New Member Question

[AlmostFifty]

I’m 49 and I am considering having 3 piece implant procedure from a high volume surgeon. I have taken sildenafil with varying degrees of success over the past several years. My sex life with my wife is nonexistent… I can jack it to porn fairly normally but if I stop I lose my erection quickly. Sex is full of stress for me and I am not sure how much of this is in my head. Kaiser will not order me the penile ultrasound to verify veinous leakage as they tell me the options are shots or prosthesis.

If I wasn’t married I don’t know that I would go through with this at 49…. My wife is 8 years younger than me…

Anyway… if any of you have been in a similar place and gone through with the implant I would love to hear your experience and if you think this would be a positive next step for me or if I am missing something…

Thankful for this community chat!

[Kimball]

I’m 49 and I am considering having 3 piece implant procedure from a high volume surgeon. I have taken sildenafil with varying degrees of success over the past several years. My sex life with my wife is nonexistent… I can jack it to porn fairly normally but if I stop I lose my erection quickly. Sex is full of stress for me and I am not sure how much of this is in my head. Kaiser will not order me the penile ultrasound to verify veinous leakage as they tell me the options are shots or prosthesis.

If I wasn’t married I don’t know that I would go through with this at 49…. My wife is 8 years younger than me…

Anyway… if any of you have been in a similar place and gone through with the implant I would love to hear your experience and if you think this would be a positive next step for me or if I am missing something…

Thankful for this community chat!

No, I have not had an implant and yes, you are missing something if you have not tried a tension band to keep your erection from going soft.

[Flounder]

I’m 49…….
My sex life with my wife is nonexistent…
Sex is full of stress for me and I am not sure how much of this is in my head…..
If I wasn’t married I don’t know that I would go through with this at 49…. My wife is 8 years younger than me…
Anyway… if any of you have been in a similar place and gone through with the implant I would love to hear your experience and if you think this would be a positive next step for me or if I am missing something…

I have no experience with Kaiser healthcare so I’ll only comment on the points I carved out above from your full post.

First, age 49 is a far too young to settle for a sexless marriage in my opinion. Especially with a 41 yrs young wife. Multiple studies suggest the best, most satisfying sex and orgasm frequency for women occurs in their late 30s and 40s. And for men it’s humiliating and depressing, at any age, knowing we’re the weakest link in the bedroom and can’t satisfy her.

The mantra here on FT has long been; Get the implant for yourself. For your own confidence and self esteem. Hopefully your wife will benefit and it rejuvenates a spark in the marriage. And it’s not wrong to get it for the team. But if ED is getting in your head, you first owe it to yourself to rid that weight from your mind.

Maybe you don’t go straight to the implant. Injections are a reasonable middle step when PDE5 pills stop working. Just don’t do nothing because ED never gets better on its own. It just keeps wearing you down mentally. And in my experience, no good comes from that.