My Journal

[proctor]

Very motivating words!

I first read your blog in feb 2020 when i was casually googling about implant. Then i read it fir next one week. At the same time started watching the videos of Dr Kramer. Then in Aug had my thing done. I wish your post was pinned at the top of FT!

[Time2Change]

I agree with Merrix.

After 18+ years of ED, I was at my wit's end. When I met with my doctor for the first time last February, and he told me about implants as an option, I was stunned. I couldn't believe no one had ever suggested it before then.

I didn't have to spend much time at all researching before I made my decision. I knew an implant wasn't going to be perfect. But compared to what I'd been dealing with since I was 32, I knew it would be infinitely better.

And so far, I'm right. Physically, I'm 180 degrees different from how I was on the morning of my surgery. I've lived with ED for so long, that I've forgotten what I was like before the implant. I am very happy with the results.

If anyone wants to spend real time researching, it should be on the best surgeon available. Merrix's tag makes that clear. Someone pointed out that you can find ratings on doctors from the implant companies. I would suggest looking at those ratings. I think a good surgeon will do right by any guy.

And I echo Merrix's sentiments. Think of how much better off you will be compared to now, not how you were at 18 or 25. Last night, I fucked my wife for an hour straight. I've never been able to do that before because I met her after the advent of my ED. Consequently, my mood today, and the air between me and my wife, is so much lighter than it would have been in the past. For that reason, too, I don't regret my decision at all.

[VicMor]

Merrix,you are so right! I spent about couple of months on my research when I found your journal and because of it I made up my mind and got my implant. It was the best decision I have made within last 10 years (and I made some good ones) My wife and are enjoying our sex life fully. What a relief that you don't have to check whether your dick is hard or not and the orgasms are so intense! Thank you Merrix! Would I want to go back to my pre implant dick,NO F--- WAY!

[merrix]

As you know I am fighting against the BS which seems to florish on this site that a Titan will have a shitty flaccid and you won't be able to wear tight clothes.
I have posted plenty of pics on my flaccid (page 61), underwear (61), and in swim shorts (61 and 69).
Someone asked somewhere about jeans.

Well, here it is. Jeans don't come much tighter than this.
I am wearing tight boxer briefs under. Dick pointing straight down.
If I want to show my dick for some reason, I wear it to the side.

And as my signature says, I have a Titan XL, 24 cm, no RTE.
My inflated, aroused bone pressed length is just north of 18 cm (7.1"), girth is 14.3 cm (5.6").
Flaccid length, not aroused, bone pressed, is about 15.5 cm (6.1).

The "All Titans have shitty flaccids impossible to hide in clothes" must die.
It is just not true, and most often comes from a disappointed poor bastard who had a doc who fucked up in some way.
But when installed correctly, then it's just fine.

Jeans 2.jpg (123.94 KiB) Viewed 2541 times

Jeans 1.jpg (128.38 KiB) Viewed 2541 times

[Echegollen]

Now I have a perfectly straight 18 cm dick that is always hard, which gives me the ability to be the best lover any woman I sleep with has ever had.
It gives me the luxury of only focusing on pleasure. For me and my partner. No worries, no limitations.
I have a dick, which when I am out at some bar/club, I can inflate to whatever level I want in my pants. If I want nobody to see it, fine. If I want a big fucking semi in my pants which girls come up and ask if they can touch - fine. Have it.
I can fuck anyway and anywhere I want. On my back, standing, hanging fucking upside down if I want to. And I can do it anywhere any time, drunk or sober.
All I need is 60 seconds and two free hands. Then I'm ready for anything. Any time. Anywhere-

That is so motivating! I love how your write. Like you probably know, I have been following you for a while. You helped me tremendously in making the decision to get a penile implant and I'll definitely go for the Titan! However, I still want to wait for a while for the following reasons:

-I want to do penis enlargement exercises for at least a year to maximize my size before getting the implant. My current erect length (not bone pressed) is 6.5'' (16.5 cm) and my erect girth is 5.25''. I would love to get to Merrix's size of 7'' in length and 5.5'' in girth. I know penis enlargement exercises are considered dangerous but what do I have to lose? I already have a crappy dick. I'm currently 37 years old and I had a crappy dick all my life. If I can get a porn star dick like Merrix, it will compensate for my previous miserable sex life.

-I am passionate about jiu-jitsu and I know there is no guarantee I'll still be able to ''roll'' after the implant. I need to get this out of my system first. If I'm still able to roll after my implant, it will be great! If not, at least I will have enjoyed myself until my 40s. I'll just replace sports with a much better sex life.

In the meantime, I am still using Caverject which is far from perfect, but good enough for now. It's sad because Caverject could be the best thing in the world for me if it weren't for the ''hinge'' effect. Some people call it the ''swivel'' effect. In other words, my penis gets hard but it is still loose at the base. It makes the experience of intercourse less from ideal. Every once in a while, I will get very hard erection for 5-10 seconds during which my penis doesn't move at the base. The difference is night and day! I can only imagine how incredible it would be if I could stay hard without any hinge effect for 1 hour... Hopefully one day I'll get to experience that!!!

[brickbat]

Now I have a perfectly straight 18 cm dick that is always hard, which gives me the ability to be the best lover any woman I sleep with has ever had.
It gives me the luxury of only focusing on pleasure. For me and my partner. No worries, no limitations.
I have a dick, which when I am out at some bar/club, I can inflate to whatever level I want in my pants. If I want nobody to see it, fine. If I want a big fucking semi in my pants which girls come up and ask if they can touch - fine. Have it.
I can fuck anyway and anywhere I want. On my back, standing, hanging fucking upside down if I want to. And I can do it anywhere any time, drunk or sober.
All I need is 60 seconds and two free hands. Then I'm ready for anything. Any time. Anywhere-

That is so motivating! I love how your write. Like you probably know, I have been following you for a while. You helped me tremendously in making the decision to get a penile implant and I'll definitely go for the Titan! However, I still want to wait for a while for the following reasons:

-I want to do penis enlargement exercises for at least a year to maximize my size before getting the implant. My current erect length (not bone pressed) is 6.5'' (16.5 cm) and my erect girth is 5.25''. I would love to get to Merrix's size of 7'' in length and 5.5'' in girth. I know penis enlargement exercises are considered dangerous but what do I have to lose? I already have a crappy dick. I'm currently 37 years old and I had a crappy dick all my life. If I can get a porn star dick like Merrix, it will compensate for my previous miserable sex life.

-I am passionate about jiu-jitsu and I know there is no guarantee I'll still be able to ''roll'' after the implant. I need to get this out of my system first. If I'm still able to roll after my implant, it will be great! If not, at least I will have enjoyed myself until my 40s. I'll just replace sports with a much better sex life.

In the meantime, I am still using Caverject which is far from perfect, but good enough for now. It's sad because Caverject could be the best thing in the world for me if it weren't for the ''hinge'' effect. Some people call it the ''swivel'' effect. In other words, my penis gets hard but it is still loose at the base. It makes the experience of intercourse less from ideal. Every once in a while, I will get very hard erection for 5-10 seconds during which my penis doesn't move at the base. The difference is night and day! I can only imagine how incredible it would be if I could stay hard without any hinge effect for 1 hour... Hopefully one day I'll get to experience that!!!

Penis enlargement exercises are safe as long as you are careful and not going to extremes. Since you have a flaccid most all the time, I would recommend bundled (twisted) stretches. You can find those exercises on Thundersplace or PEGym. Just dont get extreme with the tightness of the twisting or extreme with the stretches. These exercises are so encouraging to the male psyche. You will begin to see results maybe even on day 1 if you do three sets of clockwise and counterclockwise bundled stretches of at least a minute duratiom per stretch and do them three times a day. At least I did.

You are probably seven inches or more bro bone pressed. You have to measure that way to make sure you are growing. Otherwise, wherever you place the ruler may not be consistent and you may easily become discouraged. So bone pressed with a carpenter extension rule is the best way to measure length, as a carpenters extension rule is easy to handle and you can stab the pubic bone more easily with that carpenters extension rule. Bundled stretches are good for length and for girth, and you will love the way your member hangs when you take a leak much fatter in girth and longer in length. Remember.......at least three sets a day of at least two minutes per set. One clockwise for a minute and another counterclockwise for a minute. Get going and report back. Bigger is better. Someone made a small fortune with that motto and he invented the penis hanger (stretcher) and has his own website helping men get bigger and learning how to wrap to avoid injury and do it safely. Bib (bigger is better) invented the Bib's Hanger. Google him if interested.

Good luck. Penis enlargement is fun and an investment in the part of our anatomy we men love the most.

[October26]

I agree with Merrix.

After 18+ years of ED, I was at my wit's end. When I met with my doctor for the first time last February, and he told me about implants as an option, I was stunned. I couldn't believe no one had ever suggested it before then.

I didn't have to spend much time at all researching before I made my decision. I knew an implant wasn't going to be perfect. But compared to what I'd been dealing with since I was 32, I knew it would be infinitely better.

And so far, I'm right. Physically, I'm 180 degrees different from how I was on the morning of my surgery. I've lived with ED for so long, that I've forgotten what I was like before the implant. I am very happy with the results.

If anyone wants to spend real time researching, it should be on the best surgeon available. Merrix's tag makes that clear. Someone pointed out that you can find ratings on doctors from the implant companies. I would suggest looking at those ratings. I think a good surgeon will do right by any guy.

And I echo Merrix's sentiments. Think of how much better off you will be compared to now, not how you were at 18 or 25. Last night, I fucked my wife for an hour straight. I've never been able to do that before because I met her after the advent of my ED. Consequently, my mood today, and the air between me and my wife, is so much lighter than it would have been in the past. For that reason, too, I don't regret my decision at all.

I could have written this.

[merrix]

Now I have a perfectly straight 18 cm dick that is always hard, which gives me the ability to be the best lover any woman I sleep with has ever had.
It gives me the luxury of only focusing on pleasure. For me and my partner. No worries, no limitations.
I have a dick, which when I am out at some bar/club, I can inflate to whatever level I want in my pants. If I want nobody to see it, fine. If I want a big fucking semi in my pants which girls come up and ask if they can touch - fine. Have it.
I can fuck anyway and anywhere I want. On my back, standing, hanging fucking upside down if I want to. And I can do it anywhere any time, drunk or sober.
All I need is 60 seconds and two free hands. Then I'm ready for anything. Any time. Anywhere-

That is so motivating! I love how your write. Like you probably know, I have been following you for a while. You helped me tremendously in making the decision to get a penile implant and I'll definitely go for the Titan! However, I still want to wait for a while for the following reasons:

-I want to do penis enlargement exercises for at least a year to maximize my size before getting the implant. My current erect length (not bone pressed) is 6.5'' (16.5 cm) and my erect girth is 5.25''. I would love to get to Merrix's size of 7'' in length and 5.5'' in girth. I know penis enlargement exercises are considered dangerous but what do I have to lose? I already have a crappy dick. I'm currently 37 years old and I had a crappy dick all my life. If I can get a porn star dick like Merrix, it will compensate for my previous miserable sex life.

-I am passionate about jiu-jitsu and I know there is no guarantee I'll still be able to ''roll'' after the implant. I need to get this out of my system first. If I'm still able to roll after my implant, it will be great! If not, at least I will have enjoyed myself until my 40s. I'll just replace sports with a much better sex life.

In the meantime, I am still using Caverject which is far from perfect, but good enough for now. It's sad because Caverject could be the best thing in the world for me if it weren't for the ''hinge'' effect. Some people call it the ''swivel'' effect. In other words, my penis gets hard but it is still loose at the base. It makes the experience of intercourse less from ideal. Every once in a while, I will get very hard erection for 5-10 seconds during which my penis doesn't move at the base. The difference is night and day! I can only imagine how incredible it would be if I could stay hard without any hinge effect for 1 hour... Hopefully one day I'll get to experience that!!!

Well, pornstar dick like merrix... not so sure about that. I don't want to make anybody do anything stupid because of what I write here.
Let me clearly state that the measurements I provide for length are bone pressed. If you say that you have 16.5 cm not bone pressed, your dick is bigger than mine was before implant.
I was 16.5 bone pressed. I never tried, but I guess difference between bone pressed or not is 1-2 cm. So you are definitely bigger than me.
Now I am just above 18 cm erect. Bone pressed. That is probably what you are as well.
I never considered myself having a big dick. Although I am apparently larger than most men since I have got comments from several women on my size.
So I think you already have the perfect size, you don't need any larger.
Because it happens now and then that I have to hold back when having sex because it hurts on the other end when pushing to deep.
So maybe larger than 18 cm bone pressed is really more of a curse than a blessing..? Maybe the perfect size is about 17-18 cm bone pressed (around 7")..?

[Echegollen]

Thanks for the clarification Merrix and for making sure we don't do anything stupid.

My problem is that my penis is 6.5'' in length only when full erect which only lasts a few seconds. Most of the time, it is around 5.5'' and 6'', so I never get to really enjoy my true length. I assume that with a penile implant it would be much different...

Nevertheless, I keep fantasizing about having a 7'' boner that can last forever and seeing women's face shocked when looking at it before I destroy their pussy... I know that is very vain, but man would that compensate for my previous miserable sex life!

[merrix]

Got this and thought I'd reply here:

Yo Merrix, how are you?
I want to ask you a question i've got in mind since some days about your situation..

You said that you suffer from VL since you were really young, but reading your posts with much attention you say that even after your implant your glans engorges and you can still feel blood flowing in when you're excited.

Obviously if you had an implant, it means that you couldnt mantain the erections, just like me.. So my question is: how is that possible that your glans engorges and stay engorged, and that you can still "retain" some blood flow in the shaft?

PLEASE NOTE that IM NOT saying that you are a liar, i would never, i'm just curious to know if the implant made your glans more able to "keep" the blood in there. I notice that when i got a full erection, if i keep stimulating really hard, then my glans keeps the blood, but as soon as the shaft begins to get empty, the glans loses the blood.

I wait for your answer, thanks bro!


Yes, I had some form of ED ever since I started to make out with girls at 12 years old. Most likely VL already then, since maintaining erection was the main issue.
Yes, my glans fills up nicely and stays that way as well. It is not 100% perfect, but close to. It is never soft, but maybe not 100% hard all the time. Let us say 90%-95% of what would be perfectly flawless.

Next, I think you are maybe missing the basics here. It is theoretically possible that someone cannot get or maintain an erection, but could still have a perfectly functioning glans. The glans gets its blood supply through the spongiosum, while the shaft gets its blood through the cavernosum. Hence, somebody could theoretically have a crappy cavernosum but a perfectly working spongiosoum. I have no idea how common that is, but I just want to illustrate that those are two separate mechanisms.

In my case, my glans worked better than my shaft back in the ED days. My glans was not great but not at all as bad as my shaft.

But - what you are missing in my story - is my sclerotherapy surgery. Read about it in this thread.
After that surgery, everything worked fantastically well for a few weeks/months. My shaft worked well, but my glans became like an apple - super hard - when having sex.
However, after just a few months the effect of the sclerotherapy vanished. But not proportionally. My cavernosum went back to its old crappy self while my glans improvement was sustained. Not to the extreme level where it was right after surgery, but the remaining long term effect was still a clear improvement over my pre-surgery state.

After implant, my glans function remained at where it was before implant surgery (and after sclerotherapy surgery).
There you have it.