FrankTalk.org

Hello everyone.

I've been reading threads on this website for a while now and its been a great read to see the success guys have had with implants.

My situation is very unique and a lot more dire than most.

Pretty much everything in life was perfect 4/5 months back. Had just finished 5 years of uni, had 2 amazing trips away during the summer and had re-met up with my high school sweet heart that I had lost contact with when we went to different Unis. It was like every thing in life had clicked at the same time.

Then at the end of the summer I had a car accident with minor injuries (or so I thought). After the accident I noticed stopped having the urge to masturbate and had sex and that the sensation in my package didn't feel right. I thought this was just down to the stress due to the trauma of the accident and I didn't panic too much about it.

However, a few weeks later it became apparent I damaged a nerve in my pelvis. Since then things have gone from paradise to a hellish nightmare.

The injury stopped me having any spontaneous, psychogenic or nocturnal erection. I was slow to act on this and I wasn't advised by my physician that this could happen or what the consequences would be. I am now almost totally impotent brought on by hypoxia induced veno-oclusive ED. I can just about get an erection while sitting with huge amounts of manual stimulation which dies immediately when i stop. The erection also seems considerably smaller than before.

This however is only one half of the problem and the much less troubling half.
I've pretty much lost all positive sexual sensation in my package and libido has stayed close to zero. I had no idea a nerve injury could effect libido but it has literally killed it. It's like the brain to penis connection isn't there anymore. When I do masturbate (to check if how things are working) orgasm is so weak now, it could bearly be described as pleasurable and the ejaculate no longer shoots but just dribbles out. Also a secondary effect of having zero libido is that it has greatly decreased my motivation and zest for life, certainly tangibly beyond the subsequent depression over the situation.

I've literally gone from having the world at my feet a few months back to being turned into a 23 year old impotent, asexual zombie with a numb dick.
I've lost my gf, not started my job as a trainee accountant which was due to start in September and became reclusive, spending most of my days in bed trying to fall a sleep to escape this night mare for a while. I've very seriously considered doing the unthinkable but I have such a caring family that I feel obligated to go on but its so hard. The desire for sex is what powers everything. When that's gone your brain screams, what's the point in anything?! I guess it comes down to the pleasure principle and Freudian theories. I certainly feel like a totally different person without having a libido.

I would rather have lost both legs in the accident than this.

My only option is to get an implant and try to live life to best that's possible with total sexual anhedonia. At least then it would be possible to please a partner but it would be out of duty rather than desire. Although the thought of going through with the procedure is difficult when it will fix the mechanical problem but obviously not the sensation and libido problem but I don't think I have anything to lose at this point.

Apologies for the long post and for the most part ranting.

I guess I'm looking for guidance of some of the guys on here that have suffered sexual dysfunction and how was the change mentally after you got implanted knowing that you could get an erection when needed again.

Also if anybody has suffered from nerve injury which caused lose of sensation and libido how you have learned to live with it?

Cheers

Hi, im also 23 and also have ED. Don´t think how good you were and how bad you are, because there is nothing good at that. Life presents challenges. This is our challenge:ED. There are good solutions such as implants today. I have read people that had impants for lots of year s (30/40) and were still happy, married. And today implants are BY FAR better than before.
ha
If you need the implant, go for it, it will give you what you lost. It will not give you back the sensations in your penis, that is something your body must do by healing. The low libido has nothing to do with your trauma, it´s only a consequence of your depression and inhability to have erections.

I was really depressed. I talked my problem with my family and they fully supported me and told me they will pay the operation if i need it. Now i have a lot of hope and know that soon i will have my sexual function back. There are A LOT of people of our age around with this problem, you are not alone.

We can talk by pm if you want

Hi

I'm also 23 and have severe erectile dysfunction. I can totally relate to your fealings. Prior to ED I was looking forward to live the life, that I had been given. That's how it is to be young and frisky. I also felt I had my whole life in front of me. I had challenges before my ED, but nothing that couldn't be worked with, as I see it now. This is just a heavy stone, that won't move no matter how many people try to do it.

Once you lose your sexuality, like we did, all you ever did seems in vain. I mean, why would we ever do anything, but to look into the same spot at the wall every night dreaming us away from this nightmare. I have nightmares at night. Being a little poetic, I can say that my nightmares at night are a heavenly experience compared to the hours, that I'm awake. We feel so lonely and so left alone with this. We convince ourself, that we are the most poor persons in the whole world. But who can blame us? All we can do, at this point, is to see people around us enjoying their lives and using their sexuality at parties, while we... Well, we drift our ways home to our own beds crying for the loss and envy. You mention you feel like a zombie. I have had the very same thought of my self.

As Neisseria suggests, I think we need to look forward. We need to look at the options we have. That's the best we can do. What happened to us in different ways won't make us the same persons again. We have to admit that. But this isn't our fault. Having a car accident and losing your abilities wasn't your fault. Even though my injuries were self inflicted, I must admit, that I couldn't have done differently. I could have done the very same thing today despite my improved matureness and intelligence. Apperantly what I did, many people are sort of proud of doing enhancing themself (or at least feeling that way). They just are a bit luckier. But it doesn't make the unlucky guys dumb. So we must not blame ourselves.

I have been through all the conservative treatment options. I don't know, what you tried yourself? Did you try the usual pills like Viagra, Cialis and Levitra? You mention that your libido is low. It could be as Neissera suggests, that your inability to get hard lowers your desire for sexual activity. It could also, apart from the obvious trauma you had, be low hormone levels. So I suggest you get a blood workup, if you haven't already.

I was left with no options but the penile implant. I believe making my self able to satisfy a girl in all possible way would easen my mind. I have to believe in this. The fact, that she might not even notice a possible implant. Cool. Another thing pointed out by Dr. Eid, when I spoke to him, is that you can archieve two orgasms during your erections. Could be do this with our congenital tool? No way! Will my satisfaction about the whole act be as high as for a naturally functioning guy? Most likely not.

You ask if someone had a nerve injury. I think I had one. During my injury I lost penile sensation. Touching my penis, felt like touching someone elsese. I was concerned to tears about this. It took almost two years for my penile sensation to return. Every night at eight exact I could feel extreme itching in my penis. It was as if there was a daily healing going on at this exact moment. This was actually quite funny.

I my self was still a virgin as this incident happened, so naturally this is still the case. When I get the implant, I won't know the difference between that and the "real deal". That may or may not be an advantage.

I believe that going through this makes us stronger. The day I get fixed, I can proudly say, that despite of the huge challenge I had, I managed to finish my education. You also finished yours, which is great. Thumbs up! I managed to get drivers license, a car and a good job. All things that for the outside made my life look flawless. Also who can say, they have so much life experience, being so young? You failed yours, but who blames you? I have been on the verge many times. This isn't some simple puzzle. This isn't a dilemma of whether to be dark or blond-haired, like the problems of others seem compared to ours. I may sound like an egoist, but this is how being young and impotent feels. We don't care about anything. We don't care about others problems nor achievements. Someone in my closest family had cancer. Tragically she passed away. I was and am too fixated about my own issues to even give a thought, that it's a tragical thing for her relatives to lose a mum, grandma, wife and whatnot.

Inside my head I have a list of things I want to experience, once I get cured. Sort of like a bucket list. It may sound dumb, but I also write about my feelings at times. I wouldn't say it helps me, but it will give me some memory of this dark place, that I in the future will be able to look at, enjoying how much easier life has become with this cure, whatever it turns out to be.

I have faith, that there is also a life for us out there. There has to be. Karma must not be an illusion. We have many years left in this life. We have to do our best to make them as good as possible. By the way. Minnisota at this site had an implant, when he was 19. I have talked a bit with him about my own concerns. It might be an idea for you too. He has his own YouTube channel. Its name is TheImplantGuy.

If you do get an implant, be sure to choose an experienced surgeon. I can get free healthcare as part of the taxes in our country, but surgeons here don't do many of these implants. Furthermore the risk of complications here are higher. So I would rather pay out of the pocket for a treatment with the best possible succes rate, than to trust a novice and to put things into worse shape, than they are.

If you feel like Skyping or email me, it could be interesting. I haven't really done it much, but would like to talk to somone in the same situation like my self. Good luck everyone!

The depression definitely causes a low libido. I know exactly what your going through. I used the love the way a woman would get excited when she saw my package rock hard. Now since we all have this problem we tend to think to much about it and doubt ourselves and lower our self esteem especially at our age. The first step in healing is psychological , second having someone who understands, third diet no more cheeseburgers all week. The implant provides hope. Meanwhile drink plenty of water.

Tom (and anyone else suffering from ED related to neurological injury or trauma), I admire you for reaching out for help - the simple act of doing this tells me that you will ultimately find the help you need, because you are already being proactive and advocating for yourself. This is what winners do. It's normal to feel depressed, but be tenacious and don't ever give up, there will always be someone willing to reach out.

I don't know where you live, but my advice would be to seek the help of a world class physician who specializes in male sexual health (or some variant thereof). I can recommend 2 here in NYC (where I live), if you can't come here, you can call their offices and ask for referrals to a doctor near you.

John P. Mulhall Md (http://www.mskcc.org/cancer-care/doctor/john-mulhall) is the Director of the Male Sexual and Reproductive Medicine Program at the Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center in NYC. He is one of (if not the) foremost Md's in the U.S. treating male sexual dysfunction.

Darius A. Paduch, MD, PhD (http://www.weillcornell.org/dpaduch/) is a wonderful Dr. who specializes in male sexual medicine at Weill Cornell Medical College in NYC.

I have personally seen Dr. Paduch, and read many research papers and a great book by Dr. Mulhall. They are both at the top of their field, and would most certainly be able to help you. They accept insurance, if you don't have any a social worker can help you get set up.

I wish you the best, things will get better...

Cheers for the replies men. I've gotten over the depression and I'm now starting to rebuild. It pretty much took 9 months to come to terms with the situation. I've got a date for surgery in July so I'm hoping all goes well and I can truly put this behind me when I join the brotherhood.

Thanks again for the words.