Regretting implant. Unsure how to cope.

[ditchman]

Some of you may recall my posting back in March following my implant surgery at the first of the month. I am now 6 weeks post-op, and here is my update. I need help and direction.

I have healed up very well, minimal pain and swelling, and have been inflating and deflating the device on doctors orders for two weeks, now. I am shorter, as expected, but everything works as it should, and the initial discomfort of inflating and deflating is gone. Everything works naturally.

However, my wife and I have had intercourse twice now this weekend, and I have failed to reach climax and ejaculate on both times. My wife has reached climax, but I cannot. She is very troubled by this because she feels a duty, of sorts, to make me feel good during sex. But, I have lost feeling in my penis shaft from the surgery, and I do not know when or if that feeling will return. And because of shortening in length I cannot reach as deeply into my wife as I once did. The sensation I get during sex is a numb kind of feeling on my penis. And, the harder I try to penetrate, the more discomfort I feel from the implant device at the base of the penis, and the more anxious I become. (Note: I was a typical normal ejaculator before the implant, at least when I could get an erection, and would often cum well before my wife.)

Thus, I fear that I will not be able to cum while having sex with my wife, and that the same old anxiety and barriers have returned that were a constant presence with ED before the implant. I am in a state of desperation, and I feel as if I am going to have a mental breakdown, depression, etc.

Since the implant, I have had wet dreams, and was able to ejaculate by masturbating once in the shower (although it seemed to take forever to climax), so I know that ejaculation is physically possible. But, if I cannot climax and ejaculate when it counts during sex, I fear that my wife is going to avoid sex and withdraw. I simply cannot take that, not after all that I have been through with 10 years of ED and finally pulling the trigger on getting the implant, thinking things would be better. I was looking forward to normal relations with my wife once again, but now am not convinced that that will ever happen. I am only 45.

6 weeks post op is when you are supposed to be able to have sex again, right? Is the numbness or limited sensation I feel temporary? Will full sensation ever return? What can I realistically expect? My insurance did not cover my implant surgery, so I am paying for the entire procedure out of pocket. I fear that I may have wasted my money.

I am scheduled to travel to Cleveland Clinic for my post-op visit on April 29. I will try to contact my doctor this week and inform him of my concerns.

I am really in despair. I worry that I cannot even be mentally fit to return to my work and concentrate and be productive tomorrow. Can I be helped? What advice does anyone have? I feel I am still stuck in the ditch...

Ditchman

[greggshere]

Hey Ditchman, calm down dude, having the implant is major trauma to the penis, and it is going to take awhile for the nerves to regroup. My surgery will be 6 weeks old this coming Thursday. I started having sex this past Thursday at the 5 week mark. i too have numbness in my shaft. I have good feeling in the glans and about 1" behind the glans, but beyond that is numb on the underside. The top and sides are fine but the underside is numb. Nerves were severed and will need to reprogram, but I have every confidence that they will come back. I feel little twinges throughout the day, not pain, but like little pin pricks every now and then, not uncomfortable at all, but enough to let me know that the nerves are reprogramming and coming back. The numbness today is less than it was two weeks ago. Give it time, it will be fine. From what I've read it can take up to a year for everything to feel proper again. Just tell your wife that it has to fully heal and it will be back to normal. My wife is just happy that it works again and loves to feel it hard in her. After 3 years of either nothing or a semi rigid using a VED, we are both thrilled with where it is today. Already used it 4 times since getting the green light Thursday. I came twice out of that, but had a blast trying the other two.

[Bionic_by_AMS]

Ditchman,
I agree with greggshere ... give it time, since you had major pre-existing issues prior to Implant. The Implant surgery does not cause the lack of sensation ... most likely the major culprit is Peyronies Disease.

Most likely your glans are not as enlarged as before ... since the majority of the nerve endings are there, less size = less sensations. Blood flow to that area is a major factor ... and since you already has existing issues there ... perhaps more foreplay will help? Many guys here report it takes longer to climax than before ... since the Implant tips push out some of the blood when expanded ... less size = less sensations = longer to climax.

the more discomfort I feel from the implant device at the base of the penis

Try not pumping up so much ... see if that helps. Max pumping a CXR device is not going to make it any longer anyway ... let us know what the URO has to say about it.

[Dave92014]

Ditch, I did not pump unti 7 weeks post-op and I was not able to climax the first time I had sex. But after that I have been able to climax with no problem. Apparently I needed some healing to get everything working right. I am not a doc, but my guess is that if you are able to have wet dreams and climax with masterbation, you will soon be able to do it with sex. You might try more masterbation with a hand or vibrator to measure how well your body is working. If that works it would seem to indicate that the mechanism is working and you might just need a little more time to get sufficient healing.

As the others above said, 6 weeks post-op is too early to panic about performance,so hang in there for a few weeks longer and from what you said I'm betting everything will work well.

[Jbcsatx]

I am 6 months out and the feelings are different but be happy that you are making your wife happy- get a good bottle of lube and finish off with masterbation-it is all sex and try to be happy that you can now have sex and make your wife climax-I often have to finish off with j/o but that can be a fun part of the experience as well--I do have to use lots of lube but I love using lube anyway. Dont worry-be happy! jim

[ditchman]

Thanks for all the encouragement, guys. Much, MUCH appreciation.

I spoke with my doc today and he has confirmed everything you guys say. He says just keep trying, be patient, and that the nerves around the penis take as much as 6 months to a year to heal and get full sensation to return. He said don't go into sex having any specific goals of climaxing, just enjoy time with your wife and things will heal in time. Lots of foreplay, too, which confirms some of the comments, as well.

Once my wife understood this, she was A-OK with it all. I just don't need any more pressure during the whole process, since the implant was to take the pressure off of performing (or not performing) in the first place. My mental health is a big turnaround today. Hopefully sensation will return in the weeks to come.

Thanks, again.

[inthezone]

Hi Ditchman,
Thanks for posting. I'm at the 6 1/2 week mark this week. My doc gave me the green light. My GF and I will make our "special" night this Friday. Unfortunately, I had my tonsils removed yesterday, so I'm on lots of pain meds. - I've travelled a LOT the past 7 years, and when I had the chance, I'm taking care of all my medical stuff. However, despite the pain meds, I'm fully confident my performance won't be an issue. I ejaculated in the shower a few times, just with a few rubs a little too long. Maybe that was from a few weeks of built up juice. I'm 39 and am certain that this was the right thing for me. My GF is 32 and by god, can't stop bragging to her friends that she'll be the luckiest girl with a bionic man. I know I'll be sore and we've already set the rules for our positions until we get used to it. As far as length, a woman's anatomy and is all near the entrance. The G spot is usually less then 2 inches inside, so length isn't an issue. And we've already planned on manual masturbation if I get sore. All in all, I'm very ready. I'm very glad you posted because it's issues my girlfriend and I have planned for and talked through.
I admit that my past embarrassment from performance issues have swayed my current mindset, but after a few confidence building experiences, this will really open the where, when and how of our sex life.
Please post again in a few weeks and I'll do the same.

[infinite19]

It has been a year and half since I received my implant now ever day I am wishing that I had not had it done,I really hate the thing

[buckshot]

OK,guys, I am 79 years old...had my implant last August and it has given me back a great sex life with my wife...one that ED had stolen from me for several years.All I can tell you is to keep on using it, keep on trying, never give up and you will be surprised how great it will work and how good sex will be again. To go from no ability to have sex to once more having sex up to 3 times a week...or even more....is a flat out miracle!!! It took me a while to master the pump correctly...but if you keep on trying you'll gradually find out that it will work just fine!

[infinite19]

I am in the same boat as u I hate having my implant in ,but it looks like there is nothing that I can do about it