FrankTalk.org

So, I had an appointment with my surgeon because of some stuff going on with my previous surgery… I discussed this in another post, somewhere… anyway, I left the appointment a little bit disappointed but, I had a surgery scheduled for April … The surgeon called the next day and said he was uncomfortable doing the surgery because of some words that were exchanged… he said before he did it, he would like to have me come in his office and speak with him and then, we would reschedule… The issue he had with me wasn’t even with me… it was with one of my parents who gave me a ride to his office… That’s all… I don’t really want to get into it but, I’m a 32-year-old man and nothing that my parents say should even matter in regards to my surgery… They aren’t paying for it, it’s not their Dick... literally, they were my ride there… anyway, I’m sure he’s a great guy but, I’m not going to do surgery with a surgeon who can’t respect me as an adult… it might be my own hangup “I’m sure it is“ but, I’m in the search for another surgeon… is there still a reputable Pennsylvania surgeon? it’s very difficult to use a lot of this website as a blind user… again, sorry I can’t go more into this but, it’s my own feelings and I really do believe he’s a good surgeon… There’s just a lot of things that lose my respect… Being treated as a child when I am a well accomplished adult is one of them… thanks for any help, guys…

You might have a very good urologist. You are only 32 and are about to make a huge decision, your Dr. Heard something at your appointment that he is concerned enough about you to want invest in your future. This operation is irreversible, be open to hearing his concerns!

I am in school to be a physician… appointment went fine… The problem arose when we were scheduling the appointment and his assistant brought up what I would be responsible for financially… That’s win everything went down… this would be a revision on an implant I had done only in October… I expected the exact same implant… Nothing complicated about it… The stitches on the proximal end of the implant came loose… I respect him as a surgeon and as a human being… however, I do not respect his discomfort with this situation over a third-party issue with what this is going to cost financially… i’ve certainly got the money to get this fixed, this issue is between one of my parents and him… it might be different if it was my significant other or myself but, it was not… between this and the issue that I have, I think it’s just in my best interest to find another surgeon… I appreciate that response though!

Rusty, since WhiteCane doesn't have any background in his message, you couldn't have known... He already has an implant and I believe he may be referring to a revision. As I recall, he had some issue a few months ago and then went silent here for awhile.

Sincerely sorry about that… all of the above is correct… This is a revision from some complications…

WhiteCane wrote:So, I had an appointment with my surgeon because of some stuff going on with my previous surgery… I discussed this in another post, somewhere… anyway, I left the appointment a little bit disappointed but, I had a surgery scheduled for April … The surgeon called the next day and said he was uncomfortable doing the surgery because of some words that were exchanged… he said before he did it, he would like to have me come in his office and speak with him and then, we would reschedule… The issue he had with me wasn’t even with me… it was with one of my parents who gave me a ride to his office… That’s all… I don’t really want to get into it but, I’m a 32-year-old man and nothing that my parents say should even matter in regards to my surgery… They aren’t paying for it, it’s not their Dick... literally, they were my ride there… anyway, I’m sure he’s a great guy but, I’m not going to do surgery with a surgeon who can’t respect me as an adult… it might be my own hangup “I’m sure it is“ but, I’m in the search for another surgeon… is there still a reputable Pennsylvania surgeon? it’s very difficult to use a lot of this website as a blind user… again, sorry I can’t go more into this but, it’s my own feelings and I really do believe he’s a good surgeon… There’s just a lot of things that lose my respect… Being treated as a child when I am a well accomplished adult is one of them… thanks for any help, guys…

I would speak to your surgeon before firing him. At least find out what it was your parent said. It is understandable that people (Doctors who should know better included) to treat someone not conventionally "fully able-bodied" as less than fully enfranchised. Women confront this even more so. You have an opportunity to educate this practitioner in how to treat adults as adults despite being in a wheelchair, deaf, blind or whatever.

It is not fair that this task should fall to you, but if you pick up the challenge, you will have done a service to your fellow men. If you choose not to, that is perfectly understandable as well. You have enough on your plate to challenge you without adding to your burdens. Including getting your parents to speak to you about whatever issues they have instead of going around you to your Doctor.

Whatever you do, you have my admiration, awe and respect. Good luck.

Yeah, what ^^^he said!
I completely understand parents sticking up for what they thought should be taken into consideration, after all, every parent is protective of their kids. As a human being, he responded, it rattled him. He did not respond professionally, as he is doing that now, but the damage has been done, issue is in his psyche (we are only human).
You also have to have a hard talk with your parent on what transpired. You are only 32, this situation will happen again with your upcoming revisions, so it behooves you to take care of things now.
I cannot help you on finding a surgeon in your area, good luck on that, but moving forward, you definitely have to take care of this issue now, or if you find another surgeon, make sure your parent does not talk to Dr. personally and have a talk with them after you are healed. This is definitely your call (it is, after all, your dick ). (I know you are blind, so this icon that your translator probably did not pick up was the laughing icon, my bad if I am wrong).

I could only imagine how much that would suck. I was 34 when I was implanted and my mother was trying to tell me which surgeon I should pick and to keep my expectations under control but fuk that. It’s my penis and I’m taking no chances. Just because we are younger dosent mean our parents should have input, some of these older guys here sound like children to me personally (not the guys in this post). 2 days after being implanted I pulled out my own catheter and I started cycling the day after. When I woke up from surgery (2 hours later) I got up and walked my self to the taxi, other older guys laying next to me were bitchy and disrespectful to the staff, I was surprised by that. I am guessing your parents said something stupid to the surgeon and then the surgeon felt like he had to make them happy. Totally sucks, you are in the right and need a surgeon that is only listening to your needs not your parents. Sorry if I’m getting to personal but I would have bitched my parents out for that. But yeah, don’t settle for anything less then what you want. A implant is not the ideal situation and we have to be our own advocates and we are the ones that have to live with the results of our surgery’s. I hope you find the right solution and love your end result.

Thank you, gentlemen… As always, solid advice! You’re the best.

I would definitely talk with your surgeon. Many times I have been in a situation when someone wants to talk and my brain jumps to conclusions. Then when the conversation is had, it was totally the opposite of what I was thinking.
The other issue is, in my country, after the age of 18 doctors will not talk to parents without the consent of the patient!
I would definitely talk with the surgeon and get more information.