Quoting the original post:
needhelp wrote:I have a question that's been bothering me for over a yr since my implant. This question is really geared for the guy who is in the dating market. Some one who dose not have a wife or in a long term relationship. This makes things a little different for some of us. I did not have ED for any time, mine came from an accident. Im trying to keep things as natural as possible. What I miss is when your on a first date and things get out of control. One thing leads to another and you start tearing your cloths off each other. What do you do?? Stop and run in the bathroom and kill the mood? There's a time and place for everything and I don't think laying it on her that you have to pump up to get it hard is the place. Dose anybody have any ideas on how to keep it as natural as possible and not bring attention to her. I heard some guys say their GF does not know he has a implant ...... how? Any thoughts or ideas??
I thought I would revisit some other points of the O.P.
"trying to keep things as natural as possible"
"kill the mood"
"time and a place for everything and I don't think laying it on her that you have to pump..."
So, to keep it as natural as possible and not bring it to her attention, is one possible path in your quest for sex. Another possible goal is to bring it to her attention since one of the "unnatural" affects of an implant is that the erection is for all practical purposes, indefatigable. Besides, a woman's nature is to be curious and an erection on demand has got to be one of the more fascinating things a woman can behold (look up the biography of the Greek God, Fascinus for a kick).
Keeping it appearing and feeling as natural as possible for her is a good goal. Keeping her coming back for more is a good goal, too.
On the one hand you could let her know that your endurance is the product of medical science or, on the other hand, you could let her think that you are simply endowed with an ever-ready erection (like Priapus and Fascinus, among other societies' deities so endowed).
Both are viable choices. I have made my choice clear, but I understand yours. There are good reasons to keep your prosthetic secret. One thing is that such secrets, if widespread in your social group may affect your reputation (for good or for ill) among your peers (and ex-lovers are not always discreet about revealing secrets). Your own self-image about being a "natural stud" instead of needing a crutch (I will leave out the lecture about self-deception and denial). What YOU THINK about what your lover thinks about you is another barrier to candor between you (which candor is usually a GOOD thing unless you don't actually like and trust her as a friend, in which case, "What the hell are you doing in bed with her for anyway?") Then there is also the self-aggrandizement of being able to impress her with your erectile durability - It is a wonderful ego boost to hear a woman say "OMG, I never had so many orgasms in my life and OMG, you are still HARD?"
So, yeah, I understand the desire to keep your implant a secret.
But I always return to my mantra:
Women are incredibly supportive and understanding if they feel trusted, respected and SAFE with you.
Then there is this thread:
viewtopic.php?f=6&t=12167&p=105570Wherein there are a number of self-promoting slogans, bumpersticker phrases and t-shirt sayings guaranteed to catch the eye (and imagination) of young ladies.
which has among its ideas:
I bring new meaning to the phrase, "Inflatable Boyfriend"
There are benefits to advertising.
You have received much good advice about how to pump to erection surreptitiously.
1 pump to partial erection before even leaving your home
2 pump a little more after you meet a sexual candidate (this may create the illusion that she is the author of your ardor)
3 undress her from behind and slip in a quick pump or two while she is not looking
4 pump while fumbling with a condom (downside of this is that it is often a turn-on for HER if she puts the condom on you)
5 excuse yourself to the toilet for a moment of privacy and return fully erect (though this may arouse questions in her mind if she is at all of a suspicious nature
6 how to avoid explaining the pump bulb and the pump body in particular, being angular and hard, which are nearly impossible to hide is a question not fully addressed.
Question: Is it possible to combine the two approaches to receive the best benefits of both? That is, let her know that you have this device, but let her keep the illusion that it is natural. Self deception and denial work both ways. Women engage in fantasy, too, and enjoy her man of the evening joining in whole-heartedly.
Shakespeare Hamlet Act 2, scene 2, "The play's the thing"
So, go play and enjoy.
But do not do so lightly. It is not right to spoil the woman for other men in the future. "When folly tempts us, may we recollect what memories may the wretch who, to gratify his vanity, trifles with the affections of a woman, shall have remorse for his companion..." (If anyone knows the source of this quote, please report it to me so I may get the text correct.)
Be good (in both senses of the word).