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My wife of 10 years has basically, by her own admission, lost all interest in sex. Before implant surgery we would attempt (her fulfilling a perceived wifely duty) anywhere from 2-4 times a week, almost 100% with the same result, her saying let's just stop. Years of this has undoubtedly been a major factor in her loss of libido. Now that I have a robo-dick, I am hoping for a slow but steady recovery. Obviously women are complex creatures and nothing happens overnight. But I am hopeful that she will start to enjoy it and eventually even desire it. Anyone been down this path?

So sorry man, been there. Anything is possible, its very hard for me to not go on a rant.

If your a good man, kind respectful masculine etc… and it remains the same you need to be honest with how your feeling and let her know.

If she chooses not to work on your sexual relationship after you tell her how important it is to you then??? I know what i would do, just trying not to be a keyboard diackhead and tell you how to live the second half of life. The resentment I get from lack of sex now a days… i have a very short fuse on the subject. Thank goodness my wife still loves me.

Years ago i had to tell my wife i didnt get married to have a sister, you want xyz… i listed out a ton of shit i did/do just for her, … i was 100 percent done, and she was still giving it up a couple times a week. I want every day when we both feel good. If she stopped having sex with me and didnt go in to get her hormones checked etc… we would be done.

My wife started hormone replacement a couple years ago, testosterone is part of the pellets she gets. Made a big difference for us, maybe saved the marriage.

My wife was through with sex long before I got my implant. She has never wanted to have anything to do with it, which is fine with me since a stroke killed my libido so I don't give a hoot anymore.

oldirtybastard wrote:My wife of 10 years has basically, by her own admission, lost all interest in sex. Before implant surgery we would attempt (her fulfilling a perceived wifely duty) anywhere from 2-4 times a week, almost 100% with the same result, her saying let's just stop. Years of this has undoubtedly been a major factor in her loss of libido. Now that I have a robo-dick, I am hoping for a slow but steady recovery. Obviously women are complex creatures and nothing happens overnight. But I am hopeful that she will start to enjoy it and eventually even desire it. Anyone been down this path?

Hi Brother, I'm so sorry that you've dealt with ED for such a long time. Hopefully your wife will be willing to try out the new Bionic you. I would say, just take it slow even though you are ready to take off and bang till the roosters come home.

My wife is not a nympho with a high libido, so for me things didn't change a lot.

We didn't deal with total ED like you had to, pills were still working for me about 60 percent of the time after I turned 60, but I would still get soft toward the end of intercourse which was frustrating. Then I had a procedure done for my benign enlarged prostrate 19 May 2021 and it gave me total ED, so I only had to deal with total ED for about 6 months before I got the implant then another 8 weeks before I could use my new Bionic Dick. It keeps getting better each week.

We are now communicating more about sex and we hope to have sex more often.

I know you've got a long journey getting back to some type of normal sexual relations.

Good Luck Brother

I went thru a lot of ups and downs with my wife over the last 11 years prior to implant.. we Faught argued and almost separated several times over my ED. She continually wanted to say I was not in love or didn’t find her attractive. All this just made the ED worse when I couldn’t even perform with pills and then with trimix. So fast forward to now 13 months after implant…. Things are WAY better than anytime in the past 8-10 years and getting better every month! She’s even surprised me with some mid day romps. That’s something we’ve not done in over 10 years so yes there’s hope! Don’t rush it and don’t put too much pressure on her if she’s worth keeping. Took many years to get to the point of implant but just because you fix your issues don’t mean she can change back overnight… been married 37 years next week it’s been a rollercoaster at times but has been well worth the ride !

I go to work 50-60 hours a week, come home and am expected to not make a mess, watch tv shows that both of us like, goto all of my inlaws events, make sure if I unload the dish washer that everything goes into places she likes. Everything hung on the walls is hers, expected to care about her mood, take care of the property that I didn't want. Limit my golf time, be nice to her friends, give praise for washing my cloths even though I told her not to. Don't drink, only when she wants to drink... just to mention a few, and the only thing I ask in return is to be intimate with me and give me peace when I get home.

The peace thing is hit or miss and the intimacy is so so. Without the kids I would have been divorced 20x over, without intimacy there is no marriage I would be done tomorrow with or without kids. I have so many friends that got divorced over this issue, with good sex a marriage can withstand alot, without there is no point.

Just my 2 cents of bitter advice.

Witheringhog wrote:I go to work 50-60 hours a week, come home and am expected to not make a mess, watch tv shows that both of us like, goto all of my inlaws events, make sure if I unload the dish washer that everything goes into places she likes. Everything hung on the walls is hers, expected to care about her mood, take care of the property that I didn't want. Limit my golf time, be nice to her friends, give praise for washing my cloths even though I told her not to. Don't drink, only when she wants to drink... just to mention a few, and the only thing I ask in return is to be intimate with me and give me peace when I get home.

The peace thing is hit or miss and the intimacy is so so. Without the kids I would have been divorced 20x over, without intimacy there is no marriage I would be done tomorrow with or without kids. I have so many friends that got divorced over this issue, with good sex a marriage can withstand alot, without there is no point.

Just my 2 cents of bitter advice.

Sometimes we don't really know how good we have it, until you hear from someone else that their pasture is not as green as you think it is.
I'm retired now since April of 2020, 23 Years U.S. Air Force and 20 years facility engineer at a large mall in San Antonio, Texas. My wife is retired also, 23 years U.S. Air Force and 15 or so years with Military contract jobs at the local Air Base.
So yes, I remember the long hours and we would both be tired after getting home from work and try to schedule intimacy.
My wife doesn't mind messes as long as I help her clean up.
I do like to watch a lot of her shows and movies and she will occasionally watch some of my TV shows and movies, I like action and sci-fi, Mandolorian, Boba Fett and other shows like that. lol
I like most of her relatives, so I'm ok with that, her Mom died in a car wreak when she was 16 and her Dad who didn't want to have anything to do with her passed away while we were in Germany, in 1993.
Yeah, I would say that all the things on the walls are hers, because she is the one who has shopped for it. I've put most everything on the walls, so I have a part in it too. lol
We don't use the dishwasher a lot but I don't mind unloading it and putting things away.
We do have 1.3 acres so I do most all the yard work and trimming, but she will definitely get out and help me, if I need her.
We do like the property because we aren't right up next to other neighbors.
I don't play golf, but I have a road bike and cycle a lot, she likes it that I get exercise and gives her some alone time.
I do coordinate with her about cycling in case in interferes with something.
My wife loves to do the laundry and doesn't want me to do it, all I have to do is make sure I spot treat my cycling kits and help put it away when done.
We both don't drink, so I don't have to worry about that.
Keep hanging in there Hog, yes marriage is give and take and team work.
I know things are getting better for you on the sexual side
Stay positive, there are guys out there that have it way worse than us.

Good post Sworks,

I have it better than all of my closest friends, minus one who got divorced over this issue and has a new girl friend that puts out all the time. She is also divorced and understands the importance of being intimate with her new man as she made very common mistakes in her marriage by not putting out. The grass is rarely greener, but putting up with sexual denial for years on end is no way to live life.

Women let themselves go, gain weight, stop waring makeup for bedroom fun, star fish their way through their chore and then expect men to provide, give them all the money and the laundry list of BS I mentioned above. I believe you need to hold them accountable for the lack of intimacy and be willing to back it up by leaving. If you communicate how important this is and she does nothing to improve the situation then its time to go.

Now, I am happy being alone, I know alot of people are not, and I do think divorce is a bad thing in general and it would be best for the kids to keep your family unit together. But that is not all on us, you communicate your needs and if she ignores them, that it's not on you, that is 100% on her. The only other choice is to eat it, suck in your most basic desire for your wife and for me... be resentful for the rest of my life. I personally would rather go without sex for the rest of my life than to deal with a wife that dictates every aspect of your life and when you can or can't have bedroom fun. And she better do her best to act, no star fishing through something that should be fun.

My wife are in a good place right now but rewind 10 years ago and I was in a situation where I wanted sex every night, I got it 1-2 times a week. That was totally unacceptable for me. I had the talk and she decided to make an effort and has maintained that for a long time. There is hope, but you need to confront the situation head on to ever see an improvement and if she comes back with I don't even like sex... that's all you need to know, cut your losses and communicate your needs before ever tying the knot again.

oldirtybastard wrote:My wife of 10 years has basically, by her own admission, lost all interest in sex. Before implant surgery we would attempt (her fulfilling a perceived wifely duty) anywhere from 2-4 times a week, almost 100% with the same result, her saying let's just stop. Years of this has undoubtedly been a major factor in her loss of libido. Now that I have a robo-dick, I am hoping for a slow but steady recovery. Obviously women are complex creatures and nothing happens overnight. But I am hopeful that she will start to enjoy it and eventually even desire it. Anyone been down this path?

Well, living in Texas with my California girl who I met at at age 40 - life was and is good. After a few years of ED I got an implant after we decided we were both tired of no sex. I got the surgery and she got a new, young gyno. She helped my wife a lot. So we both helped each other.

From an old man, know this

Men have to lead. Women will respect and follow if you lead. Indecision invites contempt.
A woman will not love a man she does not respect.
A woman's desire is not spontaneous, but accumulates as she follows her man's lead and respects his wishes.

You can help her to get help, but if she won't get help----do you want another 40 years of no sex? I hope she is considerate of your needs and desires, but we have all seen far too many instances of the oppoosite.

Perhaps she needs to become aware that a man at age 40 is at his peak with many options.

Or do what we do, go on a cruise and have lots of sex all day and night.

My wife was down to having sex when her hormones kicked in on 1 day a month. Then I got PC. Doc ripped all my nerves out. I got an implant 9 months later. I was getting it for myself. My wife got more weird and would not kiss. No touching or intimate hugging at all. I feel totally isolated. I crave companionship and closeness. Recently she was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast and bone cancer and is getting hospice care. I am her #1 care giver. Changing diapers showering her and such. Last week a widow lady I know needed some help with her kitchen sink so I went to help her out. S
ide note, She is a cute little thing and likes to hug. We spent few minutes talking and it was nice. My wife called my cell phone so I had to hurry back home. She says where were you. I didnt lie and told her. Holyshit she blew up. You just cant wait till I am dead she says. FUCK! The next day I go to a message parlor and spend an hour fucking a young asian girl. That is not what I need. I need closeness from a woman. My wife and I had a great sex life for 55 years but the last 5 have been hell. Sorry, just needed together it all out.