23 and hopeless: a life without sex

[Sadguy28]

Hi guys. I need help and I am hoping some people can help me. I am 23 years old and have had issues with ED for about as long as I can remember. I have always had weaker erections, but things have gotten worse. I notice I practically never get morning wood anymore at all. When I do get a rare boner, it is very weak and not sufficient for sex. Another issue is that I have always had extremely premature ejaculation with very little ejaculate. When I say premature ejaculation I don't just mean under a minute, or sometimes even 30 seconds. I can cum in as little as a few strokes of my penis sometimes. It has been very embarrassing for me.

I have never successfully had sex. I tried once and had a weak boner that came after literally just brushing up against the persons leg a little bit. The person I was intimate with saw that I had already cum in the condom and said "I should see a doctor or something because that's not normal." I was so mortified, but to be honest, he was right, even if it was rude to say. What I am and always have experienced is not normal. It is humiliating, and leads me to believe this has to be something I can get treatment for. I have seen my urologist who recommends I see a "sex therapist". I am convinced this isnt just a psychological problem. One urologist I saw did a penile ultrasound and after injecting me with the maximum dose to medically induce an erection, my penis never even got hard. I told him "Isn't that concerning that the injection did not even give me an erection". He said yes that is weird, but still insisted it was a mental thing for me. He was still telling me I should see a therapist, and I know there must be a physical problem here. He couldn't even give me medicine to get me hard.

I am at my wits end. All romantic relationships consist of me avoiding sex because I am so embarrassed to be having these problems at such a young age. I cannot get intimate with other people. Please, please, please, if you read this, provide me with some insight. Anything. I can't live the rest of my life like this and I need someone to actually listen to my problems. I am SICK of being told it is just in my mind because I am only 23.

Things to note:
-I was born 2.5 months premature at about 2.5 lbs. I was a very late bloomer developmentally and had some complications at birth, wondering if this could be contributing.
-I have a pretty significant curve upwards in my penis when it does get erect at all. It almost curves straight up my body and, even if it was hard enough, penetration would be difficult if not impossible based on the level of curvature (because ultrasound didn't work doctor brushed this off).
- I have been having lots of urinary problems as well: urinary retention, urinary urgency, interstitial cystitis, and just in general painful urination and pain with ejaculation as well. I also think I get some retrograde ejaculation.

I am falling apart, I can't live like this anymore. I can't go my entire life without sex. PLEASE, help me guys. I thank you from the bottom of my heart in advance. Happy to have found this space to voice my thoughts.

[George03]

Not hopeless at all. But my recommendations would be to exhaust other possibilities first, see another doc if nothing improves. If all else fails, then the implant will be the answer to your dreams.


Good luck@

[David_R]

George, with all of the symptoms you have shared, I don't know how a competent doctor can think that it is a psychological situation rather than a physical one. You definitely need to see another urologist, and soon. If you want, you can share the area where you live, and guys in here can share their good experiences with urologists in that area. We are here for you, brother. We know first hand how E.D. works as much (or more) on the mind as on the dick. We are here for you, brother.

David

[Lost Sheep]

George, with all of the symptoms you have shared, I don't know how a competent doctor can think that it is a psychological situation rather than a physical one. You definitely need to see another urologist, and soon. If you want, you can share the area where you live, and guys in here can share their good experiences with urologists in that area. We are here for you, brother. We know first hand how E.D. works as much (or more) on the mind as on the dick. We are here for you, brother.

David

I highly recommend what David said.

A psychologist should help rather than hurt. Ruling out a psychological problem will help with authorizing medical treatment, I think.

You used the pronoun "he" regarding your intimacy. Are you certain you are homosexual? I have no experience in your societal circles, but I wonder if it is within your comfort zone to be a "bottom" while you sort out your erectile functioning.

Depending on how much upward curvature you have, a penis that points that way can put rather beneficial pressure on a woman's "G" spot.

George03's advice to examine and exhaust possible treatments is good. The more drastic ones have consequences. If simpler, less invasive urological treatments (for your other issues) result in improved erectile function, you are blessed.

Avoiding intimacy with romantic partners is a rather drastic thing to do. If you have someone you like and who likes and respects you, non-sexual intimacies are quite enjoyable and sexual intimacies (even in the presence of weak erections, quick climax and other issues) do not have to be penetrative to be rewarding and constructive to the relationship.

A healthy relationship involves partners accepting each others' issues. Being honest up front is a sign of respect which, in my experience, generates respect, trust and acceptance more often than not. And if a potential partner is not that way toward you, they do not warrant your affection anyway. Love and friendship trumps infirmities in the good relationships. Try only for the good ones. You will be happier and experience less heartache in the long run. No matter the gender of your partner.

[Mazzio]

Your story is quite same as mine. I have always had severe problems with erection and at your age I could not have proper sex at all. I was also told that I had mental problems but it was not true. It took years to get a proper diagnose of venouse leak.

In your case it is possible that the injection before ultrasound was not properly done. It happens sometimes that the needle goes to deep.

Go to another doctor. If you tell where you live somebody can tell you names of good urologists.

There will be a proper cure for you.

[young_and_impotent]

Same story as you buddy. Even my doctors think it's mental. Can't even hope to have sexz next to no erections. Hope you will get better doctors.

[Alf 77]

The first urologists I saw told me that it was all on my mind, went to psychologists and psychiatrists and they said the same. My answer was, so what if its all in my mind, Im going nuts and need to resolve this shit now. Went to see another urologist in my country who happens to be Paul Perito's partner here. So after pills that often worked, but sometimes not, I couldn't handle the anxiety of not knowing when I was going to fail. Saw Perito, performed a doppler and I had venous leakage, but even if I hadn't I would probably would have done the implant just to get rid of all that anxiety, depression and insecurity that ED was causing. I would recommend to you, by my experience, to go see another urologist today, fuck that shit that all is in your mind. Don't loose hope because there is a remedy even a "cure" with an implant, but at your age I would try pills first, if they don't provide the erections and confidence you need, go for the implant. So what if you're young, even more, you should enjoy sex without suffering if you will have an erection or not. And don't waste too much time, go and find the solution, because there is one, we don't live in the 1800 anymore.

Were here for you. Good luck.