My Journal

[stephen54]

Hi Stephen,

Thanks for your response.
I read your ten-month update very carefully. I'm very pleased that everything is going well. It is extremely encouraging to read reports like yours.
Regarding the loss of size and thickness that you report, when reading your message, I called my attention to one thing.
It has to do with the number of bombs you use to reach a maximum inflation.
If I remember correctly, he says he uses about 30 pumps to achieve maximum stiffness.
With a 28 CM Titan, it seems like a very small number of bombs.
There are users who get more pumps with smaller cylinders.
Can't this have something to do with the loss of size that do you report?
It was just an idea that came to me ...

Interesting. I'm not really sure. There is a point with the ball where, when depressing it to facilitate an inflation pump, mine just gradually decreases the amount of fluid it's moving into the cylinders and then, soon, the ball goes hard as a rock. Surgeon told me when you get that point where very firm pressure meets rock-like resistance...stop attempting to pump. Not sure what the "or else" scenario would be but not interested in finding out.

To your point, though...there are "full pumps" where the ball flattens and reinflates seemingly very fully...and I get maybe 12-15 of those. Then I keep pumping and the ball seems like it doesn't fill fully, maybe it's like a half or 3/4 of a fill, but I'm calling that a "pump". I've gone higher, probably high 20's or even 30 total pumps, with a handful of those being partial fills. I assume the variable has been how much fluid I returned out of the cylinders into the reservoir last session; ie, since I have this sort of contorted, awkward way of emptying my cylinders, I believe sometimes I'm just leaving fluid in my shaft. So the next time I pump up, maybe there is already 15% capacity of fluid already in the cylinders so there's less to access in the reservoir so there's less possible pumps to "full".

Hell, I don't know!? In the early weeks after surgery, because of the difficulties I was having deflating, I was in the doc's office I think maybe 5 times over the 6-8 weeks immediately post op, and I cycled myself up with my surgeon present and even his fellow and PA. Their opinion was that I was maxed out full and I remember counting pumps sort of absentmindedly and it was always in the 20s. Regardless...at this juncture I'm where I'm at. I've reconciled myself to it. I'm totally at peace despite the sizing. Consider myself exceedingly fortunate at the moment to have the on-demand sex, and the kinds of sex we're having, and just hope this thing is healthy and with me for a lot of years...

[merrix]

Some questions on PM which I prefer to answer here, as my purpose of hanging around is to try to help people, answering here will serve that purpose better...

First, I want to thank you for such a wonderful journal. I hope some day (next year?) to be implanted by Dr. Eid while he is still practicing and this provides me with important information.
I have only navigated about half of the 68 pages of the journal and perhaps this question is answered in the remaining pages, so please forgive me if it is. I know that your pump bulb eventually became easier to squeeze the more you used it, but was it the same case for the release button? That seemed to be the one that gave you more of a problem. As you stated, if someone like you who has great hand strength and dexterity had difficulty then if would be nearly impossible for a person (like me) who has arthritis to depress it. Did you ever mention the release button problem with Dr. Eid?
Many thanks for your important contribution to FT.

My pump is still quite stiff. Which I take as a good thing - as in it is not getting worn out. I can barely achieve the first squeeze with one hand. I just use two hands to make it simpler. When I pump up, there is no way I can get my implant 100% full with one hand. Once I cannot press the pump anymore with one hand, I can continue to do many more with two hands. To get that crazy hardness I just keep pumping with two hands till I absolutely cannot squeeze one drip more.
The release button has gotten softer. Most of the times I release it with one hand while I am still inside. The release valve still works like a charm. I just give it one long hard squeeze for about 3-4 seconds. Then I do nothing. Just wait for my dick to go soft by itself. No squeezing of the shaft, no pressing of the pump bulb after deflating to "lock" the valve and to avoid auto-fill. Just that one long hard squeeze of the valve, and then I don't touch anything till it's time to inflate again.


Hi Merrix,
I read your journal recently. In it you mention loss of sensation along the shaft,
however it didn't effect functionality.
You mentioned this relatively early after the surgery.
Has this sensitivity improved years later?

Firstly, it is actually kind of hard to do these comparisons. For me to think back to what my dick felt like 5 years ago isn't all that easy. But I would say that my sensitivity has came back. It is definitely a noticeable difference vs right after implant. My sensitivity loss was never really an issue. I could still easily come. But whatever degree of sensitivity loss there was, I think it is completely recovered.


Hey Merrix,
Going through stiffness right now with my tubing, and has been going on for a while (6 mos). Is this 'normal'?
Since I am uncut also, whenever I pull my foreskin back, it feels like I pull it when I have a hard on...its a little tight.
I can't wear jeans or underwear (tighty whiteys) because the pressure pushing my dick down gets to be too much.
Do you remember going through something like this when you 1st got implanted?

Not really sure what stiffness with the tubing means. I struggled for the first 1-2 months after implant with stiffness of my dick... But that was a gradual process, and as time went by, my flaccid turned out great. Plenty of pics in this thread. I never notice any stifness of my tubing.
I couldn't really wear tight jeans in the early days either. It would be uncomfortable and weird looking. I would say it took perhaps 2-4 months before that problem was out of the world.
Foreskin... Yes, I think it is natural that the foreskin cannot cover your dick as well as in the past. Flaccid dick is larger, but foreskin is the same as befoer. In my case, it is tighter as well, but not to the point where it matters. I have noticed that sometimes when my foreskin retracts by itself in my underwear, the foreskin gets kind of swollen as it sits behind the glans. The solution has been to leave a few pumps in my dick. This helps in two ways I think.
1 - with a slightly firmer flaccid I can keep it sideways in tight underwear and the tightness of the underwear will keep the foreskin in place.
2 - a few pumps makes my dick rounder, which I think helps with blood flow, so that even if my foreskin retracts, there is no swelling.


Hi merrix,
Hope all is well. I’ll keep it brief. I am 2X years old and just had a penile implant procedure carried out on me by Dr David Ralph in the UK this fall. I’ve read through your journal and would like to ask, is sex possible in any position with the implant? You mention having sex with your wife in missionary position and do make mention that it might be difficult in other positions but are not clear on this. Can you please elaborate?
Thanks

I have never had any problem to have sex in any position. Since a couple of years ago, I pump my implant to the maximum for penetrative sex. The positions I normally do all work fine even with that hardness. The good thing is though, that if needed, hardness can be adjusted.
In my case, the only thing I use lower hardness for sometimes is oral. I think the feeling is just better for oral when the implant is considerably softer than the crazy hardness of my maximum two-handed inflation.
My partner however sometimes struggles a little bit with the maximum hardness in some positions when I come in really deep. Again, this is easily fixed. Don't use those positions, let some hardness out when switching to those positions, or don't go full depth when using those positions. There is always a solution.

[Smetro]

My 2 cents worth on sensitivity:
For almost 3 years I had to finish by hand, then out of the blue 6 months ago I ejaculated inside my partner. I can only deduce that my sensitivity restored itself........sex still always felt fantastic but I couldn’t ejaculate vaginally.
Now I can....every time.
Gotta love implants!

[FMLFML85]

.

[Smetro]

Smerto any chance that you have done testosterone injections ever?

No FM.... no injections...but I use Testogel- 1 sachet per day

[merrix]

My 2 cents worth on sensitivity:
For almost 3 years I had to finish by hand, then out of the blue 6 months ago I ejaculated inside my partner. I can only deduce that my sensitivity restored itself........sex still always felt fantastic but I couldn’t ejaculate vaginally.
Now I can....every time.
Gotta love implants!

Yeah... I think me and Smetro agree on most things in general, but in particular just exactly this: Reaching the final product after implant surgery is an extremely slow process. Which may never happen, actually. I begin to believe that perhaps things will never stop evolving or changing.
The most obvious changes are related to the quality (angle and stiffness) of the flaccid and the size. Both take years before they reach the final station. Even though changes are of course more dramatic for the first 2-4 months, they do subtly continue for years.

Other things that have kept changing over the years for me is for example the preferred hardness. I started out with a total inability to use the maximum hardness of my Titan. I just thought that my glans did not swell up if I pumped too hard, and also thought my dick felt overall "plastic" and artificial. I sort of felt the implant inside me. My wife also thought that things were better if I did not pump to the maximum.
So that's what I did for the first couple of years or so.
Then I gradually started to inflate harder. The issues from the past just weren't there anymore. My glans did still get full and hard. My shaft did not feel plastic and artificial. Suddenly it felt just as natural as with a softer level of inflation. And - perhaps more surprisingly - my wife did not anymore feel uncomfortable with maximum hardness. Which in hindsight probably had more to do with my lack of blood flow to the glans in the beginning when inflating to the max than the hardness itself. A blood filled glans acts as a cushion.
And what is the latest? I have started to prefer to hold back a bit on the inflation again. Not back to the level where my preference was 4 years ago, but still just a bit softer than the 100% I used to like for a few years lately.

What else has changed? Well, I never used to leave anything in my dick during the day. When I deflated, I always deflated completely. Which in my case is done by just pressing the deflation valve for 3-4 seconds and nothing else. This drains my dick completely, down to the level where I feel my cylinders flatten in my dick. I have been convinced that this provides a number of advantages.
- A completely full reservoir minimizes the risk of scar tissue forming around a less-than-full reservoir which could potentially create auto-fill or even the inability to completely deflate. Which in turn would create a poor flaccid. Especially with a Titan.
- It makes my flaccid very pliable and soft and makes my angle very natural hanging. Meaning that even though my flaccid dick is about the size of an average erection, it is invisible in my pants, even tight ones.
- Completely empty cylinders do not cause unnecessary pressure on the tissue. Which means that I minimize the risk of my angle being worsened over time due to loose play. I.e. the risk that a constant pressure on the tissue will expand them over the years, enough to cause a poor angle or just overall poorer erection quality. Simply put, making the cylinder too large for the piston.
- Minimizing risk of erosion.
However, every coin has a flip side. What I have noticed ever since surgery is that my foreskin does not behave or look like it used to. No surprise of course, considering my foreskin is made to cover my pre-implant flaccid, which was 5 cm (2”) shorter than my current flaccid. It stays covering my glans sometimes and sometimes it does not. When it does not, it tended to become a bit swollen as it sat behind my glans. Probably some light edema. This was never really a problem, except maybe cosmetically when it was at its maximum.
What I noticed when I occasionally kept a few pumps in my dick in my pants – which I normally only did when being out in certain surroundings, certain bars – was that the foreskin seemed to never get this type of swelling. It couldn’t stay covering the glans either due to the further size increase of 10 pumps, but it still didn’t get any swelling whatsoever.
So I started to experiment with finding the minimum level of inflation to eliminate the swelling problem. And what I do now is basically “cycling” my flaccid state. Once I start to see tendencies of some foreskin swelling, I just take a day where I keep a few pumps in my dick. Basically just at the level where the cylinders round up nicely instead of being flat. Then I wear really tight briefs which helps to keep my dick firmly pressed to my groin, which in turn helps to keep my foreskin covering my glans. Sometimes it stays covered and sometimes it retracts. But it doesn’t really matter. The few pumps still avoids the swelling. Whether this is because the foreskin is more stretched or whether it is because the blood flow somehow gets restricted when the cylinders are flat and irregularly shaped I don’t know. I think it is both reasons, but probably I lean more towards the latter.
Since I still believe my points from earlier describing the advantages of full deflation are valid, I do as I said “cycle” my flaccid state.

Anyway, this was just another couple of examples of how the implant is an ever changing process. It will change, evolve, and constantly let you find new and better ways to maximize the benefit thereof.

[Smetro]

Always interesting reading Merrix’s posts.
In fact 15 months or so ago I read your thoughts (then) on deflating to the max........ I had been keeping several pumps in for everyday living as it seemed more comfortable.
You suggested that sensitivity was muted because of partial inflation. I took this on board and began to deflate more aggressively. I feel that this contributed to my recovering sensitivity......just another great example of self analysis, absorbing other’s opinions and learning from someone else’s experiences.
Thank you M

[merrix]

Here is a post I did in another thread, which I think will have some value in this thread as well.
A link to a German porn clip: https://www.xvideos.com/video57557415/d ... n_geblasen.
A lot of discussions about this clip in that thread, with all kind of theories.
Since I do speak (half-decent) German, I took the time to translate it.
Title of the clip by the way translates to: You have never seen this - old sack with penile prosthesis gets a blowjob.

The point is, this is in some kind a way for not yet implanted people to see what it looks like with an implanted dick in "real" life.

https://www.xvideos.com/video57557415/d ... n_geblasen

I used to live in Germany for some time way back, but still speak (and understand) german good enough. First of all, this particular video is part of a channel. This channel, with this actress, is quite typical in the porn industry. Only in all cases I have seen, the roles are reversed. Normally, there is a guy who finds different women in each episode. It all starts with the guy asking the girl some silly questions. Where are you from, how old are you, do you like sex, which type of sex do you like, why do you want to do a porn video etc. It is supposed to look like the girl is a first-time amateur. Which she may or may not be, I don't know. Anyway, you know what type of porn I mean.
This is the same thing, only in this series, this woman is the main stay and she invites different amateur men in each video. Just regular guys who has volunteered to ben in a porn video and fuck a porn star.
In this episode, Jurgen has volunteered with his implanted dick.

So it starts with him introducing himself, then she says:
"We have something pretty special here, a guy with an inflatable penis. A penis which you can pump up. This is the premiere for this kind of penis (for her and in this channel)."
She: Jurgen will show us.
He: Of course.
She: So explain how it works for men who might be interested.
He: It is a closed system. There is a container. And a pump downunder. The pump is quite small.
S: (Touching it.) Yes that is right. (Showing us) Yes it is behind the balls. Hidden.
H: When I want it hard I pump it up. And it stands. I will show you.
S: I will watch and not use my hands, not do anything?
H: No you don't need to. I will do it slowly.
S: You can hear it a little bit.
H: Yes a bit.
S: It grows (this is at about 1:55 in the video).
S: Crazy, crazy (2:02)
S: Very good Jurgen
S: I am excited
H: Touch it
2:16 she grabs it.
S: It is harder than than a normal dick, and I have had a lot of dicks, hahaha, as you have seen in my videos. It is also heavier than a normal dick. About twice as heavy. (2:30)
S: I have to try it Jurgen. (2:36, and she starts to blow it)
S: Yes, also when blowing it, it is very hard.
S: Do I have to be careful with it? (when she jerks him off harder)
H: No, just like normal
So she goes on blowing and jerking and he comes.
Then at around 4:55 she says it still stands.
H: If I don't deflate it, it will stand the whole year long.
S: Crazy
5:15, he shows how to deflate
H: I press the valve and compress it with my hand
S: Crazy
H: The fluid goes back to the reservoir
H: Then it "sleeps" until next time.
5:30, she laughs and says "Crazy".
She summarizes, a dick that stays hard is what every woman needs. It is there when needed. This was great Jurgen.
High five.

So again, this is not a commercial or anything, it is just that this guy was the "guest star" of this episode and then they just made a thing of showing and explaining his implant. Just one episode on her channel where she takes in guys and fucks them.

By the way, the word the female pornstar uses all the time is "Wahnsinn", which I translated as crazy. Not sure what a person fluent in both English and German would pick as the correct translation in this case. As far as my linguistical profoundness goes, I could equally well have chosen to translate it to '"madness", "insane", "that's unbelievable", or "amazing". Point is that "Wahnsinn" is used both as a positive and negative word. Someone goes rampant and kills 5 people. That's "Wahnsinn". Stock Market jumps to record levels despite Corona. That is "Wahnsinn" as well. A sport star comes back from injury and sets a new world record. Also "Wahnsinn". Someone can do 500 pushups. "Wahnsinn". In this case, she does not mean in in a negative way. Rather surprise/wonderment/excitement.

I think it is interesting how she describes it as harder and heavier than a normal dick. And she should know considering her sexual experience... From what I can see, he does not pump it to the max, nowhere near. At least not if he has a Titan. Based on my Titan, there is no way he can pump to the max with the one-hand grip he uses. Once I cannot pump anymore with one hand, I have a long way to go till I have reached the maximum hardness. To get there, I need to use two hands and all the force I can generate.
Also interesting to hear her saying it is heavier. I never thought of that before.

[Waynetho]

haha merrix is probably the most useful member of this blog. I mean, who in this world can understand german...
thanks dude

Another German can.

[Gt1956]

haha merrix is probably the most useful member of this blog. I mean, who in this world can understand german...
thanks dude

Another German can.

Don't be so sure. I knew 2 German women. 1 was from the northern part. The other grew up in the southern part. They constantly complained that the other used the wrong word for things.
Some european cities have their own accents also. We ran into a large group of Dutch visiting America. After a little talking they told my wife that she had a Rottedam accent. She was surprised because when we've been in the Netherlands she is constantly told that her Dutch is excellent. Of course we visit Rotterdam so she fits right in. I have a Dutch cousin that married an English woman. His English, including the Dutch accent was better than her native English.