huge Setback...

[liber.tine]

So its really hard to talk about this right now cause its all so fresh but i cancelled my surgery which would have been today...The last weeks were really hard for me cause all of a sudden there were so many concerns and fears that came up, which made my head go crazy. My mind was set on the implant since a couple of years, but i found the right surgeon not until this year in may. Iam 28 having venous leak since my birth, and just been in one relationship in which the ED was not a problem for the girl. Pills and injections dont work but i can penetrate when i use my hands to the penis to reduce blood flow. The sex is really rushed and some positions, for example on the back are connected with lots of circumstances. The penis has to be pentrated all the time and i need to push my finger on the dorsal vein to keep the penis up. All of this isnt really helping to have enjoyable sex but i always enjoyed the feeling when the penis fills with blood and the tingle in the perineum. It is that typical feeling when you know, now iam horny and aroused. Although i struggle with sex due ed, i enjoy masturbation.

Although i have troubles to maintain an erection, my biggest fears some weeks before the implant was, that i may lose sensibility and most of the feelings that happen when being horny and when the perineum becomes more sensetive and starts to tingle. I thought i may lose the interest in touching my penis or let anyone else, cause it will not be as exciting as being "natural". You know, i am unsatisfied with my sexual performance and i wanna do sth about my ED but i constantly have the feeling that when i do the surgery i might destroy sth that at least works limited and with a lot of struggle. Of course the whole topic leads into isolation and depression, but in the past weeks i developed a bad conscience, that it might be too early? I would do the surgery right away if my penis wouldnt move at all, even with support by hand or ring. But does it really have to be that worse before considering the implant? Several docs recommended the implant, but i have huge anxiety that i can not go back. Iam afraid being unsatisfied and than being with the back to the wall, seeing no way out...iam young and the decision is huge, its eating me up....

Greetings

[Greg1956]

My heart aches for you. I was 30 when I developed a severe Venous Leak. Back then there weren’t tests to diagnose it so I spent the next 30 years trying to overcome ED. If you are having that much anxiety and are that unsure about an implant, it is not your time. It is a huge decision. With advances in medicine, you may have an option available in the future that gasn’t Been around for us older guys. Only you can know what is right for you.

All I can tell you is that i was implanted 4 weeks ago and wish I had known about it a couple decades ago. I have a brand new level of confidence knowing I now will have an erection I can depend on. My feelings are all intact, but I know some guys here have lost some of the sensations they felt prior to surgery.

When the time is right for you, you will have the implant. Or maybe you will simply choose to wait to see what new options come along. I was lucky to already be married when my problems started and my wife has been amusingly supportive through everything I went through. Even then it took a toll on me emotionally, not feeling like a complete man and feeling down about not satisfying my wife sexually as I had been able to. Just don’t allow this to lead you into depression. It is a medical issue you did not choose and could not have prevented. Do what you need to do to feel your best. All the best to you.

[liber.tine]

thanks for you kind words, actually i know about the risks and iam ok with everything that is involved.
But iam still concerned about the feeling of the implant... Could you try to describe how it feels? Like being horny, having sex etc. I imagine the implant kinda taking the live out of the penis, cause most of the penis then consists of plastic cylinders. Is it just the glans that gives you satisfying feelings or is the whole penis still an erogenous zone as it is before the implant? Just how much of an compromise do i have to make concerning the feeling. The function is a huge part but i would be totally unhappy if it would feel a lot less exciting....

[medhatg]

Dear liber.tine,

Do not make my mistake my friend. I wasted my youth and did not enjoy it like other people did. Life is about taking bold actions and risks. There is always a chance of failure, but heck, no pain, no gain.
If you want to PM me and have a chat, I'll be happy to.

Matt

[25yearsold]

thanks for you kind words, actually i know about the risks and iam ok with everything that is involved.
But iam still concerned about the feeling of the implant... Could you try to describe how it feels? Like being horny, having sex etc. I imagine the implant kinda taking the live out of the penis, cause most of the penis then consists of plastic cylinders. Is it just the glans that gives you satisfying feelings or is the whole penis still an erogenous zone as it is before the implant? Just how much of an compromise do i have to make concerning the feeling. The function is a huge part but i would be totally unhappy if it would feel a lot less exciting....

Me and i believe many other unimplanted young members are wondering the same questions. It would be great if you could give us more info about that bionic brothers

[medhatg]

thanks for you kind words, actually i know about the risks and iam ok with everything that is involved.
But iam still concerned about the feeling of the implant... Could you try to describe how it feels? Like being horny, having sex etc. I imagine the implant kinda taking the live out of the penis, cause most of the penis then consists of plastic cylinders. Is it just the glans that gives you satisfying feelings or is the whole penis still an erogenous zone as it is before the implant? Just how much of an compromise do i have to make concerning the feeling. The function is a huge part but i would be totally unhappy if it would feel a lot less exciting....

Me and i believe many other unimplanted young members are wondering the same questions. It would be great if you could give us more info about that bionic brothers

I'm only 4 weeks post op, but to answer some of the above points:
- Horniness: has nothing to be with the implant. With the implant, I got more confidence that made me more horny that I'm not less than other men, but nothing directly links horniness with implant.
- Sensation in the penis: for me as I'm still healing, it comes and goes. I think I've some limited numb areas that come go, but I was told it could take some time to get them back as nerves take the longest to recover.
At the end of the day, nothing beats a natural erection, but for decades, it was a struggle to make it happen. Nothing to describe the frustration, embarrassment, depression and pain that took onset when a woman is laying there with her legs open waiting for you to take action that you cannot deliver.

[geophd]

I understand your feelings completely. I can actually have essentially normal sex with 10 mg Cialis but sometimes I get headaches that suck. And I hate the thought of taking pills forever. That has made me strongly consider an implant. For some that's totally fine and they'd be happy as can be with the pills but taking them forever makes me anxious just like the thought of the implant. Everyone is different about when they feel an implant would make them happier. For me, it's the thought of fixing my ED rather than just a temporary fix with pills. For you it may the thought of being able to completely control your erection with no fear of failure or frustration of trying to keep it hard. I don't think any reasonable person with any sense of humanity would ever judge you for having an implant, so don't be anxious of that. You're anxious about losing sensitivity and having the "engorgement" feeling and a natural feeling... I'm with you there, it's scary!!! But the data speaks for itself, the vast majority of men are satisfied or very satisfied with their implants. The odds are in your favor. You might lose a little sensitivity, especially at first, but you gain a hard dick whenever you want. In that way everything will feel different anyway and the sensations will be all new and exciting for you. Your story is the classic story of young implantation and many have taken the dive before you, and many of them WERE on this sight. You can go deep into the archives and find them. Their stories are pretty consistent: born with venous leak, got implant, YAY IT WORKS GREAT, then they disappear. This problem isn't going away for you, check out the reports by merrix on this site, he went a lot longer than you and it poked up again with him. Seems to happen to a lot of men and they eventually pull the trigger and consider sex way better than the fumbling around with trying to stay hard like you report. All I gotta say is life is short and there are things in this world that can improve your experience no matter what shitty hand you were dealt. The implant is just that for men like you! I know I sound like I'm trying to convince you and, honestly, I am... But only because you ALREADY CONVINCED YOURSELF! You bailed. I'm a surfer and what you just did is blew an awesome set wave because you were scared of the drop! The best rides only happen when you COMMIT. Good luck sir, this is life changing but from the data I've collected about people with your condition, it's for the better.

[Greg1956]

thanks for you kind words, actually i know about the risks and iam ok with everything that is involved.
But iam still concerned about the feeling of the implant... Could you try to describe how it feels? Like being horny, having sex etc. I imagine the implant kinda taking the live out of the penis, cause most of the penis then consists of plastic cylinders. Is it just the glans that gives you satisfying feelings or is the whole penis still an erogenous zone as it is before the implant? Just how much of an compromise do i have to make concerning the feeling. The function is a huge part but i would be totally unhappy if it would feel a lot less exciting....

I believe every man is different so hopefully others will weigh in with their personal experiences, too.

I had my implant just four weeks ago so this is new to me. From the time I woke up after the surgery, I can't say I have felt the implant device inside of me. I can definitely feel it when I touch my dick and balls with my hands, but I know it is there. I will say that there was an irritating feeling at first when my glans pushed against underwear. It is very tender where those tips come in contact inside the glans. At four weeks out that has mostly gone away. My surgeon said I will definitely notice that feeling again the first few times having sex, but he advised me not to do that for another week.

Immediately following any big surgery I am guessing most people aren't horny. At about two weeks I regained that feeling and believe me I am a very horny guy. At 61 that has not chanced much at all from when I was a teenager. I could not resist and tried to masturbate. Right away I noticed old feelings in my penis I had not felt for years. Due to an extreme Venous Leak I had no longer been getting hard when being intimate with my wife and my erection generally went soft while masturbating. So, for me having a very firm shaft brought back sensation I hadn't been having. Although there were great feelings, the thing I was talking about with the glans made it less enjoyable and I reluctantly stopped. A week or so ago I tried again and was not only successful but it was far superior to the feelings I have been having for many years.

At this point my glans is not getting engorged like a natural erection. I have heard from other guys that may take awhile to come back and other say it did not come back. Just below the glans on the underside of my penis it is wonderfully sensitive like it was years ago.

When I jack off, I have great feelings in my entire shaft that are far better than the feelings in my less firm erections prior to the implant. The only difference for me is I had Prostate Cancer and ended up having my Prostate removed. That means a guy no longer shoots his load of cum. You will still be able to. But, if I can give you some advice, I realized after losing that ability just how much ejaculating had been my focus. Now that I have a dry cum, I think my orgasm is more intense because I notice more sensations afterwards. Previously I shot a few spurts of cum and it was over. Now I continue to feel more sensations as if I was shooting 8-10 spurts. My point is I think too many of us males have the goal of shooting our loads but don't appreciate all the other feelings associated with ejaculating.

I hope this all makes sense. Feel free to ask any additional questions or send me a PM if you ever want to.

[AirWolf]

I agree with the "you'll know it's time" comments; if sex is satisfactory for you then it might not be time yet. Once you start wanting to avoid sex, or you or your partner aren't satisfied, it's time. The thing that was great about this site is that I had spent a good year before going ahead with the implant reading everyone's experience, so I was educated on this, knew what I was getting into, and actually had lower anxiety knowing that when the time came, this was an option! I went ahead with the implant once injections started to lose efficacy. Injections for me worked great for about a decade. I could see them losing effectiveness for about 2 years before they stopped working at all. I then spent just a few months before going ahead with the implant. This was the only solution left for me to enable sex.

I'll note that I've been married for 25 years so having ED is a bit easier than if single (having one supportive partner, sex a few times a week). I can't imagine being single and feel for those that have to deal with this when single!

As for the queries on how it all feels, here's my experience -- I'm only 5 weeks so some of this is premature.
Cons:
About 1" shorter (my injected length was about 6.5", so this is OK, and I'm fairly confident, based on others experience that it will come back or at least increase some more. I'm sure I'm not 100% inflating yet either.)
More oval than round (based on others experience, this should get better)
Angle at 3:10 rather than about 1:30 for injected erection (this likely won't improve much, but shouldn't really hinder any position)
Pump in scrotum (a bit awkward but I should get used to it)
Underside of penis numb (this should improve but does reduce how good intercourse feels)

Pros:
I'd much rather pump up my penis than inject. Injection was OK but not as "user friendly" or as quick and easy as pumping. It took a week or so but I'm getting pretty good at pumping.
My head has full sensitivity and engorges during sex
Erection is rock solid and impervious to anxiety or any other erection killer. To be clear, it's a bit too hard, but I hope with time it will look and feel a bit more natural (once I get optimum length and girth and everything "settles" in more. The vibe I get from here is it takes 2 to 12 months.)
I have more pre cum now, which I think is due to hard erection and lower anxiety.
Orgasms are stronger, also I think due to hard erection, though at this stage the orgasms have a lot of pain associated due to surgery.

[Lost Sheep]

Huge Setback

It is perfectly normal to have qualms. Embrace them and investigate them. If you confront your fears, you can take their power away.

I recall one surgeon I interviewed who told me this story: Early in his career he implanted a young man. One month later, Viagra was made available for treatment of ED. His patient would have been a perfect candidate for the oral medication. Viagra became available in the late 90s. Twenty years later, it still bothers the surgeon that a superior solution was foregone for his patient simply because of narrowly missed timing.

On the other hand, waiting for a superior solution (of which there are a few being investigated, e.g. stem cell therapy) and better implants (e.g. a nitinol implant that requires no pump or reservoir for erection). But these treatments require waiting, which delays your ability to have satisfying sex now.

Trade-offs.

I believe it may have been mentioned before, but the implant parts are inside your body/penis, therefore do not directly contribute much, if anything at all to sensation/stimulation, ever. The implant provides support (erection) but all the nerve endings you focus on during sex are at or near the surface of the skin. So, no worries about losing sensation because of the implant.

It is possible to lose sensation from the operation that put the implant in place, though. Your surgeon must take care not to damage major nerves. Sometimes it happens, but most of the time does not and even if nerves are compromised, they CAN possibly heal over time and restore feeling.

Note that penile erectile tissue comes in two forms, maybe three.

Corpus Cavernosum is inside the tunica albuginea and the combined action of those two structures are what provide an erection. The implant supplants the cavernosum tissue and inflates the tunica to create the "artificial" erection bioncals enjoy.

The Glans and the penile shaft outside the tunica have Corpus Spongiosum, a different kind of erectile tissue. Spongiosum is not designed to provide an erection but, when a man is aroused, it does engorge and provide some extra volume to the penis and does enhance the experience.

In some men, the spongiosum's ability to engorge and become tumescent is affected by their E.D. condition. In others, the tumescence is unimpaired. I don't know why. The implant does not affect this engorgement (which, I again note, is not necessary for erection/penetration) so is not the highest priority in treating E.D. However, it does contribute a bit to sexual satisfaction of both parties, so bears mentioning.

As far as feeling "totally unhappy if it would feel a lot less exciting." There are many reports of men (and women) who have very satisfying and fulfilling sex lives without any genital sensation at all. Paraplegics report that other parts of their bodies provide more (sensual/sexual) sensations after they lost feeling in their genitals. Just as the blind improve their hearing (maybe simply because they pay more attention to it) and superior fingertip touch when they practice reading Braille, if you DO lose some genital sensation (whidh only happens permanently in a minority of cases, remember) you can make up for it by simply adjusting your attitude. Also, as I matured in age and my E.D. worsened, I became more attentive to my lovers' enjoyment and orgasms. This opened up entire new worlds of sexual enjoyment for us. My advice is: "There is no downside if you don't let it get you down."

My own feeling about sensations during sex is this (and this is more philisophical than sexual). I get so much satisfaction from participating in my partners' enjoyment, responses and orgasms that, if given the choice between 1) total numbness with the ability to deliver orgasms to my parnters or 2) my current condition, I would still go ahead with the surgery (though I recognize that later I might say "What was I THINKING!?"). My partners' enthusiasm means that much to me. Without her full-body, total committment, sex for me is just masturbation and pointless. Like I said, philosophical.

My recommendation (which applies only to people with my personality type, so if you are not, that is perfectly fine) is to research until you are confident you have the information to make your own decision. (Others are content to put their faith in trusted experts. This is not wrong, just not my way. It is more efficient, though and would have resulted in me having my implant some 14 months earlier and enjoying a lot more sex sooner.) See my post in the thread, "Struggling to stop researching implants" for more about this difference in patient approaches to surgeries.

Knowledge is power and shedding the light of knowledge on your fears tends to shrink them more than to magnify them. (In my opinion.) I have watched videos of the operation and they hold no sway over me, only encouragement. Post-op discomfort is in almost 100% of cases only temporary and the reports of agony over the first weeks after implant do not dissuade me. The expectation that I will be whole again (with prosthetic help) persuades me to go forward with eyes wide open.

Whether any patient is an "eyes wide open" or an "eyes wide shut", the post-op results are usually indistiguishable - that is, a restored sex life for him and his partner(s).