Non-penetrative Sex

[dan_bionic]

I am thinking about an implant. I've been using a strong does Trimix for something like 5 years and it never got me all the way erect.

About 10 years ago my wife had a hysterectomy. Afterwards she doesn't want to be penetrated. I know this may sound weird and there are medications etc. I love her and respect her decision. There are things we do to pleasure each other.

I know that erection is different from orgasm but it sure does feel better with an erection.

So under these conditions is it waste of time and money to get an implant. This would be for me to feel better about myself.
I plan on seeing a doctor in the next month or so and telling him everything. My wife understands my feelings and is OK about it.
What do you all think?

Thanks

Steveg19,
if you suffer from ED and you start feeling despert about your self-confidence

his would be for me to feel better about myself

, then just go for it!

Look, I tell you, even if you don't think about having sex, you could if you wanted.
And even masturbation feels completely different, if you have a cock instead of a weenie.
You’ve got a superpower, something very, very few middle aged dudes have, you could fuck on demand, anytime, anywhere, for as long as you want it.
Your self-confidence will increase and you won't have this kind of feeling to not be a functional man.

Having a "sexual life" again, whatever nature the sex, you'll become functional again.

I just can tell you, go for it!
There are very few risk factors around the surgery (if you choose a good doctor), but the results will be around 90% satisfaction and success.
All the best
Dan

[Ephi82]

There are a lot of cheerleaders here, but there are a lot of downsides to the implant. You will lose the sensation of blood flow, you may damage some nerves, the IPP's will break and then you will be mechanically impotent and have to fight with insurance to cover new devices or go broke trying to fix your "bionic" penis.

I so, so , so regret this and I hope you think very carefully about it.

I think it’s important to have everyone’s perspective but it’s not fair for you to say “ you will lose the sensation of blood flow”. You may feel that way, but for me, and many others, I still feel the rush of blood into the head/glans of my penis when aroused.

It’s also important to note that nerve damage is a very rare complication of the surgery, and while IPPs have a lifetime, at 66 years old, I’ll enjoy the next 10 years of great sexual satisfaction and deal with the issue of revision when I’m 76.

[UpNorth]

Steve
No regrets here. I’m ten days post op and I started having positive feelings even before the bandages came off. The sensations are bringing back memories that I thought I had lost forever. I am impatiently waiting for the green light to say Hey Baby.

[cbinspok]

Steveg
I normally never comment on bros that can’t leave a signature
But this hit close to home for me, five years ago I had a conversation w my wife about making the leap to a implant. She said don’t do it for me I don’t need or want sex any more and didn’t think I should even think about it since she didn’t want it anymore. I said if my arm was broken I would get it fixed, a part of me, a very important part of me is broken! I need to get it fixed. I have zero regrets she even tried early on to have sex but her brain and body were just not into it. I have moved on sexually with out her, we love and are committed to each other but I occasionally step out when opportunity strikes to enjoy sexual passion. She doesn’t want to know details. Its not ideal but works for us. If a part of you doesn’t work and your brain desires sexual fulfillment, you have no choice. Fix your self.
Cheers brother and fill in your signature we have no idea your age etc.

[Kodixx]

steveg19, I agree with the thoughts above including full respect for Mark's. After reading the good, the bad, and the ugly in this forum, I still decided to take a calculated risk. My focus was on how this would affect the relationship with my wife. I figured if it went badly, we could still pleasure each other the ways we'd recently become accustomed to -- even if my level of sensation had decreased. And if it went well, we could again experience each other the way we had come to know for many years. Not to sound like a "cheerleader", but for me this is easily 100+%, even though I have reduced sensation and it takes longer to orgasm. I'm incredibly thankful that she and I are able to experience each other that way again. And this on-demand, reliable, last-until-she's-done-multiple-times erection really is next level stuff. I strongly encourage you to think thru this with your wife, and take the opportunity to explore what is possible for how the two of you might be able to experience each other going forward.

Nicely said, Duke, about the nature of medical interventions. Wow, there’s so much wisdom tucked inside a pill bottle. Thanks again for reminding about our 80% good discussion. Time’s ticking and “good” shouldn't become the enemy of the “best". Full respect to Mark's views during his rough journey. Mark my words (no pun intended) it's only going to get better with each passing day.

[Stevie Reno]

Plenty of good responses. I’ll give you my two cents worth. When the pills and injections stopped working for me, my wife and I still had intimacy - we just didn’t have penetration. But my wife is not comfortable with oral - giving or receiving - so it was always a hand job and those are difficult without an erection. I made the decision to get my implant because it would mean we would resume intercourse - we discussed this in length and she’s on board even though she has no sex drive (we’re 67). But I don’t know that I would have gone this route if it was just gonna be for hard jobs…and I don’t know that I would have gone this route if she was into oral.

One thing to be aware of and think about ahead of time. With an implant you will be able to get an erection anywhere, anytime. I have never cheated on my wife (or on my first wife)…I could claim sainthood but having struggled with ED for many years I suspect my fears had more to do with keeping me from roaming - especially in my first marriage. My wife isn’t very interested in sex but we have intercourse about twice a week…I’m very good with that. But if she suddenly decided that sex is over I’m not sure I wouldn’t find another outlet. I go to gym 3-4 times a week, stay in good shape and most people say I look at least 10 years younger than I am. I’m just not ready to be celibate.

Once you get an implant, you will be able to screw and with a wife who won’t let you in, the temptation is going to be extreme to find a willing partner. Even if it’s just to see how intercourse feels with the implant. Just something to think about.

[Secondchance!]

The original poster never left a signature and has not replied to any of us… in my opinion, it’s time to move onto other threads…

[Kodixx]

Secondchance!, the OP, steveg19, posted 2 days ago. I've often gone several days, even a week or more, without getting on FrankTalk. I just use the tool dropdown (with the wrench) and click Subscribe. I'll see him in Notifications the next time he responds back whether its tomorrow, next week, or next month -- and be glad to help him whenever he's ready.

- Chuck

The original poster never left a signature and has not replied to any of us… in my opinion, it’s time to move onto other threads…

[SWorks17]

Steveg19, I've read all of the replies to your post. I do believe that being able to get a good hard erection will gives you your manhood back. Yes, sex is important to me and I enjoy it.

I got my implant November 2021 and it was great to be able to have sex again after I healed up. My wife had to have a partial hysterectomy in her late fifties and it did change her, she didn't get as wet as before and we started using lubricant to have comfortable sex. My wife has never had a high libido like I have, even in our early marriage it was usually once or twice a week.

A year ago, I encouraged my wife to have her hormones checked and they were low, they probably have always been low.
She started getting HRT with pellets installed under her skin in the glute area. Let me tell you it has been a game changer, we have sex more now that we've ever had. It's not every day but she gets super wet now when we start foreplay and sex is amazing.

So, I say take that hard leap to get yourself fix and encourage your wife to have her hormones checked. It's not too late. I'm 67 and my wife is 62.

I hope you two get the help you need,
SWorks

[BelleBite]

I sign on to FT only occasionally these days.
This thread hit me close to the bone (so to speak ) I am 74 and got my implant two years ago. As many of you have mentioned, having a bionic dick does, indeed, feel different from what I had when I was 25. I, too, have a loss of sensitivity; but I ascribe that more to the radical prostatectomy + radiation I had a couple years prior to the implant surgery. Also, like some have commented, I am married to a women who ceased to have any interest in sex or physical intimacy YEARS ago. When I told her I was going to get an implant her reaction was "What do you want that for?"
It's a guy thing. For me at least, being able to have a strong hard erection does make me feel better about myself. Sometimes I exercise it solo and sometimes I 'step out' and find a partner where and as I can. It's not ideal but it is what is it. Wife doesn't ask or want to know. She is five years older than I and has the attitude that "people at our age don't want sex." Well, I'm not ready to shrivel up and die yet!
Do I miss my 25 year old dick? Hell yes! But I am glad I got the implant!