Third try after implant

[oneperson]

Hi,

Last saturday, one day before the 4 months mark post implant, I had my third sex session. I am not going to extend too much. I will summarize the facts.

- About 30 minutes, pumped to max before disconfort. About 10 cm long. No pain at all during sex.
- My wife was able to ride me softly for about five minutes. No pain, just some disconfort. However, we could not make hard movements. In consequence, she couldn't reach orgasm... again.
- After 30 minutes or so, trying different positions, I cum.
- I used lube.
- My wife complains about size. She is not satisfied with the implant results at this moment. And worse than that, she thinks she won't be in the future.
- This time, I haven't had any pain or disconfort after sex. Last time, pain in the shatf lasted about 3 days.

So, in clonclusion, mixed sensations. On the one hand, satisfied because I am gaining some size, and pain is vanishing. On the other, my partner doesn't arrive, so is not satistied.

[peyroniesjr]

Good Morning,

Patience is a virtue, give it more time. It has to be better & better than before the implant. Things will get resolved & hopefully you can both enjoy your new penis.

Junior

[vajim1]

You have plenty of length, do you know what size diameter was used?
They make a narrow, standard and xl Titan.
I don't know what mine was but my wife LOVES it.

[stephen54]

Hi,

Last saturday, one day before the 4 months mark post implant, I had my third sex session. I am not going to extend too much. I will summarize the facts.

- About 30 minutes, pumped to max before disconfort. About 10 cm long. No pain at all during sex.
- My wife was able to ride me softly for about five minutes. No pain, just some disconfort. However, we could not make hard movements. In consequence, she couldn't reach orgasm... again.
- After 30 minutes or so, trying different positions, I cum.
- I used lube.
- My wife complains about size. She is not satisfied with the implant results at this moment. And worse than that, she thinks she won't be in the future.
- This time, I haven't had any pain or disconfort after sex. Last time, pain in the shatf lasted about 3 days.

So, in clonclusion, mixed sensations. On the one hand, satisfied because I am gaining some size, and pain is vanishing. On the other, my partner doesn't arrive, so is not satistied.

Hey. Thanks for sharing what you shared here. I can gather the mixed feelings you are having as a result of your progress to date. I'm sure your wife, as well, has mixed emotions which she has not completely metabolized and worked through and come to understand how she is to deal with that this new world looks like for her.

Those of us who have implanted have traded one set of issues for another set of issues, right? For me, the mental math was super easy - the anxiety around getting hard enough, for long enough, to accomplish what we both loved...that anxiety was crushing at some point. But I would have endured that anxiety longer if Trimix would not have been failing so dramatically. But it was. So we went into the implant world together, she and I, knowing things would change, not knowing exactly how they would change, or what those changes would mean for us, but we just sort of had faith that, together, we would come out the other side and navigate some new version of Us. Some version with, at minimum, rock hard on-demand hardons. Realistically we knew those would come with some counter-balancing trade offs. We figured, ok...if implant can get me quickly, spontaneously hard enough to reliably fuck for extended periods...then we'll figure out whatever the other unknown stuff ends up being...and it's an overall easy "win" in our books.

What jumps out at me most in your post is your wife's complaints about your size and her skepticism about what the future holds. That has got to feel not great for you.

I don't know you guys obviously, but I guess I just want to believe that you two are in fact in this thing together - as partners - in the real sense of what that means. Part of that to me means that she puts on her big girl pants and just openly supports you, supports this transition and process, and that she finds a more positive way to convey patience and a healthier optimism. While her frustration and concern and negativity are admirable in the sense of being honest...I'm not sure they're practically helpful to anyone at the moment?

My guess is - she's scared.

Scared for change. Scared for whatever the new landscape of things looks like because she can't quite visualize the nature of what this all means and how this all works and where she fits and how. We're scared of unknowns and of what we cannot control. That's human nature and that's fine. We all have our shit. I just want her to kind of hold your hand through this and for you to feel like you are confronting things and rowing through them together, that's all. If you can do that, it seems like whatever lies on the other side is infinitely more palatable and achievable if you're truly in it together.

On the she isn't "satisfied" part...well maybe this at the moment isn't actually all about her having an orgasm the way she was previously accustomed to comfortably and predictably achieving orgasm.

I mean...we are just now re-launching our sex life at the 8 week mark here and we were fortunate to have a good, fun first test drive of this thing...but it was obviously different than prior, in multiple ways, some physical and some emotional, and for several reasons she did not initially come easily. All the unknowns. All the stuff she was worrying about, too (does it feel good to him, does anything hurt him, are we going to break something, will he even tell me if something is wrong or hurts, etc). My wife loves to come at the same time, together with me. It wasn't quite happening. So at some point we shifted gears, I grabbed her favorite go-to vibrator and encouraged her to do what she knows best, to herself, as we made love. She came. I came. New world.

I don't know.

Maybe it's not all about your wife coming. Like...maybe that singular event should not be her yardstick?

Maybe she can consider, and you can help her to visualize and experiment with, alternative ways to play and work her toward orgasm...just find ways to incorporate some fun. Some shoulder-shrugging "WTF!?" moments will happen but so what?

Maybe she can commit to more actively participating in all of the new possibilities. She can lead, too. She can shift, suggest, initiate. And, in doing so - support.

But she has to see possibilities at every corner - not fucking barriers. Good news is, she holds the power to shift her perceptions and her behaviors. If she wants to.

What the hell do I know? Above is just me thinking out loud. I'll apologize in advance for sputtering my shit that I know can maybe sound judgmental or preachy or whatever. I definitely don't ever mean it that way. I'm not suggesting I have any answers for someone else. Just trying to think through your eyes a little and to advocate for you.

[postra7777]

Can your wife cum other ways? Oral, toys, etc. My wife can only cum with oral and toys and never with sex. Maybe you need to switch it up. It does seem like your wife isn't being very supportive. She needs to give you a break and look for new ways of getting satisfaction. I mean you did go through a very traumatic procedure to improve your sex life. I don't think throwing your hands up at 4 weeks is the answer. It might take up to a year to finally figure out what works. At least now you have a chance at finding it out. Before your implant you had no chance.

[oneperson]

Thanks for the answers. Yes, my wife is not much supportive. Maybe the fact that we have not been able to have good sex since 10 years, and not sex at all since March 2018, has carried her to a point of surfeit. Moreover, my wife has not been a positive person ever. She tends to see the dark side of things, the negative part of each thing in life.

And no, there is no other way to make her cum. That has been a very important part of my ED. She doesn't enjoy toys. Oral sex yes, he enjoy it, but she can't cum without a dick inside her. She can when she is alone, but with a man besides her, she needs the dick inside her to be able to cum.

And even with penetration, she only gets to the climax in cowgirl positions.

I need double patience: not only with the healing process but with her negativeness. And that, even though doctor told her that the whole process, i.e, the total recovery usually lasts one year. He told her it is not neccesary wait one year to have sex, but it is for having sex in the same manner, without any limitations, than when there was no ED.

[Biker60]

I feel for you man. I hope you did this for you as well and not for her. Many women do not always have vaginal orgasm. For orgasm to be achieved only via penetration would not be the norm. Many couples use other methods to show sexual intimacy. Especially when the aging process prevents penetrative sex. Sounds like too much stress. Couples therapy may help with the underlying issues. IMHO

[Waynetho]

If you want to rock your partner's world, do what I did with my wife... We hadn't had vaginal sex (or any other form for that matter) in over 10-12 years. When we tried after I was cleared for sex, situations (obesity) made penetration difficult due to penile length vs. vaginal depth within fat folds.

On our second and third attempts on two consecutive nights, we used the scissor position where she laid on her right side and raised her left leg for maximum penetration. That left my left hand free to work her clitoris and erectile tissues *HARD*. During those two nights, she had a total of 17 POWERFUL orgasms, probably more and stronger orgasms than she had in the past 38 years together.