Jage64 wrote:ThailandBound wrote:I would take Cialis or Viagra on the down low. She had no idea, and at that time the drugs were working well for me.
This was me. Looking back, the lengths I went to to hide that I was relying on a pill were laughable if they weren't so sad.
I NEVER wanted my wife to think it had anything to do with her, I knew in my heart and my head that she was as attractive and exciting as ever, the little guy just wouldn't respond accordingly. For literally 4-5 years I ordered counterfeit pills from a pharmacy in India, likely risking my life by taking these things made in a mud puddle somewhere with a dirty popsicle stick and toilet brush. But they worked, so I kept ordering and gulping them down. They had to call back to verify the order, so I'd put in my fax machine number (yea, that old) and stand by it to pick it up when it rang and confirm the order. I couldn't risk them calling the home landline or knowing my real cell number in case they called for some reason and she'd find out.
I would hide pills around my house so I could get to one nonchalantly without having to go the medicine cabinet or 'run downstairs to my office' for something when things looked like they were going the right way. We'd go to dinner and I'd worry about what to order, since the pills reacted to the kind of food I stuffed my belly with, or if I should eat much at all.
Sometimes I'd roll the dice and pop a pill when things were looking promising, only to have her change her mind or something come up that interfered with plans. Then I'd suffer through all the miserable side effects without a payoff, that would usually make me grumpy and not help matters.
I got to the point that I'd ask her what time in the evening she wanted to get busy, so I could plan the timing of the dosage. I'd tell her I wanted her to be able to watch a show or read her book to whenever SHE was ready rather than have me dictate the timing, so just give me a ballpark time when you think you'll be "available". When we'd go to a hotel, the first thing I'd do is fish out a couple of pills from my toiletry bag and hide them up high on the shower door frame, the bathroom mirror frame or the top of the armoire in the room. Nowhere she'd ever see, but easily reachable by me. I'm sure I've left some boner pills in rooms forgetting where I hid them when we arrived.
The best part was when the pills started to not work, she was extremely understanding (she's an RN) and told me that we could get help from the doctor, that there were medications available to address the issue. That's when I told her I'd been taking them for 5 years and now they're not working. She was completely surprised.....I had pulled it off! But I still couldn't reliably have PIV intercourse.
For a time, she played along and gave me a hand when I needed it and did everything she could to get me there. Having just gone through breast cancer, her libido was stifled so she wasn't missing much. We fumbled along for about a year trying to figure out what our sex life was going to be.
Then I found Dr. Clavell's videos on YouTube, I showed one of the surgeries to her and we laughed about how crazy it was to put inflatable tubes in your dick. Those guys must be complete horndogs to go through that just to get their dicks artificially stiff. I was glad I wasn't that hard up, seemed a bit pathetic really, guys doing all that just for sex.
Well, here we are, I've had mine for a year and love it. No more side effects, no more sneaking around, it's on demand 24/7. Now we wait for 2 more years until my wife can stop taking hormone blockers due to the breast cancer, she'll hopefully get her mojo back and we'll be off to the races. In the meantime, she's pretty amazing in terms of knowing what gets the job done, and although it's not as pleasurable as it was prior to the cancer, she's a great sport and takes one for the team as often as practical.
Not sure where all that came from, you get a medal if you read it all.