Welshman wrote:Hi
I only joined the forum a few days ago but I have been an observer for some time. I am here because I have ended up with ED as a result of prostate cancer surgery, which has turned my life upside down.
I am making this post for 2 reasons:
1) To get 3 years worth of emotions off of my chest. Apart from my wife and on occasions my ED specialist I have not been able to discuss my ED issues within anyone else. I have found ED a rather lonely journey.
2) Just to tell my story.
Here goes...
I won't go into detail regarding my prostate cancer diagnosis. Suffice to say that on the day my wife and I were informed I definitely had prostate cancer we were both devastated. When I got home from the hospital I sobbed my heart out. To be honest (this is going to sound awful) I was more upset about the potential loss of sex life rather than dying whereas my wife just wanted me to live even if it meant no sex.
I eventually had prostate removed by surgery and so far it looks like this was successful.
On the night before going into hospital my wife and I indulged in some intimacy for old times sake. Afterwards as I was laying in bed waiting to go to sleep, despite the usual smile on my face I get on my face after sex, I felt rather down. I realised:
1) That was the last time I would ever ejaculate.
2) That might be the last time I would be involved in a sexual activity with my wife.
3) That might be my last ever erection.
4) And worst of all that might be my last ever orgasm.
The first realisation has of course materialised - it is impossible to ejaculate after prostate surgery. However, I am pleased to say the other 3 concerns I had have not come about.
I had to have a catheter in for a week. That in itself is a passion killer but after it was removed my libido came back quite quickly much to my amazement.
About 6 weeks after surgery my consultant prescribed me Viagra but it had no effect whatsoever, except for making me feel ill. I then tried Levitra and Cialis but also had unpleasant side effects (and didn't work anyway).
I read that it was possible to achieve an orgasm with a flaccid penis. As soon as I felt my wounds were healed enough I started to experiment. It took several attempts before I achieved an end result. As you know it takes quite a bit of muscular effort to reach an orgasm and I found the whole procedure exhausting, wore me out and took ages (well over 30 minutes). However, I eventually got there. The end result for the first few times was disappointing - hardly any feeling at all. I can only describe the orgasm as a tiny kitten sneeze for a fraction of a second.
Fortunately after some persistence and practice I have now got the procedure down to a fine art. If I put my mind to it I can easily achieve a very nice orgasm with a flaccid penis in about 5 minutes. Still tiring though! If I am lucky, sometimes I can get about a 50% erection but it is the exception rather than the rule.
Within about 4 months of surgery I obtained a vacuum erection device (VED). I found this great and at last I had something to get hold of. It took some practice and persistence but I eventually mastered the rings and was able to use it for penetrative sex. However, I could never finish and found it virtually impossible to orgasm. So I had to give up and finish by hand. Even then it was extremely difficult to get there and the end result was very poor. I still use the VED whenever I can but only for rehab purposes.
I then tried Muse. I found this very easy to use and the side effects are tolerable. Only about a 75% erection but despite that I find this the most pleasurable to use. I haven't succeeded with full sex yet but it's great for a hand job and it has given me some of the best orgasms since my surgery. For this reason I still use it when I know full sex is not on the agenda.
I am currently working with asprotadil injections. It was necessary to have a demonstration on hospital premises. My ED nurse performed the first injection and a fortnight later I had to go back and carry out an injection with my nurse watching. Both of these ended up with some action that finally made me feel like a proper man again - big smiles.
Since then I have been on my own and the injections haven't worked every time but sometimes I have been lucky.
Some of you might be thinking what about my wife and her needs. My wife is slightly younger than me and not in the best of health and if I am honest doesn't have the interest she had in pre surgery days. However, she is the most wonderful wife and has stood by me in all of my ED rehab.
If I am successful with an injection she will oblige me but if not, or if I take a Muse it is a matter of a hand job. However, I am not complaining because the quality of orgasm has improved to a degree I never thought would be possible. So physically my needs as a man are met and on a regular basis.
My main problem is psychological in that I don't get natural erections any more. The male ego within me hurts badly that my manhood no longer works, also that I have lost some size. I know that the size of a penis doesn't make a man but to me it's what gives a man drive. It's what gets him up in the morning, what drives him to succeed in his work, home and family. I am probably being over sensitive here but I just cannot shake these feelings off. Maybe my wife doesn't mind but the fact I am not ready and able (but I am willing) hits me to the core as a man.
Some of you might be thinking I have a one track mind. Well yes I do, lol! No not really. I am just an average guy, a happily married man who loves his wife and is attracted to her. I am by no means a super stud, just ordinary.
I am grateful to any one who reads my story. My ED problem continues but it has done me good off loading all of this after all this time.
For all those suffering with ED I wish you all the best. I hope my post will help in that you will be encouraged by my successes and learn from where I have gone wrong.
Apologies for a long post but thanks for listening.
Welshman;
Are you considering an implant? All of the men on here who have been implanted are more than satisfied and almost all of their women are as well. As we all know, ED just plain sucks the life out of us and when we take care of it, life as we knew it MANY YEARS ago, returns with full force. If you haven't considered it, maybe it's time you did.
Larry
