I just give up.

[bldoink]

I have a friend that was seriously damaged in the groin during an airborne training accident involving a tree. He has led an active sex life with multiple partners and then with a wife and committed partner for for the past 15 or more years. He specializes in oral and is a big fan of face sitting. He can never have natural children and wouldn't want to at this point but has had a rich and apparently satisfying sex life for many years. I strongly suspect your privates are in far better shape than his. He got lemons. He made lemonade. He seems happy.

I'm not suggesting your situation parallels my friends situation. I'm not suggesting you don't have more hope for a standard conventional sex life with partners. I wouldn't know. I'm just saying there is hope for a satisfying life even when you are dealt some crappy cards.

[Lost Sheep]

I know from personal experience how frustrating it is to not have a clear path to success through a field of inscrutable oppositions. And how refreshing it is to see a clear path to action.

My advice: Take your future into your own hands proactively. Go out, find a kind woman who LIKES you as the first (two) criteria. Level with her when the subject of physical intimacy comes up. (This is not to lower her expectations, but will show her that you are genuine.)

So, get a partner. Get one now.

I posted on a dating site that I was impotent and looking for a kind woman to accompany me on my journey from impotence to the functionality of an implant. Kind of a lab partner.

I got a lot of support...and a few volunteers. Even BEFORE I would be able to perform sexually. They respected my honesty (and commented favorably on my courage - which was not courage, but actually my desperation).

Women are incredibly supportive if they feel trusted, respected and safe. Don't waste a day of a potential relationship just because coital sex is off the table. Remember, even flaccid sex can be quite a lot of fun.

If she knows going in that you cannot have coital sex, there is no pressure to "perform".

Of course, it helps if you are willing to learn cunnilingus or other ways or pleasing her.

Women, especially if they are experienced sexually, know that coitus is not all the porn films make it out to be. They know (from disappointing experience with "intact" men) that other means of satisfaction are often better at fulfilling HER sexual desires. Also, that sex-proximal activities (cuddling, sharing "slack time" together, just BEING together, etc) are often more important to the full-spectrum relationship than fucking.

What I am saying is that just a tiny bit of sex is enough for happiness for both partners if there is more of a relationship around it. Let me make a metaphor.

Happiness in a relationship is the "meat" around the skeleton. So, the "bone" in "boner" is good. But would most women rather have a complete standing rib roast or the stripped rib cage?

Any woman worth spending any time with would much prefer the whole roast, even if it were a filet.

So now, the question is: Are you a whole roast? No matter that your "bone" is slight, robust or even bendy. You could have a lodgepole or squishy toy, no matter. Have you got enough "meat" in your personality? Enough gumption to match your appetite?

Try it. Approach a woman who has signaled that she would like you to approach her. Converse. Relax. If/when she warms up to you, share as much of your sexual history as you feel comfortable (and do this before clothes come off). (((If she splits, she is not someone you want to invest time in, anyway))) If she does not run away, I guarantee she will appreciate your candor, just as several women appreciated mine. And if you are willing to take direction from her and learn to please her the ways she likes...the sky is the limit.

[Lost Sheep]

Adding this in a more concise post:

you guys can understand how much sexual dysfunction can ruin a man's life.

On my decades-long journey through declining potency I discovered how much E.D. can ruin a life AND how much a man can MAKE a good life great ... if he is willing to put energy into it.

If a man is not willing to put energy into it, even a magic dick will not help him enjoy the TRULY important things in life.

[Greg1956]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I know it sucks, but you did not do anything wrong and I bet there is a woman out there who will love you for who you are.

By age 16 my penis had achieved its 5" flaccidity length and 6 1/2" erect length. I felt blessed. By age 30 I had developed ED and began a steady decline. I ended up with 2" soft on the best of days and often it was fully retracted. My ED got more and more severe and I also got Peyronies. I had Prostate Cancer twice and ended up with tiny balls due to part of my treatment.

I have had people in my life who reaping to anything negative with a "why me?" attitude. I've seen how their negativity drives people away. I decided early on that I was going to project a positive attitude. It helped me emotionally to stay stronger, but it also meant my family and friends wanted to support me.

I have been a nude model for artists and college art classes most of my life. It is very humbling to be fully exposed to a roomful of people who are studying every detail of your body and knowing they are seeing a fully retracted penis. I chose never to act embarrassed about it. It was not in my control to have a larger penis, but I could control how I let it affect me.

There are a lot of guys out there who have big dicks that work, but they act like big dicks and woman hate them. If you are are loving man who is eager to love and please a woman, there are going to be some who embrace your positivity. I know you want to have a bigger, functioning penis, but if that isn't possible right now, look deep inside you for the strength to live happily in other ways.

[Flavio]

I've been there before and I know how it feels. I suffered from coital anxiety and barely had any sex in my 20s. I got obsessed about it, it seemed that nothing else mattered in life. ED is, however, easily treatable. In my case, information helped: read books, talk to doctors, consult good websites. The more you know about ED, the less stressful it will be.

[Lost Sheep]

it's impossible to find anything to be positive about when you lead a sexless life. I'm a decent looking funny 6'4" man who has women literally offer up sex, but I can't do anything about it because of my small and broken dick. it's like God set up a life to torture a human. I fucking can't take it anymore.

What is there to lose if you take up one of those women on her offer? Some women like going down on a man and I found it very easy and satisfying to orgasm semi-erect inside a woman's mouth. Not as satisfying as inside her vagina, but darned close.

I repeat, what is there to lose?

[Greg1956]

I am so sorry you are going through this. I know it sucks, but you did not do anything wrong and I bet there is a woman out there who will love you for who you are.

By age 16 my penis had achieved its 5" flaccidity length and 6 1/2" erect length. I felt blessed. By age 30 I had developed ED and began a steady decline. I ended up with 2" soft on the best of days and often it was fully retracted. My ED got more and more severe and I also got Peyronies. I had Prostate Cancer twice and ended up with tiny balls due to part of my treatment.

I have had people in my life who reaping to anything negative with a "why me?" attitude. I've seen how their negativity drives people away. I decided early on that I was going to project a positive attitude. It helped me emotionally to stay stronger, but it also meant my family and friends wanted to support me.

I have been a nude model for artists and college art classes most of my life. It is very humbling to be fully exposed to a roomful of people who are studying every detail of your body and knowing they are seeing a fully retracted penis. I chose never to act embarrassed about it. It was not in my control to have a larger penis, but I could control how I let it affect me.

There are a lot of guys out there who have big dicks that work, but they act like big dicks and woman hate them. If you are are loving man who is eager to love and please a woman, there are going to be some who embrace your positivity. I know you want to have a bigger, functioning penis, but if that isn't possible right now, look deep inside you for the strength to live happily in other ways.

I appreciate you commenting and attempting to be supportive. but, damn man, your flaccid is bigger than my full erection. there's a reason you put your measurements in your flair. it's because you're really blessed. (side note - I wish that wasn't a part of this site. the sizes in the flairs. they're only there as bragging rights.)

it's impossible to find anything to be positive about when you lead a sexless life. I'm a decent looking funny 6'4" man who has women literally offer up sex, but I can't do anything about it because of my small and broken dick. it's like God set up a life to torture a human. I fucking can't take it anymore.

I certainly am not bragging about my size. When I found this forum I felt reassured by guys posting sizes and some were small and others large. When I was commenting I mentioned how my penis retracted following the surgery to remove my prostate. That lasted several years. I shared that because I wanted you to know that even when my dick was almost non-existent, I never shied away from nude modeling, the gym locker room, etc. We (men) are so much more than our penis size. When mine was small, I maintained my confidence and I think that is a big part of what women find sexy.

I have a very good friend whose penis is tiny. He is very happily married and a father. I met him because he is also a nude model. He is one of the most outgoing, happy people I know.

I am not doubting there are women who like big dicks, but there are also women who fall in love with the man and whatever penis comes with him.

[csr1224]

Guess ill chime in a little. This may not be a decent piece of advice but rather then be partnerless why not try to find a lower libido partner? One who isnt in the mood all that often and is really more focused on being intimate and fun in other ways. Possibly someone who doesnt want sex but maybe once or twice a month? And by sex..i mean sexual contact of any sort. So long as you make it count and its fun for both i have found its a low pressure low expectation scenario. Puts less focus and pressure on both people. Then...you talk about it if its been too long but neither of you are super concerned about it.
Sex pressure is the kicker. Being evenly keeled is key. Being ok with SOME physical intimacy but neither being on the hook or pressured to perform.
But dont go through life without a partner. You dont have to. There IS someone for everyone.
That,sir; you can take to the bank. Someone for EVERYONE

[Txagq8]

I don't know you except from reading your postings.

i am not a doctor, a psychologist, a trained counselor, or a member of the clergy.

before actually following thru with such a drastic measure i sincerely hope you will contact a suicide hotline or mental health help line....available practically everywhere.

I've dealt with two suicides this year and that was two too many. The impact on family, friends, and even casual acquaintances is devastating.

Life is seldom pleasant, fair, but it is worth living. Before you do something drastic I hope and pray you will take the time to discuss this with a trained professional. You'll be glad you did and so will everyone else.

[Lost Sheep]

this existence has been beyond painful. I must have done something unspeakably awful in a past life and this is now my hell. well I just need to escape it then.

Jan 10 is not a good day to die. ( 2020-01-10 )

If life (Karma?) gives you penance in the life following doing something awful in a past life, what choices in THIS LIFE will provide Karmic benefits in your next? Surely suicide is not such a choice.

You have value and something to contribute to the world (I discern from your depth of feeling and ability to string words together). Do not extinguish that light. Your trials can be fodder to benefit others who need you. Need your wisdom. Need to hear your story. Share it. Share it now. And not just here. A support group where you can show others face-to-face the pain and perseverance the E.D. and other challenges you have faced and are facing. Your experience is important to share. Your reason for being on this Earth is not yet fulfilled.



Tell me this: What would it take to bring you back? Just the least thing that would tip the balance right now and give time for the future to provide a better path in this life?