FrankTalk.org

RE: Trimix and PE
Subtitle: She gets upset once I ejaculate (after a couple minutes of PIV sex) even though I ready and able to continue.

I started injections in May 2022.
Before starting injections and in consultation with my urologist two stated purposes for using Trimix was longer and more reliable erections and I could continue PIV sex even after ejaculation. Both of these objectives have been met with Trimix.

However my wife is of the opinion that once I ejaculate, I lose my sexual energy. I would beg to differ since once I ejaculate I feel empowered with an erection that doesnt want to quit. Unfortunately, she doesnt see it that way.

Last night she was on top. The injection made me so hard my penis ached. Not real bad but quite uncomfortable and I tried to tell her to be more gentle. She stopped the sex and got off. We talked about what happened. One of the things she mentioned was that I came. That was last night and she hasnt spoken to me since.

She's brought this issue up several times since starting injections.
Before using injections, I would rarely come before she did. But in order to do that I had to slow way down, and limit my thrusting. Which she found boring and often said I wasnt into it! So much so she rarely wanted sex.

The ejaculations that I have with injections happen within several minutes of PIV sex and are very low grade with very little orgasmic energy.
I dont know where she gets this idea that once I come the sex is over. I suspect she's had partners before that once they came the sex ended, which I'm assuming she greatly resented!

My question how do I get in sync with my wife for her to understand that the sex is not over until she is fully satisfied.

If you can do it without an erection try jacking off awhile before you inject (without her knowing of course). You should be able to last much longer then when you start your play time with her. What time interval to use I'll leave to you to figure out.

bldoink wrote:If you can do it without an erection try jacking off awhile before you inject (without her knowing of course). You should be able to last much longer then when you start your play time with her. What time interval to use I'll leave to you to figure out.

Thanks bldoink I need to think about the Logistics here, Since I will only inject after foreplay has started and I know she wants more.

The only thing I can think would be to get up, inject, take a quick shower, Jack off, then go back to the bed.

She's not said anything, but it seems a bit awkward the 5-10 minutes break to currently takes to inject. Adding a shower would add another 5-10 minutes.
During which time I'm concerned she could lose the mood.

But more concerning I'm not sure how she would feel or react once she found out.

She is putting so much pressure on you to be exactly what she demands. Not that you have the equipment hard and ready she is adding more anxiety to your performance.

You need to talk and focus on mutual needs and support so you both can enjoy sex without the constant critiques.

Some report success preventing PE with the drug, “Doxazosin”.

Good luck

azmike wrote:You need to talk and focus on mutual needs and support so you both can enjoy sex without the constant critiques.

Thanks Mike for the comments. Her favorite position is Woman on Top. Its the only position that I know she can orgasm without use of vibrator. Because of my ED before using injections it was a crap shoot whether I could hold a strong enough erection to do that position. Thankfully that is no longer an issue.

Unfortunately the other night (like a couple other times since starting injections) my penis was so hard it ached and I was trying to ask her to be gentle. I'm pretty sure at that point it was deja vu moment for her. She stopped the sex and got quite upset. She told me its very upsetting and she feels she can not do what she wants.
Out of frustration she also said, she's been with other guys and they loved that position. I calmly said I'm not those other guys and I dont know what they did differently. I also tried saying in the past on the (few) occasions when we were able to do that position, and it worked well was when we got into a groove. She seemed to have no clue what I meant.

Ive not heard of Doxazosin. Although for the past three years I did take Paroxetine (paxel) specifically to help delay ejaculation. Although it worked fairly well, I gained weight and I believe it weakened my erections so much so that I could only have sex in one position. As a result of the weakened erections he rarely wanted sex.

As far as talking with her, this is the second day of silence. I'm not sure how to broach the conversation.

Its frustrating for both of us. She seems to still be dealing with performance anxiety from my years of ED. I honestly dont know what to do?
I want to try new positions, although I've never done them. And in the past when I suggested anything new, she looked at me and said what are you doing. Even saying what we do do is not working well. We both feel stuck.

PSSDorAmINormal wrote:I think we all could agree that normally in men when they ejaculate there likely is an energy shift

Interesting statement.
Some women can experience multiple orgasms and men have been know to also experience them.

In my (past before using Trimix) with ED and more specifically dealing with PE, I've pretty much aways had to hold back to last more than a couple of minutes.
However using Trimix has been a whole new experience. I am hard from the start till past the end of the sex act.
I would note when I ejaculate with a few minutes after getting hard with Trimix, it is a very weak orgasm. Its more the ejaculate. I find it much more satisfying when she orgasms.

A couple times when I soloed Trimix, to see how it worked, I came within several minutes of getting hard and continued stimulation (masturbation) with full erection for an hour.
Sex with my wife last 30 minutes or less. After which I am usually still hard. She is a one and done type of gal. The sexual me wants to continue, but I stop any stimulation out of respect for my wife.

Sog, a couple of suggestions. How about when your wife is on top you wear a condom or cock sleeve to desensitize your penis? Or, if that wouldn't go over, how about when she is riding you think about taxes or some other horrible thing? Once she gets off, you can pound and get off? Just some thoughts.

PSSDorAmINormal wrote:So I would say multi orgasmic men are not the norm. I don't really know how to define multiple orgasms in a man. I guess I'd have to almost see it done to really understand it. Not saying it isn't possible.

Are you saying that with Trimix you ejaculate a lot but your orgasm is very weak? Not sure I follow

When you masturbated with the Trimix and ejaculated and continued the stimulation. Does that feel strange?
Being a one and done is fine, but it almost seems like your wife could benefit from the concept of edging. I suppose this is something females can do, but I'm certainly no expert on female parts. Can you charm her and woo her with your ways?

It may not be the norm, but Google "multi orgasmic man"

When using Trimix and ejaculate (either alone or with partner), the erection continues. The orgasm is weak because I'm not done, Its mostly release of seman.
It does not feel strange. In most cases I feel empowered, simply because do not feel any need to hold back. As one that suffered from PE for years, in most cases unless I just wanted to get off and ejaculate as quick as possible. The stimulation was always hampered with conscious or sub-conscious effort to hold back from coming within a few minutes.

As far as edging, My ED has been a central issue of disappointment for both of us. Her biggest complaint has been she never knew if it would work. It meaning my penis. Rarely have we gotten beyond any conversion regarding sex, other than my issues with ED. Although since using Trimix the tables have changed.

Thanks guys for all the comments and suggestions, its quite helpful.

solvingadream wrote:Sog, a couple of suggestions. How about when your wife is on top you wear a condom or cock sleeve to desensitize your penis? Or, if that wouldn't go over, how about when she is riding you think about taxes or some other horrible thing? Once she gets off, you can pound and get off? Just some thoughts.

Her biggest disappointment with our sex life, has been first the years I struggled with ED. And second the Woman on Top position is her favorite. But because of my ED, I wasnt able to do it. Now that she can get on top. I think we both need to learn how to make it better for her.
This may be TMI but of the several times we tried it (recently), it felt quite ruff making it uncomfortable for me. I wanted to say, lets slow down a bit, enjoy the moment and the connection. It's not a race to the finish.

Now that I think about it, we need to discuss this, Since using Trimix only once did I lose it, Where I stopped to prevent myself from coming. Otherwise the erection with Trimix last from start to well past finishing the sex act.

sogwap wrote:This may be TMI but of the several times we tried it (recently), it felt quite ruff making it uncomfortable for me. I wanted to say, lets slow down a bit, enjoy the moment and the connection. It's not a race to the finish.

Now that I think about it, we need to discuss this, Since using Trimix only once did I lose it, Where I stopped to prevent myself from coming. Otherwise, the erection with Trimix lasts from the start to well past finishing the sex act.

I don't believe any of this conversation is TMI, Sog. We've all been there. I have very much avoided my wife being on top since I have a history of being less than 100% hard, I greatly fear my penis being bent over, and having a penile injury.

As far as your "ruff" comment. Do you mean not perfectly lubricated? Like skin pulling, almost skin pinching? My wife and I use this lube, it really does the job. The only time it starts to dry is when we have a fan going in the room (often). So, we use this lube every time. My wife also has a drawer full of sex toys we work into the mix, just about every time. The larger ones use quite a lot of lube, hence the jumbo size.

Anyway, maybe if you use a bit of thick lube, and think about taxes, baseball, or something horrible or grim, you can last until she can get completely off.