Recent experience dating with implant
Posted: Sat Aug 24, 2024 8:52 pm
Been a while since I've posted. As an update, about 1.5 years post-op, everything is stable and penis is quite functional. I do have some loss of sensation on the underside of my shaft, probably about 3/4 of the underside I don't feel anything and a little loss of feeling in the scrotum. Ah well, makes it a little bit more difficult to get to orgasm, and oral a little less pleasurable, but overall still way better than the alternative.
It comes up a lot on here what dating is like with an implant, how and if you tell them, what girls reactions are to finding out, etc, so I wanted to share my experience. Last night was the first time having sex with this new gorgeous woman I've been dating, and man did we have a lot of sex (side note...having sex 5 times in a night is simply something that I NEVER would have been able to do at any point in my life pre-implant, and I doubt most non-implantees can do so outside of those in their 20s)...
I was able to excuse myself to use the bathroom the first two times we went at it so I could pump up most of the way. This really does work in my experience, girls don't tend to notice that you come out of the bathroom with a hardon a minute after going in, they really don't, and if they do, they don't care at all.
But as we were warming up to round three it wasn't really possible. i'd just been to the bathroom and there just wasn't going to be time to sneak in enough pumps. I also find sneaking in pumps really distracting, takes me totally out of the moment and doing whatever pleasing I'm trying to do to them, have to completely reposition my arm to get it awkwardly down to my scrotum, I feel like I have to rush in case I get the 'fuck me now' and don't have time, and it always gets me nervous they're going to notice; my pump also squeaks a decent amount if I pump quickly ...so, I figured what the hell and decided to tell her.
It's awkward....mostly because nobody has any clue that implants even exist let alone why you'd need one, or how the anatomy of penises work to really understand what they are.
To bring it up, I told her there's something I want to tell her about my penis. Told her it was no big deal but that my penis works differently than other people. I told her a couple years ago I "broke" it while having sex (ok...this isn't actually what led to my ED...some people may disagree with me making up a story about the why, but given that my diagnosis was complicated and ED in general being stigmatized, I thought it easier and less likely to have an poor reaction. Maybe it's wrong, but does it really matter?).
Anyway, she said that it's not possible to break your penis, the penis is just muscle, to which I explained well it's not like breaking a bone, but it's certainly possible and the penis is a little more complicated than that. Then I told her because of this, I can't get an erection, in the normal way. She looked at me pretty confused and I grabbed her hand and put it on the pump telling her...that's not a testicle. Then she was REALLY confused and curiously asked what is it. I gave it a few pumps and showed her this is how how I get an erection now and it still feels the same when I have sex (i thought it important to emphasize this a few times, by this point she already knew that it didn't feel different for her, but not that it was the same for me).
She asked lots of questions....asking if it really felt the same and asking if I could come, and if this meant I couldn't have any spontaneous erections, she told me that she had no idea and it just feels totally normal to her. I didn't go over any details about the implant itself beyond that there's a ball in my sack that I squeeze to get an erection. If she had asked more questions about it I would have.
After a while of questions it started to dawn on her the benefits...I hadn't really talked about the benefits because I wanted her to think about it and realize it on her own. She looks at me and says...so, this means you can be ready any time I want, doesn't it? I said 'yup'. and she says 'and...it'll stay hard as long as I want, too?' I said 'yup'. She then joked she might have to marry me haha.
She asked me why everyone with ED doesn't get this done and she said half the guys out there have erection problems and this is way better than pills. I told her there are a lot of guys that do get it done, and certainly for many it's the best long term solution, but it's invasive of course and requires surgery.
She asked me how she would know if I wanted to have sex if I don't have natural erections, and I told her I'd tell her I want to fuck her, she was happy with that and so we did another 3 times.
We didn't talk about it much after that, but she sent me a text this evening saying thanks for telling her about the implant and "That must have been very painful to go through, physically and mentally. Rest assured, you felt wonderful to me".
It comes up a lot on here what dating is like with an implant, how and if you tell them, what girls reactions are to finding out, etc, so I wanted to share my experience. Last night was the first time having sex with this new gorgeous woman I've been dating, and man did we have a lot of sex (side note...having sex 5 times in a night is simply something that I NEVER would have been able to do at any point in my life pre-implant, and I doubt most non-implantees can do so outside of those in their 20s)...
I was able to excuse myself to use the bathroom the first two times we went at it so I could pump up most of the way. This really does work in my experience, girls don't tend to notice that you come out of the bathroom with a hardon a minute after going in, they really don't, and if they do, they don't care at all.
But as we were warming up to round three it wasn't really possible. i'd just been to the bathroom and there just wasn't going to be time to sneak in enough pumps. I also find sneaking in pumps really distracting, takes me totally out of the moment and doing whatever pleasing I'm trying to do to them, have to completely reposition my arm to get it awkwardly down to my scrotum, I feel like I have to rush in case I get the 'fuck me now' and don't have time, and it always gets me nervous they're going to notice; my pump also squeaks a decent amount if I pump quickly ...so, I figured what the hell and decided to tell her.
It's awkward....mostly because nobody has any clue that implants even exist let alone why you'd need one, or how the anatomy of penises work to really understand what they are.
To bring it up, I told her there's something I want to tell her about my penis. Told her it was no big deal but that my penis works differently than other people. I told her a couple years ago I "broke" it while having sex (ok...this isn't actually what led to my ED...some people may disagree with me making up a story about the why, but given that my diagnosis was complicated and ED in general being stigmatized, I thought it easier and less likely to have an poor reaction. Maybe it's wrong, but does it really matter?).
Anyway, she said that it's not possible to break your penis, the penis is just muscle, to which I explained well it's not like breaking a bone, but it's certainly possible and the penis is a little more complicated than that. Then I told her because of this, I can't get an erection, in the normal way. She looked at me pretty confused and I grabbed her hand and put it on the pump telling her...that's not a testicle. Then she was REALLY confused and curiously asked what is it. I gave it a few pumps and showed her this is how how I get an erection now and it still feels the same when I have sex (i thought it important to emphasize this a few times, by this point she already knew that it didn't feel different for her, but not that it was the same for me).
She asked lots of questions....asking if it really felt the same and asking if I could come, and if this meant I couldn't have any spontaneous erections, she told me that she had no idea and it just feels totally normal to her. I didn't go over any details about the implant itself beyond that there's a ball in my sack that I squeeze to get an erection. If she had asked more questions about it I would have.
After a while of questions it started to dawn on her the benefits...I hadn't really talked about the benefits because I wanted her to think about it and realize it on her own. She looks at me and says...so, this means you can be ready any time I want, doesn't it? I said 'yup'. and she says 'and...it'll stay hard as long as I want, too?' I said 'yup'. She then joked she might have to marry me haha.
She asked me why everyone with ED doesn't get this done and she said half the guys out there have erection problems and this is way better than pills. I told her there are a lot of guys that do get it done, and certainly for many it's the best long term solution, but it's invasive of course and requires surgery.
She asked me how she would know if I wanted to have sex if I don't have natural erections, and I told her I'd tell her I want to fuck her, she was happy with that and so we did another 3 times.
We didn't talk about it much after that, but she sent me a text this evening saying thanks for telling her about the implant and "That must have been very painful to go through, physically and mentally. Rest assured, you felt wonderful to me".