Regretting implant. Unsure how to cope.
Posted: Sun Apr 14, 2013 12:43 pm
Some of you may recall my posting back in March following my implant surgery at the first of the month. I am now 6 weeks post-op, and here is my update. I need help and direction.
I have healed up very well, minimal pain and swelling, and have been inflating and deflating the device on doctors orders for two weeks, now. I am shorter, as expected, but everything works as it should, and the initial discomfort of inflating and deflating is gone. Everything works naturally.
However, my wife and I have had intercourse twice now this weekend, and I have failed to reach climax and ejaculate on both times. My wife has reached climax, but I cannot. She is very troubled by this because she feels a duty, of sorts, to make me feel good during sex. But, I have lost feeling in my penis shaft from the surgery, and I do not know when or if that feeling will return. And because of shortening in length I cannot reach as deeply into my wife as I once did. The sensation I get during sex is a numb kind of feeling on my penis. And, the harder I try to penetrate, the more discomfort I feel from the implant device at the base of the penis, and the more anxious I become. (Note: I was a typical normal ejaculator before the implant, at least when I could get an erection, and would often cum well before my wife.)
Thus, I fear that I will not be able to cum while having sex with my wife, and that the same old anxiety and barriers have returned that were a constant presence with ED before the implant. I am in a state of desperation, and I feel as if I am going to have a mental breakdown, depression, etc.
Since the implant, I have had wet dreams, and was able to ejaculate by masturbating once in the shower (although it seemed to take forever to climax), so I know that ejaculation is physically possible. But, if I cannot climax and ejaculate when it counts during sex, I fear that my wife is going to avoid sex and withdraw. I simply cannot take that, not after all that I have been through with 10 years of ED and finally pulling the trigger on getting the implant, thinking things would be better. I was looking forward to normal relations with my wife once again, but now am not convinced that that will ever happen. I am only 45.
6 weeks post op is when you are supposed to be able to have sex again, right? Is the numbness or limited sensation I feel temporary? Will full sensation ever return? What can I realistically expect? My insurance did not cover my implant surgery, so I am paying for the entire procedure out of pocket. I fear that I may have wasted my money.
I am scheduled to travel to Cleveland Clinic for my post-op visit on April 29. I will try to contact my doctor this week and inform him of my concerns.
I am really in despair. I worry that I cannot even be mentally fit to return to my work and concentrate and be productive tomorrow. Can I be helped? What advice does anyone have? I feel I am still stuck in the ditch...
Ditchman
I have healed up very well, minimal pain and swelling, and have been inflating and deflating the device on doctors orders for two weeks, now. I am shorter, as expected, but everything works as it should, and the initial discomfort of inflating and deflating is gone. Everything works naturally.
However, my wife and I have had intercourse twice now this weekend, and I have failed to reach climax and ejaculate on both times. My wife has reached climax, but I cannot. She is very troubled by this because she feels a duty, of sorts, to make me feel good during sex. But, I have lost feeling in my penis shaft from the surgery, and I do not know when or if that feeling will return. And because of shortening in length I cannot reach as deeply into my wife as I once did. The sensation I get during sex is a numb kind of feeling on my penis. And, the harder I try to penetrate, the more discomfort I feel from the implant device at the base of the penis, and the more anxious I become. (Note: I was a typical normal ejaculator before the implant, at least when I could get an erection, and would often cum well before my wife.)
Thus, I fear that I will not be able to cum while having sex with my wife, and that the same old anxiety and barriers have returned that were a constant presence with ED before the implant. I am in a state of desperation, and I feel as if I am going to have a mental breakdown, depression, etc.
Since the implant, I have had wet dreams, and was able to ejaculate by masturbating once in the shower (although it seemed to take forever to climax), so I know that ejaculation is physically possible. But, if I cannot climax and ejaculate when it counts during sex, I fear that my wife is going to avoid sex and withdraw. I simply cannot take that, not after all that I have been through with 10 years of ED and finally pulling the trigger on getting the implant, thinking things would be better. I was looking forward to normal relations with my wife once again, but now am not convinced that that will ever happen. I am only 45.
6 weeks post op is when you are supposed to be able to have sex again, right? Is the numbness or limited sensation I feel temporary? Will full sensation ever return? What can I realistically expect? My insurance did not cover my implant surgery, so I am paying for the entire procedure out of pocket. I fear that I may have wasted my money.
I am scheduled to travel to Cleveland Clinic for my post-op visit on April 29. I will try to contact my doctor this week and inform him of my concerns.
I am really in despair. I worry that I cannot even be mentally fit to return to my work and concentrate and be productive tomorrow. Can I be helped? What advice does anyone have? I feel I am still stuck in the ditch...
Ditchman