Helping Another Guy With ED

[Greg1956]

In 2014 I was diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. Soon after I got the news I had a dental appointment. When my dentist asked how I was, I told him about the Cancer. He said he had just started back to work following his leave after having his prostate removed due to Cancer. He let me know if I wanted to talk about it, or had any questions, to feel free to call him and he gave me his cell phone number.

The following week I called and we talked for quite awhile. It was helpful and reassuring to be able to hear from someone just going through what I was about to deal with. A couple months later I had recovered from my own surgery and had another dental appointment to get a crown. He asked how it all went and we talked a bit. As I was on the way out he asked me to step into his office. He asked if it was OK to ask me a personal question and I said sure. He said his Cancer had been intertwined around some nerves and in order to remove it the nerves had to be cut and he could no longer get an erection. He asked if my nerves were salvaged or if I had the same date. I told him my nerves were spared during the surgery, but told him about my Venous Leak and history with ED. He hadn’t duscusssd his options with his Urologist so I suggested he do that. It was before I started having the conversation with my doc about implants.

During the time since then we have asked each other how things are going, but haven’t talked details. I just got another crown a couple weeks ago so I asked if I could talk to him in private. I told him about my implant and asked if he had done anything about his erection problems. He had not. He had developed the attitude that his sex life was over and it was meant to be. He didn’t have time to talk but I told him to call me if he wanted to talk.

About a week later he called and we talked a long time and he asked a lot of questions. I told him I would be happy to show him in person how my implant works. He asked if I was comfortable showing his wife too. I said that was fine. So last night I went to their house and the three of us talked and I could tell they were hesitant to ask to see how my implant works so I got up and said let me show you how it functions.

I had both of them touching my penis while it was flaccid and then they each pumped it up, felt how firm my erection is, and then deflated it. They had been reading about implants and saw some references to guys losing penis length and asked if that was my case. I told them my size history and how I am back at pre-Prostatectomy length, but not at my original length I had prior to long term ED. He wondered what size his penis would be if he had an implant. I told him about the stretch test as a way to get a pretty decent estimate. He asked his wife to get a tape measure and when she returned he dropped his pants and boxers and exposed a huge dick. It was about 6” in its soft state and he stretched it out and had his wife measure it. It was almost 9”. I told him his soft size would likely increase and his erect size should remain pretty much the same as it had been.

It is unusual to get so personal with my dentist, but it felt very comfortable and natural. He was very grateful and moved from believing his fate was sex as he had known it was over and now he’s making an appointment with his doctor to discuss getting an implant. I have no doubt when he gets his I will be hearing all about it and it wouldn't surprise me to get a viewing, too.

There are so many men who are afraid to even talk to their own doctor about their penis and any problems they have sexually. I don’t get it. Why live in silence and frustration when you can be open and get help? His willingness to tell me about his erection problems lead me to be open with him about my implant and now he is comfortable getting his own problems fixed. It feels great to see another guy brighten up when he sees help is on the way.

[radioradio]

Greg,

That's a great story.

I'd love to be as helpful to anyone as you were with your dentist. Only problem is my wife insists that this stay between us. For some reason she is mortified that someone else will know about my new dick. I sort of get it as far as keeping it from friends and family, but I am stuck with offering whatever help I can to strangers, primarily via Frank Talk. I'd be very open to show and tells or addressing a support group like DaveKell mentioned the other day in a post. Guess I'll just have to go to a foreign city and wear a nose and mustache disguise .

Bob 2.3.1

[Greg1956]

Bob,
In full disclosure, aside from my wife I didn’t tell anyone in my family about my bionic dick. If my brother or a cousin ever has PC or he mentions ED, I would share. I did tell a couple buddies but otherwise my openness will take place as conversations come up that indicate it is relevant to discuss it. One of the guys I told goes to my gym and we swim at the same time 5 days a week and have for several years. I had to tell him why I would not be swimming for at least a month. Even then all I said was I was having urological surgery. Upon my return, and seeing me change from a guy with a fully retracting dick to several inches that no longer is prone to shrinkage, he said, “looking good there bro.” I did not want him to think I was vain enough to have penis enlargement surgery so I told him about the implant. His response was “seriously, it looks great but sorry you had to go through that.”

My wife told her friends, etc that I had hernia repair, figuring that was in the vicinity and not so awkward to talk about. Let’s face it, both men and women in general are uncomfortable with any talk about penises.

Greg

[ThePlumber1964]

Greg,

I think that you did something that will have such a positive impact on someone else’s lives. That is why I have been open about it with all my immediate family, including my wife’s immediate family, and my closest friends.

After going through this, it is so important for me to let my two male sons, brothers, brothers-in-law and male cousins that I am here to provide information, support and guidance in the event that they start to experience any signs or symptoms of ED. Specially that their sexual lives don’t need to be over; this is the main message.

All of them have been so supportive, discreet and compassionate. Hell, last time I spoke with my brother-in-law, he asked me about how everything was going, and immediately I let him know that everything was great, he told/encourage me not to lose time, and catch up as much as I can.

ThePlumber

[Greg1956]

Greg,

I think that you did something that will have such a positive impact on someone else’s lives. That is why I have been open about it with all my immediate family, including my wife’s immediate family, and my closest friends.

After going through this, it is so important for me to let my two male sons, brothers, brothers-in-law and male cousins that I am here to provide information, support and guidance in the event that they start to experience any signs or symptoms of ED. Specially that their sexual lives don’t need to be over; this is the main message.

All of them have been so supportive, discreet and compassionate. Hell, last time I spoke with my brother-in-law and he asked me about how everything was going. He told/encourage me not to lose time, and catch up as much as I can.

ThePlumber

Plumber,
You are a great guy. I hope your sons and other relatives will never need the advice you offered them, but it was cool that you opened the door so they know they can talk to you if the need arises.

I honestly don’t care who knows I have an implant, but my relatives tend to be very private about their bodies, sex, etc. even having the conversations you had to offer help would be uncomfortable for them. For example, I started nude modeling for artists when I was 18 and have done it most of my life. When my relatives heard about it you would think they heard I was
A male prostitute or in porn. They are narrow-minded. I just prefer to avoid more drama. Hell, they would likely think I had penis enlargement surgery to be more effective in my porn videos!!!

Seriously, I am proud of you for your openness with everyone you talked to. Keep up the good deeds.

Greg

[ThePlumber1964]

Greg,

ED was for me such a life game changing situation, as it is for so many men and their significant others. In my case it was so sudden, almost like a clock ticking announcing a new hour! It felt that one day I was having such a great, profound sex life with my wife, and all the sudden everything working out of order without any apparent physical or emotional reason. As I have discussed this with many attending doctors and doctors friends of mine, this is a text-book story for many men approaching their 50’s.

I mean, I am not going around telling my story, but after studying and understanding the so many reasons that can cause this horrific condition, I was not willing to keep it inside (specially after finding the implant solution) knowing that I can somehow help someone.

I understand completely your circumstances; I actually debated the decision to share it or not. But after analyzing the respectful relationship I have always have had with my family’s and my wife’s family, I felt comfortable with sharing it.

So, my humble advice to all FT brothers is that if you found the fountain of youth, think about all that you went through, and how sharing that fountain could help people’s life that you love and respect.

ThePlumber

[Greg1956]

Plumber,
I hope your implant will provide you and your wife with everything you are wanting. I got my implant in mid-September and it has already been life changing for my wife and I. My ED, unlike yours, went in for a long g, let by time. You were lucky to resolve yours relatively quickly.

Greg

[ShopMan]

Plumber,
You are a great guy. I hope your sons and other relatives will never need the advice you offered them, but it was cool that you opened the door so they know they can talk to you if the need arises.

I honestly don’t care who knows I have an implant, but my relatives tend to be very private about their bodies, sex, etc. even having the conversations you had to offer help would be uncomfortable for them. For example, I started nude modeling for artists when I was 18 and have done it most of my life. When my relatives heard about it you would think they heard I was
A male prostitute or in porn. They are narrow-minded. I just prefer to avoid more drama. Hell, they would likely think I had penis enlargement surgery to be more effective in my porn videos!!!

Seriously, I am proud of you for your openness with everyone you talked to. Keep up the good deeds.

Greg[/quote]

Greg, Your family is much like my own. However I would not hesitate to do a "show and/or tell" for anyone who seriously asks. I don't know why sex has to be such a taboo subject. As advanced as society is in many ways sex is the one area that for some people (many people actually) that remains in the closet.
Having said all of that my wife does not wish for me to tell any family members that I have a implant or that we, at our ages, are still sexually active. I have to respect that. She has agreed to the show and tell thing though.
Charlie

[Greg1956]

Charlie,
I am of the same mindset and thinking that you are. I wish sex was something people could talk about more openly.

Greg

[antelope]

Well done, guys. Well done!