mod123 wrote:Would like to get feedback from members who suffer from premature ejaculation and had an implant. What is the difference after the implant? Could you keep on going after ejaculating after having the implant? Has this been a game changer for you? Has this improved your sex life and your overall confidence?
Definitely a game-changer.
As a youth, my erections were robust and sometimes troublingly so; morning erections sometimes prevented urinating until they were dealt with.
When I began to have sex I came early the first times with a girl (as so many young men do). If she would allow me to continue with sex, my refractory period would allow a second round wherein I would last longer. This was satisfactory for a few years. But I was unschooled in pleasing a woman, so satisfactory for me was still often unsatisfactory for her.
Then classic ED by venous leakage (I found the clinical diagnosis and the term much later) hit.
In my early 30s erectile collapse became problematic. In order to keep my erection, I had to maintain a level of stimulation that increased over the years. Ultimately, the level of stimulation to keep my erections and the level of stimulation that would produce an orgasm (the "window of opportunity") got closer and closer to each other. Ultimately, by my late 50s, that window closed.
If I slowed down to prevent ejaculation my erection would collapse. If I kept up stimulation to keep the erection going, orgasm and ejaculation was inevitable, along with refractory collapse. And the refractory period was getting longer as I aged.
Oral medications helped. The PDE5 inhibitors increased arterial bloodflow in enough to overcome the venous leakage out. Alas, the effects are temporary as the condition of VL is progressive and the drugs are subject to developing tolerance.
When the window of opportunity between stimulation and collapse closed, I was lucky enough to discover an implant was a possibility for me. My decision was easy.
After my convalescence, I discovered that my confidence was still a hurdle to having sex, but I have since overcome that handicap and am now able to have sex satisfactorily for us both.
Some things I have observed between my pre-ED sex, pre-implant sex and post-implant sex are
1) that the urgency for sex is diminished. Having an erection that does not demand, "Use me or lose me, and I mean RIGHT NOW!", means that element is gone. That is, I know if I wait, sex is still possible, so there is no hurry. And the rarity that makes sex so valuable is also diminished.
2) Fellatio is less orgasmic and less enjoyable (for unknown reasons - possibly nerve damage during surgery or maybe there are differences in sensation between a "blood-filled dick" vs a "dildo inside a penis"). I rarely orgasm by fellatio now where before implant, when ED had rendered erections very rare, fellatio was the only way to orgasm, very reliable (even with a fairly limp dick) and quite enjoyable.
3) The ability to have sex and withdraw to change positions (without losing my erection) is HUGELY liberating.
4) The ability to stay inside my partner after orgasm is delightful (and a fantasy of mine even before ever having sex).
5) As an implanted man, I am actually able to adjust the firmness, rigidity and even size of my erected penis at will-pretty neat, huh?
6) Continuing coitus after orgasm is certainly possible with an implant. Your penis is locked into an erect position regardless of the usual stimulations. You could be unconscious or even dead (indeed, penile prostheses were tested in cadavers before approval by the FDA) and still capable of penetrative sex. You may run out of energy or desire but your penis' erection will not betray you. Your spongiosum tissue will likely deflate, but the implant will still hold your (now slightly looser) penis in your partner.
7) Sometimes I experience hyper-sensitivity of my penis (especially the glans) after orgasm and have to stop because it stings. Other men have mentioned this also. Usually this only lasts a short time.
8) Foreplay is not as much fun because foreplay always produced tumescence and sexy feelings in my loins. Not so much with the implant. The lack of the natural stimulus-response of expectation-arousal-foreplay-tumescence-erection of an intact penis is gone, or, at least, much more subtle. My erection is "forced" by hydromechanical forces. This is nowhere near as nice-feeling as a throbbing, hot, blood-filled dick. I miss that stimulus-response. Penetration, though, is WONDERFUL. With ED, I found it very difficult to achieve penetration, but with the implant, I am guaranteed to be able to get inside my lover's vagina.
About confidence:
When I first began to notice my E.D. it was like this:
For a LONG time I was plagued by the nagging anxiety of the questions,
"Will I stay hard long enough to please her?" then,
"Will I stay hard enough to have an orgasm myself?",
"Will I get hard enough to even get inside her?"
and ultimately the near certainty,
"You will probably not even GET hard.". And that NEAR certainty was worse than a certainty.
But then I got an implant....because there was nothing worth going back to if the operation failed.
Ultimately the anxiety of, "Will I stay hard?" is gone, (not to mention the anxiety in the back of HER mind, "Will HE stay hard long enough for me to have even ONE orgasm?"). With my implant, sex can be as carefree, spontaneous and playful as can be.
And during sex, I don't concentrate on keeping my erection. I am free to concentrate of making the most of an erection with staying power, concentrate on how it feels to her and concentrate on being the kind of considerate man IN BED as I try to be OUT OF BED that makes us (her and me) happy with each other.
An implant is not to be taken lightly, though. Despite the advantages, there are costs, disadvantages and risks. Medical science and having a GOOD surgeon with an extensive depth of experience and judgement informed by that experience has reduced the risks and the costs are manageable. But the disadvantage of not having a self-erecting penis (which some partners value as a validation of their own desirability and confirmation of your affection for them) is undeniable. This can be addressed by you being more supportive and attentive. But there is one disadvantage that is unavoidable. An implant renders you impotent for the rest of your life if it fails. (Note, you can still impregnate a woman; sperm and semen production continue.) But your erections are now 100% dependent on the implant.
The first surgical consult I got was with a urological surgeon who does a lot of implants but he told of one he regretted doing.
It was on a fairly fit man (military pilot, who HAVE to be fit) who would have been a ideal candidate for Viagra. Unfortunately, Viagra had not yet been released. So, the man got an implant a few months before Viagra was available. Almost 20 years later he (the surgeon) still feels badly for that decision, though it was the best option at the time. But just a couple of months would have meant a huge difference to his patient.
An implant virtually destroys any remaining erectile function, rendering you 100% impotent, except for the erection the implant provides. And the implant erection, though pretty good, is not perfect.
If you are willing to lose what erectile function you have now, you can go for the implant. There is no miracle cure on the horizon (that we know of).
The chance that you will lose your own erectile function with an implant is 100%. The chance that the implant will give you erectile function is very high (failure rate is very low).
I rolled the dice because I calculated the odds were good and I hade very little erectile function to lose. All sex was oral except for the rare penetration which never lasted more than a minute or two.
I miss giving my girlfriend the joy of a rising penis when she touches me. So does she. But the trade-off for an erection that is reliable and durable is worth it.
Getting an implant is like a man with bad ankles who can hobble through a 20 minute mile but is offered prosthetic feet that allow him to run a 5 minute mile. But if/when they fail, puts him in a wheelchair - until he gets new prostheses. I was that 20 minute miler with complete failure looming on the horizon, so I opted for the prosthesis. I do not regret it.
Is your condition bad enough that you would not be willing to go back to it even if the implant completely failed? If there is nothing to go back to, your decision is simple. If you are unsure about making this irreversible choice, you may not be quite ready.
