I think my wife is jealous of my implant!?!

[TANGERINE]

yes, I know exactly how you feel, and based on what i have read about your situation, it does indeed sound like your wife "gets off on building an erection in her man"

my wife is the same way. She absolutely hated my use of viagra; despised the injections (she once said "I just cannot wrap my head around the need for you to inject"), and is miffed about the mechanical nature of the implant ("I wonder if I even need to be in the room for you to enjoy sex")

Also, I developed some worsened trouble with erection of my glans (this was caused by using propecia which really zapped any natural erection I had) and she viewed that as a sign that I had no interest in her and she had the attitude that it was a federal crime to have even the smallest problem with my erection. To make matters worse, she developed some vagina problems that made sex not pleasurable for her and which made me regret having what I thought was a glorious big and girthy titan erection. So yes, I know and feel your pain.

Here is some silver lining to the cloud --- for guys who are not well endowed, do realize that many women do not like the big penis since it can hurt them.

In my case, my wife figured out that either she loves my penis, or I send her down walking down the road. Making that calculation, she decided to do what it takes to make things work. She went to her the gynecologist to get mona lisa rejuvenation treatment and she takes estrogen and even testostorone (for libido).

This took a couple years to work out, and we are now sexually in a good place (though I do get the feeling that everything is a "mercy fuck") though, in general, I think most 60 year old women are just not that into sex.

So, if you want to make things work, you really do need to go into couples therapy (the therapist can broker a deal between the two of you, and will allow her to say the things that bother her in a non-judgemental environment).

Do realize, that if you can convince her that you love her, and that this is a "health problem" that you have, then after a year, she might grow accustomed to the "new normal" and potentially will enjoy sex again. From what you have said, I would give it a year before jumping ship. However, I certainly do understand that her whining entitled complaints are almost deal breakers and I think her complaints are justifiable for you to "play outside of the house"


PS: That is an amazing looking dick that you have, so many of us would give our right arms for something like that --- you are gifted and blessed

[Robert66]

Sound mean but the old saying i used to hear was you can have many relationships in your life but you will only have one mother. Hmmm lets change that a little you can have many women in your life but you will only have one dick. Women change take mine she works so her money is for her to enjoy. Mine is for US. To enjoy .. She is not putting in the work to give as she gets well like i said many women in the world

[ftcharlie]

Tangerine, the BEST decision you ever made was standing up for yourself like a man and demanding a normal sexual relationship or telling her to fix it or hit the road. I was in a dead bed room off an on for 25 years. Finally divorcing and wished I would have had healthy sexual boundaries and expectations YEARS AGO. I wasted my youth and I really think my VL was a result of pressure and blue balls from years of sexual frustration.

[postra7777]

I'm sort of going through the same thing. A little different though. When I used Trimix, my wife hated it because I'd have to stop and go to the bathroom and give myself a shot. Then resume 5 minutes later. We'd have to schedule sex and she hated that. There was no passion. I complained and she also told me to get a girl friend. But guess what, she only said that because she felt guilty that she was having a affair herself. I caught her by reading her text messages one night. She cut it off with him as far as I know.... After that I struggled in the bedroom even with Trimix so I got implanted. Now when we go to bed she takes about 5 minutes more than me to get ready for bed. I pump up and ready for go time if she's willing. Problem is, she's willing only about 1/10th the time as before. She has no excuse other than she says that I want sex all the time and she's gotten used to saying no.

So a couple of things, first, you say that your wife is not the cheating type. Just "inspect what you expect". I didn't think my wife was either. Second, try to seem less interested to have sex. Go as long as you can and see if she engages. My wife and I go through cycles, we'll go every day for a few days and nothing for a week. I stop "grabbing ass" and stop advances and she comes around and then the cycle starts all over. Just be very aware of these cycles. Also pay attention to how her monthly cycle effects her sexual desires so you know when to step up your advances and when they will become useless. Keep a journal and should see that there is a cycle to her desire to have sex and when there is not. It has taken me over 2 years to learn the pattern. Good luck.

By the way I did forgive my wife for being unfaithful, however I can never forget. It has caused irreversible damage to our marriage.

[NextStepImplant]

Sorry to hear that postra. Having to have figure out your wife’s cycle sounds terrible. I would be so tempted to leave her for a woman that enjoys a hard dick. Your only 50 so idd venture to guess you could be dating hot girls in their late 20s who still enjoy sex unlike you know who.

[Old Guy]

It does take time for a woman to get used to the new tool. My wife was terrified about hurting me for so long it made for kind of boring sex. Now she will stroke and suck me just like before, no issues. However I don't think she has yet touched my sack and felt the pump.
Before we decided I was gonna get my implant we considered it like getting a new knee, tooth, etc. Part of the body goes out, modern medical science has found a fix. She's had a few surgeries to "fix" stuff, so I think she grasped that idea. Most important is this IS a medical condition, not a woman's fault.

[WhiteCane]

Like many of the guys here, mine was broken for a while before I got surgery… I met my girlfriend before everything was fixed but after erectile dysfunction. I made it my priority to give some extra time for those sweet little nothings “kissing her neck if I heard her at the counter doing something, buying flowers when I was just at the store to get milk, just going the extra mile, you know?“ I listen to a Sex podcast every now and then… The host always says something along the lines of foreplay should begin when the last orgasm ends… I promise you that she loves you for much more than your penis… it really is a tough situation, I’m not going to deny that, when a woman is the type who likes to see those physical changes from soft to hard… you getting mentally hard could be that change she needs to see… I can tell you’re a good guy, you really want to love her and make love to her… so, put some moisturizer on those hands… Soften them up for some shoulder rubs, leaving little Post-it notes all over the house, and hopefully it fixes your problem… Please, be well brother…

[Waynetho]

If the "Getting him hard" is the issue, so long as the man has a similar response that I do, I think I have an idea to improve the situation...

Since I plump up within about 5-10 minutes after deflating during cycling, if I inflate to maximum and leave it that way a few minutes, when I squeeze all of the saline out it's thin and limp. Only after a few minutes does it fill out again. If, however I inflate for masturbation or sex and deflate just after climax, it stays round and doesn't flatten out or go limp.

If other men whose SOs want the effect of getting them hard, have a similar response after deflation, perhaps they could cycle before sex, then squeeze everything out until limp. Do the normal foreplay and let their SO have the experience of playing with their member while it's "fleshing out" again, and if he gets some engorgement during arousal, all the better. Once it "gets bigger" on its own, finish out the inflation enough to penetrate and she might be happy.

[andrew1959nj]

I have been with my partner off and on again for 10 years. Ever since she has known me I have had severe ED and her sex drive was waning. We had sex to completion exactly 3 times in the first 6 months and that was all of the sex that we have ever had together. Sooo, clearly she didn't like me because of my sexual prowess. Sex was never a big deal for her. However, I have always had a much higher than normal sex drive since the old age of 12! LOL She also has one of the hottest body of any woman I have ever seen. Aside from sex, we have many differences but get along great and have a very deep love for one another. We enjoy many things together and some we enjoy separately and never obligate one another to participate in things we don't like. So when I got my implant last year she made it clear that I was doing it for me and not her. She did try a few times but it was very painful as her hysterectomy has left her dry and those of you with dry pussy experience know that no amount of lube helps. I still have needs that are unmet and it would be cruel to make her try to have sex and lack of desire is a big mood breaker, to begin with. For the last year, I have found other sex outlets. She is happy, I am happy and life goes on. I would love if she were a complete slut at least behind closed doors but she isn't:( That said, there isn't another woman that I would want to be with. Her companionship is great. I once heard someone say that sex is only 5% of a relationship until there is none and then it becomes 100% of the relationship. We both have needs that are met by others and life is good. I'm discreet in my whoring around and she always responds to my "colorful" desires, that I have to find that elsewhere. I say don't throw away a good relationship because there are some differences that can be mitigated any more than you should deny living a full life.

[dg_moore]

...when I got my implant last year she made it clear that I was doing it for me and not her. She did try a few times ...

Same here, but when I finally healed she had no interest in even looking at it. I asked her to feel it so she reluctantly poked at it with her index finger. This was in 2008 and it was the first and only contact she has ever had with it. But my libido was, and has remained, just as weak as hers and we've been contact-free ever since.