Implanted at 38 and concerned about size & revision

[moetheman]

Okay, it's Day 41. I had the worst evening / night last night. I felt absolutely dreadful about the size loss and was obesessing the whole night about how my life is ruined. I was despairing and imagining worst possible scenarios. My head was continuously spinning, it was awful. This morning I was reading harddrive's posts about multiple surgeries and how much he went through and I felt that I was complaining too much given that my recovery isn't complete and I've only just started daily cycling.

Talking about cycling, I was also dreading having to cycle the implant this morning. The thought of having to look at a small dick pumped up. However I got up and inflated first thing this morning. I was able to pump a little bit more and I'm sure the pump feels ever so slightly softer. There was a bit of discomfort but not much. The only thing that happens is that the head of the penis really shrinks due to the discomfort making the size look smaller than it should.

As the pain wasn't too bad, I decided to masturbate and see what happens. Decided to watch a video and in anticipation, the head swelled up quite a bit. I used a fleshlight which I bought after the surgery (mainly to practice as I'm living by myself currently). The whole penis looked huge whilst using the fleshlight. I've always had really good girth and the amazing thing was that the front half of the penis was so engorged. I'm sure it was a 1/4" longer today and looked totally different when aroused. I actually looked in the mirror and it didn't look too bad. One thing that I finally realised was that the erection is now dependable and always there (even though it may not be perfect but it's consistent).

The whole process has been filled with ups and downs but overall I think I'm headed in the right direction. Setbacks are sometimes inevitable but I'm looking forward to full recovery (especially the psychological part caused by years of ED). The brain has got a lot of unlearning to do

[billylee]

W,
Mine is centered in scrotum and just in front of "twins"...mush like clover leaf. I can move it around if need, but must be cautious to keep tubes from kinking, other than that i can make it for ease of use with right hand or left. I do believe this is one particular expertise of Dr. Morey, not to say other do not do as well, but we read where many times a few FT posters do have little movement in scrotum.

FYI, pump will make scrotum appear, using your imagination, seem more frontal. Hope that makes sense to you. This "frontal push" , at least in my case, this positions penis a little forward when relaxed and out of underwear. not a bad thing at all, but can make penis have a bent appearance until a couple of pumps are applied.

b

[Cooper2008]

Thank you for your response and notes of encouragement. The loss of size has been an adjustment especially from 9inches in length. But I am moving on and worry less about this I have no control over. It is disturbing and distressing to hear that tubing from the implant his protruded on from the penis for some recipients. Is this due to infection or an isolated instance?

[Cooper2008]

Is squeezing the penis to deflate the prosthetic a bit difficult for anyone else? I noted this when I did not feel the pop in the pump during inflation. I had to depress the button on the pump and squeeze the shaft hard to ensure the gel returned to the pocket. One it was fully deflated I was again able to inflate again. A true trial and error. My urologist gave me a practice device to play with. Dr. Jones, here in San Antonio, TX has been helpful and encouraging.

[moetheman]

I have a question related to reservoir placement. Mine is actually placed on the right side of the pubic area, kind of very close to base of the penis. It extends diagonally upwards towards the right leg and stops just before where one would wear their belt. Has anyone else had a reservoir placement such as this? One concern is aesthetics as there is a visible bump, though spread out, on the right side of the pubic area. Should I be concerned?

[merrix]

Based on your description, it sounds about same as for me, only mine is on the left side.
My doctor, Eid, says it's right where he wanted it.
I thought, for some reason, it'd be sitting higher, but he says this is where he always places them unless the patient has some specific condition which requires a different placement.
I am only 17 days from surgery, so I still have some swelling which will go away with time. But as of today I can notice a slight difference on my left and right side as well. Don't know how much of that difference will remain - if any - but I don't care. Nobody will notice.

I don't think you need to worry. But if you do, ask a knowledgeable doctor...

[moetheman]

T'hanks merrix, I thought I was the odd one and no one else had it placed there. However if Eid has done it then I have no issues with mine whatsoever

You're right it does get better with time. Initially it was highly uncomfortable and swollen, and wearing trousers with belts felt uncomfortable and kind of bumpy. It has settled down a lot since then. In the beginning my concern was that what If I accidentally apply too much pressure on the reservoir while sleeping etc, or from doing weights in future, what would happen? However now it feels much more a part of me and I can't really feel it anymore. Plus, I'm sure these things are built to withstand a lot of pressure.

[moetheman]

Is squeezing the penis to deflate the prosthetic a bit difficult for anyone else? I noted this when I did not feel the pop in the pump during inflation. I had to depress the button on the pump and squeeze the shaft hard to ensure the gel returned to the pocket. One it was fully deflated I was again able to inflate again. A true trial and error. My urologist gave me a practice device to play with. Dr. Jones, here in San Antonio, TX has been helpful and encouraging.

I have to say deflation is very easy now, though I've only started learning how to use it. The first couple of times I found it so difficult to locate the deflate button and I had to google for images and then feel my way. I was so anxious that I wouldn't be able to deflate but luckily I managed. Now it's pretty easy but the bit I'm trying to learn is how to inflate properly. I can inflate until I can't squeeze the pump no more, but not sure if this is the absolute limit or whether one can yet pump some more? I don't feel any pain with pumping so perhaps I'm not pumping enough? Maybe there is no more fluid left to pump?

[merrix]

Well I am not there yet - where I can pump full without pain.
But I have asked Eid a lot of questions about this...
Regarding how to know when cylinders are full, and whether there is any risk of 'overinflating', he said that I will notice when it's full. It simply won't be possible to pump anymore. Not because the reservoir is empty - he said he always fill the reservoir with slightly more fluid than the cylinders can take - but because of the pressure. The pump will simply be impossible to press. He said I will definitely notice.

I guess that's where you are at...

[moetheman]

Yes looks like I'm at that point, probably a lot sooner than I expected. I think the pain is meant to be a good indicator for stretching and size gain, though I'm sure the cylinders will continue to expand a bit so it may be possible for more gains in the coming weeks / months (hopefully).

Eid sounds like a great guy, giving so much of his time to make himself available to patients. I have to say my Urologist has been pretty good too and though I've doubted every aspect since the op, a lot of the issues that I thought were there are not present. I'm just keeping fingers crossed about the size issue as that's my only remaining concern (though it's not as bad as I originally thought).