A journal of my first 17 days.
Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2017 10:37 pm
I will post more later regarding days later in my recovery, but wanted to share my early days. Further updates will be farther apart, as things are now starting to settle:
Wednesday, January 4th, 2017.)
Everyone on the surgical team has been very professional in the pre-surgery preparation. Prior to surgery, I met the Anesthesia team, the surgical nurse, and of course had final words with Dr. Kramer. I have had a lot of surgeries in my life, and this is the point where I normally lose it and start getting very nervous; this time, nothing at all. Perhaps it was all the research, perhaps it was my good feeling about Dr. Kramer, and perhaps it was something else. For whatever reason, there is nothing at all that is causing me to be nervous.
Everything was explained to me and all of my questions were answered. I clearly remember the anesthesiologist telling me that I would not remember being transferred to the bed or other things in the operating room, even though I would be fully conscious when this was happening. He was right. The next thing I remember was waking up in recovery.
Recovery was uneventful, unlike other recoveries in the past and I had no feeling of pain or discomfort. I think that I remember Dr. Kramer talking to me, but all I remember is that he told me he was also going to tell my wife, because I would not remember…He was right
It seems that my release from the hospital was very quick. I do not remember feeling rushed; it is better to say it was well organized. I had been instructed on how to remove the catheter prior to being given my anesthesia, so this was very clear to me. They wanted me to keep it in overnight so that I would not have any problems voiding during the night.
The only discomfort I felt the first night was from the Jock strap and the catheter; the tip of my penis was sore, and I really wanted this taken out. I did not push it, even though I wanted to, and kept it in overnight as suggested. I also had enough experience with surgeries in the past to realize that my lack of pain was only temporary; I knew this would come the next day when all of the meds had passed from my system.
Thursday, January 5th, 2017.)
I woke up with a very sore throat today, and it is difficult to talk and swallow. I suspect that this is the result of the breathing tube which is used during surgery. Incidentally, this does clear during the course of the day, and by tomorrow morning will be gone.
Today is the day to remove my catheter and take my first quick shower. My wife helped remove the bandages, which primarily involved unwrapping the penis, which had many layers of rolled gauze around it. I was quite surprised at the appearance of my penis and scrotum. I was expecting to look like an eggplant, however there was almost no bruising or swelling at all. There were two small bruises near the tip of the glans where stitching material had been pulled through to locate the cylinders in the glans, but other than that, the only external signs of any trauma was the razer burn from shaving. I was also expecting my scrotum to be the size of a grapefruit, but it was closer to the size of an orange.
My wife is a nurse, and I had her use the syringe to remove the fluid from the bulb which retained the catheter. I could have done this myself, and am not sure why I had her do it, but the staff had been very clear on what to do, so it would not have been an issue.
It is never pleasant to have catheters removed. I did it myself, and did it slowly, but it still never feel s very good. It was a few hours until I felt the need to urinate, and there were no issues at all with getting a flow. I did notice a couple drops of fresh blood, but that did not surprise me. This persists for the next two days, and then stops. I also noticed that after finishing, there were a few drops of urine that remained in the penis that needed to be wiped away over the curse of the next several minutes.
Because the Jock strap that I had worn had become soiled with a little blood, and some fecal material from an internal ileostomy that I have, we decided to purchase a new one. The streets of Baltimore are not friendly to those from out of town, and my wife was not having any luck finding a replacement. I called Dr. Kramer’s office to see if they had any in their office, and was told that it was no longer necessary to wear. What a relief. My wife did pick up some tight fitting underwear to help with support, but honestly with the swelling of the scrotum this just made it hurt more.
Throughout the day, the pain did increase, but not at all to the level I expected, nor was it the quality of pain that I expected. Rather than a sharp pain in the penis, it was more like an intense ache. Don’t let this statement diminish the level of the pain, it was intense. I am simply saying it was an ache rather than sharp, stabbing, or ripping. There was some sharp pain in the scrotum, and at this point I cannot fully identify where it is coming from. It may be stitches, or it may be the pump; it is too soon to tell. It is not possible to know if the pain medication, Oxycodone, is making a difference, as I have not tried going without it. I take it every 4 hours, and the antibiotic every 12 hours.
Getting out of bed is painful for two reasons. First, the position has been unkind to my back, so in addition to the surgical pain, I am also having back pain. The biggest problem with getting out of bed is the fact that my scrotum is lower than my butt when I sit, so it is like I am sitting on my balls when I try to get out of bed. OUCH!!! I will later learn to position myself so that my balls are at the edge of the bed, with my weight on my tail bone. This is a little precarious, and I am afraid of falling, but it takes the pressure off.
I cannot lay on my side, as pulling my legs together puts too much pressure on my scrotum. Even putting a pillow between my legs is not enough to prevent crushing my testicles. It is also awkward to find a good position for my penis. I left surgery with the cylinders about 20% inflated, and it wants to stick straight out. I cannot point it down, and I cannot point it up; either is not comfortable.
Friday, January 6th, 2017.)
There is really no change today. I believe the pain has peaked and will not get worse; on the other hand, it is not getting better. It has however only been 2 days since surgery. Prior to surgery, I had purchased several Gel-Packs, which I have been keeping in the freezer at the hotel. I’m actually using these more frequently than suggested, but don’t see that as a problem. The biggest problem is finding a workable position for the penis so that both it and the scrotum are cooled. It still neither wants to point up or down. Walking from room to room wearing clothes is quite uncomfortable. I would like to figure out how to deflate it fully, but Dr. Kramer wants it partially inflated to prevent scaring from becoming a problem later.
The partial inflation has me wondering about something. Prior to surgery, and based on research, I really wanted to Coloplast Titan. It is supposed to become more rigid, and well, being a typical man, what can I say? I wanted the biggest hardest erection I could get; make me a teenager again. The drawback to the Titan however is that it never gets fully soft. It tends to look like the man is walking around with a partial erection; at least that is what I read. Now one part of me says that is cool; it makes me look more manly, but another part of me says Hell no!!! I want to be able to rest it in a downward position and be comfortable. There is a time for an erection, and there is a time to be comfortable, and this certainly is not comfortable.
I suspect that the lack of comfort is related to the surgery, and not the partial inflation; but, why walk around with a partial erection as long as I can have a good erection when needed. Dr. Kramer did influence my decision on which device to choose; but his suggestion was not based on what was best for him, rather what was best for my situation. He does use both models, as well as others, and although I do not know it to be true, for some reason I think it may be the other brand he uses more. In my case, we were more concerned about infection because of my history of multiple surgeries and infections after those surgeries. The AMS 700 LGX is coated with a pretty good antibiotic and based on his experience, that device would be the best choice for me.
Now it is far too soon to know what my erection will be like after recovery, but I will say that even at the 20% it is currently inflated, it would be possible to have intercourse as it sits right now, even without full inflation. It is not going to happen of course, it hurts too much right now, but it has only been 2 days I will update on this later. In its current state, my penis has a greater girth that it did prior to developing Erectile Dysfunction, although it is shorter. It is too soon to know what to expect at the end. Part of the current girth may be the result of swelling, or it may be what I can expect in the future. The future will tell on this. I have mixed feelings on all of this. Not only has it been almost 3 years for me, but it has been just as long for my wife. Obtaining a larger penis in length and girth may sound great to some, but if it is not enjoyable to my wife, then I am missing the point.
From what I have read, it is not possible to actually gain any length, although with the AMS 700LGX, an increase in Girth is not uncommon. Most implant patients actually lose length, and I have heard that can be as much as 2 inches. I would prefer not to lose any length, but the fact is for almost 3 years, I have had none, as it was completely non-functional. It is hard to imagine going through this procedure just in hopes of better erections, or bigger erections. To me, it was a last resort when everything else failed. Any erection at all will be an improvement. Still, from what I have read, the AMS 700LGX provides excellent satisfaction for both the man and the woman.
For the last two years, I have used a V.E.D., or vacuum erection device to “Stretch” my penis in order to maintain blood flow and size. I did not do this as often as suggested, but did do it fairly often, and found that my penis was able to stretch to approximately its pre-E.D. state while under vacuum. This being the case, there should be no reason not to regain my previous size, as long as the correct size implant is chosen. I did many months of research prior to choosing Dr. Kramer, I expect that his sizing will be perfect for me. Time of course will tell. Many patients do complain of a floppy glans, which is generally caused by choosing an implant which is too short because the surgeon is excessively cautious. Caution has merit; however, it the glans is floppy, intercourse will be difficult or impossible. By touching the glans of my penis, I can tell that Dr. Kramer has placed the cylinders such that they do extend into the glans.
It will not be possible for me to travel back to Baltimore in 6 weeks to learn how to inflate this device, so I sent an email to Dr. Kramer asking if there is any way to see him before I leave. His response was that he would come to my hotel room, which he did do later in the evening. I do not think he could have done a better job of explaining things to me.
Saturday, January 7th, 2017.)
I was hoping for more pain relief today, but it has after all only been 3 days since surgery. The penis is still just as sore with the feeling of aching, and the scrotum still has the sharp pains near the incision site and pain where the pump comes in contact with the scrotum or testicles. On the positive side though, the scrotum does not have the fullness it had yesterday. I cannot quite make out the definition of my testicles or the pump, but it is getting to the point where that might be the case in a day or two. I have also noticed a couple of other issues. It hurts to urinate, and I dribble when finished urinating.
Last night I spent most of the night on the couch, trying to find different positions to alleviate my back pain; it helped. I also chose a position where my legs, and perhaps even a little bit of my pelvis were elevated, hoping this might relieve some of the swelling. I do not know if this helped or not.
Changing how I get out of bed or off the couch has helped. It is very important to have my scrotum off the edge of the bed or couch when I roll off, rather than resting on the cushion. It still hangs lower, and feels like it is being crushed if it is not off of the edge when I sit.
We are leaving in two days to drive back home; 4 hours a day for 2 days. Right now, that sounds very painful. I know that some people fly home on the third day, but do not see how they manage to do this. OUCH!!! Today’s goal is to be a little more active. Rather than lay down all day, we walked downstairs for breakfast. It was not at all comfortable, but I made it and actually felt better for it.
A new pain has developed. This might be a good thing, as it may have been there all the time, but I could not notice because the other pains were so strong. I am feeling an irritation where the left cylinder tip is in the glans. We will see what happens in the next few days.
My wife and I went to dinner tonight, and although somewhat uncomfortable, I was able to achieve a position of relative comfort by sliding my hips forward, and leaning way back in the chair. Within a few minutes, it was comfortable enough to enjoy dinner.
Rating pain is difficult, and no two people will view pain the same way. I’ve had quite a few very major surgeries, and my tolerance is quite high. If I were to rate my worst day since the surgery, and compare that with the worst pain I have ever felt, it would have to be a two, but keep in mind, I have experienced quite a few procedures in my life. What makes this pain different is where in the body it is. For example, Ankle pain may not be significant after surgery, but it is not possible to walk without putting weight on the ankles, and even if weight is kept off, the pressure of the blood in a leg that is hanging down will amplify what would otherwise not be a significant pain. Such is the case with a penile implant, or at least mine. Although the specific pain is not that bad, certain things make it more noticeable and intense. For example, a swollen scrotum is very noticeable when walking, amplifying the incisional pain, and the swollen penis is very noticeable when trying to walk, or keep the penis in a specific position. If I place it in an upward position and start to walk, it may try to slip down, which causes pain. Laying still however with no clothes on, leaves me relatively pain free.
It is getting late, and I am ready to go to bed again. Returning from the bathroom, I can see that the girth of my penis has reduced, and it is becoming more flexible. Apparently much of what I have been feeling with the stiffness was not the inflation, but rather the inflammation. I can also see that the swelling in the scrotum has reduced even further. It is almost possible to see that I have two testicles and a pump in the scrotum, but there is still enough swelling so that I would not be able to tell which is which at this point. Honestly, I am not curious enough to start squeezing around to find out. When the time is right, I will know.
Obviously it is far too soon to know how this surgery will ultimately affect my length or girth. Prior to my E.D. I was about 1/16” less than 7” from Pubic Bone to the tip of my penis at my current weight. Tonight, in my relatively flaccid state, I am sitting with 5 inches. It is quite obvious though that my penis is flaccid and has plenty of available stretch. I honestly expect that I will have no loss, and although I have read that this surgery will not increase length, I have a hard time believing that my length will not increase somewhat beyond my original length, primarily because I did use the Vacuum device quite often over the last 2 years to make sure that the blood flow would be there and that I could get the maximum stretch possible. I will update this post in a few months with an update on this, as I believe it will be something that will build over time until it reaches its maximum potential.
Sunday, January 8th, 2017.)
The swelling has obviously reduced now, and my penis has a more natural look. It had appeared somewhat lumpy at first, now it is smooth. It is still somewhat erect, and I cannot tell if this is inflammation, or the fact that Dr. Kramer is leaving it partially inflated during recovery. My scrotum is also starting to look more natural, although it is not possible yet to distinguish the pump from the testes. My scrotum is also drying out, almost like chapped lips. This is not a problem yet, but it does concern me just a little bit. It also looks as though my penis and scrotum are getting somewhat darker. To say they are turning purple would be an exaggeration, but they are getting darker. There are a lot of changes going on though, so right now, nothing surprises me. I do miss taking baths, as normally I bathe twice per day. I have always enjoyed soaking, as it relieves back pain and other issues that I experience. Yesterday I mentioned that it hurts to urinate. I am no longer sure that is true. The pain is a pressure, or back to that intense ached. Although it is most noticeable when urinating, it should also be pointed out that moments before I urinate, I am getting up from a laying position. As it turns out, it is not urinating that is causing the pain; rather it is standing, or sitting up that is causing it, following hours of laying still.
Sitting for breakfast was much more painful than sitting to eat was yesterday. I don’t really understand why that was. My wife and I also went for a drive to a store we wanted to visit, and that also caused a lot of discomfort, not only sitting in the car, but also walking through the store. When we finally got back to the hotel, I could not get my clothes off fast enough and get on an ice gel pack.
After spending the last 5 hours laying down, all pain is under control. Tomorrow we must drive for four hours, so I am crossing my fingers for a major reduction in the remaining swelling and discomfort.
It is odd, but right now, it seems as though my pain has not gotten any better since the day following surgery. What can I say…It hurts!!! But that is wrong, and not true at all. It may seem that way, but when I look back, I could not cross my legs at all because of the pain, could not lay on my side, and could not position my penis up or down because of the pain. I can do those things now, so even though it does not feel better, it really is.
Monday, January 9th, 2017.)
I felt fantastic waking up this morning; almost no pain at all. At last that is what I thought until I stood for about 30 seconds trying to pee, now it feels like it is going to explode. Certainly not looking forward to riding in a car for over 4 hours!!!
As it turns out, the ride home was every bit as bad as I had anticipated. OUCH!!! There was no comfortable way to sit, and we could not keep the Gel packs cold enough. I was hoping that after getting to the hotel room at our half way point, everything would settle down, but this pain stayed with me the rest of the evening until I fell asleep before bed time.
Tuesday, January 10th, 2017.)
Somehow I feel that things got really good last night while I slept I do have some significant pain while standing to urinate, but the duration is much shorter, and the recovery is shorter. We will see what happens during the remaining 4 hour drive home.
Well, we made it, and it was not horrible, at least not compared to yesterday. Sure, I am walking a little rough, but most of the pain has subsided. It has gotten my attention a few times, but quickly gone away after laying down.
I wrote to Dr. Kramer to ask about taking a shower, and later taking a bath. He told me to go ahead and do that now if I wanted. Wow, I am scared, and excited at the same time. He also answered by question about my dribble after urinating. As it turns out, the urethra is usually kind of kinked when the penis is shriveled up. Since it is partially inflated, the urethra is straight, and not trapping the remaining drops. He tells me this is normal, will get better with time, and I should try milking it out when I am finished peeing. Maybe later, but for now, I have no intention of milking this thing.
Oh God, the bath, the wonderful, sent from heaven bath. I was scared to lower myself into the water, wondering how much it would sting, but it did not. Not only that, but the instant my scrotum hit the water, the pain in the scrotum went away; it was like everything relaxed. I stayed in the tub for about a half hour, dried off, applied the antibiotic ointment, and am ready to relax for the night. I am thinking that tomorrow is going to be a very good day.
Wednesday, January 11th, 2017.)
This morning, I had a lot of pain, but also realized that I slept through and missed 2 doses of pain meds, and had never skipped a dose before. A great deal of the pain I am feeling right now seems to be the stitches poking into the skin, both externally and internally. I did have trouble with stitches in an abdominal surgery back in 2015, and am hoping this will not be a repeat. I think if they dissolve the way they are supposed to, that my pain will be under control very soon.
Friday, January 13th, 2017.)
It has been a couple of more days, and the pain is still fairly intense; primarily from the incision and the stitches. The aching in the penis is mostly gone, but I am getting poked there from the stitches, so I am going to have my wife pull out the ones that are causing the most grief. She does, and that helps. The swelling in the scrotum has reduced quite a bit, and it is easier to roll on my side in bed, and can now sleep on my side, as long as I use a pillow so my legs do not squeeze my scrotum. I have also learned how to get out of bed in one motion in a way that does not crush those precious parts.
Peeing is still causing a problem with dribble, but I find if I stretch the penis out just a little bit, with a pull on each side of the glans, more drops will drop out. Still though, some does end up on my underwear, which I hope will resolve itself.
The partial inflation of the cylinders is causing a little bit of discomfort with the swollen scrotum, but Dr. Kramer says I can try to deflate them anytime between now and next Friday. I started to try, but chickened out. Everything is so tender.
Saturday, January 14th, 2017.)
If I were to stand in front of a mirror, everything would look normal, and no one could tell anything. Still a bit swollen in the scrotum, but other than that, and the manscaping done in the surgical suite, everything looks normal. The pump actually hangs lower than the testes, and somehow, it still looks like just two testes in my scrotum. The pump is lower, but also tends to gravitate to the right side, so it sits lower than that teste and looks like it is the right teste. Very normal looking. Sitting in the tub is a different story; it looks like three distinct testes. The pump is in the middle, and is lower than the testes. The warm water helps to relax the scrotum so it is not tight, and I believe this would be a good time to try to release pressure in the cylinders.
Wrong move!!! It hurts like hell!!! I think I am accurately able to distinguish the pump and its components; however there is still too much discomfort in the area, and the release valve button is directly in line with the sutures; something has to change, but right now, the pain is so bad from trying to squeeze, that I must get out of the tub. I will have my wife pull out a couple of more stitches in the morning, and then try again on Monday.
Sunday, January 15th, 2017.)
Out with more stitches, and hopefully this will help. By the way, my wife knows what she is doing, since she is a nurse, and she also has a good suture removal kit. The scissors are very sharp, but they also have a special curve in the cutting blades to hook the stitch prior to cutting; this is essential, due not attempt this with regular scissors. Even though she knows what she is doing, it still hurts; what can I say, this is a very delicate area, and the stitches are tight. There is not a lot of room to get scissors under the stitches. The reason I am having her pull these out is that they are really poking into everything, and it is just too much for me. Also, the manufacturer of the stitch material, says it can be three to four weeks before they dissolve, but many find it to be far longer. I cannot go like this for 4 or 6 weeks. After the stitches have been removed, everything feels much better. I am going to wait until tomorrow to try again to deflate.
Monday, January 16th, 2017.)
Well I tried again today to deflate; oh my God that hurts. I squeezed with everything I had, but nothing. I even tried a second time, and nothing. Being right behind the incision does not help. I can manipulate it to the side a bit, but it is still too much.
I wrote to Dr. Kramer, and he told me to hold off three days or so, or even up to a week to allow the scrotum to heal. He doesn’t need to tell me twice!!!
Tonight, I go to work for the first time after surgery. This will be tough for a few reasons. First, I still have swelling and it is hard to sit, and second, I work 3rd shift, but have gotten adjusted to daytime hours. I did not get much sleep today, so tonight will be tough.
Tuesday, January 17th, 2017.)
My first night back to work was far tougher than I was afraid it would be. I had been cutting back on my pain pills, and did not bring my last one with me. I also did not bring my antibiotic ointment, which may have given some relief. I do so much walking at work, and also so much sitting, that it seems my poor little fellas were not going to get a break. If I was not chafing, I was crushing. Halfway through the shift, I am in tears; well not literally, but I feel like it. I want to go home, but know I have to go through this.
I did not stop to do anything when I got home, no breakfast or anything, just a warm bath. It helps, but still, it really hurts down there. Went to bed, and woke up 7 hours later, still in pain. Last night seemed like it was too much, too soon. Out with the cold gel pack for about a half hour, and the pain is gone. Will it last?
Wednesday, January 18th, 2017.)
Work went well tonight. Very little pain. Perhaps I really just needed to get out and do some moving around. I did bring plenty of Tylenol with me, but do not seem to need it. I’m not going to push the deflating thing. I will try again on Monday, which will give me several more days of healing. I will try partially inflating on either Tuesday or Thursday. Dr. Kramer said to just try giving it 5 pumps at my third week. I don’t want to do it on Wednesday, because he will be in surgery all day. If I have a problem, I want to be able to call him. It is nice to know that he will respond if I call.
Sleeping was just a little rough. I should clarify, I usually wake up a few times during the day, and today when I did, it was uncomfortable. I will not use the word pain anymore, but rather discomfort. The problem I am having is what to wear to bed. If I wear nothing, it seems that the extra weight in the scrotum causes me to flop over and that can be uncomfortable, but when I wear tight underwear, it pinches. I have not yet found a good medium. Yesterday I started with underwear, and took it off halfway through my sleep because it was hurting; everything got better. Today, the opposite; I started without the underwear, and decided to put it on when I woke up.
The swelling is way down in the scrotum. If I am soaking in the tub, it is quite loose and floats freely in the water; at other times, when walking around, it is quite tight on the boys, and a little uncomfortable. Before the surgery, it would be tight if cold, or just because it wanted to be, but now, there is this pump in there. It feels as though my scrotum is not quite big enough at times. So the question is, will it get looser, will I get used to it, or is there still swelling which is less obvious, but still there.
Thursday, January 18th, 2017.)
What a great day. Aside from an occasional bit of discomfort, I would not even know that anything had been done down there. A little incisional pain, but that was it. Work went great with no problems at all.
Sleeping today went well also. I tried something, and it really helped. I slept without any underwear, but I also used some baby powder all over the boys, and it was quite comfortable sleeping. I did not wake up with any sweat in the area at all.
Friday, January 20th, 2017.)
I’m not sure what happened today, but the boys were not happy at all with their new roommate. There is a major fight going on between the three of them. I cannot wait to get home and take a hot bath, followed by some cold gel packs!!! I am taking Tylenol because the pain is so bad; hopefully that will kick in soon.
The bath did not help a whole lot, but the gel packs helped a little. Let's see what a little sleep will do.
Saturday, January 21st, 2017.)
Work last night was much better. The boys and their new roommate got along pretty well until about 5:00 in the morning, which is 6 hours into shift. They were a little irritated with each other for the rest of the shift, but nothing that required any pain relievers.
A warm bath when I got home helped, and several hours of rest made a big difference. I am not working tonight, so things should really improve over the next day or so. I am going to try to inflate on Tuesday, to make sure things are working, and then try to increase one pump per day. I may send a note to Dr. Kramer first, to see if he knows of anyone in the Charlotte area who I could call if I have a problem.
I think the daily updates can be reduced now, since I am feeling so much better. I will post after my next major event.
Gary
Wednesday, January 4th, 2017.)
Everyone on the surgical team has been very professional in the pre-surgery preparation. Prior to surgery, I met the Anesthesia team, the surgical nurse, and of course had final words with Dr. Kramer. I have had a lot of surgeries in my life, and this is the point where I normally lose it and start getting very nervous; this time, nothing at all. Perhaps it was all the research, perhaps it was my good feeling about Dr. Kramer, and perhaps it was something else. For whatever reason, there is nothing at all that is causing me to be nervous.
Everything was explained to me and all of my questions were answered. I clearly remember the anesthesiologist telling me that I would not remember being transferred to the bed or other things in the operating room, even though I would be fully conscious when this was happening. He was right. The next thing I remember was waking up in recovery.
Recovery was uneventful, unlike other recoveries in the past and I had no feeling of pain or discomfort. I think that I remember Dr. Kramer talking to me, but all I remember is that he told me he was also going to tell my wife, because I would not remember…He was right
It seems that my release from the hospital was very quick. I do not remember feeling rushed; it is better to say it was well organized. I had been instructed on how to remove the catheter prior to being given my anesthesia, so this was very clear to me. They wanted me to keep it in overnight so that I would not have any problems voiding during the night.
The only discomfort I felt the first night was from the Jock strap and the catheter; the tip of my penis was sore, and I really wanted this taken out. I did not push it, even though I wanted to, and kept it in overnight as suggested. I also had enough experience with surgeries in the past to realize that my lack of pain was only temporary; I knew this would come the next day when all of the meds had passed from my system.
Thursday, January 5th, 2017.)
I woke up with a very sore throat today, and it is difficult to talk and swallow. I suspect that this is the result of the breathing tube which is used during surgery. Incidentally, this does clear during the course of the day, and by tomorrow morning will be gone.
Today is the day to remove my catheter and take my first quick shower. My wife helped remove the bandages, which primarily involved unwrapping the penis, which had many layers of rolled gauze around it. I was quite surprised at the appearance of my penis and scrotum. I was expecting to look like an eggplant, however there was almost no bruising or swelling at all. There were two small bruises near the tip of the glans where stitching material had been pulled through to locate the cylinders in the glans, but other than that, the only external signs of any trauma was the razer burn from shaving. I was also expecting my scrotum to be the size of a grapefruit, but it was closer to the size of an orange.
My wife is a nurse, and I had her use the syringe to remove the fluid from the bulb which retained the catheter. I could have done this myself, and am not sure why I had her do it, but the staff had been very clear on what to do, so it would not have been an issue.
It is never pleasant to have catheters removed. I did it myself, and did it slowly, but it still never feel s very good. It was a few hours until I felt the need to urinate, and there were no issues at all with getting a flow. I did notice a couple drops of fresh blood, but that did not surprise me. This persists for the next two days, and then stops. I also noticed that after finishing, there were a few drops of urine that remained in the penis that needed to be wiped away over the curse of the next several minutes.
Because the Jock strap that I had worn had become soiled with a little blood, and some fecal material from an internal ileostomy that I have, we decided to purchase a new one. The streets of Baltimore are not friendly to those from out of town, and my wife was not having any luck finding a replacement. I called Dr. Kramer’s office to see if they had any in their office, and was told that it was no longer necessary to wear. What a relief. My wife did pick up some tight fitting underwear to help with support, but honestly with the swelling of the scrotum this just made it hurt more.
Throughout the day, the pain did increase, but not at all to the level I expected, nor was it the quality of pain that I expected. Rather than a sharp pain in the penis, it was more like an intense ache. Don’t let this statement diminish the level of the pain, it was intense. I am simply saying it was an ache rather than sharp, stabbing, or ripping. There was some sharp pain in the scrotum, and at this point I cannot fully identify where it is coming from. It may be stitches, or it may be the pump; it is too soon to tell. It is not possible to know if the pain medication, Oxycodone, is making a difference, as I have not tried going without it. I take it every 4 hours, and the antibiotic every 12 hours.
Getting out of bed is painful for two reasons. First, the position has been unkind to my back, so in addition to the surgical pain, I am also having back pain. The biggest problem with getting out of bed is the fact that my scrotum is lower than my butt when I sit, so it is like I am sitting on my balls when I try to get out of bed. OUCH!!! I will later learn to position myself so that my balls are at the edge of the bed, with my weight on my tail bone. This is a little precarious, and I am afraid of falling, but it takes the pressure off.
I cannot lay on my side, as pulling my legs together puts too much pressure on my scrotum. Even putting a pillow between my legs is not enough to prevent crushing my testicles. It is also awkward to find a good position for my penis. I left surgery with the cylinders about 20% inflated, and it wants to stick straight out. I cannot point it down, and I cannot point it up; either is not comfortable.
Friday, January 6th, 2017.)
There is really no change today. I believe the pain has peaked and will not get worse; on the other hand, it is not getting better. It has however only been 2 days since surgery. Prior to surgery, I had purchased several Gel-Packs, which I have been keeping in the freezer at the hotel. I’m actually using these more frequently than suggested, but don’t see that as a problem. The biggest problem is finding a workable position for the penis so that both it and the scrotum are cooled. It still neither wants to point up or down. Walking from room to room wearing clothes is quite uncomfortable. I would like to figure out how to deflate it fully, but Dr. Kramer wants it partially inflated to prevent scaring from becoming a problem later.
The partial inflation has me wondering about something. Prior to surgery, and based on research, I really wanted to Coloplast Titan. It is supposed to become more rigid, and well, being a typical man, what can I say? I wanted the biggest hardest erection I could get; make me a teenager again. The drawback to the Titan however is that it never gets fully soft. It tends to look like the man is walking around with a partial erection; at least that is what I read. Now one part of me says that is cool; it makes me look more manly, but another part of me says Hell no!!! I want to be able to rest it in a downward position and be comfortable. There is a time for an erection, and there is a time to be comfortable, and this certainly is not comfortable.
I suspect that the lack of comfort is related to the surgery, and not the partial inflation; but, why walk around with a partial erection as long as I can have a good erection when needed. Dr. Kramer did influence my decision on which device to choose; but his suggestion was not based on what was best for him, rather what was best for my situation. He does use both models, as well as others, and although I do not know it to be true, for some reason I think it may be the other brand he uses more. In my case, we were more concerned about infection because of my history of multiple surgeries and infections after those surgeries. The AMS 700 LGX is coated with a pretty good antibiotic and based on his experience, that device would be the best choice for me.
Now it is far too soon to know what my erection will be like after recovery, but I will say that even at the 20% it is currently inflated, it would be possible to have intercourse as it sits right now, even without full inflation. It is not going to happen of course, it hurts too much right now, but it has only been 2 days I will update on this later. In its current state, my penis has a greater girth that it did prior to developing Erectile Dysfunction, although it is shorter. It is too soon to know what to expect at the end. Part of the current girth may be the result of swelling, or it may be what I can expect in the future. The future will tell on this. I have mixed feelings on all of this. Not only has it been almost 3 years for me, but it has been just as long for my wife. Obtaining a larger penis in length and girth may sound great to some, but if it is not enjoyable to my wife, then I am missing the point.
From what I have read, it is not possible to actually gain any length, although with the AMS 700LGX, an increase in Girth is not uncommon. Most implant patients actually lose length, and I have heard that can be as much as 2 inches. I would prefer not to lose any length, but the fact is for almost 3 years, I have had none, as it was completely non-functional. It is hard to imagine going through this procedure just in hopes of better erections, or bigger erections. To me, it was a last resort when everything else failed. Any erection at all will be an improvement. Still, from what I have read, the AMS 700LGX provides excellent satisfaction for both the man and the woman.
For the last two years, I have used a V.E.D., or vacuum erection device to “Stretch” my penis in order to maintain blood flow and size. I did not do this as often as suggested, but did do it fairly often, and found that my penis was able to stretch to approximately its pre-E.D. state while under vacuum. This being the case, there should be no reason not to regain my previous size, as long as the correct size implant is chosen. I did many months of research prior to choosing Dr. Kramer, I expect that his sizing will be perfect for me. Time of course will tell. Many patients do complain of a floppy glans, which is generally caused by choosing an implant which is too short because the surgeon is excessively cautious. Caution has merit; however, it the glans is floppy, intercourse will be difficult or impossible. By touching the glans of my penis, I can tell that Dr. Kramer has placed the cylinders such that they do extend into the glans.
It will not be possible for me to travel back to Baltimore in 6 weeks to learn how to inflate this device, so I sent an email to Dr. Kramer asking if there is any way to see him before I leave. His response was that he would come to my hotel room, which he did do later in the evening. I do not think he could have done a better job of explaining things to me.
Saturday, January 7th, 2017.)
I was hoping for more pain relief today, but it has after all only been 3 days since surgery. The penis is still just as sore with the feeling of aching, and the scrotum still has the sharp pains near the incision site and pain where the pump comes in contact with the scrotum or testicles. On the positive side though, the scrotum does not have the fullness it had yesterday. I cannot quite make out the definition of my testicles or the pump, but it is getting to the point where that might be the case in a day or two. I have also noticed a couple of other issues. It hurts to urinate, and I dribble when finished urinating.
Last night I spent most of the night on the couch, trying to find different positions to alleviate my back pain; it helped. I also chose a position where my legs, and perhaps even a little bit of my pelvis were elevated, hoping this might relieve some of the swelling. I do not know if this helped or not.
Changing how I get out of bed or off the couch has helped. It is very important to have my scrotum off the edge of the bed or couch when I roll off, rather than resting on the cushion. It still hangs lower, and feels like it is being crushed if it is not off of the edge when I sit.
We are leaving in two days to drive back home; 4 hours a day for 2 days. Right now, that sounds very painful. I know that some people fly home on the third day, but do not see how they manage to do this. OUCH!!! Today’s goal is to be a little more active. Rather than lay down all day, we walked downstairs for breakfast. It was not at all comfortable, but I made it and actually felt better for it.
A new pain has developed. This might be a good thing, as it may have been there all the time, but I could not notice because the other pains were so strong. I am feeling an irritation where the left cylinder tip is in the glans. We will see what happens in the next few days.
My wife and I went to dinner tonight, and although somewhat uncomfortable, I was able to achieve a position of relative comfort by sliding my hips forward, and leaning way back in the chair. Within a few minutes, it was comfortable enough to enjoy dinner.
Rating pain is difficult, and no two people will view pain the same way. I’ve had quite a few very major surgeries, and my tolerance is quite high. If I were to rate my worst day since the surgery, and compare that with the worst pain I have ever felt, it would have to be a two, but keep in mind, I have experienced quite a few procedures in my life. What makes this pain different is where in the body it is. For example, Ankle pain may not be significant after surgery, but it is not possible to walk without putting weight on the ankles, and even if weight is kept off, the pressure of the blood in a leg that is hanging down will amplify what would otherwise not be a significant pain. Such is the case with a penile implant, or at least mine. Although the specific pain is not that bad, certain things make it more noticeable and intense. For example, a swollen scrotum is very noticeable when walking, amplifying the incisional pain, and the swollen penis is very noticeable when trying to walk, or keep the penis in a specific position. If I place it in an upward position and start to walk, it may try to slip down, which causes pain. Laying still however with no clothes on, leaves me relatively pain free.
It is getting late, and I am ready to go to bed again. Returning from the bathroom, I can see that the girth of my penis has reduced, and it is becoming more flexible. Apparently much of what I have been feeling with the stiffness was not the inflation, but rather the inflammation. I can also see that the swelling in the scrotum has reduced even further. It is almost possible to see that I have two testicles and a pump in the scrotum, but there is still enough swelling so that I would not be able to tell which is which at this point. Honestly, I am not curious enough to start squeezing around to find out. When the time is right, I will know.
Obviously it is far too soon to know how this surgery will ultimately affect my length or girth. Prior to my E.D. I was about 1/16” less than 7” from Pubic Bone to the tip of my penis at my current weight. Tonight, in my relatively flaccid state, I am sitting with 5 inches. It is quite obvious though that my penis is flaccid and has plenty of available stretch. I honestly expect that I will have no loss, and although I have read that this surgery will not increase length, I have a hard time believing that my length will not increase somewhat beyond my original length, primarily because I did use the Vacuum device quite often over the last 2 years to make sure that the blood flow would be there and that I could get the maximum stretch possible. I will update this post in a few months with an update on this, as I believe it will be something that will build over time until it reaches its maximum potential.
Sunday, January 8th, 2017.)
The swelling has obviously reduced now, and my penis has a more natural look. It had appeared somewhat lumpy at first, now it is smooth. It is still somewhat erect, and I cannot tell if this is inflammation, or the fact that Dr. Kramer is leaving it partially inflated during recovery. My scrotum is also starting to look more natural, although it is not possible yet to distinguish the pump from the testes. My scrotum is also drying out, almost like chapped lips. This is not a problem yet, but it does concern me just a little bit. It also looks as though my penis and scrotum are getting somewhat darker. To say they are turning purple would be an exaggeration, but they are getting darker. There are a lot of changes going on though, so right now, nothing surprises me. I do miss taking baths, as normally I bathe twice per day. I have always enjoyed soaking, as it relieves back pain and other issues that I experience. Yesterday I mentioned that it hurts to urinate. I am no longer sure that is true. The pain is a pressure, or back to that intense ached. Although it is most noticeable when urinating, it should also be pointed out that moments before I urinate, I am getting up from a laying position. As it turns out, it is not urinating that is causing the pain; rather it is standing, or sitting up that is causing it, following hours of laying still.
Sitting for breakfast was much more painful than sitting to eat was yesterday. I don’t really understand why that was. My wife and I also went for a drive to a store we wanted to visit, and that also caused a lot of discomfort, not only sitting in the car, but also walking through the store. When we finally got back to the hotel, I could not get my clothes off fast enough and get on an ice gel pack.
After spending the last 5 hours laying down, all pain is under control. Tomorrow we must drive for four hours, so I am crossing my fingers for a major reduction in the remaining swelling and discomfort.
It is odd, but right now, it seems as though my pain has not gotten any better since the day following surgery. What can I say…It hurts!!! But that is wrong, and not true at all. It may seem that way, but when I look back, I could not cross my legs at all because of the pain, could not lay on my side, and could not position my penis up or down because of the pain. I can do those things now, so even though it does not feel better, it really is.
Monday, January 9th, 2017.)
I felt fantastic waking up this morning; almost no pain at all. At last that is what I thought until I stood for about 30 seconds trying to pee, now it feels like it is going to explode. Certainly not looking forward to riding in a car for over 4 hours!!!
As it turns out, the ride home was every bit as bad as I had anticipated. OUCH!!! There was no comfortable way to sit, and we could not keep the Gel packs cold enough. I was hoping that after getting to the hotel room at our half way point, everything would settle down, but this pain stayed with me the rest of the evening until I fell asleep before bed time.
Tuesday, January 10th, 2017.)
Somehow I feel that things got really good last night while I slept I do have some significant pain while standing to urinate, but the duration is much shorter, and the recovery is shorter. We will see what happens during the remaining 4 hour drive home.
Well, we made it, and it was not horrible, at least not compared to yesterday. Sure, I am walking a little rough, but most of the pain has subsided. It has gotten my attention a few times, but quickly gone away after laying down.
I wrote to Dr. Kramer to ask about taking a shower, and later taking a bath. He told me to go ahead and do that now if I wanted. Wow, I am scared, and excited at the same time. He also answered by question about my dribble after urinating. As it turns out, the urethra is usually kind of kinked when the penis is shriveled up. Since it is partially inflated, the urethra is straight, and not trapping the remaining drops. He tells me this is normal, will get better with time, and I should try milking it out when I am finished peeing. Maybe later, but for now, I have no intention of milking this thing.
Oh God, the bath, the wonderful, sent from heaven bath. I was scared to lower myself into the water, wondering how much it would sting, but it did not. Not only that, but the instant my scrotum hit the water, the pain in the scrotum went away; it was like everything relaxed. I stayed in the tub for about a half hour, dried off, applied the antibiotic ointment, and am ready to relax for the night. I am thinking that tomorrow is going to be a very good day.
Wednesday, January 11th, 2017.)
This morning, I had a lot of pain, but also realized that I slept through and missed 2 doses of pain meds, and had never skipped a dose before. A great deal of the pain I am feeling right now seems to be the stitches poking into the skin, both externally and internally. I did have trouble with stitches in an abdominal surgery back in 2015, and am hoping this will not be a repeat. I think if they dissolve the way they are supposed to, that my pain will be under control very soon.
Friday, January 13th, 2017.)
It has been a couple of more days, and the pain is still fairly intense; primarily from the incision and the stitches. The aching in the penis is mostly gone, but I am getting poked there from the stitches, so I am going to have my wife pull out the ones that are causing the most grief. She does, and that helps. The swelling in the scrotum has reduced quite a bit, and it is easier to roll on my side in bed, and can now sleep on my side, as long as I use a pillow so my legs do not squeeze my scrotum. I have also learned how to get out of bed in one motion in a way that does not crush those precious parts.
Peeing is still causing a problem with dribble, but I find if I stretch the penis out just a little bit, with a pull on each side of the glans, more drops will drop out. Still though, some does end up on my underwear, which I hope will resolve itself.
The partial inflation of the cylinders is causing a little bit of discomfort with the swollen scrotum, but Dr. Kramer says I can try to deflate them anytime between now and next Friday. I started to try, but chickened out. Everything is so tender.
Saturday, January 14th, 2017.)
If I were to stand in front of a mirror, everything would look normal, and no one could tell anything. Still a bit swollen in the scrotum, but other than that, and the manscaping done in the surgical suite, everything looks normal. The pump actually hangs lower than the testes, and somehow, it still looks like just two testes in my scrotum. The pump is lower, but also tends to gravitate to the right side, so it sits lower than that teste and looks like it is the right teste. Very normal looking. Sitting in the tub is a different story; it looks like three distinct testes. The pump is in the middle, and is lower than the testes. The warm water helps to relax the scrotum so it is not tight, and I believe this would be a good time to try to release pressure in the cylinders.
Wrong move!!! It hurts like hell!!! I think I am accurately able to distinguish the pump and its components; however there is still too much discomfort in the area, and the release valve button is directly in line with the sutures; something has to change, but right now, the pain is so bad from trying to squeeze, that I must get out of the tub. I will have my wife pull out a couple of more stitches in the morning, and then try again on Monday.
Sunday, January 15th, 2017.)
Out with more stitches, and hopefully this will help. By the way, my wife knows what she is doing, since she is a nurse, and she also has a good suture removal kit. The scissors are very sharp, but they also have a special curve in the cutting blades to hook the stitch prior to cutting; this is essential, due not attempt this with regular scissors. Even though she knows what she is doing, it still hurts; what can I say, this is a very delicate area, and the stitches are tight. There is not a lot of room to get scissors under the stitches. The reason I am having her pull these out is that they are really poking into everything, and it is just too much for me. Also, the manufacturer of the stitch material, says it can be three to four weeks before they dissolve, but many find it to be far longer. I cannot go like this for 4 or 6 weeks. After the stitches have been removed, everything feels much better. I am going to wait until tomorrow to try again to deflate.
Monday, January 16th, 2017.)
Well I tried again today to deflate; oh my God that hurts. I squeezed with everything I had, but nothing. I even tried a second time, and nothing. Being right behind the incision does not help. I can manipulate it to the side a bit, but it is still too much.
I wrote to Dr. Kramer, and he told me to hold off three days or so, or even up to a week to allow the scrotum to heal. He doesn’t need to tell me twice!!!
Tonight, I go to work for the first time after surgery. This will be tough for a few reasons. First, I still have swelling and it is hard to sit, and second, I work 3rd shift, but have gotten adjusted to daytime hours. I did not get much sleep today, so tonight will be tough.
Tuesday, January 17th, 2017.)
My first night back to work was far tougher than I was afraid it would be. I had been cutting back on my pain pills, and did not bring my last one with me. I also did not bring my antibiotic ointment, which may have given some relief. I do so much walking at work, and also so much sitting, that it seems my poor little fellas were not going to get a break. If I was not chafing, I was crushing. Halfway through the shift, I am in tears; well not literally, but I feel like it. I want to go home, but know I have to go through this.
I did not stop to do anything when I got home, no breakfast or anything, just a warm bath. It helps, but still, it really hurts down there. Went to bed, and woke up 7 hours later, still in pain. Last night seemed like it was too much, too soon. Out with the cold gel pack for about a half hour, and the pain is gone. Will it last?
Wednesday, January 18th, 2017.)
Work went well tonight. Very little pain. Perhaps I really just needed to get out and do some moving around. I did bring plenty of Tylenol with me, but do not seem to need it. I’m not going to push the deflating thing. I will try again on Monday, which will give me several more days of healing. I will try partially inflating on either Tuesday or Thursday. Dr. Kramer said to just try giving it 5 pumps at my third week. I don’t want to do it on Wednesday, because he will be in surgery all day. If I have a problem, I want to be able to call him. It is nice to know that he will respond if I call.
Sleeping was just a little rough. I should clarify, I usually wake up a few times during the day, and today when I did, it was uncomfortable. I will not use the word pain anymore, but rather discomfort. The problem I am having is what to wear to bed. If I wear nothing, it seems that the extra weight in the scrotum causes me to flop over and that can be uncomfortable, but when I wear tight underwear, it pinches. I have not yet found a good medium. Yesterday I started with underwear, and took it off halfway through my sleep because it was hurting; everything got better. Today, the opposite; I started without the underwear, and decided to put it on when I woke up.
The swelling is way down in the scrotum. If I am soaking in the tub, it is quite loose and floats freely in the water; at other times, when walking around, it is quite tight on the boys, and a little uncomfortable. Before the surgery, it would be tight if cold, or just because it wanted to be, but now, there is this pump in there. It feels as though my scrotum is not quite big enough at times. So the question is, will it get looser, will I get used to it, or is there still swelling which is less obvious, but still there.
Thursday, January 18th, 2017.)
What a great day. Aside from an occasional bit of discomfort, I would not even know that anything had been done down there. A little incisional pain, but that was it. Work went great with no problems at all.
Sleeping today went well also. I tried something, and it really helped. I slept without any underwear, but I also used some baby powder all over the boys, and it was quite comfortable sleeping. I did not wake up with any sweat in the area at all.
Friday, January 20th, 2017.)
I’m not sure what happened today, but the boys were not happy at all with their new roommate. There is a major fight going on between the three of them. I cannot wait to get home and take a hot bath, followed by some cold gel packs!!! I am taking Tylenol because the pain is so bad; hopefully that will kick in soon.
The bath did not help a whole lot, but the gel packs helped a little. Let's see what a little sleep will do.
Saturday, January 21st, 2017.)
Work last night was much better. The boys and their new roommate got along pretty well until about 5:00 in the morning, which is 6 hours into shift. They were a little irritated with each other for the rest of the shift, but nothing that required any pain relievers.
A warm bath when I got home helped, and several hours of rest made a big difference. I am not working tonight, so things should really improve over the next day or so. I am going to try to inflate on Tuesday, to make sure things are working, and then try to increase one pump per day. I may send a note to Dr. Kramer first, to see if he knows of anyone in the Charlotte area who I could call if I have a problem.
I think the daily updates can be reduced now, since I am feeling so much better. I will post after my next major event.
Gary
How do you like your new larger dick? When you pump it full, you'll be impresssed and so will she! 