Larryb8x8 wrote:I was implanted in the end of December. My wife and I have been together for 10 years and all of a sudden after surgery no more sex. You wanted yourself why the hell did I go through this surgery?
We have literally turned into a sexless marriage I don't know if it's because of my new implant she does complain about the girth she's not the cheating type of person. Has anybody gone to this situation. I'm not a fan of masturbation I need my wife this might not end out well...
I have not read your prior posts, sorry, if this has been covered there.
How was the sex before the implant? Did you discuss the implant with her before the operation?
Whitecane's observation that communication is key. I have found that women are incredibly supportive if they feel trusted, respected and SAFE. If she enjoyed intimacy with you before the implant (with or without coitus) any reason she eschews it now is a mystery (to be solved if you want to restore your previously healthy relationship)
My opinion is that her objection is not likely to related to the implant itself but how she feels about is. Some women get (essential) validation from being able to produce her man's erection by her attractiveness. That you now produce that erection by hydro-mechanical means may tell her you don't find her desirable any more. I know, it is not logical. But the "fix" is to reassure her you do find her desirable by other means.
But that's just a guess from a man who does not know you or your wife. So wild speculation.
It is your task to discern what she is feeling and thinking (which may be two vastly disparate things) and deal with it. A professional relationship counselor might help (either together with your wife or alone-either of you or both separately). Remember, clergy, trusted and wise relatives, etc may be of help as counselors/advisors, having an outside perspective.
This is another wild speculation. Sometimes, after a man requires a great deal of care from his wife, she sees him as "needier" than before and less of a sexual object. Five months is a long time to hold this change in perspective, but it can happen.
I suddenly had a flash of an idea. Perhaps she has in the back of her mind, buried in her subconscious, that she may hurt you or break your penis or the implant by having sex. Ridiculous as it sounds, it can be a concern. My girlfriend took reassuring that my reconstructed penis was as durable as a natural one.
So, ease into the discussion, tell you you love her and want to express that love like you used to, physically, And LISTEN. Not only to her words, but to her meanings and her feelings.
Good luck