jfruedam wrote:This is just adding to all the issues I already face: Clinical Depression, Body Dysmorphia...I don't know how to handle things anymore. Why couldn't I have at least this little piece of normality in my life? I feel cursed, scared, and I don't really know if I have the necessary strength to overcome this and move pass it.
Sorry for the rant.
I have many other issues too my friend. In fact, I see my ED not as a disease in itself, but as a symptom of another wider disease. I always thought that I could take any other symptom but this one. Why couldn't I just have this "little piece of normality" as you say. It fucking sucks. I was dealt a bad hand, and the added ED made it a brutal hand.
If I am to point out the obvious from your post, its that you spent three hours kissing someone, so you are clearly desirable to someone. The Clinical Depression and Body Dysmorphia you will need to professional help with. But the ED is, in my view, a fully treatable issue. A cure exists. It's not like cancer. It's a disease thats been beaten. Sorting out your ED is therefore a practical issue of gaining access to treatment.
If you don't see this or don't have the strength to pursue it, then your issue is wider than the ED itself. You need to be in the right place before the issue becomes clear and manageable. Then the treatment becomes extremely exciting. I feel like the most privileged person in the world that I'm about to get this new dick. But five years ago - prior to spending three years in therapy - I would have felt closer to what you're feeling now.
I can't comment on your other issues, but honestly, this ED thing is tied up. Good treatment exists.