2 Years Post-Implant, 36 Years Old, No Sexual Desire, Married, and Running Out of Answers

[Annon101]

Hey guys,

I’m posting again because nothing has really changed, and if I’m being honest, this is starting to weigh on me more than ever. I don’t really know how else to say it except that I’m struggling and I don’t know where to turn anymore.

I’m 36 now. I had my implant surgery two years ago when I was 34.

The surgery did ultimately work, but I want to be upfront about something that I didn’t fully explain before. While the end result is mechanically fine, it was not an easy surgery. My surgeon is very experienced and later told me it was one of the most difficult cases he’d done, to the point where he almost gave up during the operation. Despite that, the implant itself works as it should. Erections are there. Sex is physically possible. I can orgasm and ejaculate, and orgasms are still pleasurable. I’ve lost some sensitivity at the base, but I honestly don’t believe that alone explains what I’m dealing with.

The real problem is not physical. It’s desire.

I have no sexual desire at all. No craving. No urge. No horniness.

Before surgery, I was the complete opposite. Even though my dick didn’t fully work back then, I still had sex often. Sex and masturbation were constantly on my mind. I fantasized a lot. I had that very primal male urge, that raw wanting feeling where you just want to tear someone’s clothes off and have sex on the spot. That hunger was always there in the background. It felt natural and automatic. – That’s the exact feeling I miss!

After surgery, that part of me just shut off. Not slowly. Not over time. It was like a switch flipped.

Since then, I don’t really think about sex anymore. I don’t crave it. I don’t get that instinctive, animal urge that I used to have. Sex doesn’t pull at me mentally or physically. I can go long stretches without it, and it barely registers in my head. That is completely foreign to the person I used to be.

I got married after my surgery to a wonderful woman. She’s conventionally attractive, very sexual, and she wants sex. She’s patient and supportive, but this is starting to affect our marriage in ways that are hard to ignore. I carry a lot of guilt because she deserves not just a functioning body, but desire, passion, and energy, and I don’t feel like I’m giving her that.

Just so this doesn’t get misunderstood, I want to be clear about what this is not:
• It’s not erectile dysfunction,
• It’s not an inability to orgasm,
• It’s not a lack of attraction,
• It’s not just stress or a temporary rough patch

I say that last one confidently because I’ve tested it. I’ve taken multiple long breaks from work, including two separate two-month holidays where I was completely removed from stress. During those times, my wife and I traveled and relaxed in places like Thailand and the Philippines. Even then, the desire never came back. Not once.

I’m currently on bupropion, not an SSRI. I was told it shouldn’t hurt my libido and might even help. In my case, it hasn’t helped at all. If anything, I feel more emotionally numb now than I did before. I don’t really feel the antidepressant doing anything really, and my sexual desire is still completely absent.

I’ve seen doctors and had bloodwork done. At one point my testosterone was low, so I was prescribed medication to stimulate my body’s own testosterone production. My levels are now considered normal on paper. According to the numbers, everything should be fine.

But I don’t feel fine.

I’ve read posts here and elsewhere where men say their testosterone levels looked normal, yet TRT completely changed things for them and brought their desire back. That’s where my head is now. I’m seriously considering TRT, but I honestly don’t know if it will help or if I’m just grasping at the last thing left to try.

Another complication is that I currently live in China as a foreigner. I do have access to foreign doctors here, but I trust the medical professionals in my home country far more when it comes to things like depression, ED, and sexual health. There’s still a lot of stigma here, and a strong push toward traditional Chinese medicine, which I personally don’t trust for this specific issue. Because of that, I usually only make medication changes when I go home once or twice a year, which makes progress slow and frustrating.

What’s hardest mentally is the growing feeling that I’m broken. Two years is a long time. I’ve tried patience. I’ve tried therapy, and I’m still in therapy. We’ve done couples counselling. I’ve taken medication. I’ve had tests done. I’ve tried to be proactive instead of just waiting and hoping.

And I’m still here, waking up every day without sexual desire.

When I read through this forum, I see many success stories. Guys are talking about amazing sex lives after their implants. I’m genuinely happy for them, but I don’t see stories like mine. Honestly, I don’t see anyone describing anything remotely like what I’m going through, and that makes me feel incredibly isolated. I feel very alone.

So I’m asking directly, man to man:
• Has anyone here completely lost sexual desire after an implant?
• Has anyone lost that primal urge for sex, not just erections?
• Did TRT help even when bloodwork looked normal?
• Did antidepressants help or make things worse?
• Did desire ever come back after years, not just months?

I’m not really looking for generic encouragement or surface-level advice. I’m looking for real experiences, even if they’re uncomfortable or not hopeful. I am being very vulnerable right now.

I am desperate, but I haven’t given up. I still want to believe there’s a way forward. Right now though, I feel lost, alone, and scared about what this means for my future and my marriage.

If anyone out there has been through something similar or has insight that might help, I’d really appreciate hearing from you. Even just knowing I’m not the only one would mean something.

Thanks for reading.

[Mark1974]

I had an implant for two months and felt just like this.

After two months and two days I had the implant removed. Now my penis is completely crippled, but my sex drive feels much more normal. It feels like a normal sex drive ( for a 51 year old male), but with an injured penis.

My biggest challenge right now is continued nerve regeneration from the sub-coronal incisions. I had a malleable, so I had sub-coronal incisions to both put in and take out the implant. The nerves continue to get better, but they will never be 100%.

The implant was, by far, the worst decision of my life. And even though having a permanently crippled and injured penis is horrible, I don't regret taking it out for a second.

[Kodixx]

Annon101, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. And good for you for working so hard to find a path. I haven't been thru exactly what you've been thru -- but there is a parallel in the ED space. A lot of guys experience a drop in desire due to the crippling mental effects of ED. During those times frustration, disappointment, and loss of confidence can eat away at the raw desire most guys have. I had a really rough recovery, and even that experience hurt the feeling of desire. I think that life experiences like those may create a situation where the brain needs to rewire itself to get back to what you think of as your 'normal' levels of desire.

So from that perspective I offer the following based on experience :
- #1, focus on your wife. Train yourself to interpret her pleasure as your own, knowing that taking care of her benefits both of you.
- Since your sensation and ability to orgasm are mostly in tact, use that to create a reward system for #1 above. Limit it to #1 above. That will in a short time increase your desire and anticipation for sex with your wife.
- Remember many women have to experience arousal before they experience desire. We all know that from high school So accept for now that you may be experiencing some of that, especially since your orgasms are very fortunately in tact.
- Also give yourself a break knowing that some medications can diminish sexual desire, even if things work well once you get started.
- Be creative with your wife during sex. Additional dimensions and experiences help expand your own horizons and anticipation for sex.
- I have been a big fan of PT-141 to encourage libido. For some guys its a game changer. Other guys, little or no effect. The challenge is that effective dosages vary a lot.
- THC/CBD are like PT-141. It takes some experimentation to figure out effective dosages.
- Your T is 'normal', but talk with your Dr about testing TRT (and/or other medication treatments) to see if raising it would help.

Best wishes !

- Chuck

I’m not really looking for generic encouragement or surface-level advice. I’m looking for real experiences, even if they’re uncomfortable or not hopeful. I am desperate, but I haven’t given up. I still want to believe there’s a way forward. Right now though, I feel lost, alone, and scared about what this means for my future and my marriage.

[newhope]

Hey anon, other than TRT since you have the implant you know you can have sex at the press of the bulb, no ?
When your wife is in the mood just pump and have the sex.

Yes it will feel a bit mechanical to you, but if your wife needs it i would do