FrankTalk.org

Hey everyone,

I am new to this site and wanted to quickly share my story. I am 30 years old and have been with my wife since I was 23. In June we began trying to conceive and one failure launched me into this deep performance anxiety cycle. When we first met I had something similar (mainly to it being new and exciting) but this is really causing me to struggle day to day with the constant vicious cycle of thinking about it.

I have tried counseling (doesn't work they just say to relax) and have even tried xanax and viagra but the fight or flight response seems to always win. We have a great marriage so there's no relationship issues at all, it is just a me problem I can't seem to beat.

I have been reading how caverject or other objectionable therapy can seemingly by pass the nervous system and hopefully regain my confidence which will in turn help my to begin to relax. The pressure of performing for a child doesn't help obviously either. I have a urology appt Monday where I am going to pitch this and see how it goes. I know it is a quick fix but at this point I need anything to get my confidence back. I was hoping for some feedback on if injectionable therapy can help me regain confidence and kick this anxiety cycle. Thanks.

Sweenkur wrote:Hey everyone,

I am new to this site and wanted to quickly share my story. I am 30 years old and have been with my wife since I was 23. In June we began trying to conceive and one failure launched me into this deep performance anxiety cycle. When we first met I had something similar (mainly to it being new and exciting) but this is really causing me to struggle day to day with the constant vicious cycle of thinking about it.

I have tried counseling (doesn't work they just say to relax) and have even tried xanax and viagra but the fight or flight response seems to always win. We have a great marriage so there's no relationship issues at all, it is just a me problem I can't seem to beat.

I have been reading how caverject or other objectionable therapy can seemingly by pass the nervous system and hopefully regain my confidence which will in turn help my to begin to relax. The pressure of performing for a child doesn't help obviously either. I have a urology appt Monday where I am going to pitch this and see how it goes. I know it is a quick fix but at this point I need anything to get my confidence back. I was hoping for some feedback on if injectionable therapy can help me regain confidence and kick this anxiety cycle. Thanks.

May I suggest that you create a signature. It makes things much easier to answer your questions without asking a lot of questions. Here's how you do it
Click on your name in the top right corner and select "user control panel"

Then under the big letters "User Control Panel" there is a row of words... select "Profile"

Then down the left had side of the "User Control Panel" select "Edit Signature" (You might have Create Signature or something. I don't know exactly what you'll get because I already have a signature to edit)

Most guys put something like what I have, but you can put whatever you want. Here is mine -
"AMS 700 (18 + 2 rte's). Implanted March 30, 2017 by Dr. Brock of London, Ont, CANADA. Great surgeon. Went in to septic shock and had to have implant removed April 29, 2017. I'm from Belleville, Ontario, CANADA. Appt. for consult for second attempt is on November 6, 2017... I can't wait."

Don't get too carried away with the doctor like his name, address, phone number, etc (anything that looks like advertising for him).. you can certainly say Dr. Jones (great Dr.)

If you need further help, please ask, that's what I'm here for.

Larry
Moderator

I'm no doctor and anything I post should never be considered medical advice.

You're going to see a Uro and that's a good step. I would make sure it's a Uro that includes ED treatment among his/her specialties. Call and ask in advance if penile injections are even options the doctor considers. You don't want to waste time and an appointment if the doctor is just going to refer you to someone else.

If their use is permitted in your location specifically ask if Tri-mix or compounded alprostadil are something the doctor considers. Some that will prescribe Caverject or Edex won't consider compounded meds. If that's important to you you'll want a doctor that considers those options as cost can be a factor.

Caverject and other forms of injectable alprostadil are generally very effective, as is Tri-mix with the appropriate formula. If the Uro prescribes one of these options it will likely resolve your immediate problem of being unable to perform your procreative duties. As to whether it would have any benefit toward resolving the underlying cause of your issue I couldn't guess.

Good luck in both determining the cause and finding a solution to your problem.

Thanks for the reply I appreciate it. This is my first trip Monday to the urologist but the website says it is a treatment option they have.

To give more background regarding it being performance anxiety - I can masterbate fine as well as we can do other things - just have a rush of anxiety when it comes to penetration.

I'm almost looking for a way to by pass my nervous system temporarily to get my confidence back that I can still do it. I understand it is a quick fix but after 3 months of obsessing over it I'm out of options. My wife is beyond supportive and basically said whatever you need to do she'll support it.

Be sure and show your wife how much you appreciate her support and patience. Consider yourself lucky as not everyone is blessed with a wife like yours.

bldoink wrote:Be sure and show your wife how much you appreciate her support and patience. Consider yourself lucky as not everyone is blessed with a wife like yours.

Very true. Just because you can't perform doesn't mean she has to do without.

Larry

I agree - I love her more than anything.

Hind sight is 20/20 but I do feel that trying to conceive exasperated the issue - I don't think failing without that would have caused this terrible anxiety to perform again but I am where I am with it and just want to get back to how I was.

We are even going to begin IUI next week since we both hope that'll let me take the pressure off, but I still have been getting that fight or flight response when we are getting intimate. I guess the best way to explain it is I almost feel like a virgin again in a weird way and obsessing about it is the worst. It leads me back to wanting a quick temporary fix with injections to get a bunch of successes under my belt to get back to normal. I know the consequence of becoming reliant on them is there but at this point I'm willing to take that chance.

Dear Friend,
I am 52 years old and a Trimix user with great result.
ED is a complicated and complex condition. Besides finding an immediate solution for your issue you have to address the long term as well.
I have a suggestion for you. Why don't you masturbate yourself until you are ready to ejaculate, then penetrate her and finish. Hopefully once you guys get pregnant your anxiety will subside and you enter the crazy world of parenthood which is a thousand times bigger responsibility, just believe me lol.
Injections will certainly give you erections every time, but most likely you will be psychologically dependent on them. Every time you try to have sex without you might lose your confidence.
I applaud you to address this issue instead of just hide it and withdraw like most nem would.
All the best.

Thanks for the response. I agree I do fear the long term reliance on something like that. I guess I will have to see what they say on Monday.

Couldn't agree more with the advice given already .. Im only a month into injections ..My ED is psychological started with my wife after we tried to have children and unfortunately ended up loosing 2 which in itself was a boat load of stress on both of us . The fear and uncertainty of trying a 3rd time played hell on us both but killed my ability to perform , which eventually led to rejection from my wife of any type of sexual activity for over a year ,all the stress and anxiety ultimately started the process of ending our 4 year marriage which was the icing on the cake for me . I Went from a fully functional to not being able to give myself a erection in a little over a year .. Oral medication did nothing either .. A little too late to possibly try and salvage our marriage but I recently found a Urologist willing to try injections specifically Trimix I been through all the tests and different Urologist and Drs and was told it's not a physical problem so I made the appointment was given the basic tests blood urine and physical had a penile Doppler and a test injection of Trimix within 10 min I saw my first erection in over a year ! And this was in Dr office so I knew I would have no issue at home .. Sorry for my life story but my point is that I'm confident that if you get the medication right from a experienced Urologist you won't have the problem any longer .. Anyways a bunch of great guys here with loads of experience that are glad to share stories or give suggestions.. In closing... Good luck and God willing you guys will conceive successful and enjoy and love that child for the rest of your lives together..