My Journal

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
Tenk11
Posts: 78
Joined: Sat Dec 24, 2016 7:12 pm

Re: 15 months update and conclusions

Postby Tenk11 » Wed Mar 22, 2017 4:34 am

merrix wrote:Long post...


Great write-up, Merrix. I finally decided to become a bionic brother a day or two ago, also thinking I wanted to go with a Titan. I've known about the implant for years, though, but no regrets, I had ample time to try the other stuff and they just weren't dependable, for me.

A long post but absolutely worth reading, thanks for that.
36 years old. Coloplast Titan OTR implanted on 6/1/2017 infrapubically. 20 cm cylinders (no rear tip extenders) with a 125 ml reservoir. So far so good!

AVL_UK
Posts: 38
Joined: Sun Nov 15, 2015 9:33 am

Re: My Journal

Postby AVL_UK » Wed Mar 22, 2017 7:02 am

I second the very informative post, thank you for taking the time to write everything down. Your meticulous nature proves very helpful and is something I would do myself when the time comes, as well as re-reading this whole journal.
31 / VL

archway
Posts: 114
Joined: Mon Aug 10, 2015 11:40 am

Re: My Journal

Postby archway » Wed Mar 22, 2017 5:34 pm

Hi Merrix: I am 2 yrs and 1 month post op by Dr Eid . 22 cm with 1 1cm RTE on the right cylinder. Very satisfied with his work and no problems. I can pump rock hard 40-45 pumps, and do so maybe once a week just to keep things inflated to the max between regular use of 2-3 times /week. Over the past six months, my wife and agree for us 18-20 pumps is optimal. When the implant was new I believed the harder the better was the way to go. As the implant has become more pliable, we see very little difference in length, and a lot better and more natural feel with a few less pumps. In the beginning, my wife at times had to ask me to deflate somewhat because it was way too stiff and uncomfortable. For me, my sensitivity is way better at about 20 pumps. Pumped to the max, erection is 6.25, and at 18-20 length is 6 in, and at 20 pups I notice better glans engorgement. I'll probably always max it out just as a personal challenge.... I guess it's a guy thing to see how hard I can get. Anyway, just some thoughts from and old guy of 64.
Archway 64 years old married 43 yrs
Venous Leak 15 + years Tried everything to no avail
2/2015 Titan 22cm RT 1cm R RTE
Dr Eid NY NY

alibaba
Posts: 3027
Joined: Sun Oct 12, 2014 8:04 pm

Re: My Journal

Postby alibaba » Thu Mar 23, 2017 12:06 am

archway, thank you for a candid informative post.

merrix, your post sounds like you are writing your final chapter. The last chorus of your song. If it is, I want to thank you for friendship and stewardship in trying to give fact based and honest information in your posts. Wish you well buddy. Hope this is not the last we ever hear from you but if it is, thank you sir.
Your post about tip extenders means more now than it ever did now that I have 1.5 cm tip extenders. I always had the feeling if it was minimal it would not be an issue. These 5cm extenders are absolutely insane though. I understand with 23.5cm measurement and a 22 cm implant it was a requirement. Whether Dr. Kramer could cram 24 cm in the hole, I don't know but somehow it seems to me possible. Over time it surely had to make its own fit. If the 24 cm large series was available to him in the operating room, that I do not know either. This I do know. This thing has a hinge. Laying down it will aim at 2 o'clock. Stand up it flops easily to 3. Hang a washcloth on it and it hits 4. Bounce around and it will flop any direction. I deflated it all the way tonight and pumped it 33 full pumps and 5 more part pumps. All I could do two handed. I could push it down to 5:30 with little effort and feel the point where it hinged in the crus. Hinges are real. Whether it gets to be too much of a problem is yet to be determined but this hinge bit does NOT impress me. I think I could have hung a pipe wrench on the AMS before w/o tip extenders though it was getting to the point it took little effort to push it down within the last 2 months. Likely because it was stretched near its limit and getting lose from cycling over 800 times.
Breaking a habit of 20 years. I've had serious E.D. since bilateral hernia repairs in 1997 which escalated in 2009 with a prostatectomy As you stated, sex was a planned event. Over the years it went from a double dose of muse and any number of available treatments, singularly or in combo all the way to use daily 40 mg of Cialis plus a viagra or levitra an hour before, pump, then inject, then pump, then have sex until the erection ring pain became too intense to take it any more. By the time I was at that stage the thought of sex was off the table most of the time by the time I was ready. Wife had moved to other things. What woman can wait an hour while you fuck with this limp dick trying to get it going? Bad enough not knowing whether I would fully satisfy her before the ring pain got so intense I had to take it off. There were times I want to try to talk her into hiring her an escort to keep her sexually happy I felt so bad about it. The thought has been running through my head lately how to get past this mind set of planned sex and back to the spontaneous sex of our younger years. Planned sex had become such an effort and the last implant such a disaster we often gave up before trying. More often than not just fuck it, go out and work in the yard. I am glad to hear you are over that hump buddy. Having been thinking about this for 3 weeks I can see how hard these habits are going to be to break. It seems it has gotten easier to go out and tend a bed than to think about attempting to have sex. The easy part is we have not had any kids at home for 14 years. I am sure spontaneous sex on demand has to be great fun. Surprise sex in the shower with my short little Italian might be a good place to start. Again, glad you have made it. Cheers man. Thank you. Be well.
LGX 21cm .Milam 01/13/16. Horror; both service and surgical outcome. hated infrapubic installation. Kramer revision 03/01/17. 22cm Titan +1.5cm extender. Those who think their opinion is the only one that matters are a danger to themselves and others.

TANGERINE
Posts: 849
Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2017 11:10 pm

Re: My Journal

Postby TANGERINE » Thu Mar 23, 2017 12:39 am

Merrix:

As you mention in one of our very first posts: "if there is just one person who is helped by these long writeups, then It will have been worth it." Well Merrix, I was absolutely helped by your posts. I made the implant transition early February this year, and thankfully, I am now safely on the other side with full bionic capability and am enjoying a great cosmetic and functional result thanks to Dr Eid's gifted surgical skill.

Your comments on the psychological and marriage relations impact of the implant were so honest, so real, and so insightful.

Many Thanks to you Merrix -- you made a difference !

Best, TANGERINE
"Strive to find the best surgeon--experience really matters"
(63 yo, Titan 22cm implant Feb 2017 by Dr Eid) I'm super pleased with my length/girth/implant performance. See my story at "The road to becoming a bionic male: Answers ..."

gollam121
Posts: 181
Joined: Fri Dec 02, 2011 4:14 am

Re: My Journal

Postby gollam121 » Thu Mar 23, 2017 5:44 am

TANGERINE wrote:Merrix:

As you mention in one of our very first posts: "if there is just one person who is helped by these long writeups, then It will have been worth it." Well Merrix, I was absolutely helped by your posts. I made the implant transition early February this year, and thankfully, I am now safely on the other side with full bionic capability and am enjoying a great cosmetic and functional result thanks to Dr Eid's gifted surgical skill.

Your comments on the psychological and marriage relations impact of the implant were so honest, so real, and so insightful.

Many Thanks to you Merrix -- you made a difference !

Best, TANGERINE


Yes you have to take your hat off to Merrix. The factual detail is second to none.
42 years old, Venous leak all my life. Pills worked but not so much then I foolishly did Scerothreapy (See young guys thread). Now totally impotent and just want an implant to stop me from completely crazy.

Xomanow
Posts: 403
Joined: Mon Dec 14, 2015 9:03 pm

Re: My Journal

Postby Xomanow » Thu Mar 23, 2017 11:46 am

I'll second (or third that)......Merrix's well documented experience, thoughts, and conclusions were a huge help to me with my decision to not only go forward but to also be aware of what to expect post surgery.....and to approach this entire thing in a pragmatic way......I was well prepared going in to the surgery and my recovery period post surgery......and that's what this board is all about......and all of us who have crossed over to the other side, have the obligation to pay it forward in our own ways.....after all, it will be doing many women a great service,.....and they should pay it forward in every way imaginable (and unimaginable)..... :D
Implanted Jan 4 2017 by Dr. Eid - 70 yo and single...ED gradually over 15 yrs...tired of pills, injections, cock rings....happy with my choice and results. Titan OTR - one 20cm cylinder - one 20cm+1 RTE...."got a rocket in my pocket"....

merrix
Posts: 1188
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:08 am

18 months update

Postby merrix » Fri May 26, 2017 5:20 am

18 months update

Didn’t read my previous update before writing this one, probably not much below is different from when I wrote the previous one. But I will still keep posting these updates at some frequency for those who are interested.


Size

Starting with this, since it is still what most of the questions I get on PMs are about.
Before implant I was of varying size, since my erection quality was of various degree. On a good day I was about 16.5 cm (6.5”). A bad day, with a semi-erection which my wife had to bunch inside her, I was 15 cm (5.9”). My girth was 14 cm (5.5”) on a good day.
My flaccid length was 10 cm (3.9”) and my stretch test length was 16.5 cm (6.5”).
All length measurements bone pressed with a ruler and girth measured half way between abs and glans, i.e. midshaft.

Immediately after surgery, when I started cycling, I was <16 cm (<6.3”). Girth was larger, but that was due to swelling still there. A few weeks later, girth was down to 13.5 cm (5.3”).
I didn’t care to be honest. I seriously thought that the 1 cm lost length and 0.5 cm lost girth was completely irrelevant. Honestly. I didn’t give a shit. I had fixed my ED, and everything went well with the surgery.

Ever since then my size has increased. So has the number of pumps I can get in. I remember in the early days, when i started pumping, I couldn’t even do ONE full wall-to-wall pump. Only partials. The pump was simply too hard and stiff. I could only do maximum 30 partials. That probably corresponded to roughly 10-15 full pumps. Today I can do 30 full pumps and then another 15 partials, probably a total of 35-40 equivalents of full wall to wall pumps.

My size today is 17.5 cm (6.9”) when inflated to the level I use for sex (30 full w2w pumps) and when I am aroused and the glans is blood filled. Girth is 14.4 cm (5.7”).
So my erect length has increased with 1 cm and my girth with 0.4 cm compared to pre-implant.
Without arousal, if inflating to same level, my length is 16.5 cm (6.5”) and girth 14.0 cm (5.5”).
My flaccid is 15 cm (5.9”).
The difference between my flaccid and my inflated, aroused length is 2.5 cm (1”). About half of that difference is made up of the glans swelling when getting aroused. The other half though, is from the implant itself. From minor kinks straightening when inflating.

So yes, I have actually gained size from pre-op. That is something which the common knowledge on this site says should be impossible. But it has happened to me. Unless there is something in my story that I miss. One thing I have thought about myself is whether I ever got a full erection before my implant. Maybe I would always have been 17.5 cm if I didn’t have the VL. But if that was the case, I guess my dick would have shrunk over the years, and scarred to a level where it still would be impossible for the implant to regain it. Or? I don’t know…


Cycling routine

I was told by my doc that the frequent cycling is basically unnecessary. Twice per day till it is put in use, and then no need if implant is used frequently 2-3 times per week. I did however follow some sort of cycling protocol. Around 10 times per week including sex and masturbation. Never full when using it, and to the limit the other times. Meaning probably 5 times per week only to comfortable sex level, and 5 times per week till fully inflated.
Since the last 4-6 months I have reduced the cycling. Now probably only 1-2 times per week except for the usage. Meaning I only pump it full 1-2 times per week.


Surgical results

Couldn’t be better I think. My dick was very curved before my implant, double curved. It came out at an angle from my body, and then in addition the shaft was bent to the left as well. Combined, my tip pointed around 45 degrees to the left. That curve is basically gone now. It is not 100% straight, but so close to it that we’re talking a couple of degrees. Barely noticeable.
My pump is, as shown on pics earlier in this thread, impossible to see even if I hold my dick up and reveal my balls. The pump is behind the balls, at the same height as them.
My tips are very far out in my glans. In the early days I thought they were too far out, and that I was at risk. I’d say they are only 1 cm from glans when glans is not engorged, and they can be very clearly felt.
When glans swells up from arousal, they are impossible to feel, even when really trying to palpate them.


Sex

Sex with an implant feels for me more or less like it it did before. I cannot say that I feel the implant in me when I have sex. I don’t. Unless of course I pump it too hard, then there is some sort of unnatural feel. I do use around 30 full wall to wall pumps for sex, but I can get in another 15 partial pumps, which probably equals 5-10 full pumps. That should mean that I pump my dick at around 80% when i use it for sex.
Even at 30 pumps it gets harder than my dick ever got before the implant, even the best erection I ever had in my whole life. My wife confirms this hardness is slightly harder than a natural erection as well, but still within reasonable limits. Just a really hard dick, not obviously unnatural. And that judgement is not only based on my dick… My angle is around 2 o’clock, or maybe slightly lower. But definitely above 3 o’clock. Which is perfect for sex I think. I can easily penetrate without using my hands since the dick just doesn’t bend or flex much.
I can do any position without any discomfort or pain for neither me nor my wife.
My orgasm function has not changed at all. What has changed is that my dick always stays hard during sex and that makes it easier to come than when my dick went into some sort of semi-erection as it often did before implant.
My wife enjoys our sex a whole lot more. No worries about my dick going down. She comes much more often than before, and if she hasn’t orgasmed before me, I can easily keep going after I come to make her reach her orgasm.
She claims she cannot feel anything unnatural about my dick (unless I pump it too hard), neither during intercourse or oral sex. The only way she can detect the implant is if she thoroughly sucks and touches my balls. Then the pump will be noticed.


Activity

I am >40 years old. An old man according to the 25 year olds on this site, and a young boy according to the 70+ guys.
But one is only as old as one makes oneself, and to give an idea of my physical status, I do regularly lift weights, and some pretty decent weights as well. 400 pounds deadlifts for 5 reps, and 300 pounds squats for >10 reps. There are pics of me in this thread as well which I think can put my age in some perspective. I feel young, and I think I look young. I don’t have any problems at all doing my activities because of the implant. The squats, deadlifts are no problem. The implant doesn’t prevent me in any way from this. I also play tennis at a decent level, around 5.0 level for those of you who are familiar with the NTRP scale. The implant causes no problem there either.
I would say the only time I even feel the implant is if I bend over very deep, as in to tie my shoe laces, and I wear tight jeans. Then I can feel the pump being moved around in my scrotum. Nothing that hurts, but I can feel it’s there.
I think I am also more tender to the touch than before. If I play with my daughter and she accidentally pokes me in my crotch, I am just more sensitive than before.


The Titan and its alleged huge flaccid and deflation (autofill) problems

Short story: Bullshit. My flaccid is large. It is 15 cm (5.9”) and it has a Titan in it so the the girth is pretty massive for a flaccid dick as well. But I seriously don’t think it is a problem. I live in SE Asia. My apartment is right by the pool. Meaning when I am home, I either wear shorts and a tight T-shirt which does not cover my crotch. Or I wear wet swimwear in and around the pool. For work I always wear tightly fitted suits. Never do I feel my flaccid dick is a problem. It is still pliable enough to be tucked tight to my body in whatever clothes I wear. I never feel embarrassed. And I would be if I walked around with a 15 cm semi-hardon all day. But it just isn’t like that. It’s ok.

I don’t have any autofill problems. When i deflate, it stays deflated. I don’t even squeeze my dick when I deflate. Not if I deflate at night before I go to sleep. When I wake up my dick will be as flaccid as it gets. I don’t even press the pump once to ’reset’ the valve. No need. I still don’t get any autofill. What I do get however is a dick that feels better to touch than what I get if I squeeze my dick when deflating. That will cause the cylinders to go completely empty and flat, as tagliatelle instead of spaghetti. And I prefer the more natural feel of my dick when the cylinders are not totally flat. That also keeps the kinks away. If I press them completely flat, then there is one kink high up on the shaft. But not if I just let them drain themselves.

Interestingly, it wasn’t like this from the beginning. For the first few months, I also complained about autofill. I even sometimes deflated again during the day when I took a piss. But that problem just disappeared. Strange, but true.
I also couldn’t get the One Touch deflation to work from the beginning. I had to hold the deflate button down and squeeze my dick simultaneously. Now I just press the deflate button for a few seconds and then it drains itself. It’s like if the valve needed some sort of break in period.


The mental issues

I was not a miserable, depressed man before my implant. I have a fantastic family, a great marriage, a lot of friends, I am in great shape, like to work out, have a good career and a stable financial situation. So even though I suffered from some moderate degree of ED, I was happy with my life. The ED was really the only thing not being great. But it started to get to me more and more actually. And once it did, I went for the implant. So has this changed my life? No. Because my life was good before the implant as well. But it has added the icing of the cake. I feel like it completed my life rather than saved it.

I did have a hard time getting my head right after the implant. Sure, I could have sex. But I still felt like an impotent, pathetic bastard who couldn’t get his dick up. Well, not the right way, but with an inflatable dildo operated into my dick. And that still sucked. And I still cursed myself for being struck by this ED-crap. I even didn’t like to inflate in front of my wife. I tried to do it during foreplay, or before she went to bed or whatever. This feeling lingered for months. Or for a year. It isn’t really till just recently that I stopped looking at it that way. Of course, if I could choose, I’d have a natural working dick. But I can’t. And what I have now is the by far second best option in my opinion. I am seeing the good sides of it. I can never fail. I can go on as long as I want. It doesn’t matter if I am drunk, tired, or fucking a 90 year old toothless hag. I’ll always get it up and it will always stay up. The feeling of being able to look any woman in the eyes confidently knowing that I could fuck her like few men on the planet could is a pretty great feeling. And maybe she can tell from my confident look that I could…
So I am ok with my plastic prosthetic dick. It does the job it is there to do, and it does it very well.


The Doc

The doc you choose is the single most important factor in the equation. Get a good one. I short listed Eid, Perito and Kramer. I still think they are three of the best ones, maybe together with a couple of others. I chose Eid because he was the first one to respond to my enquiry. Before the other two had even replied, I had already had my phone consultation with Eid. He made a great impression and I never looked back and have never regretted my choice. He was great in every way. He also had the advantage of being in New York, which for me as a foreigner was a huge advantage. Better accessibility for international flights. And I love Manhattan, so staying there for some time was a great bonus.
I think it is quite obvious from reading here that Eid and Kramer are two guys who really stand out. If you choose to go with one of them and then it goes wrong, at least you cannot blame yourself for picking the wrong doc. Who of them is best is a question that probably can never be answered. It cannot be determined by us on this site. We’re all biased from our individual experience, and so am I. Eid gave me the most perfect result I could ever have hoped for, so I can only say he is great.
43 yo, ED forever from VL
Fit and active
Implanted December 2015
Titan XL 24 cm, no RTEs
Dr. Eid
Activated day 13
Sex after 3 weeks
Gained length and girth
So far It works perfectly
Only one advice: Find a world class surgeon

merrix
Posts: 1188
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:08 am

20 Months Update

Postby merrix » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:37 pm

20 MONTHS UPDATE

A FEW WORDS TO START WITH

I haven’t been here on FT for… don’t know how long, and I can’t check as I’m writing this offline on a flight from Europe to Asia.
And I am not really ’back’ because of this update either. I will post this update but won’t bother to get back into discussions. I spent a few minutes reading through some recent posts and threads yesterday. And the feeling is that I haven’t missed anything. And that is no criticism of current topics. This is a great site, or mostly great at least with the exception of a few misleading posts and posters, but it is all the same topics coming up over and over again. Which is natural. Because there are only a limited number of issues/topics there is to discuss. And every new guy coming in here will have the same questions as every new guy before him had. Length loss/recovery, deflation technique, surgery recovery, underwear, will a woman notice, AMS or Titan…
But taking this break from FT just made me realise I should have left this site behind a long time ago. As I mentioned in a few posts a long time ago, hanging around at a site like this once you have had your plastic cylinders implanted in your limp dick, healed and put it well to use - is only going to remind you of your ED and your implant. You are going to get constantly reminded of all the shit you went through before the surgery and during the healing. All the worries, all the doubt.
I think that in terms of ’mental healing’ these weeks off this site has made wonders. I haven’t even thought about my implant. Just made good use of it.

Anyway, this update will be, I guess, a lot of repeating myself from previous updates. I won’t look back at previous updates before I write this. This thread, ’My Journal’, is invaluable as a reference and diary for myself. This is the ultimate documentation of it all, and a place where I can always go back and see what I did, when I did it, how I felt etc. And if, as a bonus, someone learns something from it, then great. Since this is my personal diary and log book, where I can find all information about my implant, what the doctor did and when he did it, my healing, my size etc, it also means that everything I write here, every word, is with the intention of being 100% true. Otherwise the meaning of it (being my own reference) fails.


BACKGROUND

I had ED forever. Ever since I was a teenager and started making out with girls I noticed it didn’t get as hard as it should. Or rather didn’t stay as hard as it should.
Managed to have a sex life with workarounds such as using the right positions, skipping foreplay, going fast and hard from first stroke, and later on pills and rings, etc, etc.
I also had a pretty badly bent penis. About 45 degrees to the left. Half of it coming from the penis exiting my body at an angle and the other half the shaft itself being curved. Eid later said he thought I did have Peyroines disease.
Went for the implant 20 months ago at the age of 42.
Went with Eid because I wanted the best. Could have been Kramer or maybe Perito as well, (those were the three I contacted) but Eid was the fastest to respond of those three, and before the other two had even got in touch with me, I was already booked with Eid.


THE SURGERY

…went well. I did have some really bad pain in my scrotum though for about two weeks. Which left me stranded in my hotel in NY over Christmas and New Year. But the pain went away, and despite the pain, I inflated after 13 or 14 days (don’t remember which, but it can be read in earlier posts) and I had sex after about three weeks. But would have been sooner had I just had a chance to meet my wife any sooner.
I did have some issues with my pump from the beginning. I thought it was misplaced and was afraid I’d need a revision. It pointed to the right and even rubbed the inside of my right thigh. But Eid examined it and said not to worry. It’d be perfect once the swelling was gone. And he was right.


THE RECOVERY

…was tough. I just hated to be restricted and not being able to be as active as I normally am. I couldn’t work for three weeks even though I have a desk job. Well, plus a lot of business travelling, which was a pain in the ass in the beginning after surgery. Sitting for hours on a flight was crap. But I pushed through, and it got better quickly once the process really kicked in. I thought I was 100% recovered after 4 months, which I still think was about right.
Eid left me ’partially’ inflated. But this so called ’partial inflation’ was enough to keep my dick pointing right up at 1:00 or 1:30 o’clock angle after surgery. It made pissing a challenge… Size wise it was smaller than pre surgery. Only 15 cm (5.9”) compared to the 16-16.5 cm (6.3”-6.5”) I had before surgery. It took me about three months to be back to pre op size and then it has continued to get longer ever since then. More on that further down.


MY IMPLANT

…is a Titan XL 24 cm without any RTEs. Eid did first put a 22 cm implant in me but found there was room for more. He added 1 (or 1.5? don’t remember… look in earlier posts) cm RTEs but after inflating during surgery still thought there was room for a little bit more. And since he is a firm believer in that RTEs should always be avoided whenever possible, he got at it again, ripped out the 22 cm setup, threw it in the bin, and inserted a 24 cm Titan XL without any RTEs. Instead of just adding more RTEs which I think most docs would have done in that scenario.
My dick is nowadays pretty close to straight. It used to have a 45 degrees bend before surgery. There is still a slight curve to the left, but I estimate it to a few degrees. Definitely not an issue. My pump sits perfectly behind my balls. It cannot be seen even if I lift my dick up.


IIMPLANTS IN GENERAL, WHAT I HAVE LEARNED AND WHAT I MAKE OF IT

What I say below should not be taken as the ultimate truth. Nothing ever written on this site should. Some could lie for weird reasons, some are just plain wrong, and some are just plain stupid. I like to believe none of the above apply to me, but the warning is nonetheless issued. What I write here is my understanding which is based on reading a lot and discussing with my doctor.

AMS or Titan?

The never-ending debate. Who knows. Nobody probably. Not even the top docs since they do have different preferences. But the common belief, even among the two top docs, seems to be that the Titan is better for guys with larger dicks. It will give a harder erection, has wider circumference to support more girth. The AMS will, due to a thinner diameter and a softer material, give a softer flaccid. The pump is larger on the AMS, which makes it easier to manipulate, but of course also slightly more visible and palpable.
I never had an AMS, but I do have a Titan. My flaccid is really no issue. I have heard people talking about embarrassing semi-hardons instead of flaccid and about visible crinkles. I can barely believe it. If that’s the case, then why don’t I have it? A Titan is a Titan. And I have the absolutely largest size that could ever fit in my dick. I guess their doc did a shitty job, or they don't know how to deflate properly, or their device has some failure.
I have no visible crinkles when flaccid. I can get it completely deflated, it hangs as straight down as my balls allows it, and there is no auto-fill issues. I don’t even give the bulb a squeeze to ’lock’ the valve. It still doesn’t refill.

Another difference between AMS and Titan is the diameter of the fixed part in the rear end of the implant. The Titan fixed part is 13 mm wide, while the AMS rear fixed part is only 9 mm.
Both of the brands do have a 4.5 cm long fixed uninflatable part in the rear end (the part which goes into the crus).
RTEs will always have the negative impact of reducing the inflatable proportion of the implant. Eid calls this the rigidity factor. I have posted a long time ago the presentation from a conference where he discusses this issue. It has been recently posted by other members as well. The rigidity factor is simply the inflatable length divided by the total length including RTEs.
E.g. a 16 cm implant without RTEs will have 16-4.5 cm = 11.5 cm inflatable length. 4.5 cm is the fixed part in the rear end. The rigidity factory will be 11.5/16 = 72%.
If adding 2 cm RTEs to the same implant, the rigidity factor will drop to 11.5/18 = 64%.
In my case, it is (24-4.5)/24 = 81%. If I would have had a 22 cm + 2 cm RTEs instead, my RF would have been (22-4.5)/(22+2) = 73%.
This is one of the reasons Eid doesn't want to use RTEs. It reduces the rigidity factor which will, all other things equal, give a lower erection quality, a lower axial rigidity and over time a more ’wobbling’ erection.
The smaller diameter of the AMS rear fixed part adds to this problem. The RTEs will have the same diameter as the fixed 4.5 cm part and it means that the AMS RTEs are thinner than the Titan RTEs as well. Adding RTEs will of course further extend the fixed uninflatable part on both brands, but it will be more of a problem with the AMS since the diameter of the fixed part and the RTEs are so thin. It further increase the risk of ’wobbling’ compared to adding RTEs on a Titan.
Next, the tubing insertion on the AMS is differently placed on the AMS vs the Titan. It means the range of the tubing to the pump is not effectively as long as for the Titan. This is why the need to use RTEs on average is higher with the AMS. Otherwise the pump will sit too high due to the shorter effective tubing length. Hence many docs use RTEs with the AMS to avoid the high pump issue.
All in all, the above issues (potentially more girth, harder erection, less wobbling, no trade off between good pump placement vs no RTE usage, makes me think that the Titan better meets my priorities in terms of what I want from an implant.
The advantages of the AMS?
- Supposedly a softer flaccid. But my flaccid is great, so it doesn’t apply to my case.
- A potential reliability issue of the tubing insertion on the Titan causing premature failure. But there are long term studies (posted here on FT as well by Tangerine I believe) showing no significant difference in reliability/length of life after ten (or was it five?) years.
- Potentially a lower infection rate with AMS due to the antibacterial coating. Well, infection is of course the number one complication to avoid. But as it is now, Eid uses an absolute majority of Titans, and his infection rates are, if I remember right, less than 0.4%. Let us say this would be 0.3% with the AMS (which is probably an exacerbation since scientific studies don’t show any such large differences in infection rates between the brands), I still wouldn’t make that the dealbreaker. The infection rate is so tiny anyway with a Titan and Eid (or an equally skilled doc), so I would let the other Titan advantages decide it for me.

Implant mathematics

The rule of thumb states that one third of your implant length will be in your body, and two thirds in your dick. Seems to be close enough on most people. This rule can also be used to explain another shortcoming, or risk, with too many RTEs.
Let us assume someone gets an 18 cm implant without RTEs. He will have 6 cm in his body and 12 cm in his dick. Of the 6 cm in his body, 4.5 cm will be fixed uninflatable length and 1.5 cm will be inflatable. The 12 cm in his dick will not go all the way to his penis tip (then he’d be in trouble), but rather end around 2 cm from his tip. So his dick would be 12+2 cm long, i.e. 14 cm. Of course this is just a hypothetical example. But it seems this rule of thumb works pretty well in many cases,

Using this calculation on myself, just to see whether the logic works:
24 cm implant, no RTEs. 4.5 cm fixed uninflatable length. 17.5 cm erect length. 1.5 cm from cylinder tips to penis tip. This would mean I must have 17.5-1.5 cm = 16 cm cylinder length in my dick. The total inflatable length is 24-4.5 cm = 19.5 cm. That would give me 19.5-16 cm=3.5 cm of inflatable length inside my body, plus the 4.5 cm uninflatable fixed part.
I would have 16/24 cm = 2/3 in my dick and 8/24 = 1/3 in my body. The rule of thumb works to the decimal.

The rigidity factor and the joint between fixed and implant part changes dramatically with extensive use of RTEs. Let us take myself again as the example. Today, my RF is (24-4.5)/24=81%. The joint is 3.5 cm inside my body as calculated above.
If my 24 cm implant would have been 20 cm cylinders and 4 cm RTEs, my RF would have been (20-4.5)/24=65%. For the joint position: My dick is 17.5 cm inflated. Distance from tip of cylinders to tip of penis 1.5 cm. So I need 16 cm implant in my dick. The RTE setup would give me 20-4.5 = 15.5 cm inflatable length. Not enough! I would have 0.5 cm fixed part extending out in my dick…


WHICH DOC DO YOU LET CUT UP YOUR DICK AND PUT A PROSTHESIS IN IT?

As my signature says, I think this is the most important decision to get right if a perfect result is the goal. There are studies, linked to by myself further up this thread if I remember right, which shows a clearly higher failure rate when going with low-volume (i.e. less experienced) surgeons than with high-volume (i.e. more experienced) surgeons. That doesn’t of course mean you are doomed to a crap result with your local low-volume surgeon. An absolute majority of implants are done by low-volume surgeons, and satisfaction rates are above 90% in total. That could never be achieved if low-volume docs didn’t succeed (as in create patient satisfaction) in an absolute majority of cases. But for me, I would want to maximise my chances.
Furthermore, what is a good outcome? Guys who have their surgery with their local low-volume surgeon might answer ”yes” to the question ”are you satisfied with your penile implant surgery” and even say ”I couldn’t be happier” on FT. Bullshit. How do they know that? They don’t have a clue whether they could be happier. Maybe they would be a lot happier with another brand of implant inserted by a more skilful surgeon. They don’t know that. Period. Just because something works doesn’t mean it couldn't be even better. It’s like a guy buying a new Renault car and never having driven a Mercedes. And he says ”I love my car, I couldn’t be happier”. Bullshit. Let him try the Benz and he will take that statement right back. He will realise he could be a lot happier with a Benz in his garage.


THE IMPLANT IN EVERY DAY LIFE

I do all I want. The implant does not put any restrictions whatsoever on what I can do. I do all the sports I want. In my case that is tennis, lifting weights and some boxing. And I know many on this site are a bit older, so tennis might to some people mean 4 old men playing one up one back doubles without moving their asses. And lifting weights can mean lying down on a nicely padded bench doing 12 reps with a pair of pink 5 pound dumbells. And that’s great, we should all exercise and our age and body will limit what we can do. I will be playing that static no-running doubles tennis as well one beautiful day in the future. And lift those 5 pound dumbells. Never pink though. But just to make you who read this understand what I put myself and my implant through, let me explain what I mean with exercise, and what I expose my implant to. I play high level competitive singles tennis. I play with guys below 30 years old who only a few years ago travelled the world playing at the Challenger tour (the level just below the ATP tour) and I give them a good match.
By lifting weights I mean deadlifts at 180 kg (400 lbs) for 8 reps. Squats at 145 kg (300 lbs) for 10 reps. Chins at a total weight of 125 kg (278 lbs), meaning 90 kg (200 lbs) bodyweight plus added 35 kg (78 lbs), for 8 reps. Dips at 130 kg (290 lbs), 90 kg bodyweight plus 40 kg, for 8 reps. Bent over barbell rows at 90 kg (200 lbs) for 10 reps.
I know there are guys out there who use these weights for their warmups. My point is not to try to impress anyone with my lifts. Because for sure, some won’t be impressed. I just include the numbers to give people who read this an idea of what it means when I say ’lift weights’. Then you can all judge for yourself what it means to you when I say i lift weights. If someone comes here wondering whether they can continue to lift heavy after an implant, at least I may be one case showing it’s possible. I didn’t have to back off a bit. Just for a couple of months immediately after surgery. And then mostly on the deadlift, not the squat strangely enough.
Otherwise, there aren’t any other issues. It never hurts, it doesn’t restrict me. I live in SE Asia, with the condo pool two meters from my terrace. I spend basically all weekends in and around the pool socialising with friends. My flaccid, with the feared huge semi-erect Titan, is no issue. I never feel uncomfortable even in wet swimming shorts. And my flaccid is large. 15 cm (5.9”) long and 12 cm (4.7”) in circumference. And please note, the length is measured from the top of the penis. Bone pressed. If using the alternate measurement method, which is gaining popularity and acceptance on FT, the groin method, the flaccid length will be 18 cm (7.1”).


SIZE OF THE INFLATED DICK AND WHAT TO DO TO MAXIMIZE IT

Before surgery I was about 16,5 cm (6.5”) long when having a good erection on Viagra. Circumference was 14 cm (5.5”).
Today I am 17.5 cm long (6.9”) and 14.4 cm (5.7”) thick. Well with the groin method I am a monstrous 20 cm (7.9”) long. But I am an old fashioned guy and stick to the good old proven method of measuring from the pubic bone (bone pressed) above the dick.

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Larger than before surgery, yes. How is that possible? I have no fucking clue. If someone has a good explanation, let me know. Shouldn’t be possible I guess. But it is what has happened. I have kept slowly gaining size ever since surgery. Not by any particular stretching program with some detailed routine. Honestly, it doesn’t change shit whether you do your pumping in intervals of 10, 5, 3 or whatever. And it doesn’t change shit if you stroke your dick for 2.37 minutes after 17 pumps and then again after 24.5 pumps and if you wait for one minute or five minutes between your clusters of pumping. And you guessed right, it doesn’t matter what colour the hat is you wear when you pump your dick either. All that probably matters is that you pump till your dick stretches. But the question is if it matters at all whether you pump the shit out of your implant. I did inflate it regularly during the first months. Basically once or twice every day. Not for long, maybe 30 minutes per day on average. Sometimes only for 5 minutes while taking a shower. Simply because I don’t have time to sit around by myself naked with a hardon. I have work, family, and social commitments. I want to work out and I want to sleep. I have a busy life and no time to spend an hour in the morning and an hour in the evening waiting for my dick to grow. After about four to six months I reduced the pumping. The last few months I have barely ever inflated it except when I use it, which I do about 3-4 times per week. But my size has continued to slowly, slowly increase. Just as it did when I pumped more frequently.
I am just one case. And n=1 doesn’t mean shit. But my famous doc told me he doesn’t believe in any size increase from regular long term cycling. He said it was only important in the beginning before putting the implant to regular use. But then no advantages after that. I know that is maybe a pretty controversial statement. But based on my dick, I tend to believe he is right.
And I still do think that more frequent use will significantly increase the risk to shorten the life of the implant. It is normal for any mechanical device to fail sooner with more frequent use.
Anyway, what I can say though, with certainty since I have documented it, is that the number of pups I have been able to get in has increased all the time as well. If I for every month since my surgery look at the monthly average of how many pumps I could get in and the volume of my dick (calculated from length and girth), then there is a very clear pattern. That number basically doesn’t change. The volume of my dick changes linearly with the increase in how many pumps I can get in. So my length increase is in that perspective not so strange. It is simply a result of me being able to pump the cylinders more. But that still doesn’t prove that the implant extends in length. It could still be that more fluid pumped in to the implant just straightens more crinkles. I don’t know.


FLACCID SIZE AND DIFFERENCE BETWEEN INFLATED AND FLACCID

My flaccid is 15 cm (5.9”). Bone pressed. Measured above the dick.

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That means there is a difference of 2.5 cm (1”) between my flaccid and my inflated dick. Part of that is due to glans engorgement. My inflated dick with no arousal (no glans engorgement) is about 17 cm (6.7”), maybe a few mm less. But that still leaves 2 cm (0.8”) difference just from inflating. The Titan is not supposed to lengthen when inflated. But there have been literature saying it does, if i remember right I have linked to a conference presentation saying it does actually extend some. But my guess is that most of my length extension from inflating comes simply from crinkles straightening.


HARDNESS, ANGLE, ETC

I have gradually increased the number of pumps I use for sex. I started out at less than 20. Gradually increased to 30 which is what I used until only a few weeks ago. Up till then I had gradually increased. Just trying one more than before every now and then. But then I sort of forgot that. Could be correlated with my absence from FT. I kind of didn’t think much about my implant. Just fucked with it. But one night a few weeks ago, I did realise I had used 30 pumps for a long time. And decided to try 35. I knew I would take my my wife in the living room that night. I pumped up some sort of semi, the maximum pumps that I can still bend it in a pair of jeans. That is 7 pumps. Beyond that, it will hurt to wear jeans.
Once it was time to stick it in, I quickly added more pumps. But I forgot about the 7 I already had, added another 35 and had great sex even though it was slightly uncomfortable for me in some extreme positions. Realised the day after I had actually used 42 pumps (7+35). Tried 40 next time, and it was great. Have kept using 40 since then. This is still not full, but close to. A few months ago, 40 was my maximum, but now I can get in close to 50. The first 30 will roughly be full wall to wall pumps, and then gradually lesser from there on. So the 50 would probably be the equivalent of 40 full wall to wall pumps. And my 40 used for sex would probably be around the equivalent of 36-37 full wall to wall pumps.
My angle at 40 pumps (sex level) is about 2 o’clock. That is an estimation based on what I see in the mirror, but I think it is pretty correct.

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The shaft is ridiculously hard. It just can’t be bent at all. Nothing. The flex at the base is very limited. I can press it down to parallel to the floor (3 o’clock), but no further. And there is no way I can bend it up to touch my abs. It is too stiff for that. I can slip my dick in and out of my wife without using any hands. Just point and shoot. It will not bend or flex.
My wife says that the 30 pumps’ hardness feels just like a natural good erection in terms of hardness. She cannot feel anything unnatural about it. At 40 pumps, she says she thinks it feels unnaturally hard when using her hands and giving me a blowjob. But when I fuck her, she says it doesn’t feel unnatural, just amazingly hard, harder than anything she had before, but still not outside the boundaries of raising suspicion of something unnatural.


ORGASM, EJACULATION

No difference technically. But in practice, it is better than before. Simply because it is easier to come with a hard dick and a confident mind than it is with a semi-erection which you constantly worry will any minute go completely soft. It does occasionally happen that I fail to come, let’s say once per month, but then it is almost always when I am (too) drunk.
My ejaculation is no different. At least not what I can notice.
My wife’s orgasm frequency? Huge improvement. Basically she will come every time we have sex. If not before me, then I just keep going after my orgasm till she comes. I think it has made wonders for here that she knows there is no rush, I can go on as long as we want, there will be no disappointment etc. Just relax and enjoy. Only limit for how long we can go on is our fitness. And we’re great off in that department both of us. On the other hand, none of us really like the long, grinding type of sex. We both prefer intensity over duration.
Intensity of my orgasms? No difference, but if any, then I’d say maybe they are stronger now.


WILL A WOMAN NOTICE?

Another heavily debated question here on FT. My standpoint is clear. And so is my wife’s.
Of course there is no 100% valid answer to this question. It will heavily depend on the sex you have. There are a few ways the woman would notice you are not normal.

You don’t get hard from her touching you. Of course, you can avoid this. Pumping while she takes a shower, while you take a piss or whatever. But if your woman surprises you, pulls your pants down, starts to blow your dick, you’re in for a difficult cover up. If you then excuse yourself, go somewhere private and pump your prosthesis up and walks out with a hardon, it will be a bit suspicious. Especially if this happens again and again. Let’s say for example she wakes you up by blowing your dick in the morning. You won’t get hard no matter how hard she tries. Then you excuse yourself to go and take a piss, and voila, you are hard as a rock. Seems you get more excited from pissing than getting a blowjob..?

You don’t go soft after orgasm. This can of course be avoided as well by pulling out quickly, rolling over and quickly deflate with your back towards her or something similar. You can pull out quickly and deflate while you kiss her to block her view of your hands for example. But let’s say she takes your load in her mouth and keeps sucking your dick while she waits for it to go down. It won’t go down. Again, you’re in for a difficult cover up.

The pump. There is a third ball in your scrotum. And that ball does have a square shape attached to it as well. And any person who thoroughly touches your scrotum will feel that there is a foreign object in there. For sure. Of course, if your partner doesn’t thoroughly touch and suck your balls, then this won’t happen. But IF she does, she will feel something is in there.

All of these potential giveaways can be hidden with planning and choices. But since there is another person in the mix which you can never control 100%, the risk is always there that she will do something that destroys your cover up plans. So my advice is simply to be prepared that she will notice. If not sooner, then definitely later.

All of these scenarios must not necessarily lead to her understanding you have an inflatable penile prosthesis though. But she will understand there is something different, unnatural about you. A lot of women probably wouldn’t say something. Especially not if it’s a one-night-stand. It’d just be awkward. She’d probably just notice the foreign object in your scrotum, assume you had some surgery for some issue, and not say anything.

Every time I tell my wife there are people here on FT who says they have had sex several times with women who didn’t notice it, she just laughs and says that those guys just don’t understand that the women do notice but choose not to say anything. Or of course, the other explanation is they just have sex in a very different way than me and my wife do.


FUCKING WITH A PLASTIC DICK

… is great. Probably not as great as doing it with a super performing natural dick (I wouldn’t know since I never had one), but still great. I don’t feel the implant in me. It just feels natural.


THE PSYCHOLOGY OF AN IMPLANT

I was thinking 24 hours per day about getting or not getting an implant once I started to look in to the possibility a little less than two years ago. But from the day I started thinking about it, I had decided in a month. And two months later I had done it. It all went quick. I have never regret it. But that doesn’t mean it was an easy thing to get 100% over it, accept it, get it to feel ’normal’. I think this is an endless journey. Just that one takes larger steps in the early days, and as time passes by, the adaption slows down as one comes closer and closer to 100% adaptation.
I had huge issues with feeling comfortable with my implanted dick in the first months. Sure, I could have sex when I wanted with a hard dick. But I still felt like a freak, like a pathetic impotent bastard who just found a workaround with a fake dick. Like putting my limp dick in a strap-on dildo. That would also mean I could fuck forever with a hard ’dick’, but it’d still be pathetic and I’d still be impotent.
This slowly changed though. I still think in some part that is actually true, but I don’t give a shit anymore. I am super happy with what I have and I know there is no better alternative. I do even see this as an upgrade to a man with a natural dick in some ways. It is in the sense that it will never fail and can be used as often and for as long as I want. That is not the case with a normal dick. The downsides are there as well of course, mostly in terms of not being able to get hard the normal way, but maybe the pros outweigh the cons. And most of all, this is a gazillion times better than the crap dick I had before. Wishing I never got the VL will not help. I did get it and I then I got the best possible cure for it.


REPROGRAMMING

I have said it before, but will say it again - reprogramming my ED brain was not easy. I was used to always having to speed up. Fast and furious from the first thrust. Keeping the friction up not to lose the erection. No slow grinding. Barely any position changes. Just bang her hard and fast. That was the only way to give myself good odds of not allowing my ED to show its ugly face. But it still did once in a while.
My wife had adapted to this way of thinking about and having sex as well. During our roughly 20 years together, she had of course learned exactly how my dick worked. Or didn’t work. So it took her some ’ED reprogramming’ as well. I would say though that we’re there now both of us. We now have sex the way we want to, without any influence of old forced habits. And I can tell for sure that my wife is enjoying it so much more. Not just because she tells me, but it is quite obvious during the act as well.


HOW/WHEN DO I INFLATE?

Normally, we still have sex in bed at bedtime. And in that case it is of course very easy to just inflate in the shower right before I go to bed. Or if my wife goes in to the bathroom after me, I can just do it in bed before she comes. But when we do have our occasional spontaneous sex acts (not always that easy with young kids) I just inflate right there and then. In front of her. I can go almost all the way with one hand while I lick her pussy. But the 40 pumps I use these days is very, very hard to get to with one hand due to the force required to get the last pumps in. So I normally just go as far as I can with one hand, which is great hardness for getting blowed, and then I just use two hands to top it up before I fuck her. It doesn’t feel uncomfortable or weird anymore as it did in the beginning. Letting the awkwardness of the pumping hinder creativity and spontaneousness of sex would be stupid. Those were some of the reasons to get the implant in the first place, wasn’t it..?


ADVICE ON GETTING AN IMPLANT OR NOT

Impossible for anyone to say yes or no of course. But a lot of guys still ask the question here on FT. I remember I was asking myself whether my problems were severe enough for getting implanted. Or was this only for people who were completely impotent and just couldn’t penetrate no matter how many pills and shots they took? I could at least finish the sex act 7-8 times out of 10 if I used my Fast and Furious strategy together with Viagra.
For whatever it is worth, here is roughly what Eid answered when I asked him that question:
”No, no. Your problems are not too mild for getting implanted. I have done several patients younger than you and with milder forms of ED. A man your age should be able to keep the erection for 30 minutes without problem. You are a very good candidate for an implant. You should have a much better sex life at your age and fitness level.”
My advice would be to first assess where you are. If you feel bad about your erection ability, and it is not easily fixed with quitting drugs, losing weight etc, then I’d seriously consider it. But if you do have some mild ED issues and it hasn’t really got to you, it doesn’t drag you down and affect your life, then maybe I’d stick with what I have. But if you feel bad about it and it is getting worse, then for sure, an implant is a great solution.
I would also like to address the case when guys here seem so worried about losing some length and that seems to set them off from going ahead. Seriously? If you don’t go ahead because you are afraid of losing 2 cm, then I don’t think your ED is serious enough to require an implant in the first place. There is no way around it, what is better - a hard on command 4 inch dick, or a limp unusable 7 inch dick? It’s that simple.
But - that said, a good surgeon will make sure you don’t lose any length. Myself and others who have had the surgery with Eid can all refer to his accountability in this matter. He gave me an injection the day before the surgery to measure my erect dick. I only got a semi, so he took my semi and stretch test measured it. 16 cm long and 14 cm girth. He just told me that’s what he would guarantee. I would not come out of surgery shorter than 16 or thinner than 14. I said I was 16.5 cm with a good Viagra erection. He just said that 16 is what I see right here right now, and 16 is what I guarantee. Fair enough. I liked his style and his commitment to a hard, measurable outcome. I ended up being 17.5 cm 20 months after surgery, so Eid more than lived up to his promise. I am not an implant surgeon, but I still don’t understand how those horror stories here from people saying they lose 2 inches can even happen. As I see it, they either don’t compare to their length the day before surgery but rather their length several years ago, e.g. before prostate cancer. And then their penises have shrunk over time. Or their doc is an absolute fuckup. If the doc just measures the dick before surgery, and then inflates and measures again during surgery, this whole ’losing length’ issue wouldn’t even happen. Unless the doc is such a fuckup that he inserts a too small implant and then just doesn’t correct his mistake, but rather just leaves it in there and just pretends as if it is normal to lose length. So I would ask my potential doc for some sort of commitment to a number and ask him if he checks against this number during surgery. If his answer to that question is not convincing, I’d look elsewhere to have my dick worked on. Because not only will that dick be shorter, but it will have a floppy head.


FINAL WORDS

Hopefully it will take a long time again till my next update. I seriously would like to advice some of you veterans to get off this site. In my case it was a very good thing. I don’t think it is good to daily log on to this site and get hammered with all problems, issues etc. Just getting constantly reminded about it is a negative thing. Better just to forget about it and make good use of it instead.
So goodbye again for hopefully a long while.
Happy fucking and take care.
43 yo, ED forever from VL
Fit and active
Implanted December 2015
Titan XL 24 cm, no RTEs
Dr. Eid
Activated day 13
Sex after 3 weeks
Gained length and girth
So far It works perfectly
Only one advice: Find a world class surgeon

merrix
Posts: 1188
Joined: Tue Oct 27, 2015 1:08 am

Re: My Journal

Postby merrix » Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:42 pm

Adding this pic as well in a separate post since there seems to be a limit of 3 pics per post. Couldn't fit it in to the "20 months update" post above.
Flaccid look.
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Last edited by merrix on Mon Aug 14, 2017 7:47 pm, edited 1 time in total.
43 yo, ED forever from VL
Fit and active
Implanted December 2015
Titan XL 24 cm, no RTEs
Dr. Eid
Activated day 13
Sex after 3 weeks
Gained length and girth
So far It works perfectly
Only one advice: Find a world class surgeon


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