Penis pump with penile implant

[Charlie2019]

Well, no responses for 5 days, so I just have to hope I am right about using the VED with an implant and that there is no danger in doing so. I assume that my lack of responses was the result of my having tried everything with my wife and there is only one choice left: leave her. You guys would have to tell me if I actually have a chance of finding someone desirable; I can't imagine it since I have a short or barely acceptable penis, and I can't get an orgasm using anything except a major vibrator stimulation. In other words, intercourse could go on for an hour for me; it would feel good, but never finish. At 65, I wouldn't even know where to look! On the other hand, I generally get enough time (a couple of hours) throughout the week where the wife is gone and I can do what I would ask a woman to do (but I probably do it better). If she wasn't so mean the rest of the time. If you can, let me know if there are any caveats for using a VED with an implant. Thanks.

I used the VED with no problem. Inflate you implant fully. Then put the VED. Instructions from Dr. Perito.- pump until it is one pump away from being uncomfortable and leave the VED on for 20 to 30 minutes then take both off.. This worked like a charm for me.

[MichaelM]

I pumped up today and put 2 silicone bands around the cock/balls and one around the cock at the base and released the suction after about 10 minutes because I had to pee. Took everything off and urinated, then saw three dark drops of blood come out of the penis. It's been an hour or so, now, and no more blood, and I've urinated a couple times. What did I to to myself? Rip something? No pain was felt before, during or after...

[OregonStrong]

I think you probably just popped a very small blood vessel in the urethra from the suction, the VED is not going to disrupt the corpora cavity where the implant is located. May need to not use the VED for a few days, let it heal, but I'd imagine it is not a big deal.

[MichaelM]

My totally non professional opinion. As others have said. After the implant is inflated. A few sessions starting off at some low vacuum settings should tell you how things will react. Be gentle, go slow. Watch for problems.
As for relationship advice. Meeting someone who you are compatible with is a challenge. My unsolicited feeling is you fit what she was looking for perfectly. It is sad, but I've seen several marriages that were basically doomed because of many years of negative sexual teaching during the wife's youth. They couldn't adapt the teaching into a marriage very well.

So, GT, you're saying she was looking for someone who was impotent, who would tolerate no sex before marriage, and who would not leave the marriage when he found out she was lying when she said during our engagement "I promise I will make you happy in the bedroom". She had to know that was a lie. I did try to make sure she understood that I was expecting a full sex life (with her patience with the ED, which I was treating with tri=mix and/or VED. That would mean that she was devious in her planning and execution. I hadn't really thought of that. And the counselor sort of hinted at it, but didn't state it definitively. Rather than make me mad, it makes me embarrassed that I was such a fool! All my friends told me to "get out of there". One very good friend (married female) said "there are more sexual hangups than you can imagine and doing nothing beforehand gives you no idea what to expect. In fact, most people believe that marriage will just be a continuation of the circumstances experienced during your dating and engagement". Boy, was she right!

[Waynetho]

MichaelM, it might be possible that you already have friends of the opposite sex as you discuss this here, that might even be open to a FWB (friends with benefits) relationship. Also, some women are up for NSA (no strings attached) hookups. Don't dismiss the chance that you could have any kind of sexual enjoyment. You are still in the normal range of the penis length bell-curve so there are women out there that would enjoy what you've got. If you truly are disenchanted enough with your current situation to look elsewhere, there are options.

[Gt1956]

I don't like to be the bearer of bad news. I only basically said what you have said in your posts but using different words.
It is my belief from having known men that married women that were raised in negative sexual religions. That a select few women have a very very hard time understanding that sex within a marraige is different from what is taught. Even my wife has said that some of her female friends should attend church less. Their minds get cloudy from the lectures. Is this what your life is? How do I know? I can't diagnose your marriage, only you can. My comment is only to mean that you fit her beliefs very very well. Was she looking for a man in your position? Who knows, but she seems more than comfortable with how things are. A person can argue that she has a dildo that can talk. If that is acceptable to both parties, great. Btw, I must of missed the lesson on using your partner to mastubate with. I bet that was a lively lesson. I can only point out how things seem to be.
Here is an real discussion with a co-worker that I had. He married his high school girlfriend, was a rowdy young man. Found God in his mid 20's. No issues in my mind. They had a couple of girls. The oldest started having sex. Went through several boys. He was distraught over this. Had many talks with her about it. He & I talked about it one day. My only question was "how many virgins were at your wedding"? He said but that was different.
One of my few long time friends at work knew the exact night his children were conceived on. He has quit even trying for sex. Way to much work for the results. Oh, she is pretty devout.
So now is the questions I think you should ask yourself. I think you mention that your health benefits came from her. Are you old enough for Medicare? If you was single, since you've mentioned you have bad arthritis. Could you get Medicaid in your state?
Is she the principle income earner? In my state, an income difference of 30% put one party in the position of paying spousal support. That support might include health insurance.
Don't be afraid of divorce. In the senior population there are more worthy women that worthy men. You likely don't know that I live in Utah. Maria Osmond, Utah's poster girl of morality has been married 3 times. But 2 marriages were to the same man. Religious people do get divorced. There will be single religious women waiting to help you along. Btw, there is a good chance that several of them will keep track of you & won't leave you alone.
One last work story. I know a rather low quality guy that would got to church functions for the free food. He complained that women would follow him around trying to talk to him. It interfered with his eating as much as he could.
Sorry to talk so much religion. But I got the feeling from some of your posts that it was a factor in your position. If I misread that. I apologise immensely. I do wish the best for you from this internet stranger to another.

[Gt1956]

Sorry, I just read part of you post to me again. Laws differ in every state. If you was deceived into marrying her. You might be able to get an anullment. But the down side would likely be no support after the annulment.
Again, a co-worker story. This was in the early 80's. This guy got an anullment because his new wife deceived him about how much debt she had prior to the marraige. He had a good job & was very good with money. During the first few months she kept giving him her bills that came in the mail. He seemed ok with the first couple. But at some point he looked at her past life & decided that he didn't want to see what her future life would be like.
Just dawned on me. A woman that isn't having sex with you pending your marriage. Is a poor canidate to all of a sudden to become wild with you when a piece of paper is signed. Drive that car before you buy it! Haha, my wife's girlfriend said the exact same thing about her second husband. She wasn't interested in marrying a dud in the sack. I guess he passed the interview cause they've been married 7 or 8 years.

[Waynetho]

@MichaelM,

I read the major parts of your story to my wife who agrees with most everyone here in that she wouldn't blame you if you were so inclined to go outside of your current marriage for enjoyment. Withholding gratification when it's fully possible, "just because" might be considered grounds for divorce or annulment (assuming the marriage is inconsummate or was based on deception).

Just so you know, my wife is normally very conservative and wouldn't suggest pulling the legal trigger unless she felt it was causing an physically or emotionally abusive relationship.

[MichaelM]

@MichaelM,

I read the major parts of your story to my wife who agrees with most everyone here in that she wouldn't blame you if you were so inclined to go outside of your current marriage for enjoyment. Withholding gratification when it's fully possible, "just because" might be considered grounds for divorce or annulment (assuming the marriage is inconsummate or was based on deception).

Just so you know, my wife is normally very conservative and wouldn't suggest pulling the legal trigger unless she felt it was causing an physically or emotionally abusive relationship.

Interesting, as a teacher I have heard women say that their husband wants sex and they consider it abusive because they don't! So if she doesn't want it and I do, who is to say which is the one being abused? I, as the one denied, or she, as the one who has to do something she doesn't want to do (of course, that presupposes that I am not asking for anything specific, but rather just ANY sexual contact, even contact that just gives her an orgasm, like oral sex, or a vibrator [horrors!, of course]). So these teachers (older, of course, between 45 and 65) believe that they have the right to deny all sex because they are no longer interested, and sometimes don't lubricate (I make sure I always have lube) and not only would it be abusive if they husband insisted, but it would be rape. And when asked what their husband is supposed to do, they have no answer other than "tough luck" (with it clear that another woman, or man!, or masturbation is completely unacceptable.) They see no abuse in denial, AND refusal to accept any male release outside their presence as well. Will I get a divorce? No! Those are the women who are out there! The ones who are kind, fair, etc. never got divorced at 65...they may not have much sex now but they did for many years. I, on the other hand, have had intercourse and allowed to complete it, about 10 to 12 times in my 65 years.

[OregonStrong]

@MichaelM,

I read the major parts of your story to my wife who agrees with most everyone here in that she wouldn't blame you if you were so inclined to go outside of your current marriage for enjoyment. Withholding gratification when it's fully possible, "just because" might be considered grounds for divorce or annulment (assuming the marriage is inconsummate or was based on deception).

Just so you know, my wife is normally very conservative and wouldn't suggest pulling the legal trigger unless she felt it was causing an physically or emotionally abusive relationship.

Interesting, as a teacher I have heard women say that their husband wants sex and they consider it abusive because they don't! So if she doesn't want it and I do, who is to say which is the one being abused? I, as the one denied, or she, as the one who has to do something she doesn't want to do (of course, that presupposes that I am not asking for anything specific, but rather just ANY sexual contact, even contact that just gives her an orgasm, like oral sex, or a vibrator [horrors!, of course]). So these teachers (older, of course, between 45 and 65) believe that they have the right to deny all sex because they are no longer interested, and sometimes don't lubricate (I make sure I always have lube) and not only would it be abusive if they husband insisted, but it would be rape. And when asked what their husband is supposed to do, they have no answer other than "tough luck" (with it clear that another woman, or man!, or masturbation is completely unacceptable.) They see no abuse in denial, AND refusal to accept any male release outside their presence as well. Will I get a divorce? No! Those are the women who are out there! The ones who are kind, fair, etc. never got divorced at 65...they may not have much sex now but they did for many years. I, on the other hand, have had intercourse and allowed to complete it, about 10 to 12 times in my 65 years.

Life is too short and you only get one. Don't stay in a relationship or marriage where the other one is unwilling to fulfill the duties of that marriage (meaning an active sex life), or if they refuse, let you fulfill those needs in other ways.