Two More Years 'til Medicare. Implant Worth it at 65?

[Lost Sheep]

If at any point it was decided that sexual relations were to end for some unforeseeable reason it would be a well discussed mutual decision; not a one sided stand off. This would also include , "options ". IF either partner were totally incapacitated to perform or unwilling to participate seeking substitutes from outside the relationship would be on the table if necessary.

Agreed. Not an ideal solution, and difficult for some to accept, but EVERY option should be open.

I just turned 65. My present girlfriend is nearly half my age. We have been together 10 years. During my progression with ED both of us got by by substituting alternate sexual foreplay activities during times when I was having difficulties maintaining a sufficient errection for penetration.

Ideal accomodation to an unfortunate (albeit, thankfully temporary) circumstance

She is sexually active with me because she chooses to be sexual with me. ... IF ... a woman really wants to be with you, she will find a way to do that !

Ideal situation. I am happy for you.

As one of my counselors put it, "withholding sex from a partner is a severe form of psychological abuse"; no matter how they attempt to rationalize it.

Yes, indeed. A marriage is a PARTNERSHIP. Both partners dedicated to the well-being of the other AND OF THE UNION.

I believe we are on the same page but for the primacy of the male partner. Consider this piece of advice a friend of mine got.

As a young couple on their honeymoon, they asked a (vacation) photographer who had been married for 50 years, "What is the secret to such a long marriage?"

His answer:

He looked at the groom, and said, "YOU, you do everything she tells you to do."

Then he looked at the bride and told her, "YOU, spoil him so rotten that no other woman will want him."

I thought about that for a long time.

Letting the woman have input into what happens to the couple is wise. Women are nesters by nature. They will ALWAYS desire to preserve and advance the common good of the union. They will never give their husband bad advice. They prioritize for the benefit of their children, their home, their husband. The husband may not be top of the list, but at least he is in the mix.

A loving wife will take care of her love as fervently as a loving husband takes care of his.

[justanotherdrumber]

If at any point it was decided that sexual relations were to end for some unforeseeable reason it would be a well discussed mutual decision; not a one sided stand off. This would also include , "options ". IF either partner were totally incapacitated to perform or unwilling to participate seeking substitutes from outside the relationship would be on the table if necessary.

Agreed. Not an ideal solution, and difficult for some to accept, but EVERY option should be open.

I just turned 65. My present girlfriend is nearly half my age. We have been together 10 years. During my progression with ED both of us got by by substituting alternate sexual foreplay activities during times when I was having difficulties maintaining a sufficient errection for penetration.

Ideal accomodation to an unfortunate (albeit, thankfully temporary) circumstance

She is sexually active with me because she chooses to be sexual with me. ... IF ... a woman really wants to be with you, she will find a way to do that !

Ideal situation. I am happy for you.

As one of my counselors put it, "withholding sex from a partner is a severe form of psychological abuse"; no matter how they attempt to rationalize it.

Yes, indeed. A marriage is a PARTNERSHIP. Both partners dedicated to the well-being of the other AND OF THE UNION.

I believe we are on the same page but for the primacy of the male partner. Consider this piece of advice a friend of mine got.

As a young couple on their honeymoon, they asked a (vacation) photographer who had been married for 50 years, "What is the secret to such a long marriage?"

His answer:

He looked at the groom, and said, "YOU, you do everything she tells you to do."

Then he looked at the bride and told her, "YOU, spoil him so rotten that no other woman will want him."

I thought about that for a long time.

Letting the woman have input into what happens to the couple is wise. Women are nesters by nature. They will ALWAYS desire to preserve and advance the common good of the union. They will never give their husband bad advice. They prioritize for the benefit of their children, their home, their husband. The husband may not be top of the list, but at least he is in the mix.

A loving wife will take care of her love as fervently as a loving husband takes care of his.

A friend of mine was a wedding photographer.

One day he asked me if I knew what it was that was guaranteed to cut your active sex life in half.

Before I could answer he said, "Two mouthfuls of wedding cake" !
Then he added, "Each additional child after that cuts it in half again " !

Now, I never said that I didn't allow my partner any input into what happens within the couple. In fact I highly value her input and ideas and consult with her often. I admire a woman who can be independent when necessary, think for herself and make decisions standing on her feet.

See, it's just that we agree that there can only be one leader and we work together; but we have certain agreements from the beginning.

I cannot agree to either partner in a relationship prioritizing any of the children over each other.
This is becoming a more common practice contributing to increasing divorce rates.

I've seen a lot of this on dating sites. The females first states she has been having difficulty locating, "Mr. Right", questions where all the good guys have gone; then ends with "No man will ever be more important to her than her children" ...
... just what every man longs to hear from a prospective lifetime partner.

I've seen a lot of Brides take advantage of their husbands and run around behind their backs.

[Lost Sheep]

Now, I never said that I didn't allow my partner any input into what happens within the couple. In fact I highly value her input and ideas and consult with her often. I admire a woman who can be independent when necessary, think for herself and make decisions standing on her feet.

See, it's just that we agree that there can only be one leader and we work together; but we have certain agreements from the beginning.

I mistook your emphasis earlier. I apologize for that. We are indeed in agreement on the decision-making within a marriage. And, ultimately, one partner should be the "head" of the marriage. How to resolve any impasse is up to the couple.

I cannot agree to either partner in a relationship prioritizing any of the children over each other.
This is becoming a more common practice contributing to increasing divorce rates.

I've seen a lot of this on dating sites. The females first states she has been having difficulty locating, "Mr. Right", questions where all the good guys have gone; then ends with "No man will ever be more important to her than her children" ...
... just what every man longs to hear from a prospective lifetime partner.

That can be a problem. It can be discouraging to a man to START out as second priority. (But it is understandable that a woman who risked her life to bring a life into the world would feel that way.) I opine that it is far healthier to the relationship if the man accepts her children as his own as much as is possible. But I was not thinking about second marriages anyway.

I've seen a lot of Brides take advantage of their husbands and run around behind their backs.

That can be another problem. A major one.

[FreddyFree]

I'm a proponent of Male lead relationships. My relationships begin with the understanding that the man is the dominant partner within the relationship and that one of the expectations in maintaining that relationship is continuing sexual relations.

Maybe that's the problem. Why do you feel the male should be the dominant partner?

My marriage is an equal one. I do not rule, she does not rule. We have never raised our voice to each other, ever, in 37 years. We do talk, debate and mutually agree or disagree on issues. Agreements are easy to deal with. Disagreements just take more time and acknowledging that opinions are just that, opinion. I respect her and she respects me.

Our sex is amazing. And I have never insisted she should avail herself to my desires if she doesn't want to. She is enthusiastic most of the time.

She is her own person, with wants and needs. I let her be that person. We are very much in love.

[justanotherdrumber]

I'm a proponent of Male lead relationships. My relationships begin with the understanding that the man is the dominant partner within the relationship and that one of the expectations in maintaining that relationship is continuing sexual relations.

Maybe that's the problem. Why do you feel the male should be the dominant partner?

My marriage is an equal one. I do not rule, she does not rule. We have never raised our voice to each other, ever, in 37 years. We do talk, debate and mutually agree or disagree on issues. Agreements are easy to deal with. Disagreements just take more time and acknowledging that opinions are just that, opinion. I respect her and she respects me.

Our sex is amazing. And I have never insisted she should avail herself to my desires if she doesn't want to. She is enthusiastic most of the time.

She is her own person, with wants and needs. I let her be that person. We are very much in love.

...... anyway !

Opting to get the implant is a no brainer !

You certainly wouldn't want to keep taking expensive pills and poking your Weiner with needles the rest of your life !

The problem IS, ... "Do you want to keep on masturbating for the next 30 years ???"

Once your dick is back in working order you know you're going to want to try it out on some real pussy.

Once you get a taste for real pussy, have a reliable penis and feel like a complete man once again; then you're not going to want to listen to excuses anymore.


There are a lot of "other women" out there in this age range still interested in SEX

[Cigar56]

Well, that's the thing. She isn't all that interested anymore, frankly. Marriage is fine; she simply doesn't have much desire. That makes it more difficult for me to decide what to do.

Maybe it's just me because I read of this all the time.

The wife can go months without sex and has limited desire, while the "Male" is left un- satisfied, jacking off 3-4 times a week attempting to compensate for the difference in libido; some guys even seeking "permission" or approval from the female to do so.

WTF ... ? The "Marriage" is N0T fine !

The terms of cohabitation may be " comfortable" and mutually acceptable, but the only thing left of the "Marriage" is any money in the savings account divisible by two [minus attorney fees], accepting your half of the debt on the credit cards and voiding some papers at the court house.

I fail to see where anyone finds this situation completely "acceptable" and considers the "Marriage" just; "fine" !

I feel pretty sure the "fine" descriptor is being applied only to the non-sexual parts of the marriage.

I believe that I do take your meaning, though. If the non-sexual parts of any marriage are fine, the way should be open to discuss the sexual parts and come to a meeting of the minds about finding a solution.

Two people who care ABOUT each other care FOR each other. Caring for your partner does not imply a spouse should be sexual with the other when it is inconvenient, painful or even unrewarding, but it does imply the recalcitrant spouse should do whatever is reasonable to see to the other spouse's satisfaction.

I am not a marriage counselor (obviously), but having successfully avoided the institution of marriage for 50 years, I feel I am now qualified to give advice on the subject to anyone. Seriously, being on the outside allows me a lot of perspective without the biases that being invested often brings.

The line in bold above is correct. Other than the sex, my marriage is superb. Many men are in the same predicament. Some rely on masturbation to get over the hump, others "outsource" the sex.

[Gordon]

You need to get one before you go on Medicare. If you have private insurance now is the time to get it done. Just carefully research your surgeon before making the final decision.