FrankTalk.org

Hi guys, new here. Great forum for all of us who need support and a place to vent/discuss/seek advice.

I'm 39 years old and otherwise very healthy - I have a high stress but extremely fulfilling career, do triathlons at a semi competitive pace/time, married with a beautiful daughter and have a great life otherwise. I am suffering from what I think is psychologic ED.

10 years ago I was dating a beautiful woman from Asia and we were hot and heavy. The morning before she had to return to her country, we had sex the entire night and I tried to have one last bang with her which was fine until she was riding me and "bent" my dick the wrong way and it was painful. After that I tried to finish but got soft. She gave me a bj and it got hard again but I got soft quickly. We couldn't finish and I took her to the airport, sad and depressed (over the relationship being long distance, not really of the sex but that too). I had 6 months of ED - couldn't get it hard touching myself, watching porn, met up with some extremely hot women but just was not aroused - basically all the symptoms many of you have experienced. Saw a few urologists who diagnosed me with psychologic ED and gave me a bunch of Viagra and Cialis. I would take the meds and try to get hard but only would get side effects and semi-erect looking at porn. Fast forward to 6 months later I flew to the girl's country to meet up. I popped a bunch of Cialis and wouldn't you know my penis became extremely erect. We had a week vacation together and pretty much did the deed multiple times a day with and without Cialis. I hardly had any issues since.

About 3 weeks ago I met up with another woman who I have known for a while (not my wife - don't judge me please), and she was looking ridiculously hot. I took her back to her hotel and we went at it. She gave me a "weird" bj and it actually hurt as if it was bending my penis. She did this 2-3 times and I told her to stop which she did. I was able to stay hard even with a condom and we finished sex which lasted a good while. Two days later I met up with another woman who I've been seeing regularly for 5 years (like a friends with benefits type of situation) and we had really good sex like usual. The next night I took the same woman to an event and after dinner we also had sex like usual (hot, heavy, a good 20-30 minutes). After drinking we tried again later that night and we had sex for about 15-20 minutes when I all of a sudden got soft. She tried to get me hard again but I kept getting soft and couldn't finish. We chalked it up to being tired and ended the night happy.

Since then it has been very hard getting hard (no pun intended). I look at hot women and don't get an erection. I watch porn and don't get an erection. If I touch myself, I can get it semi hard or even reasonably hard but once I stop touching myself it goes away within 30 seconds. I took 60 mg of sildenafil and it was pretty effective where I could penetrate my wife last week while she's on top but once I get on top I get soft (despite the fact that she is beautiful - former model in Asia, I have lost passion for years so this isn't new). I don't get morning wood like I use to and when I do it isn't as hard.

I'm getting nervous about this. Is this just psychological or did the "bending of the dick" cause trauma and lead to a venous leak (the blue screen of death it seems in ED). Took some Viagra yesterday (40 mg) and was able to get hard watching porn and upon standing up, the erection stayed for at least a minute (so I assume enough to pull out and change positions during sex?). I see my FWB later this month and hope we can continue having good sex.

Anyways, thanks for letting me vent. There seems to be a lot of good wisdom on this site.

It’s only been a few weeks. Just try to relax and take things day by day. You’ve been through this before. Try not to worry. Everyday cialis or low dose viagra could help.

Dear Friend,

ED is a complex condition with mental, physical and physiological components.
It started for me over night at age 43 after 20 years of marriage my wife kicked me out. Suddenly I couldn’t get hard no matter what. Obviously a big mental shock. Pills worked for about 5 years when I got rectal cancer then nothing worked after chemo, radiation and surgery.

I’m blessed because I can have sex like a pornstar with a small amount of Trimix injection and have an amazing dating life.

Don’t stop until you figure out the cause and or find the solution.

All the best.

Thank you for your replies and the mental support.

I met up with my FWB last night using 60 mg of sildenafil and it worked great - a little too great. Was able to have spontaneous erections just kissing and touching each other. We were able to complete intercourse 3 times within a few hours. After coming home, it was hard to get rid of my erection and I was worried about priapism so I had to really talk myself down!

I guess I'll try to go to 40 mg for a while and then 20 mg and then try to wean off eventually. I only see her 2-3 times a month at most and we don't always have sex so maybe things will be okay for the time being.

I think a big part is also going no porn and no masturbation.

Just wanted to say thank you for the support this forum gives.

newtoed wrote:Dear Friend,

ED is a complex condition with mental, physical and physiological components.
It started for me over night at age 43 after 20 years of marriage my wife kicked me out. Suddenly I couldn’t get hard no matter what. Obviously a big mental shock. Pills worked for about 5 years when I got rectal cancer then nothing worked after chemo, radiation and surgery.

I’m blessed because I can have sex like a pornstar with a small amount of Trimix injection and have an amazing dating life.

Don’t stop until you figure out the cause and or find the solution.

All the best.

I've often thought about that... If my wife were to "kick me out", I would tell her that if she wanted to split up fine... if she wants to leave, fine, but I'm not going anywhere.

Larry