Penis pump with penile implant

[Lost Sheep]

I am very sad for you. You have every right to expect to be satisfied as well. By using the VED and my implant I have gained about an inch of girth and about 3/4 of an inch in length. My dick is only slightly bigger than you and I have a few ideas that are amazing but until you can get her to agree to try something else, there is no point in describing them. Has she ever told you why she will only have sex in that position? Did you know that there are MANY people on here who have been injured, probably permanently while having sex in the cowgirl or reverse cowgirl position?

It really sounds like Mrs MichaelM is not fully in the cowgirl or reverse cowgirl position (in that there is no penetration). So, penile injury is unlikely. She appears to be only in that body position and without penetration and just grinding on MichaelM's body.

The problem is surely a lack of communication and agreement on the value of sexual satisfaction. They seem to me to be at war (over this or perhaps other issues as well). In my opinion, something to "shake loose" this logjam will be necessary.

[OregonStrong]

MichaelM, with the "pervert" statement you say she made when you asked for counselling, I'm surprised that she only will be "on top". I would have thought that a more Puritan belief structure would lead to more of a straight Missionary position. Cowgirl and Reverse Cowgirl are more exotic positions than the Missionary. It sounds like more of a Pick & Choose menu.

Sorry if I haven't explained my view adequately of if I've stepped on any toes. It's hard to explain my thoughts on such a delicate subject and being tactful and not offending someone.

Waynetho,

I think the "pervert" statement is a tactic to hide (from) the real issues. And I think there are multiple issues in the mix.

agree, she's carrying a lot of hostility at you for something else, or she doesn't love herself. Counseling, or rethink this relationship. Not fair to have to live like that.

[Charlie2019]

I am very sad for you. You have every right to expect to be satisfied as well. By using the VED and my implant I have gained about an inch of girth and about 3/4 of an inch in length. My dick is only slightly bigger than you and I have a few ideas that are amazing but until you can get her to agree to try something else, there is no point in describing them. Has she ever told you why she will only have sex in that position? Did you know that there are MANY people on here who have been injured, probably permanently while having sex in the cowgirl or reverse cowgirl position?

It really sounds like Mrs MichaelM is not fully in the cowgirl or reverse cowgirl position (in that there is no penetration). So, penile injury is unlikely. She appears to be only in that body position and without penetration and just grinding on MichaelM's body.

The problem is surely a lack of communication and agreement on the value of sexual satisfaction. They seem to me to be at war (over this or perhaps other issues as well). In my opinion, something to "shake loose" this logjam will be necessary.

5" is definitely long enough in this position. If she happens to accidentially slip it in on one of her "I don't give a shit about you" strokes, she could break it. We all know that 5" is definitely long enough in this position. I know because I was 5" and we liked that position... but my wife was careful. Be careful buddy.

[MichaelM]

I have several pieces of information that apparently are important. We seem to have focused on everything except my question of whether I can use a VED. It seems that I can, but it won't solve the real problem. My wife and I did not have sex before marriage (religious reasons for her, and I knew I had ED so I just told her about it and didn't feel like proving it. I did ask "are there things you like and things you won't do?" after we were engaged, and she said it wasn't appropriate to talk about. Then on the honeymoon I wanted to give her oral, and she said "no" and I wanted oral and she said "not now and not ever". We eventually exhausted all possibilities and it was only her on top. And she won't touch "it". About the counselor: I did go by myself. I had about 4 hour sessions, and he said (and I'll paraphrase but still use quotes) "There's no point in another session. All I can do with you alone is to help you to feel better about an unacceptable situation, and I'm not sure that is a service to you. You have done and said everything we talked about when you get home, and she will not change, so until you bring her here, or somewhere else, I'm just taking your money with no real possibility of solving anything. It is obvious that she is angry at her first husband leaving her and she is taking it out on you. You've confronted her, she refuses to accept that and blames you, so that went nowhere. She also seems to think that enjoying sex is dirty and wrong, and refusing you pleasure makes her feel cleaner". She has also told me that since the implant that she's not going to "play with a sex toy". That explains why she won't let it inside. So I think I will just be happy with pleasing myself. And I will use a penis pump without worrying about it, since you guys don't think it will hurt anything. I guess the religious idea of no sex before marriage might work for normal people. It didn't work for me. I would have found out what I was getting into. I have heard that "intercourse is a poor substitute for masturbation". I know that is true for me.

[MichaelM]

Well, no responses for 5 days, so I just have to hope I am right about using the VED with an implant and that there is no danger in doing so. I assume that my lack of responses was the result of my having tried everything with my wife and there is only one choice left: leave her. You guys would have to tell me if I actually have a chance of finding someone desirable; I can't imagine it since I have a short or barely acceptable penis, and I can't get an orgasm using anything except a major vibrator stimulation. In other words, intercourse could go on for an hour for me; it would feel good, but never finish. At 65, I wouldn't even know where to look! On the other hand, I generally get enough time (a couple of hours) throughout the week where the wife is gone and I can do what I would ask a woman to do (but I probably do it better). If she wasn't so mean the rest of the time. If you can, let me know if there are any caveats for using a VED with an implant. Thanks.

[Waynetho]

Well, no responses for 5 days, so I just have to hope I am right about using the VED with an implant and that there is no danger in doing so. I assume that my lack of responses was the result of my having tried everything with my wife and there is only one choice left: leave her. You guys would have to tell me if I actually have a chance of finding someone desirable; I can't imagine it since I have a short or barely acceptable penis, and I can't get an orgasm using anything except a major vibrator stimulation. In other words, intercourse could go on for an hour for me; it would feel good, but never finish. At 65, I wouldn't even know where to look! On the other hand, I generally get enough time (a couple of hours) throughout the week where the wife is gone and I can do what I would ask a woman to do (but I probably do it better). If she wasn't so mean the rest of the time. If you can, let me know if there are any caveats for using a VED with an implant. Thanks.

POF.com and AFF.com ("Plenty of Fish" and "Adult Friend Finder")

Just sayin'... If that's what you want to do. An on-demand erection is a major selling point.

[544kenmatt]

I hope she has some redeeming qualities.

[MichaelM]

Waynetho, I've never had good luck with online dating. Most people lie, and I have never had a good date from one (back when I was single).

544Kenmatt, redeeming qualities? As I mentioned before, when sex is working, it's 10% of a relationship, when it isn't, it is 90% of a relationship. But let's see...as a retired teacher, I get no benefits after retirement, and her job gives her, and me!, health benefits for life. That's a pretty redeeming quality. I think it would take a lot for me to say that I can find any personality qualities I would mention (after being refused entry into her sexually since 12/11/2007). I'm sort of mad. The therapist said a lot of stuff about that, but after I did everything he told me to do in talking to her, he said "then I don't blame you...anybody would be mad, especially after she will assume no responsibility". Health benefits,...yep.

[LeRoastBeef]

I think the gerneral consensus here is that you can safely use a VED with your implant. But that you must pump your implant up first. Which is maybe obvious but worth saying.
You can use a ring with the implant, there are a few guys here who do. Your Dr said it was okay, Dr Perrito also says that there is no way one would damage the implant.
I sympathise with your relationship troubles, it sounds like she's making excuses and should care more about you. But I'm not in any position to give advice on that.

[Gt1956]

My totally non professional opinion. As others have said. After the implant is inflated. A few sessions starting off at some low vacuum settings should tell you how things will react. Be gentle, go slow. Watch for problems.
As for relationship advice. Meeting someone who you are compatible with is a challenge. My unsolicited feeling is you fit what she was looking for perfectly. It is sad, but I've seen several marriages that were basically doomed because of many years of negative sexual teaching during the wife's youth. They couldn't adapt the teaching into a marriage very well.