Update - Implant for Mental Impotence

[David_R]

Greg, no doctor knows all about everything medical (even though, unfortunately, there are a few who act like they do). So this is not a criticism of doctors; it's just correct that primary care physicians know about primary care medicine, and there are a variety of sub-specialties that urologists focus on. That's why it is so important to find (1) a urologist who specializes in male sexual dysfunction (often among other sub-specialties) and (2) a prosthetic urologist if one wants to know more from a doctor with specialized training in implants (aka penile prostheses).

[michaeleurope1]

Well, my story is not the same like yours but still a bit similar: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=10024&p=82728#p82728

I have good days and bad days, but if I relax, take some Cialis or Viagra, have a women that makes me very horny and a glass of wine:
He works. Still.

But somewhere deep inside I have a wish (and I guess we all have it): I want to work like a sex machine, I want my dick completly under my control, like an ancient greek god, and what gives you more control over your dick than an implant, right? Thats what bothers me most: I lost control over him, I want the control back like I had im my 20ies. Women --> erection --> Sex.

BUT: I fear thats a completely wrong view, at least in our situation.

If there is a mainly mental reason for your erectile malfunction, I would at first rather go for a long term holiday or yoga or whatsoever - but not for an implant. Thats rubbish.

Why? I guess with ED your subconcious mind tells you (no - screams on you!): Change something in your life or in your complete mindset, there is something going very wrong.
And if you overplay that important message with an implant - the next step could be a heart attack, a stroke, cancer or something similar. An that would change your life for sure.

Sounds a bit esoteric, but these where my thoughts when I read your post.

So, my proposal: If - one day! - no pills or injections work: Reframe the whole thing again, go for an implant and live the fiction that you a greek sex god with divine control over your erection.

Before that: Stay human with all mistakes and shortcomings, convince yourself that your glass is still half full ond not half empty.

This is how I am trying to handle that tricky situation.

[defiant]

Well, my story is not the same like yours but still a bit similar: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=10024&p=82728#p82728

I have good days and bad days, but if I relax, take some Cialis or Viagra, have a women that makes me very horny and a glass of wine:
He works. Still.

But somewhere deep inside I have a wish (and I guess we all have it): I want to work like a sex machine, I want my dick completly under my control, like an ancient greek god, and what gives you more control over your dick than an implant, right? Thats what bothers me most: I lost control over him, I want the control back like I had im my 20ies. Women --> erection --> Sex.

BUT: I fear thats a completely wrong view, at least in our situation.

If there is a mainly mental reason for your erectile malfunction, I would at first rather go for a long term holiday or yoga or whatsoever - but not for an implant. Thats rubbish.

Why? I guess with ED your subconcious mind tells you (no - screams on you!): Change something in your life or in your complete mindset, there is something going very wrong.
And if you overplay that important message with an implant - the next step could be a heart attack, a stroke, cancer or something similar. An that would change your life for sure.

Sounds a bit esoteric, but these where my thoughts when I read your post.

So, my proposal: If - one day! - no pills or injections work: Reframe the whole thing again, go for an implant and live the fiction that you a greek sex god with divine control over your erection.

Before that: Stay human with all mistakes and shortcomings, convince yourself that your glass is still half full ond not half empty.

This is how I am trying to handle that tricky situation.

This was a really nice comment to read, Thank you, Michael.

Everything you say makes perfect sense.

I am trying every day to remind myself of the things that ‘prove’ it’s all mental;

Cialis has been effective 95-97% of all occasions
When I become comfortable with someone, I begin to wean down
I’ve have had a good number of sexual occasions w/o cialis
2 Doppler ultrasounds were NAD (no abnormality detexted)
After leaving the first tests which showed a leak, I was hard for 2 hours after the scan
I had 5 erections, each 20-30 mins during NPT
THREE andrologists have determined NO physical defect
I know anxiety gets the better of me, biggest problem this one
I DO have nocturnal erections according to a study (but I am rarely aware of them and barely ever wake with one)
There is NO clear or logical cause for ED based on my history
I was hard despite mixing drinks and being very drunk AND had no cialis in me the other week, so the only thing I can deduce from that was that my anxiety was impaired by alcohol.

That’s all well and good but my anxiety around this situation being the way it is, I don’t want to even attempt masturbation as I’m sure it’ll go soft quickly if I can get it up at all and just know it’s all in the head is still a massive problem.

Gonna try hypnotherapy. Why the hell not.

[Larry10625]

Hello brothers!

Some of you will have surely seen me post here before but for those that haven't, briefly, I've experienced a gradual onset of ED since my early 20s with no apparent reason for this gradual decline in erection quality. I had cancer at 26, just after I was treated successfully, a urologist looked into my penis concerns, did the doppler and hey presto, 'mild venous leak'. Funnily enough after exiting that scan, I had a full on hard-on for 2 hours at home. Go figure. So the seed was sewn. I was put on Cialis and have since become dependent.

Long story short, 3 specialists in this field have told me it's in my head. 3 different dopplers have since confirmed no leakage and one of the UK's leading implanters has done a night time study on me showing 5 episodes in the night, each lasting around 20-30 mins, each at least 80% rigidity which was claimed to be normal. Strange how I very, very rarely notice these hard-ons nor wake with them. So it must all be mental, right?! Well, who the hell really knows.

My dependence upon pills has become extraordinary, so much so that I have developed a OCD behaviour around it and feel powerless without them. As for their efficacy, in the beginning, wow, rockstar, I will always remember a night with a girl where we had sex 6 times. And that efficacy has largely remained. And to this day, if I were to assign a percentage to Cialis' effectiveness, it would have to be 95-97% overall. But, now at 34 and still single, having recently broken up with a girl of 3 years on and off, a relationship of little security, I find myself extremely stressed about future. Even with the pills in my system, I can't fully relax. I am always worrying it will go down.

I had managed to wean the dosage over the years but heartbreaks and tragedies have made this problem of mine worse. I fear the pills will one day lose efficacy. I fear being forming new relationships now. When I try to masturbate, most of the time it won't work (I never use pills for masturbation). I rarely wake with wood. To have an erection standing, even with cialis would most likely be a dream. I've seen a psychologist who was absolutely useless, I've seen a shrink who put me on a boner friendly medication that made me want to do bad things! This whole problem is just a nightmare.

There have been glimpses of hope that I could maybe one day rid myself of this dependence and ultimate mental plight. I was able, a good number of times to complete sex with my ex without anything in my system, those times where you have nothing in your blood flow but you get frisky and hey, look, it's up so you try it. And most notably about a month ago I had drunk so much that night, mixed my drinks and had no pill in me but the erection was strong. So the diagnosis that it's mental is probably correct.

Thing is, mental ED, and I mean the kind of mental ED like mine; where you obsess over it, analyse it, fear failure 24/7, where it impacts your desire to get out and meet women, where you can't adequately keep an erection on your own is so very damaging to the psyche. This is where I'm at now. This against a backdrop of a lot of bad **** that's happened in my 34 years; the cancer, losing my dad to cancer at 12, multiple heartbreaks, real, deep heartbreaks and this god awful crap since 21.

I just want to be free. And indeed this top implanter, Dr Ralph of UCLH has even said, 'look I get men, young men come in here, we prove it's all psychological without a shadow of a doubt but still, nothing works for them. We implant them and then they never come back'.

I'm in a very low place right now guys with the self-esteem and confidence of a mouse. And I am seriously considering implantation. VEDs and injections are not at all suitable for a single man in my honest opinion. If anyone can offer some tangible advice based on what I've written, I'd love to hear it.

God bless you all!

Defiant;
Your story is sad, probably even more sad if the details to the "heartbreaks" were known. I wonder how you would make out if you saw an addictions counselor? I don't think you will get to the bottom of the possible ED issue while you are still addicted. Please keep your Frank Talk brothers posted on your progress. Because we all know how devastating ED is, every time we learn of a new case (especially in young men), we are genuinely concerned.

Larry

[David_R]

Defiant,
For one thing Primary Care Physicians don't tend to know much about ED. Even Urologists who do not specialize in male sexual dysfunction don't seem to understand.

My understanding is that if a general urologist doesn't help you as you consider an implant, you should make an appointment with a prosthetic urologist (one who has special training in "penile prostheses," or implants). I think the implant companies' websites can provide contact information about prosthetic urologists near you. (And I certainly am keeping you in prayer, brother.)

[BadGrandpa]

This will be a long post, but I feel there needs to be some background to illustrate my point.

I first experienced ED at 18 yrs old after a VERY sexual relationship when I was 17. The first time it happened I figured it was just a fluke, as embarrassing as it was to me I got over it and moved on. Then it happened again, and again. When I met my wife at 19 yrs old I told her up front "I cant get it up" and that I had gone without sex for over a year. Right off the bat, she told me she didn't care and we would figure something out. Over our dating period, we messed around a lot, oral sex, hands, and fingers etc. One night she was determined we were going to have sex, and she made it happen. No, I didn't magically get an erection, she just refused to give up and worked with what we had. I married her a short time later.

Not long after this happened I saw my first urologist. He examined me, gave me the injection and did the ultrasound. Afterward, he told me its all in my head and prescribed me viagra. Viagra worked somewhat, it gave me about 60% of my erection back but the headaches were awful. This was long before there were other options like Cialis and since my wife and I were able to have sex without viagra I gave up on it.

Fixing my ED problem didn't cross my mind much until early 2011 after I had recovered from triple bypass surgery in Aug 2010. I asked my cardiologist if it was safe for me to take something like Viagra or Cialis. After doing a stress test he said it was and prescribed Viagra. We tried it again and the headaches weren't as bad. I was pretty happy with the results and so was my wife. Things were going good until they weren't. The headaches came back so we stopped using Viagra.

We managed for a while with what I had along with a box of toys we kept in the bedside table. Fast forward to December 2017 and I heard an interview with a Dr and one of his implant patients. I was aware of implants, my uncle who is also type 1 diabetic had one. His was not inflatable and was basically erect 24/7 I knew this because I lived with him and his wife way back in 87-88 when I was in that very sexual relationship I mentioned when I was 17. He told me about the surgery/recovery and it horrified me.

After hearing that interview I decided I was going to find a urologist and see about getting this ED fixed once and for all. At my first appointment after talking to the Dr and telling him my health history he just asked. "So when do you want to schedule your surgery? Because that is the only thing that's going to permanently resolve it."

I had the surgery and here I am today, having sex like I'm 17 and not a care in the world. Still married to the amazing woman I met at 19.

My point is if you have something that is working for you there is no need to rush into surgery. I was aware of implants before I ever experienced ED, but I met an amazing woman that made things work. I was upfront with her about it before we ever did anything sexually and she was ok with that. That honesty up front took ALL of the stress away and made our relationship better. Focus on what you have, not on what you might lose. If you do lose it, you know you can get it back with an implant. When you think you have found the right woman, be honest and up front. You don't need to tell them anything on the first date but if/when things start getting heated let them know. Odds are they will understand and appreciete the honesty, and it takes the stress off of your shoulders.

[ED2013]

Why don’t you try a couple drinks along with pills? Not get drunk, but just a lil something to take the edge off. Then wean down later if it works. Lots of men have a couple drinks before to last longer.

[MK1965]

BadGrandpa ,
From your signature I see you had your implant with Dr Cornel in Houston just over a month ago.
How are you satisfied with your implant and Dr Cornel?
Was it done at St Joseph and did you stay over the night?
MK

[BadGrandpa]

BadGrandpa ,
From your signature I see you had your implant with Dr Cornel in Houston just over a month ago.
How are you satisfied with your implant and Dr Cornel?
Was it done at St Joseph and did you stay over the night?
MK

will send you a PM so it doesn't sidetrack defiant's thread.