Sex / Intimacy Aversion Pre-Implant (Help pls!)

[defiant]

Help and advice needed!

I’m really struggling, guys.

I’ve had ED that’s been on a downward trajectory for about 13-14 years now. I’m 37 currently.

Recently been through the huge trauma of a break up. I was cheated on. Had just bought us a house too.

I’m done with the pill life and just getting by. I’m tired of the way ED dictates every decision I make in life and how it has forced me into shelter.

Now that I’m alone again, I have profound anxiety and I’ve developed sexual aversion or intimacy aversion as it were. Of course I know I’m going through a trauma right now but the baseline ED has been with me forever basically.

It’s now at the point where I just would not have the confidence - at all - to pursue women. I just cannot rely on my dick and my mind overcomes the pills now.

The anxiety is so extreme I’m getting physical symptoms and the thought of sex just scares me.

Did anyone here have that pre implant?

Were you ever so messed in the head that sex and intimacy became a huge source of distress? Purely stemming from the fact you knew you couldn’t rely on your dick?

And, most importantly, did getting the implant give you your confidence and sex drive back? Did it go some way to fixing your relationship with sex and intimacy?

Thank you!!

[oldbeek]

Just y 2 cents. You need to see a sexual consoler. Do you have a strong sex drive? What is your T level?

[africanman2021]

Hello brother
Hope things get better from here.
Of course, ED can do a number on your confidence and your mental health
We are in a very sexual society and naturally our “manhood” defines the greater part of who we men are. However, know that life goes beyond sex and you are more than your sex life
The above said, if you can get your implant and know that you can have sex as long as you can will bring your confidence level back
Good luck

[Txagq8]

A couple of thoughts from an old guy, Defiant.

1. Quit beating yourself up. Yes, men and women cheat on their spouse or partner. That defines the character of the cheater. It doesn’t define the sexual prowess of the one who was cheated upon.

2. There’s no sin in throwing a few bucks at a clinical psychologist. I’ve done it. It never ceases to amaze me at how much better I feel when I can spill my guts to somebody non-judgmental. Sometimes I’ve even listened to their advice. Most of the time they “cured” me by just letting me vent. Kind of like an enema, but nowhere near as smelly.

3. Implants are great. I love my LGX. But…..it needs to be viewed as the option of last resort. No turning back once they’ve ripped out your corpora cavernosa and replaced it with a prosthesis. Every guy with ED needs to keep in mind that an implant ought to be the fix AFTER everything less invasive has been tried.

4. Try to give up saddling yourself with high expectations and standards. Maybe it was my upbringing, or lengthy Army career, but I realized fairly early that almost nothing in life goes as well as you might hope. Sex is supposed to be fun. Stressing about it in advance definitely diminishes the fun potential.

5. Post implant sex is definitely better for me, but I never let failures give me too much anxiety. I would describe it more as frustration than anxiety. Anxiety by itself can cause ED or make a mild case much worse.

6. You’re just 37. I have kids about your age. So, before you get your plumbing ripped out, address the psychological AND physical situations a bit more conservatively.

[AST2123]

Tangerine has an excellent post on ED effects at:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=17501&p=159142#p159142
Most of men went through such an experience. Sexless relationships face a lot challenges, as it is against human nature.
If you are having the ED issue (unresolved) since many years, don't waste time on pills and remedies that can put more burden on you. just go ahead and get your (successful) implant. You will really put these days behind you and start a new life.

[gene308]

Readthe book "she comes first" bi Ian Kemer 60 percent of women cannot orgasm with just vaginal stimulation. Get the implant for your benefit. Learn about pleasuring women for her benefit

[Lost Sheep]

Help and advice needed!

I’m really struggling, guys.

I’ve had ED that’s been on a downward trajectory for about 13-14 years now. I’m 37 currently.

I felt similarly during my decades of progressively worsening E.D. from my 20s to my late 60s. You are ahead of my trajectory towards recovery.

Recently been through the huge trauma of a break up. I was cheated on. Had just bought us a house too.

I’m done with the pill life and just getting by. I’m tired of the way ED dictates every decision I make in life and how it has forced me into shelter.

How you respond to any situation in life (and ED is NO exception) depends more on your will than on the circumstance.

Now that I’m alone again, I have profound anxiety and I’ve developed sexual aversion or intimacy aversion as it were. Of course I know I’m going through a trauma right now but the baseline ED has been with me forever basically.

It’s now at the point where I just would not have the confidence - at all - to pursue women. I just cannot rely on my dick and my mind overcomes the pills now.

The anxiety is so extreme I’m getting physical symptoms and the thought of sex just scares me.

Did anyone here have that pre implant?

I was fortunate enough to not recognize that I had a medical condition. So, I just carried on regardless. I learned to use other means to satisfy my sexual partners.

Were you ever so messed in the head that sex and intimacy became a huge source of distress? Purely stemming from the fact you knew you couldn’t rely on your dick?

As my erections became increasingly unreliaable, I learned to please women sensually in non-sexual ways (e.g. massage, brushing hair, etc), to kiss better and to use fingers, tongue and toys to good effect. I also found that levelling with potential sexual partners ("My penis does not work as well as it should but I will make every effort to make sure you are satisfied.")

And, most importantly, did getting the implant give you your confidence and sex drive back? Did it go some way to fixing your relationship with sex and intimacy?

Confidence in my erection took a few years to return. But I am much better now.

I will repeat. Women are incredibly supportive if they feel desired, trusted, respected and safe. Be honest. Women respect a man who admits his faults and shortcomings if that admission is accompanied with real efforts to overcome them. Women do not respect a man in denial.

[ViaSwiss]

I post about this in my thread. ED causes you to fear being intimate due to fear of failure. It also causes you to be codependent on the person you are dating. In every sense ED takes away your masculinity. I am 4-5 months out from my implant and it has revolutionized my mentality. I flirt for fun like crazy now, because I know I can have sex in any moment and not fail. As great as it has been for my sex life, its been even better for my emotional life. I do have a revision tomorrow, but its due to floppy glans. I'd have this operation every 2 years if required.

[LuisFernandez]

yes absolutely, it's a big problem. i'm personally on injections. i usually just inject before sex and it works fine for casual dating. but recently met a cool girl i want to make my gf. and i just made up some excuse to leave in the morning when she wanted to spend the day together. i just wasn't prepared for that in terms of injections and frankly i hate injecting at night and then in the morning, it hurts.

[frwmw1]

I'd have this operation every 2 years if required.

Ha ha that's great, you've got a good attitude, ViaSwiss.