Implant replacement surgery 12/23

[C_lab34]

I have paid the surgeon's fee and locked myself down for surgery on December 23rd. I have decided to go with a Titan. Maybe there will be no positive difference in girth, rigidity, durability, erection angle, pump, etc, or maybe all of these things will be better. The way I'm looking at it is that right now I can afford to live at home for another six months and pay off the surgery.

In certain respects, I very much love women, but they have also really let me down lately. Not saying I am also not to blame, but I think a few months of not dating will do me well, and when I am healed and spring rolls around, I hope the covid stuff is somewhat under control, and then maybe I will get back out there.

It is just a flat out strange time to be dating, and I did not think I would ever have to do it again. I hate the apps, the swiping, the digital and disposable culture. People are very superficial and cold, and even the way they pursue pleasure seems counterproductive or self-defeating. I have known many women who put on a show of preferring casual relationships and short term encounters, but at the same time they complain about bad sex and guys not caring about them. I am not trying to make a sweeping mysognyistic statement; the same thing applies to men as well, where they seem to go after what is bad for them and ignore what could make them happy, almost as if dysfunctional and selfish behavior becomes part of their identity and they do not want to let it go. Something in the water or in the air has convinced many of us that people are not really worth investing in, and so we just kind of cycle through them like any other consumer product, all the while feeling empty and adrift.

Maybe I need to join a church or get involved in something that really takes the focus off the self, away from the individual and this trash culture of consumerism and hedonism. I know this post is getting outside the bounds of usual franktalk fare, so I should probably talk more about rear tip extenders and whether I will lose a half inch or what's the best way to ice my nuts after surgery.

It's just that, yes I want a functional penis. I want to be able to penetrate a woman. But not just any interchangeable woman from a deck. It hardly seems worth the pain and risk of surgery if all I'm going to do with an implant is order semi awkward sexual encounters to my door like chinese takeout. There is a part of me that thinks I really would be okay with just waiting until I found the right relationship and then getting a new implant. But I am going to go ahead and hope for the best.

On more solid franktalk ground, my surgeon, Dr. Tatem, has been extremely prompt in answering my questions via email. He projects a lot of confidence and knowledge for being so young. He said he is comfortable with the 24 cm titan cylinders and splicing the tubing to get the pump in the right spot. He likes the genesis pump, and he also said he would likely use the infrapubic approach. I find that interesting. My first surgery was done with a penoscrotal incision. Revisions seem challenging with an infrapubic incision, but he said it would be no problem. I like the idea of faster recovery and less pain in the scrotum.

[SW0110]

Having had the titan for 10 months till hernia surgery, then it no longer works. Due to issues with the hernia complication, went local for the revision.

In my opinion, the titan edges out my lgx. I come to this after a bit of soul searching. My doc said since I had the titan for a year, I would not have to worry about the peyronies anymore. 8 months with the lgx, he was right. Still I was worried.

I had no issues with the titan cylinders after about the third month or so. They softened up and laid right down over my sac with a nice normal package for me. After week 3 and visit to doc, I figured out the pump. It was small and more comfortable. Granted the deflate button was a bit harder to find at first but once I found it no issue. Straight hard and usable. I only had 19 cm total cylinders though so not the longest for a titan, but peyronies was docs reason. Dog ears were there but I really paid little attention to them. Loved that thing.

Now ams. Cylinders were more comfortable day 1. Now you had cx so they are probably harder than lgx, so let me move to pump since I cannot compare those. Hate this pump. Big blocky and rectangular. As my wife says, it is absolutely noticeable in my sac compared to the titan. My balls were bigger than it. This one crowds out one of mine badly. She gets to squeezing to hard it causes pain in my sac.

Not to be negative. Just having had both and no issues with either. Used both quite a bit as well. Do this again, I will be looking for a 21 cm titan, I hope.

It will be good to have another opinion from someone who will have had both to see if when it comes down to it, will one be better. For me, not much of a preference, but the pump for me edges the titan to the front. Having a failure at 10 months and not the pumps fault, my only observation for a revision is.

When this one fails, if, or when, I am getting it fixed asap.

I am sure you will be happy. Just have some patience.

[Swankyswanks]

C-Lab we have spoken before. Today is my 3 week date from my 1st ever implant surgery out of Indianapolis as well but with Tatems partner Jason Kovac. He may not be the fastest replier on emails but when he does he answers all my questions. Reading all these lengthy posts of you Veterans has eased my mind as i too have some conyourted cylinders mostly on rt where dog ears are. Glad to here that this will eventually wear inyo place and soften up. I just started cycling and hope W/ aggressive cycling i can get some of my 7in plus dude back barely over 5.25" rt now. My girth is a lil bigger but may be due to edema swelling. Only cycling tho has been at nt last 3 nts and feel im getting it all the way pumped up but at end feels kinda weird as i can feel the bubbles of saline sqeezintot the tubes. Dorsnt hurt just hearing it and feeling it is weird.
My wife is definitely ready but wants to make sure im healed .. her bday is Friday and i know i wont be ready as rt now i know Im not ready. Sonill have to make it up when i can. My insurance Humana covered 100% and im lucky as my secondary blue cross blue shield is my wife's insurance and if I didnt have any of these... id be close to suicide as man the stress and depression and just not feeling like a man.. is not worth living for. Im not at all a pessimistic person and have had an extremely very hard life that has prepared me mentally how to be tough and not give two fuks what come my way... but when u cant pleasure your hot wife ive been with over 20 yrs and still a very young man.. its unreal to ego! Like Austin Powers, I lost my mojo.
My wife knowing how I am has been nothing but impressed with my fortitude to follow thru with such a scary procedure thst can have consequences the rst of your life. But i did it and I promise you fellow FT members help lead the way as I was lost in a cave and Had noone to talk to, i have friends, employees at my business, family but was so embarrassed couldn't and still cant let it out. Thats why I went to Indy as Louisville is a hotspot of folks I know and probably would know folks in the operating room! There was no way that could happen!
I will keep my progress posted and cant wait to get back to a healthy sex life so the rest of my life can pick rt back up where it started ... minus the Covid! Take care fellas and C-Lab let me know if you ever need to talk as sounds like we have alot in common. I use to be a tattoo artist and use that side of the brain also!

[LeRoastBeef]

.

[ViaSwiss]

Swankyswanks, funny, same reason I am going to Indy/Tatem. I can have my urologist in Fort Wayne do it, but I am 95% sure someone in billing, nursing, etc would know me and see what procedure I was having done. Big small city issues.

[C_lab34]

LeRoastBeef, what happened to your thoughtful post? I read it earlier on my phone and was going to write a more in depth reply. If you felt embarrassed by what you shared, I understand, but I thought you brought up some good points.

Well, the date of my revision surgery is getting closer and I have been feeling the occasional spike of nerves. My mind has probably always been my best friend and greatest enemy. I worry about complications, infections, the whole procedure being thrown off by covid, etc. I will say I still find it interesting to reflect on the idea of not dating for a while, even though I am going ahead with the surgery. One thing that is interesting is how in the initial aftermath of realizing my implant was broken, I felt an incredible sense of urgency to get it fixed because I believed I was still in a relationship, and could still preserve the intimacy I shared with a particular woman if I acted quickly enough. But when it became clear that she would not be supporting me in any way shape or form(even as a friend, it seems), I entered a new frame of mind. I realized that I have been overly dependent on getting validation from women, and from sex, and I say this as a man who has always had ED.

I suppose the positive way to spin it is that I've always had a romantic streak, but the more sober assessment would be that I struggle to be happy with myself, and because I am not overly social by nature, I overload my romantic relationships to compensate for a deeper loneliness and maybe even lack of purpose.

Funny how even something as genuinely crushing as impotence can almost become an excuse for living a balanced life. Lord knows how much time I've spent "researching" implants, watching videos, thinking of scenarios, possibilities, dreaming of the day when my penis would be fixed. I tell myself I'm being informed, but at some point I'm spinning my wheels. I'm avoiding something. I know I'm doing it now, even, though I think I'm doing a decent job attending to other things. Still studying and doing well in class, still writing and I've just found a potential publisher for my novel. It's a small press, but it's a start. So I haven't disappeared into a cave. But, I still catch myself burning time up reading more article abstracts, watching implant surgery videos, reading this very forum. Why? Well, I guess it's information, but how much do you really need? Truly the best thing about having a working implant is the peace of mind, the mental freedom and clarity to wholly devote yourself to something other than your penis.

I really don't mean this in a disrespectful way, but despite our shared condition, I find it difficult to relate to many of the men on this forum. I share this in a spirit of vulnerability and honesty, not trying to be a troll or provocative. Many are older, with longtime wives and girlfriends. Others seem to want to fuck anything that moves, or jump right into a dating scene where people have sex without getting to know each other at all. I remember wanting that myself, especially years ago, and a little bit around the time when I first got my implant. But now I'm honestly not sure where my path is taking me. I know I'd prefer a committed relationship with one woman, but part of the problem is that I've aged and become so particular and set in my eccentric ways, I just flat out have no patience for a vast majority of women (also don't mean this in a mysogynistic way, it's not hateful, I just find them rather dull) and I'm at a strange point in my life where I can't really date women too young, and women closer to my age tend to be divorced or have kids.

Plus, I felt that the way our social world functioned before covid was already alienating enough, with people scurrying around, faces glued to screens, earbuds in, probably looking for "partners" on apps instead of considering those around them. I know I'm not some fossil from the wayback times before color televisions or anything, but something just seemed off about being out in public among people who really are not even hearing or seeing anything going on around them. Now it's even worse, where you can't even see people's faces or get a read on what anyone is thinking or feeling. Except for the occasional outburst over proper mask protocol. The edginess and tension I think comes from the anxiety of living in such an anti-human way, but I am just musing here. Nevertheless, I am committed to getting this over with. I hope for the best, but outside of a successful surgery and a longlasting implant, I'm not sure what the best even is.

[barrylandon]

C_lab34...
I found your post to be extremely heart-felt and soul-searching. Thanks for sharing your innermost feelings. Please add a signature to your posts (something like mine) so that we can know what IPP you currently have that needs a revision. It also would be helpful to know why you need a revision. Best of luck and tell us when your book is published so we can buy it!

[Fran4524]

I have paid the surgeon's fee and locked myself down for surgery on December 23rd. I have decided to go with a Titan. Maybe there will be no positive difference in girth, rigidity, durability, erection angle, pump, etc, or maybe all of these things will be better. The way I'm looking at it is that right now I can afford to live at home for another six months and pay off the surgery.

In certain respects, I very much love women, but they have also really let me down lately. Not saying I am also not to blame, but I think a few months of not dating will do me well, and when I am healed and spring rolls around, I hope the covid stuff is somewhat under control, and then maybe I will get back out there.

It is just a flat out strange time to be dating, and I did not think I would ever have to do it again. I hate the apps, the swiping, the digital and disposable culture. People are very superficial and cold, and even the way they pursue pleasure seems counterproductive or self-defeating. I have known many women who put on a show of preferring casual relationships and short term encounters, but at the same time they complain about bad sex and guys not caring about them. I am not trying to make a sweeping mysognyistic statement; the same thing applies to men as well, where they seem to go after what is bad for them and ignore what could make them happy, almost as if dysfunctional and selfish behavior becomes part of their identity and they do not want to let it go. Something in the water or in the air has convinced many of us that people are not really worth investing in, and so we just kind of cycle through them like any other consumer product, all the while feeling empty and adrift.

Maybe I need to join a church or get involved in something that really takes the focus off the self, away from the individual and this trash culture of consumerism and hedonism. I know this post is getting outside the bounds of usual franktalk fare, so I should probably talk more about rear tip extenders and whether I will lose a half inch or what's the best way to ice my nuts after surgery.

It's just that, yes I want a functional penis. I want to be able to penetrate a woman. But not just any interchangeable woman from a deck. It hardly seems worth the pain and risk of surgery if all I'm going to do with an implant is order semi awkward sexual encounters to my door like chinese takeout. There is a part of me that thinks I really would be okay with just waiting until I found the right relationship and then getting a new implant. But I am going to go ahead and hope for the best.

On more solid franktalk ground, my surgeon, Dr. Tatem, has been extremely prompt in answering my questions via email. He projects a lot of confidence and knowledge for being so young. He said he is comfortable with the 24 cm titan cylinders and splicing the tubing to get the pump in the right spot. He likes the genesis pump, and he also said he would likely use the infrapubic approach. I find that interesting. My first surgery was done with a penoscrotal incision. Revisions seem challenging with an infrapubic incision, but he said it would be no problem. I like the idea of faster recovery and less pain in the scrotum.

ey, how it is going with your implant? did you get a new one titan finally?