Penis Version 2.0 - Ongoing Journal

[stephen54]

Hi All:

I'm going in tomorrow AM for my Titan. Could not be more excited. Long time coming and a lot of deliberation and research and, now, extremely high hopes and expectations.

I've lurked here on FT and have just read and listened from the sidelines for a couple years. Decided to finally register and join this community which has been such an amazing source of information and support from what I've seen.

Was encouraged by a member here to document my implant experience for others to read and consider and maybe find some value, so I think I'll do that, starting tomorrow. Seems others have found value also not just in the stories but in photos documenting the process (before, during, after) so I'll do my best to also document and share photos for those who might have interest.

I did post in the new member/introductions area last week but, as background in case this is helpful to others, I'll re-copy here the introduction and background story I had shared and which ultimately got me to this juncture and decision. Thanks everyone for this great community of support. I hope I can in some way contribute helpfully to others.

Background:

I just turned 54. Started experiencing signs of ED at age of 35. Libido was absolutely never a problem, still isn't a problem at all. Our last child was born when I was 34, had vasectomy, and within that next year or two the reality of ED was just - with me. It wasn't consistently bad, but it was definitely there. Had Viagra prescribed. It worked really nicely for a few years, maybe 5-7 years where it was helpful enough and allowed reasonably normal sex. I did notice the efficacy waning over time. So the Viagra (and Cialis) doses ramped up repeatedly over several years. The uptick in dose was sooner and sooner accompanied by a steadily flattening efficacy. The joys of physical/drug tolerance, right? So doses of PDE5's went higher but hardness of erections did not maintain any kind of material improvement. Divorced my ex-wife and this had believe it or not nothing to do with the ED. But she was never particularly motivated around sex, and it was literally always on me to initiate, take charge, etc, and so sex just was not particularly important to her and was not reciprocated with energy and interest.

But sex was always very, very important to me. Not for its own sake (well ok, sometimes for its own sake, for sure, YES) but on the whole, I just always wanted a very active, very imaginative sex life with a person who had a similar vibe and desire. So my thinking is that my situation was/is a definite primary cause of ED (venous leakage, etc) overlapped with a blah partnership with my first wife. As to my first marriage, I'm not saying these psycho-social factors around her lack of interest and the discrepancies in our desire had nothing to do with my ED. It's entirely possible they did, or that these exacerbated my underlying, inevitable organic/physical ED factors.

Anyway...spent about ten years messing around with PDE5's, saw the writing on the wall, then in 2011 sought out Trimix. In the period of time where I sought out Trimix, I had met someone new and she's a girl of 52 with what I thought to be the impossible - a teenage-like libido which matched mine. An extremely highly sexual woman and a woman I clicked with mentally and emotionally and in all the other ways which matter well beyond sex, too. In this context I found an increased motivation and resolve to better figure my ED out - I knew I had to do something aggressive and I was excited to try injections.

Better living by chemistry. Definitely a reason why they say this. Injections turned out to be pure absolutely ridiculous magic and for a good long period of years. The first combination I was prescribed was called Mix #5. I think these are more or less common names for the same concentrations mixed by different pharmacies. My pharmacy uses the following blends:

Papaverine / Phentolamine / Prostaglandin (Alprostadil)
mix #5: 30mg 1mg 10 mcg's
mix #8: 30mg 2mg 20 mcg's
mix #9: 30mg 4mg 40 mcg's
mix #13: 30mg 6mg 60 mcg's
mix #16: 30mg 6mg 100 mcg's

I was on mix #5 for about 4.5 years. It produced nearly instant, absolute iron-hard erections with just 30-40 units injected. They lasted forever. I am talking about teenager type rock hard maximum rigidity erections which would not remotely soften for at least an hour. Often more. There were times we could have sex nonstop for 90+ minutes approaching 2 hours. Complete sexual Olympics. I could have multiple orgasms spanning 1-2 hours and not lose almost any of the erection and I don't even know how to explain it other than to say it was a dream I never wanted to wake up from. Luckiest guy on earth stuff. We drove each other to blissful exhaustion for years and years.

But - over the 4+ years I was on mix #5 the volume of injection required to maintain the same sexual nirvana gradually ticked upwards. And here's the thing - based on what we experienced together, and based on what I described above - who the hell would want that to taper off and lessen? So there becomes this quest to maintain this crazily elevated sexual experience for us both. Going back to "ok" just was not feeling ok. So when I got up around 90-100 units of mix #5 (which still produced most of the magic and long lasting erections) they moved me up to mix #8 with the thinking being that they don't want you to exceed 100 units in any one given injection.

I'll shorten the story here, and I'm happy to fill in details with more specifics if anyone really wants to understand the trajectory of how Trimix can go, but suffice to say that while I was on mix #5 for 4+ years, I then moved very steadily and very frustratingly and alarmingly through the next 3 higher potency mixes over the next 4 years. The pattern became...move to higher potency mix...inject a steadily increasing volume of the higher potency mix...and receive "ok" but not amazing erections. The quality of erections steadily slid backward. They were less rigid, slower to occur, and they certainly did not last nearly as long. Not even close. In a relatively short period of time, I felt lucky to be able to get hard, penetrate, have sex for 15-30 minutes, and all the while being super aware of the lessened quality of my erection vs historical experiences. All of this is occurring with the same highly sexual woman I mentioned above. We remain rabid for each other over the entire decade I'm describing above, but the chemicals are just decreasing and decreasing in terms of effect.

At the same time, I'm more and more finding that I'm bruising more easily and frequently at injections sites, I feel stringy bumpy tissue developing at injection sites, and the prostaglandin burn is really getting a bit crazy. Just a lot of persistent tenderness and pain through my penis and for a long time after injecting (days). I'm injecting 2-3 times per week most of this period. Have been piggybacking Viagra for several years in conjunction with the Trimix and so that became the new norm, too, over time...pop the blue pill...inject...hope for the best...more often than not, receive an erection technically capable of penetrative sex but for briefer and briefer sessions and even positions started to need to be adapted. For example, she likes to ride and I like her there but gravity really worked against us if she was on top...things seemed to work better in missionary where my penis was the lowest point on the map and blood had nowhere else to move toward.

Present day I am just short of 9 years total on Trimix and I'm on mix #13. This mix lasted me less than a year and went from 30 to now 95 units. More pain than ever. Erection quality half-assed and unpredictable even while piggybacking with 100mg Viagra. The girl is my wife now and she's still magic and I'm still blessed to be partnered with a woman who probably has more testosterone in her than most men do, haha. She is supportive and we've been 100% open and honest about every shred of everything over the years. ALL OF IT. And I cannot recommend that approach highly enough. Whomever your partner is, and whatever you're going through? Fucking. Spill. The. Information. Be flat honest. Tell it all. TALK. In our situation, she says she is willing to adapt and "find our way". She would say find other ways, find "other things"...I would say "settle for less"). But, again, the problem is...once you have the experiences I'm sharing, above? You cannot un-know the amazing things your penis is actually capable of accomplishing. You just can't. It's something you can't help but want to return to, to at least approximate as closely as humanly possible. And so, ultimately, right now, at the place I've gotten to on the evening before implantation, I saw my situation very, very clearly as either:

1) enduring the transition to the final Trimix weapon available (mix #16) and try and fight through the increasing injection pain and frustration and negligible/so-so erections for the next year...or

2) just say F-it...time for the implant.

So I'm scheduled for tomorrow, 11/18. Going to do the Titan with Dr. Levine here in Chicago at Rush University Medical Center. I've got great insurance paying for this at 90% and I figured...what in the hell am I waiting for? Seriously. I got almost a decade of, mostly, the kind of crazy, fun, sustained, confident sex I thought you only find in high grade porn and teenage dreams, and I've enjoyed it alongside a loving, wonderful, supportive partner and wife in all the categories other than sex. So why pretend sex should take a back seat, why lie to myself, why do that thing where you equivocate and start telling yourself "oh, that's ok....". All I can share is my experience and my mindset, and my mindset (for me...I'm not judging or expecting anyone else to think or feel the same)...my mindset is, no...NO..."ok" is actually NOT OK. Or..."ok" for the next year, with an utter inevitability of Trimix reaching the end of its run...enough is just enough at some point. I'm healthy enough today, the insurance will fortunately pay most of the implant costs...for me I couldn't be more excited. I'm giving myself what I believe, on balance, is my best opportunity to have the best erection and the best experiences with it which modern medicine and science allows today.

Anyway...sorry to rattle on and on here. I've been off in the shadows reading posts here for long enough to say that there's a lot of guys who have inspired me and helped me think through things and see hope and come to my most informed and balanced decisions for me. I'm grateful for this community of people supporting and trying their best to help one another. I hope I can do the same in the future. Thanks for listening. Happy to answer any questions if I can be of any help.

[Quester]

Best wishes for you tomorrow

[stephen54]

Best wishes for you tomorrow

Thanks so much!

[FreddyFree]

Good luck tomorrow! You’ll be fucking hard in no time! Now you can fuck all night if you’re fit enough.

[544kenmatt]

Good luck tomorrow. I am on day 16 post AMS implant. It will be interesting to see what your experience is.

For me, post-op pain was more of a soreness than pain, if that makes any sense. I rated it a 1 to 2 out of ten. My surgeon keeps his patients overnight for observation. I did not get a wink of sleep because of the activity on the unit but the good thing was that they removed the dressing and foley before my discharge.

My penis and balls were very sensitive and sore afterwards, so much so that even the water from the shower was irritating. It still is irritating to touch even now but much, much less. I did use frozen peas intermittently and that did help. They gave me Tylenol and oxycodone for pain, neither of which I used.

The big reveal post-op (removal of the dressing) was a bit of a shock. I was semi-inflated and covered with blood clots and bruises. I think this is probably common. Turns out the clots were just dried blood (not actual wounds) and fell off quickly. The biggest bruise is still visible now but has faded a bit.

My incision is scrotal, which can be uncomfortable and pulling at times. The underside of my penis was very numb, almost up to the head. I was concerned about this, but my surgeon says the nerves will likely regenerate. I think it is a little better than it was.

I went out and bought some tight underwear and a tight jock to wear for going out. Bouncing around down there is definitely not pleasant. Around the house , I go commando and wear pajama bottoms or a robe (I live alone).

The plan is to get it up and running in four weeks, when things have healed and calmed down. The AMS equipment in the scrotum is definitely hard and heavy- feeling. I'm told it will "break in."

I am semi-inflated all the time now and they are telling me this is my new flaccid. It looks impressive but I'm finding it a little uncomfortable. I will discuss this in four weeks at my appt.

Good luck and looking forward to hearing about your experience.

Ken

[stephen54]

Good luck tomorrow! You’ll be fucking hard in no time! Now you can fuck all night if you’re fit enough.

Your post makes me happy, man. Yes. I guess you see where we're coming from. 54 and 52 feels like 18 for both of us and yes...all night is pretty damn appealing. Also appealing...spontaneous and brief and wherever/whenever we want. It's been a long damn while since we could just attach each other for 5 minutes spontaneously - and have the ability to have that brief encounter where and when we want and as often as we want. That's honest to god just about as appealing...or borderline more so...than the all nighters. I think the new dick may deliver both. I'm ecstatic....

[stephen54]

Good luck tomorrow. I am on day 16 post AMS implant. It will be interesting to see what your experience is.

For me, post-op pain was more of a soreness than pain, if that makes any sense. I rated it a 1 to 2 out of ten. My surgeon keeps his patients overnight for observation. I did not get a wink of sleep because of the activity on the unit but the good thing was that they removed the dressing and foley before my discharge.

My penis and balls were very sensitive and sore afterwards, so much so that even the water from the shower was irritating. It still is irritating to touch even now but much, much less. I did use frozen peas intermittently and that did help. They gave me Tylenol and oxycodone for pain, neither of which I used.

The big reveal post-op (removal of the dressing) was a bit of a shock. I was semi-inflated and covered with blood clots and bruises. I think this is probably common. Turns out the clots were just dried blood (not actual wounds) and fell off quickly. The biggest bruise is still visible now but has faded a bit.

My incision is scrotal, which can be uncomfortable and pulling at times. The underside of my penis was very numb, almost up to the head. I was concerned about this, but my surgeon says the nerves will likely regenerate. I think it is a little better than it was.

I went out and bought some tight underwear and a tight jock to wear for going out. Bouncing around down there is definitely not pleasant. Around the house , I go commando and wear pajama bottoms or a robe (I live alone).

The plan is to get it up and running in four weeks, when things have healed and calmed down. The AMS equipment in the scrotum is definitely hard and heavy- feeling. I'm told it will "break in."

I am semi-inflated all the time now and they are telling me this is my new flaccid. It looks impressive but I'm finding it a little uncomfortable. I will discuss this in four weeks at my appt.

Good luck and looking forward to hearing about your experience.

Ken

Thank you so much, Ken...I'm really grateful for your words and the detail and viewpoint on your experiences. Really appreciated!

Stephen

[Johnnypoppy]

I’m scheduled with Dr Levine too! Dec 5th Please keep us posted on how things go.
I wish you the best of luck!

[stephen54]

I’m scheduled with Dr Levine too! Dec 5th Please keep us posted on how things go.
I wish you the best of luck!

Thank you, will do!

[Greg1956]

Best wishes to you. I look forward to hearing about your experience afterwards.