Penis and sex drive feel dead

The final frontier. Deciding when, if and how.
AmansinCali
Posts: 317
Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2020 2:30 pm
Location: SoCal

Re: Penis and sex drive feel dead

Postby AmansinCali » Thu Jun 02, 2022 3:14 pm

Hey Iwant...

I have not been through this, but as I read through your post I was thinking it may be your body protecting itself. Think about having a badly sprained ankle, the thought of running a 10K doesn't even enter your mind and if it did it would not sound like an activity you would like to do. The experienced guys are telling you it takes time, believe them and relax knowing you will be making progress. I imagine every surgery is different, different doctors, different ages, previous scaring, physical condition, and the like. I feel bad for you, but I am confident you will heal and enjoy your dick again.
Used Viagra & Cialis until lost vision in one eye due to AION, therefore can never use pills again, then tri-mix 1 1/2 years until unreliable. Implanted 9/20/22 at 77 years old by Dr. Yafi, UC Irvine. Married 55 years wife 76. 20cm Coloplast Titan.

Surfshack
Posts: 82
Joined: Mon May 17, 2021 10:31 am
Location: New Jersey

Re: Penis and sex drive feel dead

Postby Surfshack » Thu Jun 02, 2022 4:36 pm

I will say that i just recently started taking CBD oil (non-THC). It has helped me greatly. It gives me daily energy and allows me to feel good without worrying about the trauma to my penis and worrying about the actual performance of sex etc....
My mental anxiety has calmed down significantly and i am worrying less and as a result i better in tune with my body and mentally stronger. I am ok with where i am at and i'm able to achieve better orgasms now but i am extremely gentle with the process. As a result things in my sexual function have gotten better.
I am doing much much better than i was a year ago and i have a much better positive out look.
You can't force yourself to be aroused, it has to happen naturally without trying.
And for you to start curing and healing your pain you have to be gentle in the process. Gentle therapy and don't allow yourself to become obsessed with your penis and sex all time. If you become aroused....go ahead and bring yourself to orgasm but then after put that thing away and forget about it until the next time. Keep a daily routine of some sort of physical exercise. You can even look into message therapy with lower pelvic floor therapist.
55 yrs old. Prostiva procedure (enlarged prostate surgery) June 2019. Also hard flaccid issues. Working thru it (massage/yoga/exercise) and getting better and more mentally positive. Still experiencing ED, hate pills but i'm gonna figure out a way.

Lost Sheep
Posts: 6162
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Penis and sex drive feel dead

Postby Lost Sheep » Thu Jun 02, 2022 9:04 pm

tomas1 wrote:Is your Testosterone in a normal range?
You sound like I felt when I tried weaning myself off T.

If that question was directed at me, the answer is, "yes". Within normal range, though I do not recall if it was high normal, low or in the middle. Bot free Testosterone and total T.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Lost Sheep
Posts: 6162
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Penis and sex drive feel dead

Postby Lost Sheep » Thu Jun 02, 2022 9:09 pm

Gt1956 wrote:I would suggest that your mind is reverting back to how your body reacted your whole life. Meaning if you got aroused, you got an erection. Now, it is easy to have an erection without arousal.
Quit looking at your inflated dick & thinking you should be aroused. Those 2 functions are no longer connected. The important thing is now, if you're aroused? You can easily & promptly get an erection. Totally different timeline to before the ED & the implant.

Your post reminded me of what I felt after implant.

Before ED took my erections my penis was a fairly reliable indicator of my state of sexual arousal/excitment/desire. Now, that indicator is gone and the mental confirmation that I am aroused must come from more subtle clues. I am still sorting out how to read them. But my girlfriend has pointed out that I get nipple erection (which I admit I cannot readily detect). Now, the most reliable signals are that my hands want to explore her body more intimately than usual.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Gt1956
Posts: 3041
Joined: Fri Apr 05, 2019 2:47 pm

Re: Penis and sex drive feel dead

Postby Gt1956 » Thu Jun 02, 2022 10:36 pm

Lost Sheep wrote:
Gt1956 wrote:I would suggest that your mind is reverting back to how your body reacted your whole life. Meaning if you got aroused, you got an erection. Now, it is easy to have an erection without arousal.
Quit looking at your inflated dick & thinking you should be aroused. Those 2 functions are no longer connected. The important thing is now, if you're aroused? You can easily & promptly get an erection. Totally different timeline to before the ED & the implant.

Your post reminded me of what I felt after implant.
Before ED took my erections my penis was a fairly reliable indicator of my state of sexual arousal/excitment/desire. Now, that indicator is gone and the mental confirmation that I am aroused must come from more subtle clues. I am still sorting out how to read them. But my girlfriend has pointed out that I get nipple erection (which I admit I cannot readily detect). Now, the most reliable signals are that my hands want to explore her body more intimately than usual.

Exactly, the arousal & erection are separate now. Sorry but those are the only words that I can think of that explain the new situation.
68yo, HBP at 40, high triglycerides at 45. Phimosis at 57. Type 2 at 60. Dr. William Brant May 1, 2023 CX 21cm w/no rte's penoscrotal 6" girth @ 6 months

Lost Sheep
Posts: 6162
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2016 11:16 pm

Re: Penis and sex drive feel dead

Postby Lost Sheep » Fri Jun 03, 2022 1:11 am

Gt1956 wrote:
Lost Sheep wrote:
Gt1956 wrote:I would suggest that your mind is reverting back to how your body reacted your whole life. Meaning if you got aroused, you got an erection. Now, it is easy to have an erection without arousal.
Quit looking at your inflated dick & thinking you should be aroused. Those 2 functions are no longer connected. The important thing is now, if you're aroused? You can easily & promptly get an erection. Totally different timeline to before the ED & the implant.

Your post reminded me of what I felt after implant.
Before ED took my erections my penis was a fairly reliable indicator of my state of sexual arousal/excitment/desire. Now, that indicator is gone and the mental confirmation that I am aroused must come from more subtle clues. I am still sorting out how to read them. But my girlfriend has pointed out that I get nipple erection (which I admit I cannot readily detect). Now, the most reliable signals are that my hands want to explore her body more intimately than usual.

Exactly, the arousal & erection are separate now. Sorry but those are the only words that I can think of that explain the new situation.

Yes. But now it is up to us (each individual man) to find those OTHER indicators of arousal (other than the now-absent erections that previously informed our minds that we were aroused). Trust me, there are other indicators. We just have to look for them, be sensitive to them, and pay attention to them.

Penile erection was easy to spot. Spongiosum engorgement (for those of us who still have it) is harder to spot. Nipple erection is not present in all men (I think). Mental imagery is always available, but we can fool ourselves into putting the cart before the horse - but hey, at least we have a cart and horse! Does it really matter which comes before which, now that we can gallop, trot, canter or plow at will? Where the penis goes, the mind will follow, almost every time.
Lost Sheep
AMS LGX 18+3 Nov 6, 2017
Prostate Cancer 2023
READ OLD THREADS-ask better questions -better understand answers
Be part of your medical team
Document pre-op size-photos and written records
Pre-op VED therapy helps. Post-op is another matter

Cnidium
Posts: 460
Joined: Mon Oct 03, 2016 7:10 pm

Re: Penis and sex drive feel dead

Postby Cnidium » Fri Jun 03, 2022 6:03 am

iwantanewone wrote:A question that I haven’t seen on Frank talk… I’m two weeks post surgery only… The pain has gone from excruciating to very tolerable now but nonetheless painful which I know should get better over the next 1 to 2 weeks…I am tired of the pain. I had scrotoplasty as well so that is why there is additional pain besides the implant… Tonight as I’m lying in bed on my back which I am not a back sleeper I stare at my erect penis and it feels dead… I don’t have a sex drive Or desire and honestly tired of looking at a dead penis that all it does is hurt and four more weeks to go…Before deflation. I wonder if anyone felt this way in the beginning. It seems most are very excited at the opportunity of being erect and able to have penetrative sex again. I’m with my spouse 36 years and though we enjoyed a normal amount of sex for this degree of a relationship I wonder if I will have the desire again or if I always will feel like I have a dead penis. Perhaps this is Buyers remorse and tired of this feeling so far…I’m just hoping I won’t always have pain from the tubes, the reservoir, the pump and the cylinders forever and that I haven’t wrecked my life by doing this and that eventually all the pain will go away –

I had PD and ED for only two years so I was still kind of functional with meds but with VL also went away so I was not without sex for years and years as some. The ability to sustain an erection then when away and I moved quickly with the decision to have an implant..

Anyone else with these feelings?


Im young, early 30s, implanted for a few years now. I can tell you that I am as horny as ever and the implant didnt stop anything. Had peyronies, VL, curving for years. It took me a few months after surgery for all of the feelings to come back, but they absolutely 100% came back.
Titan OTR. Dr. Hakky - successful surgery and very happy with outcome.
My advice: choose a world-class surgeon and make yourself the healthiest you can.

iwantanewone
Posts: 184
Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2022 11:08 am

Re: Penis and sex drive feel dead

Postby iwantanewone » Fri Jun 03, 2022 9:50 am

Good morning everyone… Thank you for all the replies… It’s certainly giving a perspective from all age groups and different years Of being implanted… I would like to keep this thread going and get others who have not replied to say some thing if they have anything to say. It obviously is a topic that I don’t think has been brought forward on Frank talk before. Thanks again

tomas1
Posts: 2003
Joined: Tue Jul 23, 2013 5:12 pm
Location: Tempe, AZ

Re: Penis and sex drive feel dead

Postby tomas1 » Fri Jun 03, 2022 10:58 am

Lost Sheep wrote:
tomas1 wrote:Is your Testosterone in a normal range?
You sound like I felt when I tried weaning myself off T.

If that question was directed at me, the answer is, "yes". Within normal range, though I do not recall if it was high normal, low or in the middle. Bot free Testosterone and total T.


I was asking OP the question.
86 years
Inject testosterone weekly.
Implant on 1/22/19 by Dr Avila.
Scrotal, hor. incision just over 1"
18cm AMS 700 CX, 3.5cm RTE 100cc res
Gleason 6 prostate cancer. Monitoring it for now.
Update: On my last biopsies the cancer wasn't found.

iwantanewone
Posts: 184
Joined: Tue Mar 22, 2022 11:08 am

Re: Penis and sex drive feel dead

Postby iwantanewone » Fri Jun 03, 2022 5:19 pm

Any other thoughts with the upcoming weekend and more readers?
Feeling better today-just wondering how many have these feelings?


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