FrankTalk.org

Not to be a downer, but I believe this site is only beneficial if we are honest in our posts...

Getting back to normal sexually is harder that I anticipated. Intimacy feels awkward and we have not been able to move things past the status quo and the way things have been. So, I it seems that I need to be patient with her the way she was patient with me. I remember there was this movie in the 80's called Vision Quest and there is a scene were the guy and girl are yelling at each other when the girls says something like "guys think a stiff cock is the key to romance." Now, Im not that guy and I don't think that a stiff penis is the key, but lets face it, without it I'm not getting very far. I guess I just assumed that once I was activated and able to perform that things would magically resume to normal. Not so... I have always known that ED was a complicated issue. It's complicated from so many aspects. Whether you are injecting, taking pills or VEDing, ED is so difficult to navigate and there is no handbook as every situation is different and we are complicated beings. We talk so very much on this site about the desired end results. Guys ask questions all the time about size pre op vs post op. They ask about recovery and pain. It is evident that I was short sighted when it came to the emotional, as well as physical, connection I would need to re-establish with my wife. We have been together for 20 years and I though we had it figured out, but it doesn't seem that way. We will have to figure it out and I believe we can.

So guys, as you embark on your own journey, remember that if you are in a relationship there are three distinct, but inter connected things to consider... you, your partner, and you and your partner as a couple. Best wishes.

Excellent post. Thank you.

I have thought of these things as my wife now has such low libido, she really seems uninterested in the IPP idea. I, however, think less failure on my part may stimulate her sexually, and if the implant goes as I hope it will, I will feel better about myself as more "complete". Something I have need for a very long time.

Again, I appreciate you sharing this extremely important issue. I will be hoping to read of improvement on two sides of the recovery.

bily

So what problems are you having exactly? Your post was a little bit vague. Is it that the pumping of the implant is too unnatural and kills the moment? Or is it just taking a while to get used to being sexual with your girl again?

Wolf...
We haven't been able to get to the pumping yet so I can't comment on how natural it is or is not. It seems like we need to discover each other again.

I can attest to the fact that you can actually pump without your partner even knowing. So for those single guys, not to worry, you can manipulate your implant and "get ready" without bringing attention to it. The strange part would be during the deflate because this bad boy whistles. Kind of funny actually. It whistling during the deflate like it's making noise for attention- lol. It should whistle while inflating instead- COME AND GET IT!!!.

Take care all, P1

Guys ... if you think your partner/wife may have low libido ... here is a little light reading:
"The hormone DHEA has been found to help relieve menopausal symptoms in women, as well as helping them improve their sex lives ..."
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/239463.php

Australian researchers uncover new role for DHEA in signifying low libido
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/releases/9568.php
"We found a strong relationship between the low scores for desire, arousal and responsiveness and low DHEAS levels"

Women with low libido: correlation of decreased androgen levels with female sexual function index
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/15592425

My wife (61) and I have been taking DHEA for years ... and we are still very sexually active ...

My wife tells me that many of her friends that are post-menopausal and are not on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) have lost all interest in sex. My wife is on bio-identical HRT. It helps many aspects of her life. No hot flashes, improved skin tone so she looks years younger than she is, and improved libido. bio-identical is important as the HRT used that is not bio-identical can increase the risk of cancer. You need to find a doc who is knowledgeable about bio-identical as it is tuned to the woman and not a "one size fits all". Fortunately we have such a doc.

The doc also put her on once a month testosterone injections. These definitely help her libido. She can tell that it is slowing down when she is getting near the next monthly injection.

And I agree fully with the statements above that the couple needs to be constantly working on how to improve their relationship. It is too easy to let it flounder and not notice it. The relationship is not something that happens by itself but something that needs constant nurturing. Once the implant cured my ED, I found that the next step was to work on improving the relationship now that I wasn't struggling with the ED issue. The book "His Needs, Her Needs: Building an Affair-Proof Marriage" by Willard F. Jr. Harley is a good one for that.

Dave

I had my implant 9/23 and can identify with some of what you said in your post. Truthfully, I am very pleased BUT there are a lot of things to get readjusted to---and I know it will get better over time. My wife is very much enthusiastic about sex again, but a bit apprehensive on using the refurbished tool. Also, since it has been 6 years without sex with the wife, I am overly concerned with her physical limitations and have yet to climax during intercourse. It is GREAT to be able to please her with sex, but I have some difficulty adjusting to no climax myself. I know it will get better, but it does take time - so the new normal is a bit longer in getting here than I anticipated.

DougMac,
Does the no climax only occur during intercourse? ... can you climax solo? Try solo pumped at about 75% ... does that help?
Do you have any loss of sensation ... either in the shaft or glans (head)?

Been a long time since I posted. Same problem. Still uable to climax during intercourse. Solo fine - and ejaculations seem to be longer than before--wife has loads of medical issues and I am overly concerned, but she is OK with me JO after I please her - so I do

I wonder how many guys can climax during intercourse. If so how long did it take. I am eight weeks out.