FrankTalk.org

Hello brothers!

Some of you will have surely seen me post here before but for those that haven't, briefly, I've experienced a gradual onset of ED since my early 20s with no apparent reason for this gradual decline in erection quality. I had cancer at 26, just after I was treated successfully, a urologist looked into my penis concerns, did the doppler and hey presto, 'mild venous leak'. Funnily enough after exiting that scan, I had a full on hard-on for 2 hours at home. Go figure. So the seed was sewn. I was put on Cialis and have since become dependent.

Long story short, 3 specialists in this field have told me it's in my head. 3 different dopplers have since confirmed no leakage and one of the UK's leading implanters has done a night time study on me showing 5 episodes in the night, each lasting around 20-30 mins, each at least 80% rigidity which was claimed to be normal. Strange how I very, very rarely notice these hard-ons nor wake with them. So it must all be mental, right?! Well, who the hell really knows.

My dependence upon pills has become extraordinary, so much so that I have developed a OCD behaviour around it and feel powerless without them. As for their efficacy, in the beginning, wow, rockstar, I will always remember a night with a girl where we had sex 6 times. And that efficacy has largely remained. And to this day, if I were to assign a percentage to Cialis' effectiveness, it would have to be 95-97% overall. But, now at 34 and still single, having recently broken up with a girl of 3 years on and off, a relationship of little security, I find myself extremely stressed about future. Even with the pills in my system, I can't fully relax. I am always worrying it will go down.

I had managed to wean the dosage over the years but heartbreaks and tragedies have made this problem of mine worse. I fear the pills will one day lose efficacy. I fear being forming new relationships now. When I try to masturbate, most of the time it won't work (I never use pills for masturbation). I rarely wake with wood. To have an erection standing, even with cialis would most likely be a dream. I've seen a psychologist who was absolutely useless, I've seen a shrink who put me on a boner friendly medication that made me want to do bad things! This whole problem is just a nightmare.

There have been glimpses of hope that I could maybe one day rid myself of this dependence and ultimate mental plight. I was able, a good number of times to complete sex with my ex without anything in my system, those times where you have nothing in your blood flow but you get frisky and hey, look, it's up so you try it. And most notably about a month ago I had drunk so much that night, mixed my drinks and had no pill in me but the erection was strong. So the diagnosis that it's mental is probably correct.

Thing is, mental ED, and I mean the kind of mental ED like mine; where you obsess over it, analyse it, fear failure 24/7, where it impacts your desire to get out and meet women, where you can't adequately keep an erection on your own is so very damaging to the psyche. This is where I'm at now. This against a backdrop of a lot of bad **** that's happened in my 34 years; the cancer, losing my dad to cancer at 12, multiple heartbreaks, real, deep heartbreaks and this god awful crap since 21.

I just want to be free. And indeed this top implanter, Dr Ralph of UCLH has even said, 'look I get men, young men come in here, we prove it's all psychological without a shadow of a doubt but still, nothing works for them. We implant them and then they never come back'.

I'm in a very low place right now guys with the self-esteem and confidence of a mouse. And I am seriously considering implantation. VEDs and injections are not at all suitable for a single man in my honest opinion. If anyone can offer some tangible advice based on what I've written, I'd love to hear it.

God bless you all!

95 to 97 percent success with pills is good. Personally I’d spend time with call girls. Find one you like and are comfortable with and go for it. They have a way of making ppl comfortable.

I get the mental heartache. However and based on your comments 95%effecticeness using Ciaalis sounds a mile away from an implant need to me. When pills stop working and they probably will at some point that’s the crunch time as lol that is left is injections and I hated that route. Cialis is long lasting if it works for you (it didn’t for me at all) so is a much better option than Viagra etc. You don’t mention any side effects but I suffered with headaches and blurred vision.with the pills. My advice is to have counselling for your stress. Find a pay as you go girl who you actually fancy and you might just break down the mental barriers and heal yourself. Until then I would wait. But hey I also get that the implant would solve the issue and some may say just go for it.

I would have to agree with those who say you should wait with the implant.
if I had 95-97% success with Cialis, I'd stay with it.
Cialis is more long acting, and gives you a larger window than Viagra.
If you can just pop a pill a couple of yours before you expect sex, that is not too bad.
Maybe even the daily 5 mg pill would work for you? Then you'll always be ready anytime. Well, 97% of the time...

if you are so extremely worried, anxious etc even with a 19 out of 20 success rate, I would say there is a risk you wouldn't feel any better with an implant either.
What if your expectations are off, and after implant your expectations were not met? Maybe your implant surgery went well, you got an average result, but you still feel like shit because you worry about what women will think, you worry about implant failure every time you pump, you worry whether you will be able to orgasm (and as a result of that you can't orgasm), etc.

I am no doctor, no psychologist, but I would say that getting implanted for psychological ED which can be managed with Cialis, sounds like a bad idea. At least at your age.

Basically, you don't have ED! No more than you would with an implant. An implant is a workaround to fuck when the dick doesn't work. So is Cialis, but in a more natural way. It is still 100% your own flesh and blood responsible for the erection.

I would love to swap with you. 97% success on a little pill which can be taken at a small dose every day. And which I think even comes with other benefits. Blood pressure and prostate.

Enjoy your natural erections.

Thank you for your responses guys and for taking the time to read my story and answer accordingly.

For me this ultimately comes down to how much damage has been done and is being done to my psyche; 12 years or so of conditioning to believe there is a problem, for that belief to manifest itself in reality and cause me to have very real and profound trouble with arousal.

Pills may work to that high percentage but with each time I lose a relationship or partner, with no stability in my life and the constant grief of ED, physical or mental, I become more and more averse to sex; scared of it and scared of failure. To the point where I fear pills will lose efficacy.

So at 34 and in this very low state of lack of confidence, fear and anxiety, I’m weighing up the 2 paths of action; wait to find a true love, someone understanding with whom maybe I can start to feel confident again and free again and perhaps in time resolve this issue or take the plunge and become a bionic brother, freeing my mind of this fear.

I fully take on board what Merrix is saying about swapping one emotional plight for another but if I were to make the decision I would fully evaluate the eventualities, risk vs reward and all ramifications of implantation. I feel I’ve done a lot of research already.

I just don’t want to waste my youth, what remains of it.

Defiant,
I feel for you buddy. I was told my ED was all in my head, but it wasn't. Multiple doctors simply prescribed pills and injections, but it took nearly 30 years to find a doctor who wanted to find the cause of the problem. It was finally confirmed I had a severe Venous Leak. Like you, I got strong erections during the night. I even woke up with morning wood. However, I could only get hard and stay hard flat on my back and not moving so that pretty much screwed me for sex. Even masturbation is difficult when you can barely move in order to keep it up. Best wishes.

Greg

Greg1956 wrote:Defiant,
I feel for you buddy. I was told my ED was all in my head, but it wasn't. Multiple doctors simply prescribed pills and injections, but it took nearly 30 years to find a doctor who wanted to find the cause of the problem. It was finally confirmed I had a severe Venous Leak. Like you, I got strong erections during the night. I even woke up with morning wood. However, I could only get hard and stay hard flat on my back and not moving so that pretty much screwed me for sex. Even masturbation is difficult when you can barely move in order to keep it up. Best wishes.

Greg

Hi Greg,

Well that’s a sobering message to say the least.

I’m not sure how it is that you could have a severe VL and still maintain solid erections in the night. I thought this test and indeed showing that good, sustained hard-ons was considered as proof that the penis is in good arterial and venous health?

Were pills of any use to you?

I too am position-wary, if there’s recent cialis in my system I can swap and change position without much concern but I am scared to try standing sex. To be honest it doesn’t much interest me.

My Penile Doppler results showed a 40% VL. Prior to having that test I would tell doctors it seemed like my penis had a trap door in it and as long as I was on my back the door stayed closed and kept the blood inside and when I rolled over or stood up the door opened and the blood escaped and my penis went limp. H doctor who finally sent me for he Doppler test said that was a good analogy.

Greg1956 wrote:My Penile Doppler results showed a 40% VL. Prior to having that test I would tell doctors it seemed like my penis had a trap door in it and as long as I was on my back the door stayed closed and kept the blood inside and when I rolled over or stood up the door opened and the blood escaped and my penis went limp. H doctor who finally sent me for he Doppler test said that was a good analogy.

You see this is what I mean about the accuracy or rather inaccuracy of ED testing.

One can have multiple dopplers and get different results; one result can mean one thing and then another to another physician.

One can be told that if you have good nocturnal activity then by default you don’t have psychical ED while another will say that despite that you have severe ED.

The mind boggles, it’s little wonder we have so much trouble with this extremely mind/body process.

Defiant,
For one thing Primary Care Physicians don't tend to know much about ED. Even Urologists who do not specialize in male sexual dysfunction don't seem to understand. If their this is Prostate and Incontinence, they are less likely to dig deep to help guys with ED.

Greg