Needing Advice on my ED situation, 27 years old
Posted: Sun Apr 28, 2019 1:29 pm
Hi guys, I'm a pretty new member on here and this is my first post on this site, felt it was time due to anxiety about everything and I wanna be more sure I'm doing the right thing by going with a Titan Coloplast. I'm really needing help.
warning: Some of this is pretty detailed about symptoms of my ED
My injury occurred 8 years and 3 months ago. I was in college and experimenting with someone where I would wear a rubber cock ring. We tried a few, but one tired and dumb night I passed out with it on. I woke up and my penis was extremely cold, shriveled and lifeless.
Symptoms after injury: no spontaneous erections ever during the day, still got some morning wood erections and sometimes still do but they are usually never all the way hard, like kinda hard I guess but still many mornings I never have one and my penis will feel lifeless and shriveled like it never had one all night. I remember for the first couple years after it happened when i would go to masturbate I would always have to use arousal and stimulation by really working my hand to get me all the way up, it would go all the way up then as soon as i would take my dry hand off it it would start to immediately gradually go down (it would take maybe like 15 seconds), it has now gotten to the point where I can pretty much only use one type of lube and really almost like milk it up to a semi with porn that will really turn me on. Sometimes I get fully hard from masturbating but it's really like only at the very end, like right when I'm about to cum or cumming is when it will actually get fully hard. I can absolutely not take my hand off for even 3 seconds off of my semi or it will take another minute to get it worked up to that point with lube and all. Masturbating when cumming still feels amazing especially with a pocket pussy even though I'm not quite all the way hard the majority of the time. Because of those symptoms I can't even really attempt sex without medication. It's impossible for me.
Before I go into the sex and medication details things to consider especially about being younger and dealing with this: For one, I'm grown to be greatly insecure about my problem given my age. All I want is someone to be in a long term relationship with who I'm attracted to, like to be around but what has blocked me over the years is my fear of opening up too much about this to a potential partner. This fear got a lot worse over the years as I've told some and things ended horribly, I would get ghosted almost instantly even though it was pills or they would think it would be, one was okay with it but by that point I was on injections, didn't tell her that because the two girls i did tell about injections pretty much kicked me out of their apartments and I wasn't attracted to her enough. I'm afraid to date people within the people I know in real life because I'm worried if I do and tell them and things don't go well the rumor will spread like wildfire and it's something that honestly has made me suicidal especially dealing with rejection and many times being unable to perform. So I'm afraid to take that risk because also there was someone who I did do that with, opened up about something else I was embarrassed about and she told almost everyone that her and I know, so it hurt my reputation badly. Trying not to do something similar by opening up within my circle of people. So then I go online to date, but online dating is very competitive and very hard a lot of times to get a lot of conversations with potential partners. When I do they have so many options it's like they don't have time at all for my ED and just discard me so fast. And since I'm younger they are like confused how it's even possible. I feel like they will walk all over me and I'll have no power in the relationship. So all this has been limiting my options greatly.
With medication and sex:The first time I ever took ED meds was 50mg of Viagra (6 months after the injury) and hooked up with a girl just one and done but everything seemed to work normal. A few months later I tried 10mg of Cialis but it didn't hardly work at all, only could get a semi although I wasn't all that attracted to the girl but no amount of manual stimulation could get me up. I was embarrassed and didn't try again for sex for about 3 years or so.
I then got 100mg Viagra (3ish years out from injury), which is the only meds i had for about two years, sometimes it would work sometimes it wouldn't, if the girl was really hot it probably would, if I was maybe even just a little nervous or not attracted enough, but sometimes I would be really attracted but would not even get close to an erection. So I'm not really sure what happened why it was inconsistent and seemed to get weaker over time but wasn't that old of medication? I started upping my dose to 150mg which is actually 50 above max. I'm pretty sure gradually I was having to up my dose and things just kept declining for me masturbating quality of erections as well with no medications. I got all the way up to 200mg and still would have doubts if it would work or not. Then about 5 years out I switched to Cialis daily, once again, that worked at a moderate dose for awhile, things for some reason gradually became worse and the rate at which I could lose erections was getting pretty ridiculously fast. Limiting foreplay a ton, if I would hesitate and my erection would go away I could never really work it back up. I then got to the point where I was taking daily cialis 5mg I believe but then would take 20mg right before going back to my place with a girl for a date. Things were mainly able to function, sometimes I'd add in another 50 or 100mg of viagra. So one of the problems I was having was I was exceeding the max dose which can of course have negative health consequences. So due to trying the pills for a couple years and their effects becoming worse and my symptoms worse (and i never had priapisms at all from pills) I then switched to injections. Bimix Injections (papaverine/phentolamine) have produced actually good quality erections for me for about 3 years WHEN i get the dosage right. But as you guys probably know if it's a little warm or old it won't work at the same dosage that worked when it was colder or newer, or at least that's what I found wildly unpredictable unless I freeze it then unfreeze just to inject then it works very well but this took me some time to figure out. So I've had some priapisms too actually had yesterday. I met up with someone used 35 units that were just unfroze and ended up with a priapism for 3.5 hours. But just last week I used 45 units that had been non refridgerated for like a half hour before use and all that happened was I got an enlarged flaccid penis. No amount of stimulation could get it up. The other thing that sucks about injections is bruising and a lot more pain if you do them frequently like when I've tried being in relationships.
Relationships: With the women I've dated when i'm on injections I can't keep up with them sexually. I can only use them once a day at most. And if I get the dosage right where it's effective and safe I feel like I have to rush foreplay because of the fear it will go down quickly. And for me once it starts to go down while I'm on medication I can't really get it back ever. I have like a really small window of opportunity. With pills I know I was taking above max dosage and it was failing me very frequently when I stopped trying. My blood in my penis just seems to leak out really fast. And my trust in telling a partner is almost impossible because of the bad experiences i've had.
I'm considering trying the pills one more time for a little while see how they work, possibly just telling dates pretty up front that I meet online about my problem before things get too far so then i can inject myself with more control of temperature. (instead of keeping my medication on long lasting ice packs in my bathroom). My other option is an implant.
Pros to an implant for me: I would never have to worry about dosage fluctuations again, could always be ready, I can't tell you how many times I've had to just lose out on sex because the medication wasn't strong enough or i didn't have it with me, my confidence is pretty shot when out in public talking to women, I try not to be charming or draw too much attention because I don't want things to escalate, them to attracted to me and then I have yet another time where I'm unable to perform. It would be so nice to just live carefree where I can go out and have a good time and if I meet someone cool, i'll always be ready. Even if I was drinking or not.
Cons for me: It takes me currently like 10 minutes during sex to ejaculate with injection medication. But usually I have to like flex, or that's what it feels like and that's the only way I can seem to ejaculate. If I don't do that at all with a condom I probably won't be able to. I definitely suffered some nerve damage where I can't feel as much as I used.
Looking for advice, I've been suffering from this for a long time now. Lost the girl of my dreams 3 weeks ago because I didn't have any medication with me and was too afraid to tell her about my problem at the time. I pretty much just mainly want a long term relationship with someone where I'm able to have sex enough for her, I'm able to ejaculate at least once a day and to grow close with her and trust her. I've NEVER had that with any girl, just short term things that seem to end horribly. Any help is greatly appreciated, been suicidal for too long.
warning: Some of this is pretty detailed about symptoms of my ED
My injury occurred 8 years and 3 months ago. I was in college and experimenting with someone where I would wear a rubber cock ring. We tried a few, but one tired and dumb night I passed out with it on. I woke up and my penis was extremely cold, shriveled and lifeless.
Symptoms after injury: no spontaneous erections ever during the day, still got some morning wood erections and sometimes still do but they are usually never all the way hard, like kinda hard I guess but still many mornings I never have one and my penis will feel lifeless and shriveled like it never had one all night. I remember for the first couple years after it happened when i would go to masturbate I would always have to use arousal and stimulation by really working my hand to get me all the way up, it would go all the way up then as soon as i would take my dry hand off it it would start to immediately gradually go down (it would take maybe like 15 seconds), it has now gotten to the point where I can pretty much only use one type of lube and really almost like milk it up to a semi with porn that will really turn me on. Sometimes I get fully hard from masturbating but it's really like only at the very end, like right when I'm about to cum or cumming is when it will actually get fully hard. I can absolutely not take my hand off for even 3 seconds off of my semi or it will take another minute to get it worked up to that point with lube and all. Masturbating when cumming still feels amazing especially with a pocket pussy even though I'm not quite all the way hard the majority of the time. Because of those symptoms I can't even really attempt sex without medication. It's impossible for me.
Before I go into the sex and medication details things to consider especially about being younger and dealing with this: For one, I'm grown to be greatly insecure about my problem given my age. All I want is someone to be in a long term relationship with who I'm attracted to, like to be around but what has blocked me over the years is my fear of opening up too much about this to a potential partner. This fear got a lot worse over the years as I've told some and things ended horribly, I would get ghosted almost instantly even though it was pills or they would think it would be, one was okay with it but by that point I was on injections, didn't tell her that because the two girls i did tell about injections pretty much kicked me out of their apartments and I wasn't attracted to her enough. I'm afraid to date people within the people I know in real life because I'm worried if I do and tell them and things don't go well the rumor will spread like wildfire and it's something that honestly has made me suicidal especially dealing with rejection and many times being unable to perform. So I'm afraid to take that risk because also there was someone who I did do that with, opened up about something else I was embarrassed about and she told almost everyone that her and I know, so it hurt my reputation badly. Trying not to do something similar by opening up within my circle of people. So then I go online to date, but online dating is very competitive and very hard a lot of times to get a lot of conversations with potential partners. When I do they have so many options it's like they don't have time at all for my ED and just discard me so fast. And since I'm younger they are like confused how it's even possible. I feel like they will walk all over me and I'll have no power in the relationship. So all this has been limiting my options greatly.
With medication and sex:The first time I ever took ED meds was 50mg of Viagra (6 months after the injury) and hooked up with a girl just one and done but everything seemed to work normal. A few months later I tried 10mg of Cialis but it didn't hardly work at all, only could get a semi although I wasn't all that attracted to the girl but no amount of manual stimulation could get me up. I was embarrassed and didn't try again for sex for about 3 years or so.
I then got 100mg Viagra (3ish years out from injury), which is the only meds i had for about two years, sometimes it would work sometimes it wouldn't, if the girl was really hot it probably would, if I was maybe even just a little nervous or not attracted enough, but sometimes I would be really attracted but would not even get close to an erection. So I'm not really sure what happened why it was inconsistent and seemed to get weaker over time but wasn't that old of medication? I started upping my dose to 150mg which is actually 50 above max. I'm pretty sure gradually I was having to up my dose and things just kept declining for me masturbating quality of erections as well with no medications. I got all the way up to 200mg and still would have doubts if it would work or not. Then about 5 years out I switched to Cialis daily, once again, that worked at a moderate dose for awhile, things for some reason gradually became worse and the rate at which I could lose erections was getting pretty ridiculously fast. Limiting foreplay a ton, if I would hesitate and my erection would go away I could never really work it back up. I then got to the point where I was taking daily cialis 5mg I believe but then would take 20mg right before going back to my place with a girl for a date. Things were mainly able to function, sometimes I'd add in another 50 or 100mg of viagra. So one of the problems I was having was I was exceeding the max dose which can of course have negative health consequences. So due to trying the pills for a couple years and their effects becoming worse and my symptoms worse (and i never had priapisms at all from pills) I then switched to injections. Bimix Injections (papaverine/phentolamine) have produced actually good quality erections for me for about 3 years WHEN i get the dosage right. But as you guys probably know if it's a little warm or old it won't work at the same dosage that worked when it was colder or newer, or at least that's what I found wildly unpredictable unless I freeze it then unfreeze just to inject then it works very well but this took me some time to figure out. So I've had some priapisms too actually had yesterday. I met up with someone used 35 units that were just unfroze and ended up with a priapism for 3.5 hours. But just last week I used 45 units that had been non refridgerated for like a half hour before use and all that happened was I got an enlarged flaccid penis. No amount of stimulation could get it up. The other thing that sucks about injections is bruising and a lot more pain if you do them frequently like when I've tried being in relationships.
Relationships: With the women I've dated when i'm on injections I can't keep up with them sexually. I can only use them once a day at most. And if I get the dosage right where it's effective and safe I feel like I have to rush foreplay because of the fear it will go down quickly. And for me once it starts to go down while I'm on medication I can't really get it back ever. I have like a really small window of opportunity. With pills I know I was taking above max dosage and it was failing me very frequently when I stopped trying. My blood in my penis just seems to leak out really fast. And my trust in telling a partner is almost impossible because of the bad experiences i've had.
I'm considering trying the pills one more time for a little while see how they work, possibly just telling dates pretty up front that I meet online about my problem before things get too far so then i can inject myself with more control of temperature. (instead of keeping my medication on long lasting ice packs in my bathroom). My other option is an implant.
Pros to an implant for me: I would never have to worry about dosage fluctuations again, could always be ready, I can't tell you how many times I've had to just lose out on sex because the medication wasn't strong enough or i didn't have it with me, my confidence is pretty shot when out in public talking to women, I try not to be charming or draw too much attention because I don't want things to escalate, them to attracted to me and then I have yet another time where I'm unable to perform. It would be so nice to just live carefree where I can go out and have a good time and if I meet someone cool, i'll always be ready. Even if I was drinking or not.
Cons for me: It takes me currently like 10 minutes during sex to ejaculate with injection medication. But usually I have to like flex, or that's what it feels like and that's the only way I can seem to ejaculate. If I don't do that at all with a condom I probably won't be able to. I definitely suffered some nerve damage where I can't feel as much as I used.
Looking for advice, I've been suffering from this for a long time now. Lost the girl of my dreams 3 weeks ago because I didn't have any medication with me and was too afraid to tell her about my problem at the time. I pretty much just mainly want a long term relationship with someone where I'm able to have sex enough for her, I'm able to ejaculate at least once a day and to grow close with her and trust her. I've NEVER had that with any girl, just short term things that seem to end horribly. Any help is greatly appreciated, been suicidal for too long.
