A Young Man’s Plight - Please Advise

[Larry10625]

I would disagree entirely with dawnoftime. If they have a problem with the implant (given that it works like a normal penis) then they are incredibly shallow, and not worth your time.....or respect for that matter. Or they are just dim.

But what a woman will not tolerate is a penis that doesn't get hard and stimulate them. Therefore you have no choice.

Here, here... amen!!!

Larry

[Phoenix18]

Wow, what a debate now. I’m not sure what to think. I really hope this won’t restrict me or end up in blooming relationships crashing to dust when I reveal. If I get an implant that is.

How stressful. You would hope a nice girl wouldn’t be bothered by this but I can imagine it causing some kind of reaction in her brain and psychology.

[Larry10625]

First, if a woman is that shallow, as far as you having an implant, then I don't think you would want her for a long term partner.

I don't think comments like this are fair or accurate. A person is not "shallow" if they are turned off by an implant! It just means their desire is somehow tied up in a particular idea of a penis or how the body works.

The next person you meet won't care, and this has nothing to do with their level of shallowness, and everything to do with how their desire is wired: they are more interested in your chest muscles, or your laugh or your job or your hair or your feet or they enjoy sex toys (in which case they would most likely be TURNED ON by the implant!).

We do not get to choose our desires, nor can we ever really understand them, so understand that some people will not be into it. But many many more will either not care at all or will (for a multitude of reasons) actually like that you have one.

My plan is to get an implant next year. I am gay though so will be dating guys rather than women. I can tell you as a gay man if someone told me they had an implant, the sex with that person would immediately change on a psychological level, so I am sure for a woman it will be the same: even if there is no physical difference, there will 100% will be a psychological difference. Like I say, whether that is a good or bad difference will depend on the person and how phantasy works in their mind; not their level of superficiality.

My plan is not to tell anyone unless I am interested in seeing them again, and if someone isn't into it (which there 100% will be) then I will fully respect that they just aren't into it. My main worry actually is someone pretending to be indifferent towards it for fear of hurting my feelings (or that they will look shallow!). I would rather they were just honest so I could go find someone that isn't fazed by it - which I will 100% be able to do.

My wife loves me for who I am, not how big my penis is or how I get it up or anything else. What if I had an accident and lost my arm? Should I expect the love of my life to leave me because I had an artificial arm? When I was unable to perform physically and was only able to please her orally and with toys, although it was not the ideal situation, she continued to love and support me. You can try to keep it a secret but I guarantee they will find out and they may be very angry because you lied to them (by not telling them). If someone absolutely feels that they must withhold the implant from a woman they are serious about, they need to be told no later than after the first sexual intercourse encounter. If they are turned of... TOUGH... see ya later shallow woman.

Larry

[Larry10625]

I'd be worried about anyone who wanted to cut off a relationship because of a medical device. We're focused on implants....but what if the condition was removal of your testicles due to testicular cancer? Or a colostomy? Glass eye? Daily eating regimens and insulin injections? Finger Amputation?

There is an important distinction to be made here:

Situation 1: You are in a loving relationship and either (a) you reveal that you have an implant and have been pumping it in the toilet each night or (b) something happens to you and you need to get implanted.

Situation 2: You are on a first or second date with total stranger and reveal you have implant in your penis that will need to be pumped before use.

These are not anywhere near the same thing!

Phoenix18 clearly stated that he was single and so is in situation 2.

In situation 2, this is a person that is not in love with you. This is a stranger that is hanging out with you to see if they could potentially fall in love with you; a process that is completely unconscious. Most people pack in tons of dates over the years, yet only fall in love with a few in the end: we don't get to consciously decide who we love, it happens or it doesn't; we are not making conscious decisions about it.

If this stranger doesn't react to you in the way you want (and they are nice about it), to simply say they are shallow is a defensive move.

Trust me, people can reject you for much less. There is a Seinfeld episode where he doesn't go on a second date with a woman because she ate her peas one at a time! We go off people for all sorts of ridiculous reasons in the early stages of a dating, let alone a serious medical condition!

OK, if you are on a second date and not in love, why are you making love? Oh, it's not making love it's just sex?? Great, go screw a goat... that's sex too. Why should Phoenix18 be condemned to a life without sex just because some bimbo may be turned off? As for the Seinfeld comment... in my opinion, there were very few TV shows more stupid than that one. In my 51 years on planet earth, I don't know of ANYONE that acted like any of those characters on that show. I'm sorry that the members are coming out in force against your opinion but those of us living with the implant can tell you without reservation that it saved their lives in many ways.

Larry

[Newparts]

Im 38. Ive had ED my whole life. I dated a nice girl in college for three years amd struggled significantly with failures in the midst of intimacy. She ended it three years into our relationship because of my ED. She couldnt see herself having her sexuality hindered by my ED all of her life. Once she knew she couldnt marry me and be ok with my problem she left. It hurt alot but I understood. I met my wife about a year later. She has always accepted me. Did she wish I didnt have ED? Yes. Was it so disruptive that she didnt want to be with me? No. We’ve been together 18 years now and have two beautiful daughters. I guess my point is that some women will confirm your fears and reject you because of having ED or if youre implanted, its “weird” etc. But there are good women that will love you despite your failings, struggles, “weird” parts etc. you just have to find the right one and they are out there. Im glad my first serious girlfriend left, she did me a favor. I do think a woman is more likely to leave a man with ED that cant satisfy her vs an implanted man that can successfully have sex every time (even if its not “natural” erection. Good luck pal, its hard having all this as a young guy. Dont let it define you.

[dawnoftime]

I'd be worried about anyone who wanted to cut off a relationship because of a medical device. We're focused on implants....but what if the condition was removal of your testicles due to testicular cancer? Or a colostomy? Glass eye? Daily eating regimens and insulin injections? Finger Amputation?

There is an important distinction to be made here:

Situation 1: You are in a loving relationship and either (a) you reveal that you have an implant and have been pumping it in the toilet each night or (b) something happens to you and you need to get implanted.

Situation 2: You are on a first or second date with total stranger and reveal you have implant in your penis that will need to be pumped before use.

These are not anywhere near the same thing!

Phoenix18 clearly stated that he was single and so is in situation 2.

In situation 2, this is a person that is not in love with you. This is a stranger that is hanging out with you to see if they could potentially fall in love with you; a process that is completely unconscious. Most people pack in tons of dates over the years, yet only fall in love with a few in the end: we don't get to consciously decide who we love, it happens or it doesn't; we are not making conscious decisions about it.

If this stranger doesn't react to you in the way you want (and they are nice about it), to simply say they are shallow is a defensive move.

Trust me, people can reject you for much less. There is a Seinfeld episode where he doesn't go on a second date with a woman because she ate her peas one at a time! We go off people for all sorts of ridiculous reasons in the early stages of a dating, let alone a serious medical condition!

OK, if you are on a second date and not in love, why are you making love? Oh, it's not making love it's just sex?? Great, go screw a goat... that's sex too. Why should Phoenix18 be condemned to a life without sex just because some bimbo may be turned off? As for the Seinfeld comment... in my opinion, there were very few TV shows more stupid than that one. In my 51 years on planet earth, I don't know of ANYONE that acted like any of those characters on that show. I'm sorry that the members are coming out in force against your opinion but those of us living with the implant can tell you without reservation that it saved their lives in many ways.

Larry

Outside of this site, I do not use social media at all. Your response has just confirmed exactly why I don't. To misrepresent what I am saying to such a degree is, I have to say, quite shocking.

[ED2013]

Phoenix 18,

We can all debate forever how women will react to an implant. I completely understand your concern. It’s a tough decision to get an implant. There will come a point where you will decide if you want to get implanted or not. IMHO opinion, this decision is about YOU, not about future girlfriends or wives. You have to play the cards you are dealt. That’s life.

[oldbeek]

For All you young guys:: I have a friend that went through all this crap in his youth. He now has a pod cast called, BrokenBoner radio with Danial Canfield. He works also with San Diego sexual medicine ,run by dr Goldstein, a very respected implant dr. Contacting him or following his podcast may be of help. Google it. He was a big help to me.
Larry, if mentioning another site is not allowed, block out the site and advise those young folks to PM me.

[Larry10625]

For All you young guys:: I have a friend that went through all this crap in his youth. He now has a pod cast called, BrokenBoner radio with Danial Canfield. He works also with San Diego sexual medicine ,run by dr Goldstein, a very respected implant dr. Contacting him or following his podcast may be of help. Google it. He was a big help to me.
Larry, if mentioning another site is not allowed, block out the site and advise those young folks to PM me.

No buddy, you're all good.

Larry

[Larry10625]

There is an important distinction to be made here:

Situation 1: You are in a loving relationship and either (a) you reveal that you have an implant and have been pumping it in the toilet each night or (b) something happens to you and you need to get implanted.

Situation 2: You are on a first or second date with total stranger and reveal you have implant in your penis that will need to be pumped before use.

These are not anywhere near the same thing!

Phoenix18 clearly stated that he was single and so is in situation 2.

In situation 2, this is a person that is not in love with you. This is a stranger that is hanging out with you to see if they could potentially fall in love with you; a process that is completely unconscious. Most people pack in tons of dates over the years, yet only fall in love with a few in the end: we don't get to consciously decide who we love, it happens or it doesn't; we are not making conscious decisions about it.

If this stranger doesn't react to you in the way you want (and they are nice about it), to simply say they are shallow is a defensive move.

Trust me, people can reject you for much less. There is a Seinfeld episode where he doesn't go on a second date with a woman because she ate her peas one at a time! We go off people for all sorts of ridiculous reasons in the early stages of a dating, let alone a serious medical condition!

OK, if you are on a second date and not in love, why are you making love? Oh, it's not making love it's just sex?? Great, go screw a goat... that's sex too. Why should Phoenix18 be condemned to a life without sex just because some bimbo may be turned off? As for the Seinfeld comment... in my opinion, there were very few TV shows more stupid than that one. In my 51 years on planet earth, I don't know of ANYONE that acted like any of those characters on that show. I'm sorry that the members are coming out in force against your opinion but those of us living with the implant can tell you without reservation that it saved their lives in many ways.

Larry

Outside of this site, I do not use social media at all. Your response has just confirmed exactly why I don't. To misrepresent what I am saying to such a degree is, I have to say, quite shocking.

I'm sorry you don't respect my opinion. Phoenix18 is asking for opinions... I have one and I shared it, I'm sorry you don't agree. Misrepresent what you are saying??? I think everyone knows what you are saying... MOST do not agree. Please don't be so dramatic, it is unbecoming of the members of this site who are trying to be supportive of their brothers.

Larry