That *&$%#@!! Deflation Button

[stephen54]

Apparently a great journey does indeed begin with one small step...

So, yay me...I actually inflated AND DEFLATED this sweet new Titan all by myself, at home, and apparently successfully. For the first time. Honest to god this was like deciphering some fucking exotically ancient dead language with a broken decoder ring. In the dark. While handcuffed. And on hallucinogens. What a weird, disorienting experience learning this deflation process has been. So now I've cycled precisely ONE TIME and I feel like some sort of invulnerable demi-god. Like Tom Hanks triumphantly beating his chest and yelling at the sky when he first made fire on that deserted island in Castaway. There's probably a further metaphor I could invoke about my ball floating off into the dark ocean, too, but I'll stop now.

The mechanics of getting this deflation going must be nothing short of pure comedy gold to anyone observing. I mean, my wife was like, "um, holy crap, HOLD ON, I'm not going anywhere, in fact I'm going to record this". Very supportive!

As mentioned prior, my sac is just naturally quite small and very close to my body to begin with, so not much excess space in there even before Dr Levine wrangled that big ass pile of tubing and bulb/valve in there. How, I have no idea. So even with the swelling/edema largely gone now (I'm day 48 post-implant) that apparatus just does not have much space to move around. It certainly won't cooperate with moving 90 degrees to afford me a more comfortable grip. I assume it never will, so I needed to devise a way to work with it where it's currently hanging. And I've got to get this going regularly now because I'm a couple weeks behind schedule on Levine's cycling protocol. And because we plan a 2 person test drive this weekend.

So because the button stubbornly remains facing my penis/forward, I kind of found a way to pinch the business end of the deflate button and its opposite side with my left thumb and forefinger, overhand, from the front, while squeezing the fluid out of my shaft with my right. A revelation (and I guess I just missed this here on FT) was Levine explaining to me that I just need a 3 second or so depression of the button and then the tubing opens up and allows deflation. I previously thought I had to continue pressing throughout. To complete the delightful visuals here...a real hot shower helped loosed up what precious little "excess" sac I have...and then, during deflation, I found that raising my right leg up onto a table edge really helped and gave me just enough space to navigate my left hand around my sac.

Very little discomfort during inflation this time. Just a little around where the cylinders come up and under the glans. It was minor and it mostly passed within an hour. The stretching of the tissues overall though felt oddly good. Not sure how else to describe that. A little bit tingly, itchy good.

Apologies for the ridiculous early morning visuals. But yeah...one step closer. Now daily 2x cycling. I kind of don't so much recognize my dick when it's inflated. It looks pretty different from my pre-implant hardons. But I am reassured and positive about getting bigger over time by doing what needs to be done. And I think I frankly don't give much of a sideways shit if my ultimate size later does not get back to where I was. I wanted an on demand, anxiety-free dick and sexual experiences and I feel a big ass step closer. As merrix stated in a recent reply in another thread, (paraphrasing), why the hell would those of us who have gone through implantation trade the old set of ED anxieties for an entirely shiny new set of anxieties? Makes no damn sense.

Onward.

[Frederickdave]

You made me laugh so hard my implant self inflated. Keep your journal going. Even my wife laughs with your posts. We went through the same thing. Somehow the "triplets" find space to peacefully coexist and after some time you'll not even be aware of your implant. I cycle every night and it feels good. Liberating to say the least. My size has mostly returned, but like you said, who cares when you can use it on demand. When I'm in the shower and my wife hollers, "pump it up," I know it's going to be a good night. All the best to you both. That first test drive makes it all worth while.

[stephen54]

You made me laugh so hard my implant self inflated. Keep your journal going. Even my wife laughs with your posts. We went through the same thing. Somehow the "triplets" find space to peacefully coexist and after some time you'll not even be aware of your implant. I cycle every night and it feels good. Liberating to say the least. My size has mostly returned, but like you said, who cares when you can use it on demand. When I'm in the shower and my wife hollers, "pump it up," I know it's going to be a good night. All the best to you both. That first test drive makes it all worth while.

Love it! Thank you for your note. It's reassuring as hell to hear that I'm treading much the same paths as others have been down and that you've found the comfort and fun with this process that you sought. Awesome. Further re-fortifies me going forward. Also love some guys I'm meeting who bring their wives into FT and share this learning experience and community....thanks so much, take care!

[stephen54]

You made me laugh so hard my implant self inflated. Keep your journal going. Even my wife laughs with your posts. We went through the same thing. Somehow the "triplets" find space to peacefully coexist and after some time you'll not even be aware of your implant. I cycle every night and it feels good. Liberating to say the least. My size has mostly returned, but like you said, who cares when you can use it on demand. When I'm in the shower and my wife hollers, "pump it up," I know it's going to be a good night. All the best to you both. That first test drive makes it all worth while.

And hey btw if Coloplast can figure out a laugh-activated inflate/deflate mechanism they're going to post record sales....hahah

[Johnnypoppy]

Hey Stephen
We spoke a few weeks ago and I appreciated you help and support. I’m thrilled the pump/deflation and pain issues are pretty much solved for you.
If you recall I used Levine too and cannot be happier. I’m day 36 post op and just about pain free. I can’t believe it and how much improvement Over the last two weeks. I’m am getting anxious and really want to start cycling but think I should wait till the 6 week training appt I have with Gina.
I cannot tell you how much I enjoy reading your posts. I know I’m not alone in recommending you take up writing as a second career. With you amazing wife as your sidekick.
You’re the best pal.... and hilarious.
Thanks for for the help Stephan!

[stephen54]

Hey Stephen
We spoke a few weeks ago and I appreciated you help and support. I’m thrilled the pump/deflation and pain issues are pretty much solved for you.
If you recall I used Levine too and cannot be happier. I’m day 36 post op and just about pain free. I can’t believe it and how much improvement Over the last two weeks. I’m am getting anxious and really want to start cycling but think I should wait till the 6 week training appt I have with Gina.
I cannot tell you how much I enjoy reading your posts. I know I’m not alone in recommending you take up writing as a second career. With you amazing wife as your sidekick.
You’re the best pal.... and hilarious.
Thanks for for the help Stephan!

Barry! Hey!! I was thinking about you and your progress and that I needed to shoot you a message. You beat me to it and I'm so glad.

You sound so well on track and feeling really positive at this juncture. Could not be happier for you! I think Dr. Levine's little (somewhat) kept secret, is that he's an absolute artist with the knife. I've talked to two other guys who have gone through Levine and, same story as you and I...some discomfort, minimal to no pain, and a very quick clear path into recovery. Certainly not what it seems many other guys experience, so I feel fortunate as hell every day to have that guy on my side. He's ripe with humility, too - he keeps telling me that my easy recovery is mostly my doing, not his. Um, whatever. And: NO. It was chiefly and overwhelmingly his skill and experience.

And you're really so correct about the difference a mere two weeks can make. Two weeks ago I could barely fish around and even discern the buttons. Now the edema is mostly or totally resolved and I'm inflating and deflating. With some effort, but I'm figuring it out and it's getting more familiar and makes more sense and the confidence builds dramatically.

The cycling thing...interesting to say the least. I figured, ok, I'm a few weeks behind now (you said your follow on appointment was at 6 weeks, mine was at 4, not sure why?) so I'm cycling 2x / day and kind of working out my own method as best I can in the context of both trying to get caught up a little but also managing the discomfort which is accompanying cycling. It's not pain free! But it's not horrible by any stretch (insert predictable penis-cycling pun here, more to...ahem...come...in the future, unfortunately).

So I'm in this groove where I am cycling in the morning and holding it at 100% inflated for as long as I can stand it. Currently have not gotten past the 45 minute mark. It's painful, for sure, but it's also...I don't know that I'll describe this as I want to. It's just - unnervingly uncomfortable at some point.

It's intensely exciting for that first 5 minutes fully hard. It feels great, even sitting at my home office desk (yes, I've inflated during conference calls, if they only knew someone in the audience on mute was hard as a rock during talk of Q4 financials and contribution margin...kind of twisted, I'll grant you) and I'm turned on in a way - I'm looking at it and the emotionality is so strong. I think, ok, I just pressed a button and got a steel beam dick, wtf?! It's surreal. About as cool as it gets and considering what I'd gone through the last 2 decades to get/stay hard, there's an intensely emotional component to this for those first 5 minutes.

Then...it's notably and increasingly physically unpleasant over the next 40 minutes, and this feeling builds inside me where I become mentally extremely motivated verging on obsessed to deflate it on down. Physically it feels like iron bars are about to tear through the walls of my penis. It's so crazy (and, pretty damn cool, I'm sure I'll think that's the case soon enough) that this Titan gets as insanely rigid as it gets. It's utterly ridiculous technology. So I don't honestly know if what I'm doing makes sense. Levine and Gina are on board so I'm just pressing through. Getting as much stretch as I can tolerate for as long as I can tolerate, and trying to get it up to one hour hard. Minutes 35-45 I'm pacing the house, trying to control my breathing somewhat, trying to think of other things, distract myself...it's like having to pee super intensely but you have no ability to pee anywhere and you're trying to hold it and hold it and hold it and the sensation moves from discomfort to something worse but it's not just the physical it's the sense that something is INSIDE your body trying to get out! Sort of. I'm sure I'm doing an entirely crap job explaining this.

The afternoon/evening second cycle of the day is very brief. Like 5 minutes max right now. After the AM cycle my dick is pretty tender and sore for a few hours. The soreness fades fairly quickly and tricks you into thinking all is ok, but what I'm finding is that when I cycle it back up later the same day, the discomfort is fast and pretty sharp particularly around the glans. Sharper than the AM cycle. Back down we go. Just a process and maybe I'd be concerned if it weren't for the multitude of guys who've gone before me who, on this forum, assure us that this is all entirely normal.

All kinds of little nuances getting reacquainted with my dick these days. Like an old childhood friend we've all had who's moved back into town after being away for 20 years and that friend is both familiar and fun but also alien and strange somehow all at the same time. Except the old childhood friend hopefully doesn't directly make your penile glans recoil in pain...

Looking forward to continuing to hear how you're doing, Barry. Let us know. Message me if there's anything you need. I'm comically ill-equipped to offer advice, really, but moral support and a sounding board I can definitely do.

[Johnnypoppy]

Hi Stephen!
Thanks for getting back! I wholeheartedly agree that Levine is extremely talented. I’m not sure you know but I had met with 3 other surgeons (all great guys and I think the best in our area) and started getting confused and anxiety on who to chose. So happy I chose Dr Levine.
I wish you the best in the cycling and hoping the pain gets less and less.
I was really getting excited for my appt next week for ‘pump school’ but sounds like it won’t be all fun. But thanks for the info and now I’ll be. A little more prepared. Maybe I’ll take a one norco before.
The reason he had me wait 6 weeks instead of 4 was because he had to do some ‘grafting’ which needed to heal before starting to use the implant. During surgery He found some scar tissue on one side in my cavernosa that he had to remove and doing that made the ‘wall’ of the tube so thin he grafted a piece of skin on there. He said Scaring was prob from injections. I’m a little confused because I only did injections for about 6 months.
This was a situation where I’m so glad I had such an experienced surgeon where he said he’d run into this issue before
Thanks again for the post Stephan and truly wish you the best in the next few weeks.