PENILE IMPLANT DUE PSYCOLOGICAL ISSUE

[M123987]

Good evening, everyone. I’m 28 years old and don’t have any physical problems with my erections. The problem with my erections is psychological. It’s been this way for years. For as long as I can remember, in order to have sex, I’ve had to take a pill to help me feel more relaxed. Over the last 2–3 years, however, even those pills sometimes aren’t enough to overcome the anxiety I feel, so they don’t work. And as I get older, it’s harder for me to take my mind off it, so even though I don’t want to, I end up avoiding flirting as much as I’d like to, because I’m thinking about the failure that will happen in bed. Despite all this, I have normal erections—in my sleep, when I’m alone—no problem there. I started thinking about getting a penile implant after watching a random video online. So I started weighing the pros and cons of this procedure if I were to go through with it. The upside is definitely that my performance anxiety would be over. I’d be able to have sex whenever I want, as much as I want, wherever I want. It’s a very tempting thought. But I’ve also come up with quite a few downsides.

(1) The doctor I spoke with told me about “cycling.” After the first few weeks, I should activate it for one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening. He emphasized that it would be good for me to do this for a year. And after that, he says it’s good to keep doing it indefinitely, even if less frequently. I see this as a major commitment, especially if there are women and children at home at any given time. I won’t even be able to lock myself in my room for as long as I have it turned on. Nor do I want to walk around with the device turned on inside the house as if nothing were happening. I should also note that I don’t want my wife to know anything about this. Also, as far as cycling is concerned, if I stop doing it or don't engage in it for a long time, or if I don't have sex for a long period of time for whatever reason, the penis might start to shrink due to lack of exercise.

(2) Another thing the doctor told me is that perhaps a shrewd woman, if she were to examine my genitals during intercourse, she might notice that there’s an extra lump there, plus during the summer months when the testicles hang lower, something might be visible there again.

(3) Another downside is the fear that either the implant or the tubes might get injured, because I’ve always been physically active. I do all kinds of intense activities—running, cycling, hiking, kickboxing, and going to the gym. So I’ll always be worried that something might get injured, and I’ll have to go through the whole surgery process again to replace whatever got damaged. So, that means extra money, an extra post-operative recovery period, plus—if there’s a woman at home—I’ll have to find a way to justify it: where I’m going, what’s wrong with me, or why I can’t function sexually, since my erections will now depend entirely on the prosthesis. My penis will no longer function on its own.

(4) Another thing that worries me is that if I have the surgery, I’ve found the doctor who will perform it. But since I want to be prepared now, in case my condition worsens years from now, it’s very likely that this particular doctor might no longer be performing surgery. So I’ll need to be able to find, in a short amount of time—since my penis will stop functioning and I’ll have a wife at home—an equally skilled doctor with the knowledge and experience to perform the replacement.

(5) Another thing I’m thinking about is that I’ll stop getting spontaneous erections when my girlfriend kisses me or hugs me. Because I do get those erections. So if they disappear with the prosthesis, I’m afraid it might affect me a little negatively—the thought that my penis no longer works without the prosthesis.

(6) One doctor also told me that the glans will stop getting erect, while another told me that it will get erect on its own if it did before, but only when there’s sexual stimulation.

(7) Another thing that confuses me is how long this implant lasts. How many years does it last before it stops working? It would really help me—besides those who want to comment, chat with me, or offer advice—if people who had implants put in years ago and have since had them replaced could also share their experiences, so I can get a rough idea of how long they last. In general, I’d like to talk to a lot of people; it might help me reach a decision, because right now I’m stuck in the middle and don’t know what to do.

As you can imagine, this is really bothering me. I’m torn between whether I should get the implant despite all the negatives mentioned above, or not get it and just let my sex life be as it is, hoping that maybe one day it will get better.
I should also mention that I went to see a psychoanalyst years ago about this issue—the anxiety around sex, I mean. I didn’t see any improvement, even though I went for quite a while.
I hope you’ll read the entire text—even though it’s long—because it’s a big part of my life. I’d like to hear from as many of you as possible, especially those who’ve had this issue for many years and have managed to overcome it. I’d also like to talk to young people, like me, who got the implant even though their erections used to work normally—just not when they needed them.