Martin25 wrote:(edited for brevity)
I’m posting because I’d like to hear the thoughts of others and their input. I might also post in another forum if that is deemed more appropriate… thank you all in advance…
Welcome to the forum, Martin25.
You might pose your question in the "General Discussion" section or the "Sexuality" section as well. You will get more exposure in the "Implants" section (this one) because it is the most read, but in those other section may be seen by men not interested in implants who might miss your question here.
I may have a unique perspective to share with you. For one thing, I had ED that became severe several years ago, but was fortunate enough to have a lover who did not mind oral stimulation and use of a dildo to bring her to orgasms. We had a pretty good sex life like that. I could achieve penetration and orgasm inside her (albeit VERY quickly before my erection flagged) and she could have the "filled" feeling with the dildo. However, my current lover is unalterably opposed to dildos. Gladly, I have an implant now so cunnilingus and coitus is just fine. Sadly, last Octover 2023 I had a prostatectomy which, by bad luck, required the removal of the reservoir that powered my implant. This makes my situation fairly rare - a man who had an implant before prostatectomy and then lost function of the implant. My over still desires sex, eschews dildos, fellatio is out because I am incontinent and my desire to please her by cunnilingus is diminished because I know she cannot reciprocate adequately. Tends to kill my libido.
(((I know, I know, this is a relationship problem which begs open communication and I am the blockage for that. I also know that I CONSTANTLY advice members here to openly communicate with their partners - but it is hard for me to follow the adage, "Physician, heal thyself". Still trying, but I digress)))
Now that you know my history I will try to answer your questions directly:
Alternative sexual activiy can be just fine. In fact, as my ED worsened over the decades, I learned non-coital, non-standard activities that add to standard sexual practices. I likely would not have learned them without the ED. So, sex without penis-in-vagina action can be quite satisfactory. Having said that, I look forward to the day my implant's function is restored. The tubing, cylinder wrinkles, dog ears, pump bulge in the scrotum, etc are de minimis and not at all a deterrent. I would give them only a small bit of concern if I were you. If your partner has misgivings about an "inflatable dildo inside your penis", you can put that out of your mind unless your partner REALLY has a conceptual problem. It is no more "artificial" in feeling than a prosthetic thumb joint (I have one in my hand), though it does require pumping up to work which my thumb does not. Most partners do not care one bit that you have an impant. Of those who do have objections, the overwhelming majority change their attitude once they experience the restored capacity of their lover's erection. That leaves only a handful who do not accept the implant. I recommend couples counseling for men afflicted with such a partner.
When I got my implant, I appreciated it not only for restoring my ability to have coitus. I appreciated it for my ability to just HAVE an erection. The weight of an erect phallus ahead of my pelvis was gratifying in itself and restored the bit of self-assurance I had lost (despite it being "artificial", it is real nonetheless).
As far as losing my penis; yes, I lost what residual erectile capacity I still had in late 2017 (before my operation). I do not regret losing that weak, short-lived natural erection because what I gained was a firm, durable erection virtually equal to what I had as a youth. The fact that it depends on a hydro-mechanical device, surgically implanted did not deter me nor affect my enjoyment of having it. The fact that I have lost it now (post-prostatectomy) hurts a bit, but I fully expect restoration after the prostate cancer is addressed. And I will have unalloyed joy for that.
If you do get implanted, whether your experience mirrors my happy (early) experience is up to you and your partner. But I opine that it will.
I will add: I have read a long time ago, I think perhaps Gloria Steinem, "An orgasm will a full vagina feels better than one without."
