FrankTalk.org

Hi everyone! First I just want to say thank you. I stumbled upon this page a couple weeks ago and it’s changed my outlook on life. While I’ve heard the term penile prosthetic or implant at some point over the past 20+ years of fighting ED, I never really understood what it was. The picture in my head was some sort of dildo that would more or less replace your dick or maybe something more like a penis pump where there’s some clunky device you have to use…I dunno, but after reading countless stories on here and seeing the outcome for those that have been willing to share pictures, I have to say again, thank you.

I’ve had ED since my first sexual encounters. In fact, I’m pretty sure every single first encounter I’ve ever had with a new girl was a failure. Most of the time the second and third attempts were as well (if they stuck around that long). I went to doctors and a urologist who all refused to even perform some basic testing, told me it was probably psychological since I was young and handed me some Cialis. The Cialis and at other times Viagra were great…at giving me huge migraine-level headaches, back pain, and stuffy nose for a week after taking them, unfortunately they did basically nothing for my erections.

My main problem has been that I need constant stimulation. A typical experience for me…I’ll be deep in foreplay fingering someone and she’ll be using her hand to get me hard…then she gets distracted by what I’m doing and stops even for just a few seconds…and away it goes. If we focus on getting me hard, I can get in sometimes, but a change in positions is all it takes to lose it again or I have to focus so much on my stimulation that I PE in a minute or so. It’s gotten worse over the past 5 years or so, I’m probably only able to successfully able to have sex 20% of the time, if that. I’ve never used condoms appropriately in my pre-married days because every time I tried to put one on I’d lose my erection. I’m not proud that I’d try to convince girls not to use them with me, luckily never caught or transmitted anything (not that I ever had much sex anyway..how could I).

I’ve been married for 10 years, we’re separated as of 3 months ago and likely divorcing. Sex has always been a huge issue in our relationship. At some point she gave up on my ability to perform, I did too. Over the years we’ve lost any sort of romantic or sexual connection and are mostly just coparents/roommates for the past couple years. We’ve tried therapy (couples and individual) and we’re at a point that even if sex were no longer an issue it’s probably too late. She brought up wanting to have sex with other people over a year ago, which I wasn’t ok with since she would rarely even try with me anymore. Eventually she started pursuing that anyway and when I found out her intentions things went downhill fast. Our issues aren’t 100% caused by my ED, she’s got plenty of her own issues…but it’s certainly has been a major contributing factor to the downfall of our marriage.

But, the last few months have been a wake up call. I’ve been taking better care of myself and trying to address the things in my life that I haven’t been happy with. This has included more exercise, getting back in therapy, meditation, spending more quality time with our daughter and setting boundaries with my work. And of course one of the top priorities has been figuring out something…anything…that I can do to have a sex life again. Before finding this site, I was kinda hopeless about it. I knew oral drugs didn’t work for me and I’d heard of injections but had heard a lot of the downsides as well and am not comfortable doing injections for the next 40+ years even if they did work that long and didn’t have other potential side effects. (Like some of you I want to be having sex well into my 80s).

Long story short, I’ve brought the topic up with my doctor, she is having me do some more testing to rule out anything that may be causing the issues, but I’m fully ready for an implant be there a physical reason found or not. I've scheduled an online consultation with Dr. Hakky for the end of the month (earliest he could see me). In my opinion things aren’t going to magically get better. Whatever is wrong physical or psychological, I’ve had for over 20 years, I’m ready to move on.

Welcome. You will like Dr. Hakky.
Best wishes.
Mike

friend,

At 42 years of age, you are much too young to be involuntarily retired from a vigorous, colorful, and enjoyable, sex life. I read every word of your post, and I can relate to a lot of it. in particular the struggles you are having in your marriage. I myself have been separated from my Brazilian wife for a little more than a year. We’ve been together for 12 years, married for seven, but in that final year before the separation things really went South.

we were always very open sexually, and had great communication for a long time. She was open to anything, was bisexual, love to be nude on the beach, or any place outdoors, and participated in the swinging world with me for about three years. Honestly, they were some of the best times of my life.

Along the way, my own sexual performance started to decline. Tried to pills and injections which worked for a while. Until they didn’t. My experience near the end was very much like yours. Unreliable, changing positions would cause my erection to go away. And in the swinger world, we were meeting lots of willing male partners, who had no problems with her whatsoever. Overtime she became critical of my performance, and I sensed that she was overall rather put off by me. Of course, when you pick up that vibe from someone, you instinctively withdrawal. Inwardly, I guess I was feeling rejection. That only increased overtime along with her dissatisfaction. Anyway, we will be divorced in the coming months.

We’ve been separated so long, however, that I’ve had time to already mentally get past this. Now it’s just a formality.

The decision to get the implant is a difficult one. Few decisions we make in our lives, it seems are truly irrevocable. If you buy a house, you can always sell it. If you declare a major in college, you can always change it. If you don’t like your job, you can find another one. But this one is truly irrevocable.

I found myself getting depressed as time went on. I absolutely was as horny as I ever was, desired, sex, and the body was just not “rising“ to the occasion. I was actually relieved when I discovered that the organic cause of it all was venous leakage. Now at last I had something to hold onto that pointed to it being something other than “just in my mind“.

I probably look at every YouTube video from every doctor on the subject of penile implants. I spoke with the famous doctor PERITO, in Miami, and then, six days ago I was implanted by Dr. CLAVELL in Houston.

I have had virtually no pain! Because I iced heavily in the first three days I have almost no bruising or swelling. I’ve only taken three Tylenol tablets since the surgery itself.

Another thing that might be of great importance to you is the timing of your decision. because you are capable of having sex “20%“ of the time, that means you STILL have blood flow going into your penis. That is of the utmost importance in terms of not losing links with the implant. As you know, the day of your last direction is the day you’re penis officially begins to shrink. You still have healthy tissue, and that will serve you very well in terms of the outcome. Consider that some of our brethren, here have not had an erection for five or more years, and based on what I have read here, the longer one waits, the more one has to deal with the subject of size loss.

remember, studies, across-the-board show that the satisfaction rate is over 90% with the implant. Now that I am “on the other side“ and I’m sitting here in my bathrobe simply recovering in my living room, I have a profound sense that something almost magical has happened in my life.

So, you hang in there, check in on the forum and share your thoughts. If not on the public forum, please write to me a private message. I am willing to talk by message or by phone. Best wishes.

Sounds like a great plan to proceed with an implant. Right now is a great time to start using a VED! Get those tissues stretched out to their full potential building up to an implant. Read somewhere that it’s a great idea even up to 6 months prior to start using one regularly. Do your research on it and good luck in the future. I personally did pills for 10 years and then injection for 16 months. Now I’ve been implanted almost 8 months and it’s amazing!! No regrets! Best decision I’ve made in the way of ED. I began using a VED about 6 months before I was implanted also. Took a few months but I’m now at my pre surgery length and a little bigger in girth than I ever remember being in the earlier days!

Welcome, glad you found FT. There is so much information here, I wish I had found this site before going through with my surgery. But at three years with it now, it is one of the best decisions ever.

One of the happiest days of my life, today I entered the bionic brotherhood!

I had no, none, zilch apprehension about the surgery in the lead up the past few days. I guess that's a good sign you're ready for this. I had to travel from Saudi Arabia where I currently live, so it was a long trip and big investment. (had some other work to do while in country as well, so that helped).

Dr Hakky and his team were super professional, answered all my questions and overall just made me feel comfortable. The facility seemed well equipped, and I had no concerns after seeing the setup that I was getting the same care I would at a hospital. Went to sleep and a few seconds later woke up with an implant in me. 24 cm Titan + 1 rte. They set me up with a post-op care nurse named Terri to take me back to the hotel and stay with me for a few hours to help with anything I need. She is a true delight.

So far very minimal pain although I'm sure it'll come and go. I have plenty of pain med options to handle it in any case.

Overall so far could not be happier

Day 1 post-op update:

Woke up after 4 hours of sleep in a good amount of pain...I think my body was trying to have nocturnal erections and my PC muscle kept contracting, slightly engorging my head which is quite tender and man did that not feel great. Managing when I take pain meds better today in hopes of better sleep. With the meds feeling not bad. Got some laxative meds, hoping they help as well.



Not much to see yet. I get to remove the bandages on Sunday and I have the drain taken out on Monday. I know some doctors don't do the drain thing, but I'm hopefully it greatly reduces the swelling and bruising. We will see on Sunday!

I'm only 30-50% pumped up, I'll be activated next Thursday. I can't wait. Just touching what little is exposed and the top of the shaft feels nice, can't wait to see this thing in all it's glory.

Congrats on going through with the implant! I'm sure you'll love it once you are all healed up.
I have to give my thoughts on the drain bag. Leave it in! I think that will keep the swelling down. I did my implant out patient and had to remove the drain bag myself. Could not wait to get that thing off me and removed it first thing the morning after. My swelling was bad, I should have waited.

Day 2 post-op:

I got impatient and un-mummified myself this morning. Overall extremely pleased!
I'm only pumped to maybe 30%. I was able to bend it down a little and get breakfast at the hotel in loose sweatpants. I'm not even close to fully pumped but decided to measure. Currently sitting at a hair over 6" length and 4.5" girth. Pre-op I was 7" long on my best day with full glands engorgement and 5.25" girth or so. I think I'll get back to those numbers with any luck.

Poking around near the right side of the base I can clearly make out what I guess is the tubing to the reservoir and pump. I can just make out something that must be where the reservoir is buried. Neither of these things are distracting at all.

The pump is very easy to find and feels just like the practice one. It's hidden right between its two friends. It's not visible at all but it's right there. Pulling down on it causes very minimal soreness, but the deflate right now is very close to the incision site since I don't have all that large of scrotum. I don't have any swelling so finding the deflate is very obvious. I'm horribly tempted to give the pump a squeeze, but I'll hold off until my next appt with Dr Hakky on Monday and beg him to let me squeeze it then.

The one big scare is the underside of my penis is 90% numb from the incision all the way to the glands. The glands and top of the penis are totally normal. I really hope this is just a typical after surgery thing. Did other people have this?

Very little pain today, switched to non-prescription pain meds. Finally had a BM (it is not normal for me to go 3 days without a BM so thankful the laxatives kicked in).

Looks GREAT for day 2! Congratulations.