FrankTalk.org

Hey folks I know my Ed was the reason of my stupidity and still today it haunts me and weakens me as a man that only if I stayed away from certain stuff I would’ve never had a problem with my dick. I wanted to ask how do you guys deal with something like this bothering you because I cry like a baby literally every night thinking about how my life could’ve been if my dick was alright. I ignore so many girls I have so many girls messaging me to meet then go dates and even have sex with them but I know I can’t perform which sets me back it’s just so upsetting for someone my age . Please give me any tips of how I can not think of my Ed that much have you tried a therapist?

Go see a urologist and deal with it!

Drayan,

Don't go to just any Urologist!

Go to an Urolgist who specializes in men's sexual health, let the common Urologist treat kidney stones and the like, when it comes to getting hard you need a urologist who can fix you. Don't despair, there are many options, there is no reason you can't please yourself or please the partner you are with.

Do not delay. Everyone who posts on these forums has the same or worse problem than you do, here is where you get the knowledge, but it is up to you to follow up. Don't be embarrassed, be frank here and with your doctor. Ask for referrals to doctors near you.

Hey drayan123:

First thing you have to do is get out of your head. There is a 99% chance that this is not phycological but physical. The practicality is that (just like women that go through menopause) we men, in the majority, our bodies after a certain age start having ED issues. If you tried pills, injections and still cannot get an erection, don't beat yourself about it. You are one of millions of men suffering from your basic ED that comes with age. Some men get it younger than others. Have you seen guys that look 50 years old but are in their 30's? It's all genetic.

The main and most important thing that you do, is what you are doing now. Looking to see how to resolve this.

Go see a Urologist. He will start you on pills and that may solve it, if not, he/she will start you on injections or gels. Please keep in mind that for many guys this has been a temporary fix (if they worked), but eventually you'll regrese and be back at the same spot as you are today.

Listen, the ONLY regret I have since getting my implant, is that I did not do it sooner. I am literally over the moon with it. I did as much research as humanly possible and came to the conclusion that an implant was the only way to go. I had prostate removed due to prostate cancer and then I had to do 39 rounds of radiation. Basically, my dick got fried. It did not matter how many pills I took, how many injections I did, my dick did not respond.

I found the best doctor for me at the University of Miami and he was really cool and informative. I recovered faster that I expected. ONLY 1 WEEK OF DOWNTIME. After 10 days of my operation I was able to fly to the Bahamas for a meeting. Life was getting back to normal. 2 weeks after the implant I got the green light to start cycling.

Our sex life has never been better (6 months) and with the 'gear shift" exercise I do 3 times a day, I have recovered my length and girth and then some. I have all my sensations like I did when I was 15 years old.

My brother, if you can, don't waste time, go see a good urologist and get the ball rolling. Best investment you can do for yourself. This has been a God Send to me and my wife. We are like in a honeymoon that will last forever.

Rule # 1.... "when you die, you want to die regretting what you did, and not what you didn't do". The last thing is to see your life pass by and not enjoy it.

Recap, it can be phycological, the pills can resolve it. But most likely, physical.

I am here if you need to talk. Good luck my friend and stay thirsty

drayan123 wrote:How do y'all live with this?

Please give me any tips of how I can not think of my Ed that much...

How? To live with it? That's not the thing. The overriding theme to this forum is gaining the knowledge necessary to transcend ED - not live with it. Sure, there's a technicality of the language I suppose. I guess I still technically have ED, but my dick does anything and everything I ask of it today, and I ask a lot. I've spent 20 years continually working on achieving a functional overthrow of my symptoms. Diet. Exercise. Pills. Injections. Implant. The great news for you is that there is as open a world out there for you to jump into as there ever has been. More conversation, more openness, more practitioners with more skill, and more technologies.

The first thing you do is aggressively research urologists in your area who are the most knowledgeable and competent and focused specifically on men's sexual health. They are out there. Make an appointment. Study up prior and get a written list of your questions prepared and take that with you along with copies of your detailed medical history. Have a dialogue with your new doc. Ask, ask, ask, ask, ask. You are going to hear ideas for approaches - if not to address root cause of your ED, then to overcome its symptoms. Then the ball is in your court to follow through and start on...something. And to become a student of ED and ED therapies.

I have no idea what you're referencing by wishing you'd "stayed away from certain stuff".

Regardless of what this is, or was...what difference does that make today? I'm suggesting to you that those things don't matter one fucking whiff. They're powerless to you today. They're the past - if they even mattered at all in your ED.

What matters is what you do with today. With tomorrow morning. With the next day.

I encourage you to put maximal thought and energy and effort in to what you can make of your next step, and dispense promptly with past regrets. Regret is an ugly path and will do nothing but eat you alive, and your sex life is only one subset of things ruined by regret.

Tons of guys on here, myself included, will chat and help you forward, but you've got to drive the bus here and invest heavily in yourself.

The past is over, very simple. You can't undo what has been done. Now is the time to think of the future. Interview surgeons, learn about implants. Don't get sidetracked by some website promising a cure. Make a sensible plan. Stick to it. Modern medice practices in most major counties have medical people & facilities that provide a reasonable treatment.
This is your answer. This is your way forward.

There are many causes for ED. But the cause should not matter. Like with any other illness. So what I finally did was follow advice on this board and make it a goal to fix it. I read that nearly 50% of men who have ED never told anyone and just suffered with it. I was one of those for a long time. I could not even bring it up with my doctor. So if you broke an arm by being careless it is not treated any different than if someone else broke your arm? It should not make any difference with ED. It is broken and can in most all cases be fixed. So make a plan to get it fix and be able to change the plan a bit with the exception of getting this fixed. If you think you need to see a councilor, then you may want to try that to help out until you get closer to fixing this. As far as doctors go a low volume doctor that has very little interest in implants is what you need to avoid if you can. There is a cosmetic part of this that makes a huge difference in outcome. That is why many of the big-name doctors include cosmetic in the practice name. Not every very good doctor dose that though. But you need to find a really good doctor and make a plan on what to do. The longer you delay the longer it will take to get this part of you back. For me it made a big difference when I decided I was not going to get this part of me back. I was going to do whatever it took to fix this.

drayan123 wrote:Hey folks I know my Ed was the reason of my stupidity and still today it haunts me and weakens me as a man that only if I stayed away from certain stuff I would’ve never had a problem with my dick. I wanted to ask how do you guys deal with something like this bothering you because I cry like a baby literally every night thinking about how my life could’ve been if my dick was alright. I ignore so many girls I have so many girls messaging me to meet then go dates and even have sex with them but I know I can’t perform which sets me back it’s just so upsetting for someone my age . Please give me any tips of how I can not think of my Ed that much have you tried a therapist?

Drayan123,

You have posed the question in a forum where a large portion of the men here have chosen NOT to live with it, but took the "nuclear option" of an implant so they would not have to live with it. There are other options than an implant and posting in the "General" section might get a wider range of answers than you will get here.

Dealing with ED (whether you choose to treat it or find a "workaround") is VERY important and I am glad to see the question posed. I chose (by being forced to, by embarrassment and lack of resources) to live with my ED for a few decades as it got slowly worse. I dealt by learning other ways of pleasing a woman sexually (finger, tongue and toys) and pleasing her by kindness, massage, politeness, patience, etc. Finally, my ED became terminal (I could still get erections with medications and strong stimulation, but they would not last more than a few seconds without the stimulation required putting me over the top to orgasm..very frustrating). So I girded my loins and found that I WAS eligible for an implant, skipped VEDs, suppositories and injections and never looked back.

If I had girls (or when I did have girls) willing to have sex with me, I usually warned them that "My erection does not perform as well as it should, but I will make sure to pleasure you as much as I possibly can." and had very few refuse at least one "audition" and plenty that stuck around, at least for a while. I do admit, in retrospect, that I did lose a few relationships over my inability to do coitus properly. So, I am super happy to have gotten my implant. But if I could have performed adequately without implantation I likely would be just as happy with my natural erections. There are advantages to an implant (unlimited duration being the top of the list), but advantages to a natural erection, too (spontaneity of erection, tops, as women appreciate being able to take credit for "authoring" their man's erection - it validates their desirability, I think).

Lost Sheep wrote:

drayan123 wrote:Hey folks I know my Ed was the reason of my stupidity and still today it haunts me and weakens me as a man that only if I stayed away from certain stuff I would’ve never had a problem with my dick. I wanted to ask how do you guys deal with something like this bothering you because I cry like a baby literally every night thinking about how my life could’ve been if my dick was alright. I ignore so many girls I have so many girls messaging me to meet then go dates and even have sex with them but I know I can’t perform which sets me back it’s just so upsetting for someone my age . Please give me any tips of how I can not think of my Ed that much have you tried a therapist?

Drayan123,

You have posed the question in a forum where a large portion of the men here have chosen NOT to live with it, but took the "nuclear option" of an implant so they would not have to live with it. There are other options than an implant and posting in the "General" section might get a wider range of answers than you will get here.

Dealing with ED (whether you choose to treat it or find a "workaround") is VERY important and I am glad to see the question posed. I chose (by being forced to, by embarrassment and lack of resources) to live with my ED for a few decades as it got slowly worse. I dealt by learning other ways of pleasing a woman sexually (finger, tongue and toys) and pleasing her by kindness, massage, politeness, patience, etc. Finally, my ED became terminal (I could still get erections with medications and strong stimulation, but they would not last more than a few seconds without the stimulation required putting me over the top to orgasm..very frustrating). So I girded my loins and found that I WAS eligible for an implant, skipped VEDs, suppositories and injections and never looked back.

If I had girls (or when I did have girls) willing to have sex with me, I usually warned them that "My erection does not perform as well as it should, but I will make sure to pleasure you as much as I possibly can." and had very few refuse at least one "audition" and plenty that stuck around, at least for a while. I do admit, in retrospect, that I did lose a few relationships over my inability to do coitus properly. So, I am super happy to have gotten my implant. But if I could have performed adequately without implantation I likely would be just as happy with my natural erections. There are advantages to an implant (unlimited duration being the top of the list), but advantages to a natural erection, too (spontaneity of erection, tops, as women appreciate being able to take credit for "authoring" their man's erection - it validates their desirability, I think).

What do you mean by "tops"? Sorry, didn't get it, but I'm interested in the meticulous research about what I can lose with getting an implant. Don't want to meet with unexpected bad surprises if I'll need one

snowerhood wrote:

Lost Sheep wrote:

drayan123 wrote:Hey folks I know my Ed was the reason of my stupidity and still today it haunts me and weakens me as a man that only if I stayed away from certain stuff I would’ve never had a problem with my dick. I wanted to ask how do you guys deal with something like this bothering you because I cry like a baby literally every night thinking about how my life could’ve been if my dick was alright. I ignore so many girls I have so many girls messaging me to meet then go dates and even have sex with them but I know I can’t perform which sets me back it’s just so upsetting for someone my age . Please give me any tips of how I can not think of my Ed that much have you tried a therapist?

(edited down for focus)
If I had girls (or when I did have girls) willing to have sex with me, I usually warned them that "My erection does not perform as well as it should, but I will make sure to pleasure you as much as I possibly can." and had very few refuse at least one "audition" and plenty that stuck around, at least for a while. I do admit, in retrospect, that I did lose a few relationships over my inability to do coitus properly. So, I am super happy to have gotten my implant. But if I could have performed adequately without implantation I likely would be just as happy with my natural erections. There are advantages to an implant (unlimited duration being the top of the list), but advantages to a natural erection, too (spontaneity of erection, tops, as women appreciate being able to take credit for "authoring" their man's erection - it validates their desirability, I think).

What do you mean by "tops"? Sorry, didn't get it, but I'm interested in the meticulous research about what I can lose with getting an implant. Don't want to meet with unexpected bad surprises if I'll need one

Sorry, poor wording.

Spontaneity of erection is the most important feature of a natural erection, as women appreciate being able to take credit for "authoring" their man's erection - it validaes their desirability, I think.

I used the verb "tops" as a synonym for "trumps" or "overshadows" or "is at the top of the list" or "ranks highest".