PENILE IMPLANT DUE PSYCOLOGICAL ISSUE

[M123987]

Good evening, everyone. I’m 28 years old and don’t have any physical problems with my erections. The problem with my erections is psychological. It’s been this way for years. For as long as I can remember, in order to have sex, I’ve had to take a pill to help me feel more relaxed. Over the last 2–3 years, however, even those pills sometimes aren’t enough to overcome the anxiety I feel, so they don’t work. And as I get older, it’s harder for me to take my mind off it, so even though I don’t want to, I end up avoiding flirting as much as I’d like to, because I’m thinking about the failure that will happen in bed. Despite all this, I have normal erections—in my sleep, when I’m alone—no problem there. I started thinking about getting a penile implant after watching a random video online. So I started weighing the pros and cons of this procedure if I were to go through with it. The upside is definitely that my performance anxiety would be over. I’d be able to have sex whenever I want, as much as I want, wherever I want. It’s a very tempting thought. But I’ve also come up with quite a few downsides.

(1) The doctor I spoke with told me about “cycling.” After the first few weeks, I should activate it for one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening. He emphasized that it would be good for me to do this for a year. And after that, he says it’s good to keep doing it indefinitely, even if less frequently. I see this as a major commitment, especially if there are women and children at home at any given time. I won’t even be able to lock myself in my room for as long as I have it turned on. Nor do I want to walk around with the device turned on inside the house as if nothing were happening. I should also note that I don’t want my wife to know anything about this. Also, as far as cycling is concerned, if I stop doing it or don't engage in it for a long time, or if I don't have sex for a long period of time for whatever reason, the penis might start to shrink due to lack of exercise.

(2) Another thing the doctor told me is that perhaps a shrewd woman, if she were to examine my genitals during intercourse, she might notice that there’s an extra lump there, plus during the summer months when the testicles hang lower, something might be visible there again.

(3) Another downside is the fear that either the implant or the tubes might get injured, because I’ve always been physically active. I do all kinds of intense activities—running, cycling, hiking, kickboxing, and going to the gym. So I’ll always be worried that something might get injured, and I’ll have to go through the whole surgery process again to replace whatever got damaged. So, that means extra money, an extra post-operative recovery period, plus—if there’s a woman at home—I’ll have to find a way to justify it: where I’m going, what’s wrong with me, or why I can’t function sexually, since my erections will now depend entirely on the prosthesis. My penis will no longer function on its own.

(4) Another thing that worries me is that if I have the surgery, I’ve found the doctor who will perform it. But since I want to be prepared now, in case my condition worsens years from now, it’s very likely that this particular doctor might no longer be performing surgery. So I’ll need to be able to find, in a short amount of time—since my penis will stop functioning and I’ll have a wife at home—an equally skilled doctor with the knowledge and experience to perform the replacement.

(5) Another thing I’m thinking about is that I’ll stop getting spontaneous erections when my girlfriend kisses me or hugs me. Because I do get those erections. So if they disappear with the prosthesis, I’m afraid it might affect me a little negatively—the thought that my penis no longer works without the prosthesis.

(6) One doctor also told me that the glans will stop getting erect, while another told me that it will get erect on its own if it did before, but only when there’s sexual stimulation.

(7) Another thing that confuses me is how long this implant lasts. How many years does it last before it stops working? It would really help me—besides those who want to comment, chat with me, or offer advice—if people who had implants put in years ago and have since had them replaced could also share their experiences, so I can get a rough idea of how long they last. In general, I’d like to talk to a lot of people; it might help me reach a decision, because right now I’m stuck in the middle and don’t know what to do.

As you can imagine, this is really bothering me. I’m torn between whether I should get the implant despite all the negatives mentioned above, or not get it and just let my sex life be as it is, hoping that maybe one day it will get better.
I should also mention that I went to see a psychoanalyst years ago about this issue—the anxiety around sex, I mean. I didn’t see any improvement, even though I went for quite a while.
I hope you’ll read the entire text—even though it’s long—because it’s a big part of my life. I’d like to hear from as many of you as possible, especially those who’ve had this issue for many years and have managed to overcome it. I’d also like to talk to young people, like me, who got the implant even though their erections used to work normally—just not when they needed them.

[CowtownSlim]

Probably not wise to do a surgical procedure for a psychological issue. There are other approaches that will give persistent erections without surgery, including vacuum erection devices or Trimix injections. Not sure how frequently those are used with psychological ED, but involve no incisions, foreign bodies, or significant infection risk. Trimix will work at low dose for a young person with no vascular problems, if your doctor thinks it appropriate to prescribe. You need a patient, thoughtful urologist and not a mere proceduralist. A therapist who specializes in sexual issues might be more helpful than a generic one. The most helpful will be a sympathetic partner who moves you beyond self evaluation, but hard to prescribe that.

[GoodWood]

You are overthinking this. Slow down. Read through the different FrankTalk posts going back months. Search for posts that relate to questions you have.

FrankTalk has been here for years and every question you can think of has been answered here numerous times.


Figuring out if ED is psychological or physical is tricky. They relate to one another and can reinforces one another as well. LOTS of guys with physiological ED are told it’s all in their heads (psychological) because disgnosing venous leak or arterial insufficiency can be challenging.

If you get rock hard, reliable erections when you are alone from thinking about what turns you on (without manually touching/stroking yourself) and yet can’t get an erection when you are in that same turn-on situation with another person it might be psychological and not physiological.

But ED isn’t always like a light switch. Sometimes guys can get an erection by masturbating (which is intensely pleasurable and you know EXACTLY what feels best and you can maintain that high level of stimulation CONTINUOUSLY) but when they are with another person (physical stimulation not continuous and intense) and they don’t have a good erection and they think it’s psychological. But it’s just that they have a significant degree of ED. ED that is physical and real but can be overcome by intense pleasurable stimulation.

But the solution is the same regardless of the cause. Try pills first. Then try shots. If none of that works, get an implant.

Cycling isn’t a problem. After the initial few months you can cycle in the shower for a couple minutes as you get cleaned up for the day and that is enough. It’s not a big task.
Implants generally last a long time. They are built to take a beating, literally.
When you need an implant (or a revision) you’ll be able to find a great surgeon to do it.
Someone might be able to detect that you have an implant if they are playing with your balls. But who cares? They are playing with your balls (nice!) and you are able to satisfy them sexually. You can stay as hard as you want, as long as you want, whenever you want. It’s a bit like a superpower. And if someone would break up with you over that they weren’t worth having around anyway. (And would have likely broken up with you for having untreated ED).

So find a good urologist who is experienced with treating ED. NOT just enlarged prostates and kidney stones. (Treating sexual dysfunction is a bit of a specialty. Not all urologists will be good at it.) and find a solution that works for you.

[Nocturne]

Wow, I feel for you man. My ED is 11 years old and is some mix of physical and psychological. Started one night when my wife got drunk and wanted to fuck despite having a heavy period - I was not into it and should have said no. But I didn’t and amidst all the worry about blood on the sheets in our hotel bed, I lost it in short order and freaked out, unable to get hard for the rest of our trip. I thought I was suddenly, abruptly “all washed up” at 41. Had never happened before in my life.
It took a long time. Hormones were probably an issue - my T was “near castrate” level. That was rectified but still the anxiety remained. Cialis helped, I’m sure, but it doesn’t really trump your mind when you have anxiety. I got pretty functional within a year or so, but the anxiety haunted me until maybe the five year mark when I started to feel more confident, although it was never back to the old confidence I used to have. Vacations and hotels were particular bugbears.
About a year ago I had a sort of relapse (in a hotel on vacation) and have been dealing with more intense anxiety ever since. Started using Trimix which has helped a lot with ensuring success but the anxiety is still bad until after I inject, and I can’t reliably inject well until I am at least fairly stiff, so that can be an issue. Last time I got it into my head that I might not be able to get hard enough to inject, and sure enough, dead dick even with her taking me into her mouth. We eventually worked around it and had good sex but the process of getting there can be a psychological ordeal. So I can see your desire for an implant, because an implant would be THE END of all of that shit. And I too am feeling pretty DONE with it - with my mind sabotaging my sex life and twisting sex into something stressful and scary.
Deep down inside I know I’ll never get back to feeling like myself again until after I get the implant. But I’m only 53 and the Trimix is working well, once I inject. I don’t *need* the implant yet - but a big part of me really wishes I did.
A lot of what you talk about will be alleviated if and when you find a good woman who you can trust and have a relationship with. My wife has been wonderful through all of this awful shit. It’s honestly made me love and appreciate her all the more. She could have destroyed me psychologically if she had wanted to, just crushed me utterly, and she didn’t. I trust her. And once you have that, being open and honest about pills, injections, and whatever is not as big a deal as it otherwise would be. I understand that you are young and probably still dating, so this might not help you right now, but times change. For now I’d suggest just being open and honest with the women you are with; the good ones are not going to hold it against you and might even be refreshed by your openness and honesty. Of course they’re not all “good ones” but in the long haul the ones who cue you in to not being good partners early on are doing you a favor (although I get not wanting to miss out on hot sex in the moment).
Have you tried therapy? It can supposedly help. Are you seeing a men’s health doctor? There are many options before the implant is needed, although again I get the desire to just skip ahead to the thing that lets you just get your life back.

[AussieGuy81]

Hey mate,
There's heaps of good advice here so I can't really add much but I'm also in the process for getting an implant too for very similar reasons. I've always felt my ED is Psychological but after doing a lot of reading in this forum I've realised it rarely is 100% psychological, it's often a mixture of psychological and physiological. The truth is most of us never really truly know and I'm not sure it matters anymore because the treatment is the same anyway.
You said you've been taking pills, that in itself means your body has somewhat adapted to needing them now so that is now a physiological/psychological situation.
Look up a guy called 'Sharay Hayes penile implant' on YouTube, he got an implant for 100% psychological ED.
You said you want to get the implant without your wife knowing, man I don't see how that's possible. She'll be devastated when she realises you went out and had surgery without telling her, you'll probably have to come up with a bunch of lies to pull it off, it's not worth it. Just be honest with her, it's your dick, you can do what you want with it.

[1984ptc]

I just got implanted this year. I cycle when i wake up, keep it up for like 20-30 mins while i drink my preworkout, do my mini morning routine while the kids are asleep (young kids). Head to the gym, lift heavy. Go back home, cycle again as i shower (another 20 mins ish). Use the bathmate while showering. Go to work. I cycle in the evening while watching tv with the wife when the kids are asleep. Do this for an hour. Perfect prelude before sex. Repeat.

Ive regained size. Back to 7.25 inches bpel. 6.25 inches girth. 4 months out.

Love my implant. Shoot me a pm if you have questions.

[duke_cicero]

I'd say get the implant, but tell your wife. Not worth keeping the secret from someone who should, in theory, know everything about you and trust you implicitly.

[M123987]

Thank you to everyone who responded. I’d like to clarify a few things. From the very beginning of my sexual experience, since I couldn’t achieve the erection I wanted, I took pills. I tried these, and for a while they worked, especially when I had a partner with whom I had a good, understanding relationship. She didn’t know I was taking pills, but it put me at ease knowing she was a good person. It’s just that lately, anxiety has been getting the better of the pills. Especially when there’s a new woman in my life, and it’s not possible to find a woman who’s understanding—it’s out of my control, and I can’t base my success on another person. I wouldn’t want to try injections, because they aren’t very convenient. Carrying needles around with me and injecting myself before every sexual encounter… Also, I’m not married; I just included the idea of a woman in the text as a possible future scenario. Because if I get the implant, I won’t be able to practice “cycling” in the future if I find a woman and she’s at home—I’d have to do it when she’s away, if that’s even possible. Also, if anyone would like to, I’d be happy to chat with them on another app for a more relaxed conversation at that time. If anyone’s interested, I can share my name on Facebook.

[indeed]

Mate if you don't have devastating physiological ED, an implant at 28 is a very bad idea in my opinion.
I know now all you have on your mind right now is wanting not having to worry about your erections and the implant seems like an easy solution, but it's not at such a young age.
An implant is the absolute last resort.

If you can still have decent sex some of the time, don't do it. Try everything elese under the sun first. Everything. You haven't even tried injections yet. Have your tried PT 141? Have you tried different sexual therapists? Have you tried not watching porn and not jerking off? Have you tried everything you can to lower your anxiety? Have you tried all different types of pills and their brands and combinations?

I can tell you that i'd happily exchange the inconvenience of having to inject and carry that stuff around for the worry about future revisions, insane costs and other worries about implant problems. Also, i know many people here say the implant feels exactly the same as natural, but in my experience it does not. It is still good, but imo it's not close to before.

Not trying to discourage you, implant is a decent solution if nothing else works, but not before imo. Don't let your emotions now get you do do an irrational decision.

Good luck