SIGNING OFF...

[Lost Sheep]

... but I'm certain few of you are capable of helping me take it any farther along. In a way it seems I no longer need what I originally came here for. The ongoing journals of everyone's advanced sexual prowess aren't going to get me anywhere from here on out.

...I feel there is little more I can contribute over what I've posted so far. I'm glad my comments about my radically new sex life have given some hope and encouragement.

...I doubt whatever I'd share would profoundly help anyone.

I thank you for a most heartfelt and enlightening post and beg you to stay as a contributor to Frank talk

My reasons are shown by the excepts taken from your post. I disagree with what you wrote.

There are plenty, not a lot I will admit, but plenty of postings from men (and a gew women) who have commented on the changes made in their relationships after implantation. I have probably going to take place but the support group could use more men of such sensitivity as yourself to tell the stories of recovery from Ed and restoration/renewal/growth of their relationships after treatment.

After all, erectile ability within a relationshp is about about SO much more than hydraulics.

When you have the time, please share with us the story of the recovery of your relationship with your wife as much as you and she are comfortable with.

We sufferers of ED concentrate on the runup to treatment but often give little thought to the aftereffects of being made whole again. Recovery from Ed is a life changing event and examining ourselves in the time afterwards is just as important as the before.

So, please share with us. I believe you're a valuable resource to Frank talk and the support group would be lesser for your absence.

Thanks for reading and for considering my thoughts.

PS. Forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes. I am 3 days post op and typing on my tablet while horizontal is difficult

[Larry10625]

... but I'm certain few of you are capable of helping me take it any farther along. In a way it seems I no longer need what I originally came here for. The ongoing journals of everyone's advanced sexual prowess aren't going to get me anywhere from here on out.

...I feel there is little more I can contribute over what I've posted so far. I'm glad my comments about my radically new sex life have given some hope and encouragement.

...I doubt whatever I'd share would profoundly help anyone.

I thank you for a most heartfelt and enlightening post and beg you to stay as a contributor to Frank talk

My reasons are shown by the excepts taken from your post. I disagree with what you wrote.

There are plenty, not a lot I will admit, but plenty of postings from men (and a gew women) who have commented on the changes made in their relationships after implantation. I have probably going to take place but the support group could use more men of such sensitivity as yourself to tell the stories of recovery from Ed and restoration/renewal/growth of their relationships after treatment.

After all, erectile ability within a relationshp is about about SO much more than hydraulics.

When you have the time, please share with us the story of the recovery of your relationship with your wife as much as you and she are comfortable with.

We sufferers of ED concentrate on the runup to treatment but often give little thought to the aftereffects of being made whole again. Recovery from Ed is a life changing event and examining ourselves in the time afterwards is just as important as the before.

So, please share with us. I believe you're a valuable resource to Frank talk and the support group would be lesser for your absence.

Thanks for reading and for considering my thoughts.

PS. Forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes. I am 3 days post op and typing on my tablet while horizontal is difficult

Very well said. Dave, without guys like you, the experience that people are speaking from, is lost. All we would be left with is guys that cause a lot of shit and get shown the door. We will always need the voice of reason and you have one. Please don't go... Donn, Hugh and the rest of us need well spoken, experienced, common sense speaking members to keep Frank Talk the great ED site it is.

Larry

[Donnie1954]

Dave,
God's richest blessings on you and your wife. The implant definitely does change everything. Your contribution to Frank Talk will be long remembered. Traveling with you on your incredible journey. Even if you don't post regularly. Please consider touching base with us once and a while. Stories of happy relationships encourage us all. Have an incredible life my bionic brother.
Donnie

[DaveKell]

I thank you for a most heartfelt and enlightening post and beg you to stay as a contributor to Frank talk

My reasons are shown by the excepts taken from your post. I disagree with what you wrote.

There are plenty, not a lot I will admit, but plenty of postings from men (and a gew women) who have commented on the changes made in their relationships after implantation. I have probably going to take place but the support group could use more men of such sensitivity as yourself to tell the stories of recovery from Ed and restoration/renewal/growth of their relationships after treatment.

After all, erectile ability within a relationshp is about about SO much more than hydraulics.

When you have the time, please share with us the story of the recovery of your relationship with your wife as much as you and she are comfortable with.

We sufferers of ED concentrate on the runup to treatment but often give little thought to the aftereffects of being made whole again. Recovery from Ed is a life changing event and examining ourselves in the time afterwards is just as important as the before.

So, please share with us.

Well, thanks for these comments. I've rethought my position on leaving and because of what you said am going to stick around. Things have slowed up a lot between me and my wife after our initial exuberant experiences with my new capability. Breaking my back 3 weeks ago at the gym was a big part of it, but even before that we began hitting a lull for a few days. I behaved like an adolescent boy after getting it wet again and expected my wife to be as enthusiastic as I was about getting it on all the time. For awhile she was but that waned. Being a woman, a whole different psychology is at work as we all know. For years she had accepted me in my walled off condition emotionally ED foisted into my psyche. She had long ago accommodated my lack of participation in her life. I didn't consciously choose to shut down on her, but I see now how gradually my misery was dumped on her because I could no longer function as a man for her. There are an infinite number of other aspects to a marriage besides just sex, but as a man, sex was always predominant in my mind. Without it, few things in life held my interest anymore and this deterioration permeated my personality.

Like a lot of couples where ED wedges into the picture, we were basically just roommates for years. I developed a quick temper and unfairly lashed out at the slightest provocations. I became the poster boy for overreacting with little regard for my hurtful comments at times. That is where I have a long way to go in rebuilding our relationship. The things I used to do for her I've got to start doing again. We always used to shop together, I quit doing that. We always used to clean the house together, I stopped doing that. We always used to go out on dates, we haven't had one in years. I used to touch her a lot in non sexual ways, I can't even begin to guess how many years ago that stopped. I used to compliment her on her looks, that too went by the wayside long ago. Just being able to have great sex again is beginning to pale in comparison to everything that should be an aspect of a good marriage.

I should add it isn't all on me. My wife has a ways to go in this as well. She developed a combativeness towards me over the dry years that still creeps in at times. I take all the blame for it though. I pulled away from her as a result of my unhappiness. We had a great life before ED came around and we'll have a great life again from here on out. ED should be classed as a form of cancer because of how it eats away at a man's self esteem and self worth. Unlike most cancers though, it can be completely cured as mine has been. I'm completely 100% satisfied with the outcome of my implant and have already accepted the hardware in my body as normal for me from here on out. I shouldn't be expecting my wife to share my desire for using it all the time without putting all the other puzzle pieces in place as well. I'm committed to working on that. I want my wife's happiness above all and must become the man again she wants sex with all the time. I long ago gave up trying to figure out why women get horny when a guy does the dishes, but it's a proven fact they do. I'm just glad I can look forward to being made a whole person again now that the ability to have sex will never again be in question. I'll keep y'all updated on the progress. Also, I'm about to consider being renamed Dave3.0!

[Lost Sheep]

Thanks, Dave, for that heartfelt and insightful comment about restoring the full spectrum of your relationship in addition to and as a result of the restoration of the sexual aspect of your relationship.
.
I am happy that's such an intropective and thoughtful man as yourself has decided to stay to help the rest of us.

Without authority, i would like to invite your wife, if she would consider it, to contribute her thoughts and feelings. I think they would be highly valuable.

[radioradio]

Dave,

I'm SO glad you changed your mind!

Your post literally brought tears to my eyes. Some of the details are different, but reading your insightful post felt like I was reading about me, my wife, our history, our relationship and all of the ways ED has been a contributing factor in so many of the little things that have made us drift apart. And man are you right that this sudden death of ED doesn't change everything overnight --- especially for our wives.
Thanks so much for sharing this and for sticking around. Yours have been some of the most insightful posts I've read since joining FT.
And thanks for letting me adopt your model revision numbering system . I love the thought of becoming version 3.0!
Bob
2.3

[Anonymous3]

Dave
Thank you our situations are very much alike. The implant is just the physical part of ED. Now comes the hard part, as you said restoring the relationship

[Smetro]

Dave
thank you for highlighting just how delicate relationships are and just what it takes to maintain them.
I know for a fact that much of what you say is relevant to the breakdown in my marriage of 21 years....not the same...but a gradual building of walls that resulted in a massive upheaval that continues to resonate for myself and my kids.
Sadly I can't go back...and yes I now have the delectable Miss H however, I didn't really want to lose 21 years of my life.
So......if I had my time over I would have sought professional help in the guise of a couples therapist.....and now that I am implanted and desiring of sex, probably one who specialises in sexual counselling.
It's a minefield and I am very, very mindful of how I relate to my new partner and goddess. I will do my utmost to avoid falling into all the traps Dave points out by remembering that communication is the key.

[rockyrocky]

Smetro

Will always remember your advice 'whoa Rocky....slow down man'

[Donnie1954]

Dave my bionic brother,
I'm so glad you have decided to stay with us. I will never leave Frank Talk unless I die. It is such a valuable part of my life. I try to be as open and honest with my wife as I can, however there are things about me that I pray she will never know. She would never understand and blame herself. I love her so but I am a man with needs and desires she will never be able to fulfill. Nothing will change my love for her. My friend, be as open and honest with your wife as you can. I hate having to hide this part of my life from her but I have no choice. Pray for me as I will be praying for you. No one on Earth understands like a Frank Talk brother. A brother for life!
Your brother, Donnie