Another mid-30’s implant journal

[Endoftheline]

I’m 35 and have been suffering ED since becoming sexually active. I had some trauma to my penis from a motorcycle accident at 19, but I healed and my diagnosis was psychological origin, though Cialis definitely helped. Effectiveness for me has diminished in recent years, and now all it does is give me a headache.

Regardless of cause, the end result is the same: my dick doesn’t work, and with my last 5 or more hookups I had no serviceable erection, or one that lasted only minutes, or only with my partner on top. You’re all familiar with the embarrassment, and that fear of whether I’ll be able to get it up and keep it up has colored every sexual encounter I’ve had my entire life.

I looked into an implant 5 years ago, but was hesitant to go down an irreversible surgical path, especially because I had read accounts of losing size. So in addition to the pharmaceuticals I tried everything else: getting in shape to deal with body insecurity, lots of cardio to help with blood flow, hypnosis, testosterone replacement therapy to go from low-average to high-average.

Well, none of it worked, and in December I finally had that moment of clarity: despite all efforts, my ED has only gotten worse and will not improve with age. I’m faced with 3 possible paths forward:
1. No implant, dick doesn’t work
2. Implant fails, dick doesn’t work
3. Implant succeeds, dick works

The only path with a positive outcome is the implant, so my decision was easy. I did a video consult with Dr. Clavell in December, and a month later I’m in Houston for surgery tomorrow. I’ll stay here for a few days to rest and ice before flying home on Saturday.

I know the recovery can be long and uncomfortable. I know that if I’m lucky enough to live an average lifespan I’ll have this surgery another half-dozen times or more. But I have no doubt that I’m making the right choice, and I hope to be in the 95% of patients who are satisfied with their implant. I feel confident in my decision, eager to put my dating anxieties behind me, and nervous about complications — all simultaneously, somehow.

I greatly appreciate the information shared on FT by members of all ages, and I found the journals from members in my age range to be particularly helpful at giving me the reassurance to finally pursue an implant at a younger age than most. I don’t have the writing stamina to match Merrix’s wealth of journaling, but I will try to keep a log of the meaningful milestones for the next few months as another resource for those young(ish) men doing research like I was.

Did you do any tests before getting authorized for the implant? What did you guys talk about in your online consultation? And how do you feel about it now? Im heavily considering the implant so i hope you are feeling positive and happy about your decision

[SearchingUSA]

Hey SearchingUSA,

I have my surgery booked with Dr Clavell next month also.

I'm a bit concerned about feeling the tubing in my scrotum... Can you elaborate more on this?

How is your pump placement is it in between your two testicles or infront of them?

Thanks

When I had my 6-week follow up appointment with Dr. Clavell, he told me that he places the pump the same way in every procedure, but inevitably there is variation between patients in where the pump ultimately settles. My scrotum is on the small side, probably partially because I generally have a smaller frame being only 5' 7", but maybe also because I've been doing TRT for ~5 months prior to surgery and it's possible that my scrotum shrank along with my balls. That smaller scrotum may have led to the pump being pushed more towards the front, but I have a feeling that if I can get the fascia to stop adhering to the pump and the tubing, the pump will settle between or behind my testicles.

I wouldn't worry too much about having the same problem as me, my understanding is that this outcome is pretty rare. And it's not permanent, either. If I'm not able to separate the hardware from my fascia, I can always get a second surgery, and I imagine there's a different combination of meds that I can take that would prevent this from occurring in future healing processes.

[SearchingUSA]

Did you do any tests before getting authorized for the implant? What did you guys talk about in your online consultation? And how do you feel about it now? Im heavily considering the implant so i hope you are feeling positive and happy about your decision

I answered your private message, but I'll post my reply here as well in case it helps others:

I had a rather straightforward consultation with Dr. Clavell. We reviewed my prior treatment history, which included trying every oral ED medication in various doses, as well as the general lifestyle factors: non-smoker, light drinker, normal BMI, testosterone and other relevant hormones/bloodwork in-range.

Dr. Clavell felt it was possible that I had a venous leak, but didn't require me to undergo testing to prove it -- regardless of the cause, my ED had steadily gotten worse over time, and since I had already explored all treatments aside from injections the best remaining option was an implant.

So if you're looking to move on with your life and get this surgery, there are definitely surgeons that will perform this procedure without the further delay of diagnostic tests that may or may not tell you why your dick doesn't work. No idea if that's Eid's approach, but that definitely seems to be Dr. Clavell's approach, and I appreciate the solution-oriented approach.

On one hand, I wish I had gotten this surgery when I was your age or even younger, as it's absolutely an improvement over the inconsistent erections I've had. On the other hand, having waited until I exhausted all other practical treatment methods and addressable causes, I've endured the surgery and the recovery with the peace of mind of knowing that regardless of how the surgery turned out, I wouldn't be any worse off than I would be if I hadn't had it.

[AverageBloke]

Hey Bro,

Just sent you a private message. Please check when you get a chance.

[wolfpacker]

Did you do any tests before getting authorized for the implant? What did you guys talk about in your online consultation? And how do you feel about it now? Im heavily considering the implant so i hope you are feeling positive and happy about your decision

I answered your private message, but I'll post my reply here as well in case it helps others:

I had a rather straightforward consultation with Dr. Clavell. We reviewed my prior treatment history, which included trying every oral ED medication in various doses, as well as the general lifestyle factors: non-smoker, light drinker, normal BMI, testosterone and other relevant hormones/bloodwork in-range.

Dr. Clavell felt it was possible that I had a venous leak, but didn't require me to undergo testing to prove it -- regardless of the cause, my ED had steadily gotten worse over time, and since I had already explored all treatments aside from injections the best remaining option was an implant.

So if you're looking to move on with your life and get this surgery, there are definitely surgeons that will perform this procedure without the further delay of diagnostic tests that may or may not tell you why your dick doesn't work. No idea if that's Eid's approach, but that definitely seems to be Dr. Clavell's approach, and I appreciate the solution-oriented approach.

On one hand, I wish I had gotten this surgery when I was your age or even younger, as it's absolutely an improvement over the inconsistent erections I've had. On the other hand, having waited until I exhausted all other practical treatment methods and addressable causes, I've endured the surgery and the recovery with the peace of mind of knowing that regardless of how the surgery turned out, I wouldn't be any worse off than I would be if I hadn't had it.

Just wanted to add that this is definitely Dr Eid's approach too. We had a phone consult where I told him about everything I had tried and how long my ED had been going on (tried all the pills + injections, ED for 7-8 years), told him I wanted the implant and we booked a surgery date after that. We did have an appointment in person the day before surgery where we did the Doppler ultrasound thing but I suspect that was just to make himself more lawsuit-proof so people can't act like he does surgery prematurely. I agree with that you said and I think Eid does too, if you have tried all treatments, have done all the blood/hormone tests, there's no sense chasing some imaginary cure to your ED. It's not gonna fix itself.

[SearchingUSA]

I bring a very positive update. I'm going to cover a lot of territory in much less detail than I have in the past, but I didn't want to leave this thread on a note that might dissuade other guys from getting this life-changing surgery. I'm putting the most important info up top, and the doctor/medical stuff below.

Right, so. The reason we're all doing this: I finally had the opportunity to put my bionic equipment to the test with a partner. This was an out-of-town friend of a friend, we went on a date in July but nothing more than kissing due to travel and work obligations. She planned a trip back and set aside two date nights for us, so I had a good idea of where this was headed.

Gentlemen, especially those of you who are considering this surgery: can you remember a time when you were totally hitting it off on a date. You've taken her to a cozy restaurant, went for ice cream, and now you're in a dark, comfortable bar. She's leaning her head towards you in the conversation, her eyes are soft, every joke is funny. You've both had a drink or two and now you're sharing a cab back to your place.

You're not fighting down a sense of dread that your body isn't going to respond like she expects it to and this perfect night is going to be ruined. You're not wishing this cab ride to last forever so that you can enjoy her warm body clutching your arm in anticipation, knowing that at the end of this ride her confidence and affection will turn into concern and disappointment. You're not hoping hoping hoping that this time your body will do what it's supposed to do, what everyone else seems to be able to do effortlessly, not wondering why you are so broken that even pills and injections can't fix you.

Instead, you can't keep a smirk off your face because you know what's going to happen next. You're going to take her inside, keeping the lights low, and offer a drink. You'll excuse yourself to the bathroom, where you'll run the sink and splash some water on your face, squeeze the pump a dozen times so that your erection is strong but you can still tuck it into your waistband. You leave the bathroom, the drink is ignored, and clothes are coming off. When you spring loose, she pulls you towards the bedroom.

She lays back on the bed. You're not in any rush. You're not worried that if you don't enter her right now, your erection will pass and that will be it. You can take your time and caress her thighs, her stomach, and everything between. When you get a condom, you unravel it slowly, and your erection doesn't dip at all.

Penetration is slow and patient. When her breathing changes, you stay in that position for awhile. When her breathing eases, you slowly adjust and search for a different angle, depth and rhythm. 2 hours pass. She has two orgasms. You both suddenly realize you're exhausted, and as you lie next to each other, she whispers, "you have legendary endurance." You wonder if being good at sex is really as simple as just having the patience granted by an unlimited erection.




My brothers. We went at it again in the morning for another 2 hours. She wanted to spend every night of the rest of her visit at my place, but we were both so sore that all we could do was oral.

This implant is a blessing. Go to a top implant surgeon, accept the 1% risk of surgical complications, have patience for a recovery that may take months, and then start living your full life.

I've mentioned in a previous update that the pump hardware had adhered to the front of my scrotum after surgery. There hasn't been much progress on that, and in the 6 week virtual follow-up Dr. Clavell prescribed me a course of anti-inflammatories to help promote separation, along with instructions to try and pry the scrotum off the hardware.

Over the past week there has been some progress. Previously, the fascia that thickly wrapped around the bulb and deflate button gave a very meaty feel to squeezing the bulb, and also made it difficult to feel the button and deflate it. With a lot of steady pulling and twisting, the fascia is now mostly separated from the bulb except for along one stubborn axis, and the deflate button is easy to locate and access.

However, the most prominent issue is that the tubing that runs from the pump to the inflatable rods is still firmly embedded in fascia along the front of my scrotum. As this tubing is rather firm, it juts forward prominently. Typically, our pelvis would be the 'hilt' of the penis, but in this case the hilt created by the tubing would hit a partner during penetrative sex. As the tubing tends to be the failure point, I'm not inclined to subject it to getting repeatedly slammed against a partner, so I won't be having sex until I can get the tubing to separate from the fascia in the scrotum.

When will that be? I don't know. I just took the last anti-inflammatory today, and I'll continue with my manual manipulation of the scrotum and the hardware. In the meantime, I'm pumping at least twice daily to try and maximize my size.

I remain optimistic that this will all work itself out with more time and effort. Unlike my ED that was only getting worse over time regardless of my efforts, I'm grateful that this is a problem that I can actually do something to help fix and will eventually be solved.

In April, Dr. Clavell referred me to a colleague local to the LA area, Dr. Yafi, so I wouldn't have to take a trip back to Houston. Yafi said that I shouldn't have any problems using my implant as is, but if I was bothered by the appearance, doing a revision to tuck the pump behind my balls would pull the tubing back and keep it from protruding. He considered it a cosmetic procedure, the functionality of the implant wasn't impaired. I went ahead and had the revision in June (delayed due to me catching covid), and everything went well.

--------------------------------------Doctor stuff, skip if you want----------------------------------------------------
A note about my experience and the difference between the two doctors: Dr. Yafi is an excellent surgeon and I'm very happy with his work. That said, I will do all my future surgeries with Dr. Clavell, if possible.
When I was having my surgery, my interactions with Dr. Clavell were:
- Visiting my hospital room to see if I had any questions or concerns
- Visiting me in the pre-surgical area to check in for any last questions or concerns before surgery
- Visiting my hospital room post-surgery to tell me how the surgery went and answer any questions before he left for the day, provided his personal cell phone number and said to text if I had any issues
- Called me the next morning to reiterate what he said after surgery (because patients' brains can be fuzzy post anesthesia) as well as additional details
- Checked in with me regularly over the next 72 hours to get updates and answer questions. The dude even answered my text at something like 11pm when I had some dumb concerns about fluid retention and swelling
- Continued checking in with me to make sure my flight home went ok and healing was progressing
- 30 day post-op virtual appointment
- Continued checking in with me about my concerns about the tubing and referred me to local CA doctors for physical examination
- I've texted him about a few things in recent months related to the Yafi revision and he has still been super helpful and friendly

My interactions with Dr. Yafi around the surgery were:
- Visiting me in the pre-surgical area to check in for any questions or concerns before surgery
- I called his office a few days after the surgery to find out what he encountered (it was unknown if the tubing would need to be replaced, shortened, or just adjusted with the pump) and hear how the surgery went, and his office indicated that it was unusual to request this information before having the 30-day post op appointment. The office called back to let me know they spoke with Dr. Yafi and apparently the surgery went as expected. (ok......)
- 30 day post-op appointment

Again, I think Yafi is great, I'm really happy with the work he did. But Clavell sets the bar for patient care, and when you're dealing with such a sensitive part of the anatomy it's incredibly reassuring to know that your doctor is keeping you fully informed and making sure you're healing correctly.

-----------------------------------------------End of doctor stuff--------------------------------------------------------------

[googly3]

What a great read, and good writing style too! Glad you're doing good man, hope the same for all implantees. The anxiety filled cab ride part is so true. Same feeling in so many different scenarios. I have been able to use Cialis for sex but there's always the feeling of anxiety of when the dick will go down, always a rush to fuck and get done. Sometimes I just want to be done with it and get the implant, just for the mental benefits. But since I'm in my early 30s too, it also makes sense to prolong the pill use as long as one can and then go to the last option (implant).

Either way, good luck with the girl bro and keep sharing updates here. It helps a lot.

[SearchingUSA]

What a great read, and good writing style too! Glad you're doing good man, hope the same for all implantees. The anxiety filled cab ride part is so true. Same feeling in so many different scenarios. I have been able to use Cialis for sex but there's always the feeling of anxiety of when the dick will go down, always a rush to fuck and get done. Sometimes I just want to be done with it and get the implant, just for the mental benefits. But since I'm in my early 30s too, it also makes sense to prolong the pill use as long as one can and then go to the last option (implant).

Either way, good luck with the girl bro and keep sharing updates here. It helps a lot.

Hey, thanks, I appreciate the encouragement. My personal opinion, feel free to ignore: If you know that pills are losing their effectiveness, you're feeling anxious about your ability to perform and an implant is in your future, don't wait. Assuming good health and no premature death, us younger guys are going to get 4-8 implants (the lower number assumes newer models with improved durability) in our lifetime.

So whether you get it now or 5-10 years from now, you're probably just saving yourself one surgery in exchange for prolonging an anxious or compromised intimacy during the best remaining years of your life. The implant turns you into a fucking god (pun intended), if I had known that it wouldn't cause permanent size decrease and stretching exercises would actually increase 1cm+ girth and length over my pre-surgery size, I would have gotten it as soon as I could. The implant already feels like it's just a regular part of my body, like humans evolved to be able to manually raise and lower their erections.

But ultimately it's a personal decision, and everyone's interpretation of risk is different. Best wishes to all my brothers in this struggle with ED.

If I go inactive on the forum, it's probably because I don't identify as someone who has problems with sex anymore, and I'm busy living my life. My participation now is just paying it forward for all the journals I read on here that gave me the information I needed to make this decision.

[Witheringhog]

Such a nice post, replying only to bump the thread, maybe others will enjoy as much as I did.