Help me through this - she says she can't feel anything..

[MrVenousLeak]

Hi guys

I feel the unthinkable has happened to me and I'm not sure how to see past it. My implant was about 3 months ago and I've had a hell of a time with it. A fair bit of pain and swelling. After about 12 weeks now we finally tested it tonight. It went badly. She says she can't feel much as its smaller!!!!!! Her words were " Im sorry but I cant really feel anything". Then she felt bad and tried to tell me it was alright and not to worry, but I could see there was a look of terror on her face.

After years of ED and every possible treatment, I bit the bullet and got the implant. I know very well it has got smaller because I can feel it. Its the girth that she said she cant feel anymore. I love my wife and I feel that the 3 years we have not had sex has already strained the relationship and I fear for the worst.

I also have a bend in the dick to the right side permanently and kink in one cyclinder that feels like its bent. The dick itself is not curved, the whole thing comes out at a bit of an angle to the right. I also notice that I'm quite "flat" now rather than round shaped. I can deal with the bend to one side which the Uro says is becuase of the tubing but the thinness and shortness is ruining my relationship. Uro says he thinks the width/girth is good. I am not sure what other patients he has. He generally is a high volume implanter and seems to say he thinks the result is good and I should be happy with it. He said he couldn't make it any longer as the tips are quite close to the top of the glans. He said its the longest you can have it. He explained that its like you cant put a bigger tyre tube in a tyre. Whilst he says the girth is good, I know I am smaller and thinner now and its the lack of girth thats becoming an issue.

I cycle every day, try to leave it inflated for about 40 minutes a day. I'm about 3.5 inch flaccid and about 4 and 1/8 inch erect. I had hoped I would gain some size after my daily cycling and 3 months out I dont see any change in size at all. I can only get about 6 full pumps in before the pump wont have any give. If I wait a few minutes I might be able to get another full one in. The thing is maxxed out then. I try and do multiple small little pumps and get slightly larger but it seems thats about all the implant will give me. Im still really thin like a pencil!

Please help me through this. I am in total despair. I had thought the implant would be the final answer for me.

[joeyburgers]

Hang in there bro, I see on this board it takes time to gain... sometimes over a year. How long have you been pumping? If you’ve been implanted three months, it’s still early in the game so don’t lose hope. Also, what model implant do you have? Is it one that allows for any length gain?
Your flaccid size falls into the average category so no worries there. If your wife has stuck with you so far she knows it’s a journey. Maybe after all that once you’re stretched fully and healed you might be able to accommodate a bigger implant somewhere down the road? Just a thought..I don’t know the answer to that. Keep pumping and stay positive bro! You’ve already took a positive step. You’ve got a rock solid erection that can go all night!

[edsince18]

what was your original girth/length??
if there was significant size loss after surgery, isn't it doctor's mistake?

[Youngmen]

Who was your doctor and which cylinder size did he use? How many RTEs?

[ED2013]

How does your size compare to your size preop? Any scarring or peyronies ?

[maxxxxx]

What is your girth with implant

[DaveKell]

My wife's comments in the beginning were along the lines of "it's different now" as well. She too noticed the smaller girth at first but said it was "okay", rather unenthusiastically. You both have to accept a new normal. At least sex can happen now. Shower her with attention and appreciation and keep trying. It WILL get better. Your size will improve a bit eventually. I think many men get disappointed quickly because they weren't mentally prepared to accept that there would be differences in how they were before. Some of them panic. All this does is put you right back in the mindset of the failures you experienced with ED. Counter productive way of thinking that could seriously dampen your new attempts at sex. Have a heart to heart talk about this being what you have to work through now. If there is enough love and support you should stop worrying now and grab a positive outlook. My wife and I had issues to work through and we're finally over the hump 8 months later finally.

[MrVenousLeak]

Thanks guys for your replies. I dont actually know about my implant info because the doctor hasn't given me too much info.

I can say that I didn't have complete ED prior to surgery - I could get a full erection and was happy with the size, but the erection required constant manual stimulus or it would deflate in a second or two. Whilst I dont have pre-mesurements, I can remember how it felt in my hand and its circumfrence. With this AMS I am now definitely thinner. Also have a bend to one side. If I wrap a tape measure around about the area of the middle of my shaft I seem to get a measurement of 11cm or 4.25inch. Becuase the penis is "flatter" rather than rounder, if feels that top and underside are wider than the sides which seem thinner if that makes sense. I never had any peyronies or scarring. I can say that I had an unexpected stroke at 40 and that ruined a lot of my libido or sex drive for reasons I couldn't explain, although I had no physical deficits from the stroke other than poor short term memory and a few wording finding issues now and then.

I guess as per DaveKell's comments, I probably need to accept the inevitable and probably need to come to some way of dealing with it and discussing with my wife. I guess I just wasn't expecting the loss to be so great. I'm reluctant to post the name of the doctor as I dont want to create any problems, however he maintains he's a high volume implanter in my country and has a whole bunch of youtube videos about implants and his surgeries. He appears very knowleagable.

[radioradio]

As usual, Dave is right on the money!

I'm 6 months since my implant, and we're still working things out. I know I don't have the length or girth I once had, but they are both slowly improving. My wife is still not comfortable with my new dick. Mentally, that is. Still a bit spooked by the notion of pumps and tubes and cylinders to just plain enjoy it. We have had some great sex, mind you, but it takes her a long time to just let go and enjoy the ride.

Hang in there. Talk it through.

I don't expect to reach my new max length or girth for another 6 months or more.

Wish you the best.

Bob

[David_R]

I have regained my original length and girth, but it certainly did not happen overnight. (And I can't help but wonder how she would feel if you were to say something like "you know, your boobs are too big/small" or "are you gaining weight?")